• May 27, 2012

Mazel Tov, China: We Will Do You One Better Than An Empire State Building Souvenir

by Juli Weiner  8:39 am October 1, 2009

  • Today Iran + the UN Security Council will LITERALLY meet in Switzerland the country in hopes of convincing Iran to agree to a weapons inspection. [New York Times]
  • If Obama wants to send more troops to Afghanistan, he might have to ask the GOP for support. The GOP, of all people. [Washington Post]
  • Over 500 Indonesians were killed in Wednesday’s Indonesia-based earthquake. [WSJ]
  • And then a totally gratuitous second earthquake hit Samoa, which yesterday was basically razed by tsunamis. [CNN]
  • Harry Reid & Friends really want the House and Senate to vote on health care during the week everyone is expected to skip out early for Columbus Day vacation. [AP]
  • Hey happy 60th birthday People’s Republic of China! The traditional gift for 60 is turning the Empire State Building one’s favorite color. [AP]

{ 40 comments }

Cape Clod October 1, 2009 at 8:43 am

Can we send Alan Grayson to negotiate with Iran?

ManchuCandidate October 1, 2009 at 8:44 am

Filthy Swiss Neutrals. What makes a good man go neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were the Swiss just born with a heart full of neutrality?

badmuthagoose October 1, 2009 at 8:48 am

Probably a stupid, simplistic question about the health care thing: what’s the holdup?

the problem child October 1, 2009 at 8:49 am

Couldn’t we have just sent China some blood diamonds for it’s 60th anniversary?

AggieDemocrat October 1, 2009 at 8:52 am

Can’t Barry just send all of the GOP to Afghanistan?

Rotundo October 1, 2009 at 9:09 am

[re=424310]AggieDemocrat[/re]: He did, they were on embassy guard duty. Great PR for the Talib’s.

Serolf Divad October 1, 2009 at 9:12 am

OK, this is what I’ve got to say about “the Generals.”

For seven fucking years they stood silent as Afghanistan went to shit and George W. Bush assured us that “the Generals on the ground say they have enough troops” even though everyone knew that was bullshit because the place was going to shit right before our eyes.

Suddenly there’s a Democrat in the White House and these guys are all “hay, man’ we need more troops pronto or we’re going to lose this thing.”

Well fuck you. You lost it already when you stood by silently as George W. Bush dragged our assess into the most expensive war in history over in Iraq. Let’s just cut our losses and run. Afghanistan is toast. We already bungled the shit out of that nation building exercise.

hobospacejunkie October 1, 2009 at 9:14 am

I wonder what the Kuomintang are getting China for its birthday.

Serolf Divad October 1, 2009 at 9:16 am

[re=424310]AggieDemocrat[/re]:

Here’s what would happen: you’d sign the orders to have them sent over and somehow they would all wind up in the Texas Air National Guard instead… all except John McCain, who would crash his fighter on the way over there and spend the next 10 years in a Taliban prison being waterboarded for making an American flag out of tomatoes, cauliflower and blueberries.

Monsieur Grumpe October 1, 2009 at 9:18 am

Mother Earth is pissed or she has gas.

Cape Clod October 1, 2009 at 9:19 am

[re=424305]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I think it’s exposure to cuckoo clocks since birth.

dijetlo October 1, 2009 at 9:20 am

[re=424305]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Combatant confusion is a problem sweeping this country as well. Our young men don’t seem to be developing that ol blood lust like they used to. Where we just wanted to napalm the browns back to the early bronze age, todays youth want diplomacy, development initiatives or (shudder) UN resolutions to work out our differences.
I blame it on a lack of strong male role models in the home, when you used to watch your Dad pop your Mom in the kisser every Friday night for being “mouthy”, it made perfect sense to immolate entire villages to demonstrate our righteous umbrage, and of course it’s Obamas’ fault because it just is and while we’re throwing blame around, we should probably mention that those little pecker-woods watch way too much MTV.
As for the Swiss? They’re socialists which probably means they are too comfortable to want to die for principle they don’t actually share.

hobospacejunkie October 1, 2009 at 9:20 am

[re=424318]Serolf Divad[/re]: You know who else’s generals were too chickenshit too stand up to their leader’s bungled military decisions? That’s right. Hitler’s. And look where it got them. Forever mocked in a youtube video with fake subtitles. Is that what you want? Cuz that’s what’ll happen.

awesomeguy#1 October 1, 2009 at 9:22 am

There’s a minor typo in the 5th bullet. Also, “That cab has a dent.”

bitchincamaro October 1, 2009 at 9:22 am

[re=424308]the problem child[/re]: Better yet, let them harvest our organs.

