Wonkette
Dimpled fascist Rick Santorum basically committed himself to running for the President of Republicans, in 2012! At least, this is what he told a bunch of Catholic leaders at the Catholic Leadership conference, which was held somewhere over the weekend at some point. Your Wonkette guessed as much was true when back in August Santorum said he was going to be in Iowa in October. Anyway, Santorum famously could not even manage to get elected to a third Senate term back when he was Pennsylvania’s two-term Senator. Considering how big of an obvious failure he is, he is still pretty confident about WINNING THE PRESIDENCY, which is what counts! “Six months ago I would not have spent ten seconds on your question, but it’s not six months ago. I see that, I hate to be calculating, but I see that 2012 is not just throwing somebody out to be eaten, but it’s a real opportunity for success.” [LifeSiteNews (which is somehow not a website for pornography?) via Ben Smith]
My prayers have been answered.
I feel good about my chances of harvesting tears of sorrow from his kids after the GOP primary.
Yes. Please. I so want to see Santorum take on the incumbent Obama for the Presidency.
He doesn’t hate to calculate, he calculates to hate.
There is clearly no reason to go to Iowa unless one wants to be president.
“2012 is not just throwing somebody out to be eaten” … but you wouldn’t mind being eaten, as long as it was by the right senate page, right Ricky?
I can see why. He’s got name recognition all around the US America thanks to Dan Savage.
And I thought today wasn’t going to be awesome.
Santorum/Trig’s Mom 2012
Run Anal Ooze, Run!!!!
Santorum/Newt vs. Palin/Bachmann
This gonna be GREAT!
/flounder
~
He didn’t just fail to win his third term; Bob Casey beat him by like 20 points. It wasn’t close.
But I can see where a 20-point loss for a Senate seat would make Santorum think he’s Presidential material. Because that is, by definition, douche logic.
Didn’t go on record saying that, oh, the gays are animals? I hope he wins to primary just for the entertainment value of Barry burning him down.
Throw him out to be eaten … by African lion!
Eat Santorum in 2012! Hell, eat it every year until then, too.
I excitedly await Santorum vs. Palin in the GOP primaries, knowing that I will not have to suffer under either’s presidency.
I’ve prayed to God to make my enemies ridiculous fetus-worshipers; by and large God has complied with my demands.
I just phoned my NRA + GOP father to ask him about this. Quote: “If this clown gets nominated, I will vote for Obama. He’s even worse than Palin”. ‘Nuff said.
PALIN/SANTORUM 2012: THE MAYANS WERE RIGHT
translation: the GOP is so fucked that even I look viable.
Ah, the Republicans. They got nothin’!
4tehlulz: I bow before this comment.
Hmmm. I’m new here. I guess “fascist” is shorthand for “Christian conservative Republican” around here?
Norbert: Don’t you mean by “African the White House [picture of lion]“?
“Yes I hate to be calculating but who knew the tea-baggers and birthers and town-hallers would create enough of a stink to make a fine presidnet unpopular. So of course I’m going to delude myself into thinking I can win in 2012. Or at the very least, to be known as a ‘former presidential candidate’ to increase my speaking fees on the Jesus-circuit.
Oh dear, did I say that out loud?”
4tehlulz: Wait wow “[Santorum] revealed that he has seven children, with one in college. The reason why the sixth is not college-bound is the fact that his 16-month-old ‘Bella’ was born with Trisomy 18, a genetic disorder which is fatal before birth in 90 per cent of cases.”
I mean, does this sound straight out of Sarah Palin? What are his children named? And have you seen his birth cert.?
Republicans are officially the most illogical, delusional, insane concentration of people I have ever seen.
So, who do we likely have running so far?
Sarah “Tina Fey won an Emmy making fun of her” Palin
Rick “dog on man” Santorum
Newt “impossible failure that people still somehow listen to” Gingrich
Bobby “dopiest droop faced motherfucker I have ever seen and he does exorcisms!” Jindel
Joe “I yelled a thing” Wilson (I’m sure someone already has draftjoewilson.com)
Mike “getting fat again, hey, does he have a lazy eye” Huckabee
Mitt “where has Mitt Romney been, torturing dogs?” Romney
Charley “Though, not entirely unlikable, we all know he is too tan and gay and reasonable to win” Crist
Tim “fuck that guy is borning, but sometimes he goes on Rachael Maddow’s TEEVEE show” Pawlenty
Michele “holy shit, can you imagine how amazing that would be” Bauchmann
Am I missing anyone?
On an unrelated note; Why isn’t Howard Dean the czar of something or another?
What cavity did Santorum drip out of this time?
