Wonkette
Someone was not pleased with our treatment of Mike Huckabee, recently! Especially YOUR treatment, anonymous commenters. You are infidels, against Jesus and Allah.
From: <____@aol.com>
Date: Mon, Sep 21, 2009 at 12:20 AM
Subject: Comments Made By Wonkette Members
To: ken@wonkette.comClick here: Wonkette : Mike Huckabee To Become Fat Again
To The Editor:
In my search for information on Governor Mike Huckabee, I came across your site. I was very disturbed at the many comments made about the Governor. In reading the comments, I found that most of your readers must be young, ignorant infidels. It seems that all your readers could do, was to make fun of Governor Mike Huckabee. The remarks were childish and stupid. Even the writer, who wrote the entry page had an attitude against the Governor, and his faith.
I have a suggestion for you. If you continue your blog on the Internet, and you want decent people to read what you have to say, then you need to have an open mind along with a heart of tolerance. You don’t need fans, for your site, that has nothing better to do then to be mean and cruel to other human beings.
Whatever is your politics is, it doesn’t matter. It is how you treat other people intelligently, that matters.
This was delivered in sharp blue text, font size 18-ish.
I have a few photos of the Wall Street infidels after those whopping bailouts last year.
“Young ignorant infidels” would be a great name for a rock band.
Decent? This blog is about politics! There ain’t nutting decent about that.
BTW, infidel is a Muslin word to describe good Christian peoples like you.
I say it reads really well in any font.
I don’t think that person is doing it right. Reading, I mean.
From an aol.com email address. There’s a shocker!
What is with this, e-mailer’s strange placement, of commas?
By the time the presidential debates roll around, Mike Huckabee will be confined to his chaise lounge, popping Good & Plenty’s into his cavernous mouth.
Ooh! Watch out! Decent people won’t read your blog! By that I assume he means repressed church-going pig-fuckers.
“If… you want decent people to read what you have to say…”
Hmmm. Obviously this person is unclear on the concept of Wonkette. Decent people don’t read Wonkette, and if we find any decent people here they will be promptly ejected.
“If you continue your blog on the Internet…” Maybe it should be moved to another medium. That Washington Post pamphlet seems to have room for any old kinda shit anybody wants to write, so long as it’s in favor of continuous war and cheap tomatoes.
Yes, some stuff just stays funny.
No, we want indecent people who know how to use commas.
Today we are all mean and cruel to other human beings (like any other day)
“The remarks were childish and stupid.”
This is Wonkette. Childish and stupid is the lingua franca. I bet this person would go to Denmark and be shocked that everyone spoke Dainish.
Hey, I’m not young!
What if you want to continue your blog somewhere else? Like via spray paint on abandonened buildings’ walls?
And no, I think you need to stay away from the “decent people” demographic when seeking readers. You never know what will happen when decent people get together. The God-fearing, decent, family-oriented ones are the worst.
ManchuCandidate: Imma let you finish, but infidel is good old church latin for “without faith,” and christian intolerance is the greatest intolerance of the last millenium.
MIKE HUCKABEE HAS ALLEGEDLY SLEPT WITH 800 UNDERAGE BOYS. THIS IS A TERRIBLE RUMOR AND IS FALSE, BUT EITHER WAY.
Has he denied it?
And one more thing…
The most insulting part of that e-mail is that “Wonkette is a blog, on the Internet.”
May Thor strike them down
I’m going to take that e-mail as a compliment.
shortsshortsshorts: there is a place at Fox news for you!
V572625694: I was thinking of starting a blog by using skywriting but it would be difficult to archive all the posts.
“infidel”–isn’t that muslinspeak for christian and shit?
The “then” / “than” discrepancy ruined it for me.
shortsshortsshorts: MIKE HUCKABEE HAS SLEPT WITH OVER 800 MAC-N-CHEESE HOT POCKETS THIS IS TRUE.
If there are any decent people in here, they better get the fuck out RIGHT NOW. We want none of your AIRS here, no sir.
Gentle reader:
Your failure to bring agreement to subjects and verbs makes baby Jesus cry. And don’t even get me started on your infelicitous deployment of commas. In future, please try to make a passing attempt at English language mastery before sending out any more email missives.
Yours truly,
QAE v 2.0
P.S. Mike Huckabee is still a fat, sheepfucking sack of burro guano.
