oh that boris yeltsin
  • TODAY IN MARKETED EXCERPTS FROM UPCOMING BOOKS, ABOUT POLITICS: “Boris Yeltsin got so drunk during a visit to Washington in 1995 that Secret Service agents found him standing on Pennsylvania Avenue clad only in his underwear and trying to hail a cab so he could fetch a pizza. That was among the indiscretions revealed in a new ‘oral history’ of Bill Clinton’s presidency, based on 79 taped interviews between Mr Clinton and the historian Taylor Branch in late night visits to the White House family quarters. ” Ha ha, nice job with the ironi-quotes there, Times of London. (Because of blowjobs.) [Times of London]
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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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24 comments

  1. thejesusandmarycheney

    Silly commie. He should have ordered in, like us Americans do. Every time a pizza delivery guy has to awkwardly avoid seeing a middle-aged drunk guy’s scrote dangling out of his boxers while fumbling for change, an angel gets its wings.

  2. Brendan M.

    So, WaPo may be a pro-war, pro-torture neocon spank-rag, but they are a notch or two above British papers in basic classiness (not counting online “comedy” bits).

  3. Crab1

    OMG! I thought my college roommate was a just a fat drunken slob with failure in his future. Turns out, I lived with Boris Yeltsin for 5 semesters.

  4. Larry Fine

    There is the pizza chain here in Manhattan, Uno Chicago Grill, that I just had the worst pizza I ever ate. It was like cardboard, and tasted worse than a frozen pizza from the supermarket. I would not dare complain because the staff was almost 100% african-americans.

  5. dementor

    So, just how hot is this historian Taylor Branch, who got to make late night visits to the White House family quarters to perform oral history?

  6. The Station Manager

    I loved everything about this, and it appears to be arranged in order of awesomeness! Let’s have a break down, shall we?

    “Boris Yeltsin got so drunk during a visit to Washington in 1995…
    Love it.

    …that Secret Service agents found him standing on Pennsylvania Avenue clad only in his underwear…
    Holy shit!

    and trying to hail a cab so he could fetch a pizza.
    How can you top this? Oh, wait…

    That was among the indiscretions revealed in a new ‘oral history’ of Bill Clinton’s presidency, based on 79 taped interviews between Mr Clinton and the historian Taylor Branch in late night visits to the White House family quarters.
    Wait, wait, what the fuck? Did they really just say what I thought they said? They couldn’t have…

    “Ha ha, nice job with the ironi-quotes there, Times of London.
    They really did say it!

    (Because of blowjobs.)
    Aaaand scene. That’s a wrap, people!

  7. Tundra Grifter

    [re=415623]Larry Fine[/re]: There is a website – Science in the Public Interest, or something like that – that rates fast food for its healty properties. The Uno (I don’t think it’s “Uno Chicago Grill” – that sounds like a classic NYC name rip-off) pizza they rated should have been named “The Widowmaker.”

  8. thejesusandmarycheney

    [re=415634]Red Zeppelin[/re]Oh yeah? Wait until my tell-all comprised of Jeff Gannon’s Manhunt PMs is released.

  9. the problem child

    [re=415679]the problem child[/re]: So Hilary was okay with it. Little did she know that Branch was Bill’s “source” for the late-night pizzas that the White House chef was forbidden to prepare.

  10. Gorillionaire

    [re=415623]Larry Fine[/re]: The Uno opened a large franchise in our town a few years ago, right next to a large movieplex. My one visit there, under protest, gave me the opportunity to toss out the worst veggie burger in the history of food. I would like to say that the place was hit by lightning and swallowed by an earthquake as it burst into flames, but it simply went out of business. The location has been cursed ever since. A long line of cheesy eateries have come and gone in that building. It sits empty now with particle board covering the windows.

  11. Eric Cheney

    The “‘oral history’ of Bill Clinton’s presidency” will be out
    on Audio Books soon; three and a half hours of muffled gagging.

  12. Captain Swing

    You could just imagine the two of them together. Lock up the booze cabinet as well as the interns- The boys are in Da House!

    It’s a pity good old Boris is no longer with us. With the Presidential spotlight no longer shining on them, and Her Hillaryness busy over at Foggy Bottom or off overseas saving the world, that’s one reunion I’d like a invitation to…

Comments are closed.