Lube/Fecalmatter ‘12!
Jesus how I love that picture, just to inbredy!
Savage/Santorum/Snowball ‘12!
irativ: Wow…what a freaking bizarro writing style the author of that article has…
irativ: I could make a comment about the child(ren) that involves Liberty University and/or Bob Jones U, but I won’t. I’ll leave it to everyone’s imagination. I’m already going to Hell; I don’t want to have to sit beside certain, unnamed members of the government.
Maybe one of Santorum’s kids can impregnate or be impregnated by a Palin on the campaign trail- I can hope, can’t I?
So. This is kind of a profane, perverted communist hate site? Run by an ugly slut?
Gotcha.
irativ: This is an honest question. Do rightee evangelicals have children non stop until one of them is genetically defective and that’s interpreted as god’s message to give it up already, the planet is crowded enough?
lollibs: Perverted is very subjective. Can you be specific? In great detail of course, and go slowly.
4tehlulz: That’s really funny.
Let’s hope he gets in in 2012. I’d much rather look at Rick’s family for 4 years than those impressive and adorable Obama children and that smart, classy, motivating Michelle. She’s just too perfect. And, the President is almost too good…smart only goes so far. It’s got to be taken down a notch or 20! (Rick!) We over-shot. I’d much rather be ruled by a guy and his family who truly represent what Republican living can do to a person. Show people once and for all how it “hobbles” the spirit. Case in point: study the picture….
Take a look at the wife’s expression and the Stepford children. Pure, un-adulterated “slacker-in-training future litigious victim” gaze. The torment shown in the face of the child (choking the doll, lower right)…. “I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna…you can’t make me!” The doll kinda looks like “Kitty Carryall”. Does Cindy know?
What would her Secret Service code name be? Maybe Jan Brady? `Marcia…Marcia…Marcia!!!’
Exciting future to look forward to. Go Rick 2012. John Stewart & SNL will need some good seed material for their upcoming seasons. You’re our guy!
Maybe “Cindy Brady” instead.
Neat.
lollibs: Say hi to Larry the Cable Guy for me!
lollibs: Communist? Hey, I don’t cooperate with anyone.
And for having a name like lollibs you sure don’t know how to bring the funny.
Darkness: If you actually took a look at birthrates, you’d see that it’s not those e-e-e-evil White Christians who are breeding like vermin and causing this planet to be overcrowded.
But then, that would involve actually knowing what the fuck you are talking about, and discussing objective facts based upon empirical evidence. And other crazy stuff like that.
No, it’s so much easier to just spew venom at people you’ve never met before, but that you hate because they have a different worldview than you do.
I just LOVE you “tolerant” “progressives.” ;-D
lollibs: Ah, at least you brought the funny this time!
His name sounds too much like a Roman Caesar. Actually I think Caesar Santorum was the one between Diocletian and Duodenum.
lollibs: Lets be real here; the Wonkette editors are attractive sluts.
lollibs: Oh goody. I would’ve been disappointed if you hadn’t been racist too.
Is America really ready to elect a frothy byproduct of anal sex? I say yes!
lollibs:
If you assertions were based on raw numbers and not by, say more importantly, energy/resource consumption then you might have a point. A North American kid uses about many times more the energy/resources as an African, Chinese or Indian.
As for tolerant? Where the fuck did you get that shit? We’re tolerant of others differences, not stupidity/hatred and douchebaggery, Mr Santorum.
lollibs: Oh Christ, lollibs, don’t tell me your part of the fucktardian ‘Quiverfull Movement’ who think they are in a fetus marathon with the Muslin horde? Are the Dugger and John and Kate your heroes?
Somebody’s sense of humor apparently fell victim to Propofol.
Santorum is working hard to make it OK to hate on Caffliks again.
I think we found the troll who paid for the FIT Personal Training ad and has therefore been given the run of the place.
lollibs: “it’s not those e-e-e-evil White Christians who are breeding like vermin” That’s true, conservatives are an older demographic whose members are dying off.
“knowing what the fuck you are talking about” Potty mouth.
The Santorum campaign is being underwritten by the manufacturers of Olestra.
lollibs: If you actually took a look at birthrates, you’d see that it’s not those e-e-e-evil White Christians who are breeding like vermin and causing this planet to be overcrowded.
Well thank God for that. All that generational inbreeding has already made most of them incoherently stupid, so less of them might help restore the collective IQ .
And who but a brain damaged McCarthyite fucktard calls people “communist” these days anyway?
Your trailer park called , it wants it’s trash back. You best run along home now.
lollibs: Birthrates? Have you counted the number of kids in that photo lately? Not counting the one speaking at the podium, of course.
