LITERARY NEWS  2:25 pm September 30, 2009

by Jim Newell

No, it's not TrigMEET SARAH PALIN’S GHOSTWRITER: “[Lynn] Vincent is also a credited author on ‘Donkey Cons: Sex, Crime, and Corruption in the Democratic Party,’ a take-down of the Democrats co-written by conservative author Robert Stacy McCain…” The full text of that book can be found here. [TPM LiveWire]

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thefrontpage September 30, 2009 at 2:31 pm

We have a leaked copy of “Going Rogue,” and here’s an interesting passage, describing one intersting late-night meeting with McCain:

It had been a long day of campaigning, and I was relaxing in my hotel room, watching “Dumb and Dumber,” one of my favorite movies, when there was a knock at the door. I was only in my thong, T-shirt and robe, but I answered the door, thinking it was Glenn Beck coming back for one more round. But it was John–John McCain, with an anchovie and onion pizza–my favorite! And a 12-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon, cans, which is my favorite drink!! “Sarah,” he said in a soft voice, because it was about 1 a.m. and he was standing in the hallway, “I can’t wait any longer. I want to eat pizza, drink beer, and have an exciting, crazy campaign hotel tryst with you!” I said, “Well, you betcha, buster, what took ya’ so long, ya’ crazy ol’ silver fox!” I dragged him in, we ate the pizza, we drank all of the beer, and we had an all-nighter campaign hotel tryst that lasted into the early morning hours. We cancelled all of our appearances that day, stayed in, and watched soap operas and reality shows for 10 hours. That was my favorite day and night of the campaign.

Jim Demintia September 30, 2009 at 2:31 pm

Oh, well no wonder. Who else would be as capable of sensitively rendering Sarah Palin’s life-changing experience of having sex with donkeys?

Crank Tango September 30, 2009 at 2:31 pm

Donkey cons? is that supposed to be a hip modern video game reference?

Enturbulate September 30, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Eeeeeew. Palin was in San Diego “writing” while I was in San Diego? Need. More. Hand. Sanitizer.

hobospacejunkie September 30, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Oooh, a takedown of the Democratic Party. That’s not hard to accomplish. Just give ‘em majorities in both houses, then sit back & watch.

AbstinenceOnly Ed September 30, 2009 at 2:38 pm

Donkey Show: How Sarah Palin Can Save America, One Equine Phallus at a Time, or Maybe Two if She Relaxes her Jaw

ManchuCandidate September 30, 2009 at 2:39 pm

So whether or not Robert STACEY (That’s a girl’s doll name!) McCain is actually gay, there can be no doubt that Robert STACEY McCain is a vicious cocksucker.

Yeah, I just wrote that. And put it on the Internet.

problemwithcaring September 30, 2009 at 2:40 pm

But it’s Trig that pens her Facebook screeds, right?

pondscum September 30, 2009 at 2:40 pm

Gay men are gynophobic. ?? My gay gynecologist may have an issue with this statement.

taylormattd September 30, 2009 at 2:40 pm

Will there be pictures of the ‘tard “baby” in the middle of the “book”?

Rotundo September 30, 2009 at 2:43 pm

Well at least they hired her a professional crap slinger, it would have taken 10 years if they didn’t and there wouldn’t have been a single coherently expressed thought in this “tome”. Should be good for pressing flowers or making a book safe or fixing that wobbly table. When it’s remaindered at the dollar store (when they divert a few skids of them from recycling) I’ll have to pick one up.

Flanders September 30, 2009 at 2:43 pm


Snarkalicious September 30, 2009 at 2:44 pm

I believe our friends at 2 girls 1 cup should recieve a free copy of this twaddle, and a suggested script for a sequel.

Extemporanus September 30, 2009 at 2:46 pm

[re=423506]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Robert Stacy McCain is a gaytard.

Sweet Baby Cheeses September 30, 2009 at 2:48 pm

How many is Sarah gonna buy with her PAC money?

TGY September 30, 2009 at 2:48 pm

Lynn Vincent and Tina Fey will make Sarah Palin great.

