Wonkette
BARACK OBAMA, JOINT CHIEFS, ROBERT GATES ARE ALL QUEERS: Barack Obama and Bob Gates hastily announced this morning that they were going to scrap George W. Bush’s massive plan for a long-range missile defense system in Eastern Europe in favor of a short- to medium-term new system that would be installed more quickly because THOSE ARE THE MISSILES IRAN IS BUILDING. Conservatives are reacting… let’s see here… oh look, by going fucking insane. [NYT, National Review]
Yes. Who will protect us from the French now?
Prepare for the Russian army to march west and re-colonize eastern Europe. I sure do miss the cold war.
…agreements to build a powerful radar in the Czech Republic and to base interceptors in Poland had put NATO on a course for preparedness.
Obama has decided to cancel THIS MISSILE DEFENSE SYSTEM THAT WE DIDN’T HAVE. Now we are all doomed.
Every red-blooded christian Mericun knows god loves him some war.
So why is our president defying god and old, white, teagaggin, wimmins.
We’re doomed, I tell you!
Well, we’re doomed if we had the contract at Raytheon or Lockheed or whoever it was that was going to build those missiles. Otherwise, no problem!
it doesn’t have to do with the fact that missiles look like giant dicks, does it?
why would anyone want to shoot down a giant dick soaring majestically in flight, anyway?
The Afghani’s are defeating America with their super-donkeys. America should start a donkey-breeding program to combat this menace.
Anyway, don’t Repugs react to everything Obama does by going fucking insane?
If you’re keeping score at home that’s:
Russian bombast = Sucky, American bombast = Awesomez
It’s September 10, 2001, all over again.
Larry Fine: You mean jackass-breeding program?
The linked article has great authority because it cites Donald Rumsfeld who has done great things for the defense of expensive weapons systems.
Hey wingtard chickenhawks. Want some SDI? Cough up some them prewshious taxcuts you been advocating. Contrary to your economic masturbation fantasies, gold plated pieces of shit that can’t hit the target don’t pay for themselves.
Obama wants to build a system using “existing technology.” Why does Obama hate innovation?
Well there goes my weekend now that Mr. 19th Century Circus Moustache Bolton will be all over the friggin TV telling us how terrified we are supposed to be.
Is it the weekend yet? Because really, I have things to do.
The NR*A is quite pissed off about this.
*Rocket
“You forgot Poland.” - George W. Bush
The Joint Chiefs of Staff, huh? What the hell do those clowns know about national defense?
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Use a condom.
I for one welcome our chickenshit overlords.
“To say that the Obama administration was scrapping missile defense, Mr. Gates said, is misrepresenting the reality of what we are doing.”
And we all know what sticklers the Republicans are about how reality is represented.
Larry Fine: “America should start a donkey-breeding program to combat this menace.”
We have one already! Seriously Actually, they’re burros and they’re being used in Afghanistan by the army and the guys have to learn to pack a burro. Think of it: Being the army’s official burro trainer. This is a true, true thing because I read about it in the CS Monitor, and Mary Baker Eddy doesn’t lie (except about not using painkillers). This would warm the cockles of Col Potter’s heart. Too bad they didn’t use them in Korea.
Has one of these ABMs ever worked against an ICBM, without the incoming missile having the electro-mechanical equivalent of a “kick me” sign on it?
I never did understand what the Iranians had against the Poles. On the other hand, Poland’s basically the toilet of European history, so WTF? Let them bomb the fuckers until they come up with some vowels.
WadISay: Not really. They do look menacing, though. Phallic, as several posters have pointed out.
This will leave more money in the Pentagon budget to develope the Gay Bomb.
We are clearly waving the white flag of surrender to Genghis Khan and his Mongol hordes gathering in the East.
Way Cool Larry: Well, the term ‘going insane’ is perhaps mistaken. It presupposes that the subject does in fact at some point exist in the not insane state. I see no evidence to support that situation.
This overturns one of the major diplomatic and national-security achievements of the Bush years.
This is implying there were others?
…one of the major diplomatic and national-security achievements of the Bush years.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Diplomacy? Achievements? Sorry, Repugnants. King George’s Cowboy “Fuck Y’all” Diplomacy is invalid outside of your Land of Make ‘Em Believe, and being a corporate/political Shleprock is not an achievement, no matter how hard you try to glorify it.
Why does Obama hate The Gap Band?
Also, John Bolton can fuck himself with an outdated missile system. The only goddamn thing he did as Undersecretary for Arms Control (or as the Freepers would call him, the “mustachioed asshole Czar”) was attack the International Criminal Court. The argument boiled down to: The ICC will prevent militaries from acting with impunity and committing war crimes. This is bad because we reserve the right to act with impunity, nay, it is the only way we know how to act! And then our own soldiers would be tried internationally, even though the Court only asserts jurisdiction when the home country is not willing to prosecute, because of course we will not prosecute. And that would fuck our power projection. The end.