And they’re slacking compared to those Quiverfull folks.
Katydid: Win.
Also, Santorum/Man-Dog Sex 2012!
Paul Tardy: When you say Ceasar Santorum, all I can think of is some irate guy at a restaurant yelling “What the f*&# did you do to my salad?!”
By all means, people, I’m sure the Stormfront Troll will change his/her approach once confronted by facts.
lollibs: You MUST be new. We don’t get trolled here. ;’(
Ceasar Santorum? Is that the Dog Humperer?
SayItWithWookies Paul Tardy: Well, a funny thing *did* happen on the way to the Santorum.
lollibs: We’re profane?!! Apparently you haven’t seen your racistCzar of Blowjobs.
lollibs: “But then, that would involve actually knowing what the fuck you are talking about, and discussing objective facts based upon empirical evidence.”
Are you saying “Get a brain, morans?”
lollibs: Indeed, we hate communists in some of the most profane and perverted ways possible. Why, don’t you?
lollibs: Well, duh…
lollibs: We’re not saying White Christians are “e-e-e-evil.” We’re saying they’re “i-i-i-idiots.”
lollibs: Oh, and perhaps you’ll forgive us; not everyone is as tolerant of, say, ugly sluts as you are.
lollibs: Besides, he’s not Christian, he’s a Papist!
lollibs: Wow, Monday morning is going great! First, The Crying Santorums and now a troll?!
Also, today we are all ugly sluts.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Indeed. And if you disagree, eat a whole bag of Wow chips. You’ll also appreciate the importance of anal plug technology.
2012 is not just about throwing somebody out to be eaten by the lion in the White House, our very own Barry Sellasie, Lion of Judah, Ras ta Far I A, motherfucker.
Oh, and lollibs is a big poop head.
Darkness: When I was a child, people in my neighborhood used to accuse my father of being a communist. His response was always, “I’m not a communist; I hate poor people.”
Great, now we can all worship Wild West Six-Shooter Jeebus. Don’t challenge Jeebus though, he nevah missed.
“Here Santorum turned to abortion describing his reason for fighting against it politically saying, ‘I think of we treat these people in society and how we destroy them. 86% of Down syndrome children are aborted - killed. And Down syndrome is 5 times better than what Bella has’.”
AURGH. Look, I am really happy for families that have the resources to care for disabled children (also, I very seriously doubt that 86% of fetuses with Down Syndrome are aborted). Trisomy 18 is a tragic diagnosis, and it’s… well, touching, I guess that some couples have the money (and the health insurance) required to carry a child to term and try to treat such an infant as well as possible before it dies. It’s all well and good to be like, “We wanted to do right by our religion”; it’s another thing entirely to suggest that other people are wrong for not following in your footsteps.
Especially since you would like be standing against the healthcare reforms and public assistance that would ALLOW less wealthy individuals to bear and raise disabled children.
Fuck. I ran out of snark on this one. I just hate hypocrisy.
SnarkNotFark: So messy!
I take it back. We were trolled.
He isn’t running for president. He’s going to the bridges festival in Madison county to look for a brief torrid hike up the Old Appalachian Trail of his own so he too can be a big boy in the Republican party and leave the kiddie table.
boose: I’m not a communist, I look terrible in red.
Wait a minutes . . . . what were the teabaggers wearing this weekend? [cue background music] Dun DUN dun!
lollibs: Trucknutz. Also.
lollibs:
Why yes it is. Ken is quite ugly for a woman. Not bad for a man but definitely not a beautiful woman.
lollibs:
We love you too. Preferably with you bent over so we can get buttseks from you. You kno9w you want it even if you think you must claim you don’t.
Darkness: But think how cool you’ll be in a Che beret!
lollibs: I don’t believe your mom runs this site, but it’s possible. Enjoy your stay! Soon you will have Santorum dripping out your eyepatch.
AnnieGetYourFun: likeLY be standing against the healthcare reforms. What are you, a fucking Valley girl?
zenferret: What? Remove my Tyrolean Jagdhut? Never.
I finally figured out who that girl reminds me of. Cathy Geist, she of the Dora the Explorer underpants, on 30 ROCK. I mean that girl is a touch too old to be dragging a doll around, no? A doll who is wearing the same dress as her?
lollibs:it’s not those e-e-e-evil White Christians who are breeding like vermin
translation: lollibs is too fat and gross to even get laid, much less breed.
AnnieGetYourFun: Beats being valley trash.
Darkness:
Q: “Do rightee evangelicals have children non stop until one of them is genetically defective and that’s interpreted as god’s message to give it up already, the planet is crowded enough?”