Crank Tango September 30, 2009 at 2:49 pm

[re=423504]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: I’m sure she can do more. Look at the size of that helmet she squeezed out! Or was that bristol. No no no, not my sweet bristol…

JMP September 30, 2009 at 2:50 pm

You know, I think I’ve finally figured out the meaning of the title. “Goin’ Rogue” is a reference to the longstanding X-Men character, who has the power to suck the life out of everything she touches; and often speaks with an incomprehensible accent. It’s a metaphor for the quitters’ role in the McCain campaign, and her performance as governor.

user-of-owls September 30, 2009 at 2:50 pm

[re=423513]taylormattd[/re]: Yes! And they will pop up when you open it!

Voyou Charmant September 30, 2009 at 2:51 pm

Does anyone know if Robert “girls name” McCain raped and murdered a young boy in 1990?

Yeah, I just wrote THAT. And put IT on THE Internet.

Chickensmack September 30, 2009 at 2:51 pm

Says here that Ken Layne’s a cocksucker.


NYNYNY September 30, 2009 at 2:51 pm

Robert “Stacey” McCain, John McCain’s drunken cross-dressing half-brother, is a personal friend of mine, and probably the most decent republican I’ve ever met. So no bad-mouthing him. (But he told me he wrote that book all by himself, little bugger.)

RoscoePColtraine September 30, 2009 at 2:52 pm

Sigmund Freud cited as an authority on psychology? Did I read that correctly? If the atheism wasn’t bad enough, he went out of fashion in the 1980′s. But I certainly do believe that zapping gays with electrical current is an effective treatment.

polar_bear September 30, 2009 at 2:52 pm


new meme.

doxastic September 30, 2009 at 2:54 pm

You shouldn’t have offered Trig that flavored dip. Now everyone knows that wonkette is gay.

gurukalehuru September 30, 2009 at 2:57 pm

So, Robert Stacey McCain thinks it’s wrong of us to make fun of Sarah “Vagina of Steel” Palin as a mother. The mother of Track and Trigg (I actually rather like the girl’s names).
Listen, Bobby, we have only just begun to make fun of Ma Kettle of the Methlands. As long as she is giving speeches, writing (well, you know what I mean)books and rallying the base, we will be there to remind the world that there is some doubt as to the actual parentage of her retarded baby.

doxastic September 30, 2009 at 2:59 pm

That’s a lot of armchair psychology for someone who clearly hasn’t actually read any Freud nor actually gives shit about feminism. Listen Stacy, I don’t come to your house and tell you about John Birch or The Bell Curve, so how about you don’t try your hand at queer theory, ok?

Guppy06 September 30, 2009 at 3:07 pm

You’re trying to incite us to FAIL that website, aren’t you?

Katydid September 30, 2009 at 3:09 pm

[re=423544]gurukalehuru[/re]: Don’t you mean Sarah “Vajayjay of Steel?”

There’s something seriously, deeply wrong with an adult man who psychoanalyzes gay men and says they’re misogynists, but can’t bring himself to type the word “vagina.” Something tragically wrong.

Chickensmack September 30, 2009 at 3:09 pm

[re=423540]polar_bear[/re]: don’t you give that dickhead credit for creating a meme. Not unless it comes with pictures of him fellating a cat, with oversized fonts.

Neilist September 30, 2009 at 3:15 pm

[re=423478]thefrontpage[/re]: I died a little when I read that. Oh, and vomited a lot. An awful lot.

El Pinche September 30, 2009 at 3:21 pm

[re=423494]hobospacejunkie[/re]: boooyah!!!

Cape Clod September 30, 2009 at 3:24 pm

I hope Vincent translated everything Palin said into English. There isn’t much of a market for books written in Alaskian creole meth-cant.

Extemporanus September 30, 2009 at 3:24 pm

[re=423562]Chickensmack[/re]: If by “cat” you mean “Trig”, then the picture I linked to [re=423523]upthread[/re] just might fulfill your request.