Crank Tango: maybe you should read the comments before commenting, jackass.
Things started off strong until the unusual commas and verb problems made the last two paragraphs fall apart. I say this is progress: the writer has only recently discovered how to turn off the caps lock key. In another decade I foresee a gmail account!
He lost me at “@aol.com”
YOU HAVE A BLOG ON THE INTERNET???!?!?!???!
I like this guy. He thinks I’m young.
Nothing like dishing out insults when calling somebody out for dishing out insults.
I object to “infidel.” That offends me. I prefer “pagan.”
We infidels with open minds are an intolerant lot, indeed.
We shall not tolerate the intolerant. Especially the stupid and the intolerant.
A buffoon from Tennessee who thinks that evolution is a hoax and that homophobia is a basic First Amendment right is both stupid and intolerant.
If his version of Christian-stan at least gave us beautiful cathedrals, good food and wine, and closeted priests in fabulous gowns speaking in romance languages, we’d be tempted to give him a pass.
“You don’t need fans, for your site, that has nothing better to do then to be mean and cruel to other human beings.”
Haha, it’s ‘that HAVE nothing better to do THAN to be mean and cruel to other human beings!’ What a stupid cunt who I hope has a miscarriage, and is probably a bed-wetter.
I can do this all day.
thehelveticascenario: Whatever, that is, you, can you, mean?
On the other hand, at least this nice person sent comments about Wonkette to Wonkette.
Have you read the hilarious comments and rave reviews about Faux Noise sent to “News Hounds?”
What a hoot! You betcha!
Does anybody think that Mike Huckabee sent that e-mail?
shortsshortsshorts: Mr. “@aol.com” has a blog, in his pants.
Sometimes when I google “Chubby porn, ” it comes back with the darndest sites, too.
Gorillionaire: +1
I would like to commend this writer for being roughly 30% more literate than Wonkette’s average emailers. See, ____@aol.com? I can be decent, to other human beings, on this blog, on the Internet.
You know this isn’t the first time I’ve been called an infidel…and I am sure it won’t be the last, but at least this time it isn’t a member of my family doing it…
Robot Santa: Ugh, that should be anybody *else* think. The 18-point blue font and AOL account tend to scream Mike Huckabee (or his evil fat twin).
Dude, who wants to hang out with decent people? Fuck that.
Robot Santa: Probably one of his fat kids. Huckabee for all, of his, faults knows how, to place a comma.
Tundra Grifter: I prefer atheist, but fuck him anyway.
This guy’s head will explode when we start commenting on Limbaugh. Not only can we make fun of his fat ass but also that he’s a drug addict and likely pedophile. Now that will be a good Wonkette comment section.
The Young, Ignorant Infidels is my new band name. Previously we were ‘Coulter’s Discharge’.
Look for our first single ‘Huckabeetbox’ on shelves 10/13.
thehelveticascenario: He, or she, borrowed the, random comment generator, used frequently by, my, college students. At least he didn’t use quote marks for emphasis.
What does this person mean by a heart of tolerance and why would we want such a thing?
I had a wonderful infidel day yesterday. It was Eid, did you know that? We celebrated by getting drunk and having buttsecks.
So, like, does that make him a “fidel”?
The writer, is invited to, eat a bag of dicks.
Wonkette drives a stake through the heart of tolerance, and our commas will run over your dogma.
What a fucking moron. You expect me to think that the writer of the letter is decent and not childish and ignorant? Just look at the punctuation! There are at least three unnecessary commas.
“Whatever is your politics is, it doesn’t matter. It is how you treat other people intelligently, that matters.”
Whatever is my politics is, what doesn’t matter.
Of course, all of this could be explained by fat fingers making the trouble to type.
Jesus sucks.
Tundra Grifter: I usually go with “syncretic.” Confuses the hell out of people.
I am upset with this letter. I am OLD, ignorant and like Fidel.
AnnieGetYourFun: Um, so how was yesterday different from any other day in wonkette-land?
And 18 point font means, that he forgot to resize, before sending, right? Meaning that I am in fact young by his standards!
But oh, wait! I didn’t comment on that story, so he has no idea how rude I COULD have been, but wasn’t.
>This was delivered in sharp blue text, font size 18-ish.