Now there is nothing to stop Charles Krauthammer from invading Poland.
Jim, you seem to be remarkably surprised that conservatives would be obsessed with missile-shaped missiles.
Suds McKenzie:
Yes there is… Just remove all the wheelchair access from the buildings.
Yes, I went there.
ManchuCandidate: Hey, Charlie is opposed to those fucking things. He thinks it was better in the olden days when “the government” didn’t get all up in everyone’s business trying to order us to make it easy for the cripples.
Downtheroadapiece: exactly. you cannot go to where you already are.
We don’t need no missile defense shield. The Free Market will take care of it. Steve Jobs can invent the iMissile, that fits in the palm of your hand and the US gummint can rent it for $99.99 a month, on a two-year contract.
ManchuCandidate: Howzabout you come on over to my place and let me hump that there leg for ya.
Man, I had a hell of a time getting out of the NYT. This calls for Rush Limpdick & Glen (felcher) Beck to usurp power immediatly, then invade Poland, France, and Russia. After all, the entire Russian system is like an old dilapidated house, if you kick in the front door, the entire rotten structure will collapse. Beware of Stalingrad though, history teaches us that nothing good can happen there.
Larry Fine: Ix-nay! The donkey genetics program going on for years in Tijuana is top secret.
It’s like in the Iron Man II trailer, where Tony Stark says that he is a nuclear deterrent. So let’s get on that building of some Tony Starks.
What a bunch of quitters — we wouldn’t be suffering this scary lack of an imaginary missile shield if we had done the right thing and elected famous quitter and snowbilly grifter Sarah Palin! “I told them thanks but no thanks to that missile shield in Alaska, and then I asked them to keep building it even thought it will never work, and let’s build it in Poland and the Czech place also, too!”
CAPITAL LETTERS!!!!!1
What the fucking fuck?
Moscow has criticized the deployment of missile defenses in Eastern Europe on the absurd grounds that ten interceptors pose an effective challenge to its own massive arsenal.
In their own defense of being assholes they admit that the billions they want to spend are fucking useless.
Conserve. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Note, this post is signed by “The Editors”, meaning that at least two of the cunt-nugget-juggling conservative heroes thought this was a good idea.
I think we ought to bring back the Spartan/Sprint ABM system from the late 1960s. The latter missile was a short-ranged littled “cone” of a thing that pulled about 90 gs in acceleration, and detonated a neutron bomb within the atmosphere, at low altitude, directly over the cities it was supposed to protect.
One slight flaw was the the defending warhead’s detonation likely would do as much damage as the one on the incoming ICBM.
Sort of a variation on the famous nuclear handgrenade: Destroys everything within 300 meters, but is so heavy that the average infantryman could only throw it about 5 meters.
Oh, well. Back to the drawing board.
[Boy, I miss the Golden Era of Aerospace/Defense Spending: You could get funding for ANYTHING.
Good times. Good times.
:::Sigh:::]
Apparently I conserved my usage of the close tag.
More reckless defense cuts:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/obama_axes_pentagon_plan_to_build
The real goal of Bush & Company, besides pulling the Russian bear’s tail, was to try to force a wedge between the new EU members of eastern and central Europe and the old members, especially France and Germany. This was because of the neo-con aversion to the EU and their consequent desire to retard European integration.
Lech Walesa has already said this decision will require Poland to rethink its international relationships and move closer toward Europe. Which it should do, as Poland is now an EU member, and shouldn’t be encouraged to try to play the EU off against the US.
The EU already has Britain to do that.
Ooh! “Ideological fervor”! My thighs are trembling.
Former Ambassador Bolton’s horror at this turn of events will be entirely consistent: Should we fail to provide our poodle friends (the Polish government) with the inherent largesse of a DoD boondoggle, what is to stop them from flying into a fit of Polish piqué, and discontinuing their practice of secretly storing and torturing our prisoners for us?
It’s as though the neighborhood mini-storage, porno store, and Catholic parish house were all closing at the same time, and no but he cared.
Larry Fine: Isnt’ there some southern politician trying to breed with a donkey already? I swear I read about that here…donkey fucking: it’s all the rage.
The funny part is that they tried to explain away the fact that the original Bush rationalization was BS by claiming they have new and improved intelligence that the Eye-Rain-eee-an missiles can only hit things near Eye-ran.
DustBowlBlues: let’s just re-establish a few regiments of good old horse cavalry and the ‘tards will be fine.
Larry Fine: We’ve already started a donkey-punching program; isn’t that enough for you?
DustBowlBlues: Suicide burros! Kaboom!