Wonkette
OMG David Denby murdered, literally murdered, blog-plagiarizing newspaper columnist Maureen Dowd, hid her body inside a wall, and wrote her column today! The Great Pundit Bitchfest About Civility 2009 continues: “It’s not. That country is gone. And in terms of biases that have faded, that’s a good thing. But partly due to the Internet, the standards of behavior in this new country are terrible. If Beaver and Wally were around today, they’d likely be writing snarky, revealing blogs about June and Ward.” Ha ha those blogs would be awesome. [NYT]
Insert “Wally sure was hard on the Beaver last night” joke here.
Civility is SO overrated.
Who’d she fuck for that scoop?
MoDo for Civility Czar(ina).
Joe Wilson for Boorishness Czar.
And Eddie Haskel would be Sarah Palin’s 2012 vice presidential runningmate.
Gee Wally, don-cha-think that Maureen Dowd is one fine looking Cougar
More Mo Tucker, less Mo Dowd.
Ward, I’m worried about the Beaver…
Hello, Mrs Cleaver, you’re looking extremely lovely today!
Fun Leave it to Beaver fact: Eddie Haskell went on to be a porn star.
Curious thing about porn: Is everybody in every porno a star? Are there no porn supporting actors or stand-ins?
Have to watch more porn and try to figure this out. Be back in a few days.
Ohhh, those darned Internets tubes. Another something they’re responsible for. As opposed to the entertainment industry lauding stupidity and violence and jackass behavior. We need to start kicking them around again. And radio. And maybe cellphones. Probably telepathy, too.[must...resist...writing "also"...too...unghh...]
Did anyone else hear Camille Paglia’s meltdown on “On Point” this morning? The topic was the lack of civility in public discourse. Clearly, she didn’t get the memo.
Damn right my grandkids won’t (and my kids didn’t)grow up in the country I grew up in and thank goodness for that. There is no longer legal segregation in Washington, DC or Virginia where I work , there are not covenants to stop minorities from buying into certain areas, my cousin wouldn’t have had to move to the West after he sold houses to black people in certain areas in Pennsylvania and there are hate crime laws for things good old boys like Wilson and Boner probably did and would do if it was still legal. I would like civility to return and I plan to help it- if anyone texts during this season at the Shakespeare Theatre- I will ask them politely to stop and then smash their device. If you speak into your cell phone near me in the movies- I won’t ask- I will smack it out of your hand. Thank you - we return you to Wonkette now.
Fuck civility.
OzoneTom: Joe Wilson for
BoorishnessChucklehead Czar.fixed
V572625694: Nobody wants to be “that person having sex in films of minor note” aka Dustin Diamond.
Why is booing Bush in his second term as president and calling Obama a liar before he even finishes the first year of his first term considered equivalent? To misquote John Houseman, “Bush made that disapproval the old-fashioned way. He earned it.”
gurukalehuru: OK, thread’s over. Win.
The trend runs like this. Write this down, for I am old.
The first impulse is to grab the mic and proclaim how you think the proceedings should proceed. After all, it’s not your party. This is incivility. The next progression is to throw the party yourself and seethe about all the little upstarts who outrage protocol. You have become civilized. The First Amendment prevails when you are not being heard and then when you have invested in the sound system you lurch over towards the Fourth about not being annoyed.
The Boys of Summer, sang Dylan Thomas, soured the boiling apples, but then they grew up and inherited the streudal works, and began arresting all these worthless saboteurs.
Or, as Taylor Swift invites us to sing along with her, if given the chance,
The green shoot
Which drives the flower
Hauls my shrowd sail.
The End
Ahhh…MoDo, just can’t help yourself, can you?
After all that civility talk, you have to take a swipe at the internet.
(At least you aren’t blaming the Clintons.)
Dowd and Denby: You both need to shut the hell up, retire, and leave us all alone, for gawd’s sake, you ranting, raving, blattering moronic idiotic raving lunatics!
god.was.stingy: This just in:
21) Did Ken Osmond (Eddie Haskell) become a porn star?
Another urban legend. John Holmes, and adult movie star took his name and did several movies satirically under the name “Eddie Haskell”. Mr. Osmond launched a $25 million suit. The suit went all the way to the California Supreme Court. The court ruled for Mr. Holmes, saying the name was protected as a satire. This case set a precedent in the matter, and is still referred by other cases in California today.
magic titty: Find out on our blog! cleftbeavers.blogspot.com has all your hottest celebrity columnist hookup news! And don’t miss the latest revelations about our parents!
Yours in blogwhoredom,
Wally and the Beav
“Eddie Haskell went on to be a porn star.” It’s an urban myth, but don’t let that stop you from your research project.