Was it in Comic Sans?
do we want decent people to read what we say? gog and magog forbid! me mumsy and me poopsy is decent peeps and i don’t want them anywhere near this site. too late to change their minds anyway.
AnnieGetYourFun: Let’s put this into perspective.
1. “Infidel” is a term used by Islamic militants when describing the western world.
2. Wonkette is a blog in the western world.
3. This person is attacking a blog in the western world.
Therefore, the writer of the e-mail is a terrorist and Wonkette is the victim of an American hating terrorist attack.
CAN YOU SEE IT?
If this AOLer thinks we have a heart of darkness because of what we said about Huckabee, wait until AOL looks in on what we’ll say about Sarah Palin’s up coming Hong Kong speech. I love the smell of slutty flight attendants in the morning.
Gorillionaire: OMG is there really such a thing as a Mac-n-Cheese Hot Pocket? How have I missed this? I bet they are ORGASMICALLY FABULOUS after a hard night drinking.
Somebody confiscate his “comma” key.
AnnieGetYourFun: Jessica Cutler would approve.
Friend, please let us know how your search for information on Mike Huckabee is going. Are you finding any? Have you looked under the ham hocks in your meat locker?
First off, I don’t think anybody here would want (self-described) “decent” people reading this.
Second, I’m surprised he didn’t refer to “the Governor” as “his excellency.”
As one who is both old and, um, fidel, I am deeply offended. I have never made fun of Mike Huckabees girth, diameter, or gravitational pull in any way. Please retract your meany-pants email.
Yours in Christ,
Ned Flanders
Please continue this blog, on the Internet!
Another unhappy customer. It’s pretty obvious why they don’t believe in evolution - it was very cruel and neglectful to them.
the problem child: As I (and my family) live in the Bible Belt, I prefer to just not fucking talk about it at all. I would honest to god be more comfortable telling my grandparents that I was gay (not actually gay, but you get my point), than that I was agnostic.
Mr. Aol.com was searching for information on Huckabee and he came across Wonkette?
Wonkapedia?
Damn, Wonkette is a blog on the INTERNET?! I thought we wuz on the twatting space, neat the tubes.
ManchuCandidate: Ha! ‘Nutting’. Priceless like whore diamonds for Mike Huckabee’s allegedly formerly female fat children.
I glory in my infidelity, or whatever, as gigolos do. As to Hucks, he’s the Wingnuts’s Choice. What more is there to say?
“Near” the tubes.
I think you are all decent people.
Sarcastic, socialists, perverts and alcoholics.
But decent.
Tsk. You Wonketteers, unable to accept a little helpful criticism - you snarky, buttsecking bastards.
PsycGirl: I have to wonder if “heart of tolerance” is a new dogwhistle term for the Religious Right. I’m going to ask my well-informed sources.
Bible Spice uses “servant’s heart”, which is a dominionist dogwhistle. Usually when she uses it it is to complain that someone doesn’t have one because they dare call her on her bullshit.
twowheeljunkie: If I was a decent person, do you think I could make this funny noise with my buttocks?
twowheeljunkie: Heartagold
yargisbargis: I like neat the tubes.
LOL@AOL. I would say we should bomb “real amurrica” back to the stone age, but that would be redundant.
PS: I use netzero /secretshame/
Zadig: Actually, agnostic would be more like bisexual in my book, but I think I get you. When your grandparents “go to heaven” will you be coming out of the closet?
hiphophitler: I was in Fidel, then I pulled out. The condom had not broken.
Heart of Tolerance? The horror! The horror!
Yes, exactly, anonymous AOL mouthbreather. Decency, toleranance, open-mindedness, intelligence - are these not the very words that come to mind when one thinks of Mike Huckabee and his fundie brigades?
The infidels on this Internet blog could learn a lesson from anonymous AOL person who was kind and tolerant enough to point out how mean, cruel, ignorant, childish and stupid they all are. It is just as Jesus said, “Judge a lot, lest someone else judge you first,” and, “Bless those who curse you… with incoherent, self-contradictory e-mails.”