Way Cool Larry September 30, 2009 at 3:27 pm

[re=423513]taylormattd[/re]: yes, and even worse there will be pictures of McCain’s schlong

Hopey dont play that game September 30, 2009 at 3:27 pm

[re=423531]JMP[/re]: Brilliant. Simply Brilliant.

About the picture: that helmet must have been a bitch to birth. Of course after sixteen kids, her birth canal must be like a water slide.

Flanders September 30, 2009 at 3:30 pm

[re=423561]Katydid[/re]: talk about being gynophobic! He can’t even *type* the word.

RoscoePColtraine September 30, 2009 at 3:33 pm

[re=423510]pondscum[/re]: Excellent point. One of my best friends is a gay gynecologist. He doesn’t deliver teh babies (he prefers to spend his evenings going out for drinks,) but prefers tightening up saggy vag, and apparently his patients like him a lot. Frankly, I never got that, but there it is.

Traveler September 30, 2009 at 3:40 pm

[re=423544]gurukalehuru[/re]: “Ma Kettle of the Methlands” stealing, now.

Voyou Charmant September 30, 2009 at 3:41 pm

[re=423540]polar_bear[/re]: Meme backed 100%

Can O Whoopass September 30, 2009 at 3:42 pm

Meet Palin’s Ghostwriter:

Goober Bush from Hooterville:

bitchincamaro September 30, 2009 at 3:50 pm

[re=423494]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I may soon resort to referring to it as the “Democrat” party. The respect. It’s gone.

Suds McKenzie September 30, 2009 at 3:53 pm

If you ever “refer” to this place you are doomed.

Yeah, I just wrote that. And put it on the Internet.

Waco Bandito September 30, 2009 at 4:05 pm

Now they’re looking for a Ghost Reader to help her memorize the exciting parts.

Fnor September 30, 2009 at 4:08 pm

I was really confused when I first read this, because I didn’t recognize her as a children’s book author.

UnattendedConsequence September 30, 2009 at 4:14 pm

Frankly, I can’t wait until we get that Reaganomics sense supplied again because we are going to survive, and we’re going to thrive and expand and roar back to life. Also, stop making stuff up.

Crank Tango September 30, 2009 at 4:15 pm

[re=423617]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: hmmm. I keep coming back to this post. now that I think about it, if I were a surgeon doing vageuvination surgery, I would probably want nothing to do with vag in my spare time, so it’s good to have a gay do it? I dunno, but at any rate, he’s doing god’s work and I salute him.

torera September 30, 2009 at 4:31 pm

Todd Palin is “a tasty hunk of prime beef” ?? Now who’s gay. In my (long) lifetime, from Dan Quayle to Todd Palin, Republican political consultants have consistently FAILed to identify males who really are attractive to the oppo sex. Maybe they are all closeted gays after all. The consultants I mean of course.

proudgrampa September 30, 2009 at 4:42 pm

Love the new meme.

Yeah, I just wrote that. And put it on the Internet. Also.

Mojopo September 30, 2009 at 5:59 pm

Love the photo!

Potater September 30, 2009 at 6:49 pm

Jim, I think that nice lady just called you an angry lesbian.

Joey Ratz September 30, 2009 at 8:32 pm

[re=423478]thefrontpage[/re]: a 12-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon, cans, which is my favorite

Beautiful. Just beautiful. *wipes tear away*

rocktonsammy September 30, 2009 at 9:04 pm

How many crayons did SP go through before she finished writting one more book than she has ever read?

SparkleKitty September 30, 2009 at 9:50 pm

ok, I’m saying it right here on the intertubes: Sarah Louis Heath Palin and ALL her spawn (Trick, Brisbane, Willard, Pooper, and Troglodyte)are fucking retards. I think Brisbane’s spawn, Trick, is also a retarded troglodyte. I said it. I said it. I said it. Right here on the intertubes. I believe it, and I’m not even being mean. It might possibly not be true, but I believe it to be true, nevertheless. Period. Sue me. I have a right to believe what I believe, don’t I?

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