Beanball October 1, 2009 at 9:27 am

It’s my birthday, too.

Could somebody light me up a building? Mind you, I have no special preferences as long as it isn’t some boring Mies van der Rohe crap.

bitchincamaro October 1, 2009 at 9:29 am

[re=424318]Serolf Divad[/re]: “Afghanistan is toast”, and the hawks know this, which is all the more reason for them to seduce the “left” into its blackened abyss.

the problem child October 1, 2009 at 9:30 am

[re=424330]Beanball[/re]: I could set a potting shed on fire for you, would that do?

dijetlo October 1, 2009 at 9:30 am

[re=424329]bitchincamaro[/re]: I think they’d rather rend our obese youth for their animal fats so that they can refine them to power their economic boom. We’re going to need thier organs if we want to keep the Republican party going another generation or two.

Aflac Shrugged October 1, 2009 at 9:30 am

I love how Congress feels it’s necessary to spend $6.6B this year alone to train Afghan soldiers, when the Soviets did that just by sending 100,000 of their citizens for the locals to practice on. Afghanistan is to insurgency what Cuba is to major-league baseball.

They like their Islam, their opium poppies and their xenophobia, and that’s not changing because Americans show up with guns to build grammar schools.

hobospacejunkie October 1, 2009 at 9:37 am

[re=424331]bitchincamaro[/re]: “Left” indeed. There hasn’t been a left in this country for at least 40 years. All we have now is a right & a far right.

ChernobylSoup v2 October 1, 2009 at 9:41 am

[re=424324]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: PMSing. Soon there’ll be massive lava flows in Hawaii, the vahjayjay of the planet.

Beanball October 1, 2009 at 9:41 am

[re=424332]the problem child[/re]: As long as it doesn’t set the neighborhood on fire.

Then again, and not knowing your neighborhood, I don’t know if that would be a bad thing or not.

Come here a minute October 1, 2009 at 9:46 am

The silver lining for the Samoas is that their destruction by earthquakes eliminates worries about their destruction by climate change.

Beanball October 1, 2009 at 9:55 am
DoctorCulturae October 1, 2009 at 10:04 am

Doesn’t China already own the ESB? In a default swap, as it were?

DC Hates Me October 1, 2009 at 10:06 am

Did any blonde tourists get their hair mussed up in the tsunami-quake? Coz that would be a newsworthy tragedy.

magic titty October 1, 2009 at 10:07 am

There’s one too many ‘skips’ in that fifth bullet.

SystemError October 1, 2009 at 10:09 am

With the earthquakes in Samosas, what will the world’s Indian buffets serve as appetizers?

hobospacejunkie October 1, 2009 at 10:09 am

Too bad Madam Chiang Kai-Shek died 6 years too early to congratulate the Chinese commies on their momentous anniversary. What a mockery of the revolution those budding capitalists have made. You’d think they were following blueprints of Lenin’s New Economic Policy. And we all know how that ended.

Lascauxcaveman October 1, 2009 at 10:40 am

I can’t quite remember where that “LITERALLY” meme came from.

Was that just something I said, and wrote it on the internet? Also.

imwatchingfamilyaffair October 1, 2009 at 10:46 am

Switzerland, ha, what a trap. Iran is totally going to get arrested and extradited back to the US.

charlesdegoal October 1, 2009 at 10:53 am

Let’s hope, for the sake of successful negotiations, that none of those diplomats traveling to Geneva is on the lam from American justice.

Elm Hugger October 1, 2009 at 11:15 am

Isn’t it the 50 anniversary of Twilight Zone too? Can we light up buildings for that too?

badmuthagoose October 1, 2009 at 11:33 am

[re=424310]AggieDemocrat[/re]: Hey! Class of 92 here. And I was a Dem back then, too. We had to be kinda quiet about it back in the day, though. For fear of being burned alive and all.

Uncle Glenny October 1, 2009 at 11:45 am

[re=424324]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: It was because of the gays. God has really piss-poor aim; he was going after San Francisco.

sparrow October 1, 2009 at 12:12 pm

It’s also Jimmy Carter’s birthday! He had a party and a live webcast and nice birthday wishes and everything.

bitchincamaro October 1, 2009 at 2:41 pm

[re=424336]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Present company excluded, you fellow commie bastard.

AggieDemocrat October 1, 2009 at 3:25 pm

[re=424466]badmuthagoose[/re]: Howdy, as they say. I hear you. The few, the silent. The Aggie libruls. (I’m Class of ’98 me-self.)

LowerdPeninsula October 2, 2009 at 2:32 am

I know what Obama would get China for it’s Sweet 60: a crappy ole Ipod.

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