Today, we are, all, young ignorant infidels. (Who don’t know how to use commas)
I believe I will start a blog called ‘Your Blog on the Internet’. It will be about Everything.
twowheeljunkie: Take that back! I am not a socialist. How the hell could a socialist afford Cognac and top-shelf whores?
richbachelor: nice
PsycGirl: Were you by any chance referring to the random “comma” generator, professor?
queeraselvis v 2.0: I wish to take issue with your usage of guano in reference to donkeys. Guano specifically refers to excrement from birds, bats, or seals(wtf?). Other than that, dead on.
CorkPopper: Nothing is better than a frozen 7-11 extra spicy beef and bean burrito at the end of a long drunken night. Nothing. Fie on this “hot pocket” filled with pablum.
Wait! I’m 63 years old and I think Huckabuck is a fat idiot. And Huckabuck is a Christian, so isn’t he an infidel? I am way confused.
I think the key point is that the e-mailer (Huckabee) didn’t deny that Huckabee will be getting fat again.
…and some of us suck cocks.
Prommie: “coma”
Oh joy! We’ve achieved the rank of Infidels Wonketteers; Next, we become apostates.
twowheeljunkie: Aw, that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
Zadig: Haha, you used “honest to god” in your statement about being agnostic. In all seriousness though, I know how you feel. We have one of teh gays in my family and that is okey-dokey, but when I told my mom that my husband and I are agnostic and not planning on raising our future children in the church she told me that she was going to take said future children some weekend and get the secretly baptized anyway.
But to be on topic, Mike Huckabee is fat and so are AOL emailers. Why would he (she?) even click on a result that was titled “Mike Huckabee To Become Fat Again?”
He’s really not a governor, you know. That was so 2007. You can start referring to him by his new title, “Fox News personality Mike Huckabee.”
Prommie: I thought colleges all had random commie generators…
The commas, kind of made the letter, awkward to read. I imagined that it, was read by a guy with breathing problems. Like Gman, from Hl2 or Cancer, Man from X-F,iles.
I-man: “Heretic Apostate Infidels” is an even better band name.
18-point? Man, even his supporters’ fonts are fatter!
Well, that does it for me! I vote Wonkette moves elsewhere. Maybe a decent site that says decent things for decent people like Red State. I’ve heard there’s room next to a cartoon of Obama eating fried white babies.
Slow Fish: ifyou can throw “exegesis” in there, too, it works wonders.
ManchuCandidate: Careful there, Man. You’re thinking of “Kafir,” which is apparently both a tartly tasty dairy product and a term for non-believers in the ONE GOD. But even that is not to be used for Christians and Jews. Infidel is a Middle English term, from the obvious French, fidel. Who is also a commie. Thus sayeth the Wiki.
Thank you all; Wonkers make nasty intolerance tart and tasty.
twowheeljunkie: What’s up with everyone calling me an alcoholic lately? Just because most of my facebook status updates/sent text messages are random, misspelled, incoherent ramblings at 3am it doesn’t mean that I’m an alcoholic. Wait, what was I saying?
Crank Tango: Did you hear about the fundie who buggered the ex-president of Cuba? He was “in” Fidel! HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW
Prommie: As opposed to the random “apostrophe’s” generator’s thats my other nemesis.
But I like TGY’s idea of a random “coma” generator. I will be ordering one from Amazon this week.
This person is obviously a communist. The more the Wonkette is rude about the Huckabee, the more young commenters it gets, the more advertising money it gets. It’s called capitalism, Mr Communist!
Today we are all young, ignorant, ifidels. Except I prefer heathen.
I am not young!
(I love the email of the day feature. What an idjit.)
Infidels?! So Bin Laden reads Wonkette?
I smell a meme:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_-oHtvVVsfDo/SrfBVNs3MzI/AAAAAAAAA-8/utNT8reQkJE/s1600-h/chuckaware.jpg
He or she is right: Satire blogs like this one should be more tolerant of hypocrites.
“If you continue your blog on the Internet”
To hell with that, USENET newsgroups are the next big thing.
Guys, you’re reading it wrong. It’s a poem. And it must be read along to our national anthem.
To The Editor:
In my search
for information on Governor Mike
Huckabee, I came across your site.
I was
very disturbed
at the many comments made about the Governor.
In reading the comments, I
found that most of your readers
must be young,
ignorant infidels.
It seems that all your readers could do,
was to make fun of Governor Mike Huckabee.
The remarks were childish and stupid. Even the writer,
who wrote the entry page had an attitude against the Governor,
and his faith.