I’m sorry, I got distracted with Meghan McCain’s hair, did David Denby say something about Maureen Dowd’s beaver being uncivil?
V572625694: That means at one point “I’m fucking Eddie Haskell” was a double entendre.
What a jackass
People are only civil with their perceived peers.
I made several porn films under the name Ron Jeremy.
V572625694: I always thought it fell more under “wishful thinking” rather than “urban legend”, but maybe I am strange.
If snark was a dick, this would be the equivalent if Maureen Dowd completely a bukkake session, sitting up and declaring, “Sex is an abomination!”
I understand Marge Schot complained about the lack of civility in modern culture. Sheesh! Go back to writing about Hillary Clinton’s ass cheecks or whatever, MoDo.
sp/completing
I BLAME ALL-CAPS!!!11
Dear Maureen,
While we can only agree that the falling standards for manners and genteel conversation in general has been both precipitous and deplorable however, if we may be so bold as to point out, we didn’t come down to your job and slap that oozing, canker-ridden corporate cock out of your mouth, so shut the fugup.
V572625694: Pretty sure everyone but the girl in bukkake films are simply “Porn Extras”.
I, like Joe Wilson, also long for the bygone era of civility wherein if you were the illegitimate daughter of a racist senator via his secret bouts of Jungle Fever, you were a lady about it and kept your goddamn dirty nigra mouth shut!
MoDo has no parents to snark about, unlike Ward and the Beav. She arrived fully-formed, bursting out of Denby’s pube-beard with a mechanical owl full of Revlon on her shoulder and a spear formed from Helen G. Brown’s antique vibrators in her hand.
Yeah, we need to go back to the Golden Age of Civility, the late-1990s, when a president was impeached over personal business and a New York Times columnist won her Pulitzer because she wrote about it.
Good times, man, good times.
glamourdammerung: I think Maureen needs to be a little harder on the Beav. Lighten up, Frances!
HEY YOU DAMN KIDS! GET OFF MY BEAVER!
Also, if you’re a fat chalky, just in town for a quick race war and hot wings, hearing dusky teens describe you (accurately) as a racist counts as being “menaced by thugs on the metro.” Whatever happened to “No, Suh” and “Yes’m, I will powerfully service you sexually”?
SnarkNotFark: Maureen’s thread has been out longer than Meghan’s thread. Maureen has gotten 40 comments. Meghan has gotten 79 comments. Does Maureen think things like, Fuck you, Meghan! or is that too bloggy?
Carl Spakler: MoDo is exactly 2 days older than I am, which makes her an older woman, or cougar, if you insist. And yes, I’d totally hit that.
“If Beaver and Wally were around today, they’d likely be writing snarky, revealing blogs about June and Ward.”
Oh, bullshit. If Beaver and Wally were around today, they’d be . . . WOLVERINESSSSSSSS!
Particularly after Ward told them, “AVENGE ME!”
Sorry. Sorry. I’m still obsessing about that re-make. (DAMN you, Imissopus. Damn you to HELL.)
Although, come to think of it, June might be working as a “hostess” in that Soviet-American Friendship Center.
Alongside Eddy Haskell . . . . .
V572625694: Sorry. I know this isn’t snarky, but Eddie Haskell (the actor Ken Osmond) went on to become a L.A. police officer. He was a motorcycle officer. I met him a few times. Nice, unassuming guy. Please return to your regularly scheduled snark.
UnattendedConsequence: In the age of Xtube, none of this precludes his being a porn star as well.
“Hey Wally, don’t you think Mamie Eisenhower is just a total be-yotch?”
“Golly damn, Beav, She’s no worse than that Muslin socialist husband of hers.”
tehbenton: Camille Paglia is like the China Syndrome. She’s on constant meltdown, from here to the center of the earth and right out the other side.
Yeah, Maureen, because calling some guy a “racist” because he yelled “You Lie,” in a room full of politicians no less, is totally civil. I can’t think of a more genteel, constructive way to address the issue at hand.
AIPAC Neocon Megaphone:
all shills & trolls
re Demonization of President Carter
A blog about beaver? I’d read that.
Lumpy Rutherford would be on the “Excellence in Broadcasting” Network, and Whitey Whitney would be a South Carolina Congressman.
So close, Mo, but not quite. A+ on the posture, you remembered about the hand, but see, you cup the hand under my NUTS. Warming your chin is my job. And I know the shellfish poison has paralyzed much of your face, but — here’s a mirror — see? That’s a girl, part those lips just a little. Aw yeah. That’s right. Now let’s start off with a few little butterfly kisses…
thefrontpage: ya bottom?
If we go to SOMA or SOHO and hit a MOCA or MOMA does MoDo have to go too?
MoDo doesnt like snark unless it involves an intern and jizz.