I have a suggestion for you. If you continue your blog on the Internet,
and you want decent people
to read what you have to say,
then you need to have an open mind
along with a heart of tolerance.
You don’t need fans,
for your site, that has nothing better to do then to be mean and cruel to other human beings.
Whatever is your politics is,
it doesn’t matter. It is how you treat other people intelligently, that matters.
Slow Fish: Including me.
Imma let you continue your blog on the Internet, but … Wow, that really does get old fast!
I’m always conflicted when we get these letters. A part of me wants to behave myself just long enough to coax our new friend further away from the front door and into the playroom where we can have our way with them for a while. But then the impulse to just be myself typically prevails and I end up asking HuckabeeFan if it’s ok to at least talk about Huckleberry Jr. You know, the one who was arrested for torturing a dog…
Hucka beeeee Hucka boooooo Hucka Beeeee Hucka Bahahahahahaha. Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah We hate decent people because we love Satan. I totally agree with you that people should be respectful of Satan because he is intelligent. Huckabee=turd. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
problemwithcaring: A “meme?” Are those the people the clowns kept beating up in the classic “Shakes the Clown?”
“Whatever is your politics is, it doesn’t matter.”
It just doesn’t matter.
It just doesn’t matter.
It just doesn’t matter.
Tundra Grifter: Greatest alcoholic clown movie ever made, in my opinion.
Prommie: I vote for a couple pints of dark chocolate ice cream. Just save some for with cola for a hungover breakfast.
I really hates it when I get an email that’s written with blue letters.
Whatever is your politics is, it doesn’t matter.
Truer words were never were.
So how does this guy know what decent people will or won’t do, anyway?
Cool! Another Huckabee is fat tub of jesus fat thread !
I-man: Meh. Wake me when we pass through Anathema.
In all seriousness, these people must experience a whole other internet than we do. When researching a political candidate, how on earth are they winding up reading a humor blog’s comments? It’s like looking for dogs and winding up in a furry forum. Internet illiteracy has got to be the number one cause of “emails of the day.”
Prommie: Mine is Oliver Stone’s W.
Good sir/madame, this is not just a blog on the internet. It is a blog IN THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. Show some respect.
Mike Huckabee’s an infidel
*FUCK* you decent people. I support indecent people that will drink fermented fluids and run naked through the woo-ids.
isadelia: Yeah, I noticed a couple weeks ago that I do that sort of thing A LOT. A relic of my teenage years as a Jeebus Goblin, I suppose. I have committed to exchanging all Christian references in my swears for Norse Pagan ones (still need to read the Elder Eddas to get a full vocabulary). Because Odin’s lost eye, if I’m going to namedrop some nonsense I don’t believe in during everyday conversation, it should at least be some INTERESTING nonsense.
Call me Mr. Tibbs: It really does lend itself to doing a bad imitation of William Shatner when laid out in that fashion. Kind of like he did with “Lucy in the sky with diamonds” way back when.
S/He called us infidels!! Kinda like the muslins do, right??
Random commas, improper pluralization, and other random acts of grammatic genocide?! This is the work of Sarah Failin’, damn it! Also.
“…nothing better to do then to be mean and cruel to other human beings.”
Have you MET other human beings? They are the strongest argument for being mean and cruel.
This is the funniest one of these yet, in a sporadic tradition of “I have NO IDEA what kind of a website I am on” e-mails to our beloved Wonkett. Really, we only get about one every 3-4 weeks that is worth laughing at. Why must there be so many smart people who actually “get” us? It’s the doofuses with no ability to read tone or purpose or audience in a blog that make us happy! More! Maybe Clueless McCan’tWritepants will get back to us.
This was from david.denby@aol.com I’m sure
dear letter writer person , if by decent ppl , u r meaning u , then fuck off ………..
I’m an old, well-informed, infidel. The best thing about a pres. Huckabee would be calling him Fuckabee. Otherwise, he’d be worse than Bush.
Prommie: Top 10 movies of all time. Period. Except that when most people write down that list they end up with about 25 films.
well, the comments here are pretty terrible so
Intemperate comments, no. Dog murdering, yes.
This is so a chick who wrote this.
Hey Wonkett! In the middle paragraph, they are as fond of commas, as you are!