A: Not always! Some of them are infertile, and a great many more are far too ugly to ever get laid, ever ever ever.
Death Panel Wagon: Aw, geez. Beat to the punch again.
Imagine the fun frothy mix headlines: ‘Santorum Covers the Country’ . . . “Santorum Emerges in Race’ . . . ‘Republican Voters Attracted to Santorum’.
lollibs: YOU LIE!11!1
lollibs: Failtroll
lollibs: You just came to hang out and wait for the buttsecks, didn’t you?
lollibs: No, actually we’re quite intolerant here. Or, as someone else said, we “don’t suffer fools gladly.” If we cite statistics, we generally provide a link or a source so the rest of us can rip it apart. We love when functionally retarded (almost always, but not exclusively) republicans make hilarious and outlandish claims and statements, such as Palin’s death panels, or Santorum’s man-on-dog sex. But the funnest of all, by far, is when a troll such as yourself, fresh from holding a misspelled hand-scrawled sign at a teabagger rally, shows up here and tries to articulate an intellectual line of reasoning, sprinkled with wit. We live for that.
Thank you Wikipedia:
“After attending schools in the Butler Area School District where he gained the nickname “Rooster”, allegedly because he “always had a few errant hairs on the back of his head that refused to stay down” (because of an orthodontic head brace)”
Fly Over Girl: Really … how has it been so long since this pic of Rooster has been revived from the Wonkette archives?
http://img.wonkette.com/assets/resources/2006/09/rooster.jpg
nbawriter:
High school baseball manager? Liked hanging out in the boys locker room with the jocks to watch them get out of the whirlpool but wasn’t good enough to get on the team.
That was actually the second time Baby Jesus tried to put the kabosh on Santorum - The Next Generation:
http://www.therationalradical.com/2005/05/santorum-sleeps-with-dead-baby.html
OH GOD YES PLEASE YES PLEASE SANTORUM/JINDAL 2012
YES, ALSO. SANTORUM/JINDAL 2012. IT MAKES ME LAUGH. Or, Palin, or Bachman. Any combination thereof, please, God.
Are his kids Amish?
If he gets to be Preznit, we HAVE TO be able to whale on his kids. I mean, just LOOK at all that stand-up fodder.
AnnieGetYourFun: “86% of Down syndrome children are aborted - killed. And Down syndrome is 5 times better than what Bella has” So, if you do the math, 5 * 86% = 430% of trisomy18 kids are aborted! That’s over four abortions per kid. I guess that’s why they put a blonde wig on Bella’s left one, to cover the scars.
Other than that, villageatrois likes trisomy.
That picture is STILL funny!!
June Cleaver 2.0: I bet his pouty fat little daughter is even chubbier and grumpier.
Santorum/Crist 2012! Romney/Vick 2016!
“Do rightee evangelicals have children non stop until one of them is genetically defective and that’s interpreted as god’s message to give it up already, the planet is crowded enough?”
Santorum and his wife had delivered a baby in 1996 at 20 weeks who lived two hours outside of the womb. Rick Santorum then took the dead 20-week-old home for his living children to hold. The man is one sick puppy.
Rachel Maddow had the Governor of Pennsylvania, Ed Rendell, on to talk about this very subject. Rachel of course brought up the Man on Dog statement that Santorum is most notorious for but I also thought of the dead baby and also that Santorum had taxpayers in Pennsylvania pay for his children to be home-schooled in Washington, DC through a Christian-based online program by using an address he did not live at in order to claim residency. What a pig! Then Gov. Rendell mentioned that although Rick Santorum had voted against every health care measure that would have benefitted the working men and women of Pennsylvania he was at the forefront of the fight to have Terri Schiavo’s care removed from her family and given to the government, rank hypocracy from a man who is now going around railing agains a “government takeover” of healthcare.
“Santorum had taxpayers in Pennsylvania pay for his children to be home-schooled in Washington, DC through a Christian-based online program by using an address he did not live at in order to claim residency.”
What?! A “Christian-based online program”?! If it was not identified as Catholic then it must have been… dun DUN duh! PROTESTANT!!!
Hello Vatican Operator, please connect me with the excommunication hotline.
C’mon Rick pick a side in the 30 Years War. You think it’s over then take a trip to Belfast.
I guess if you want to win the Republican Nomination it’s probably not good to belong to the same religion as all those “illegal Meskins”.
He also railed against medical malpractice lawsuits, calling on a $250,000.00 cap on pain and suffering awards. Meanwhile, in 2005, his wife Karen sued her chiropractor in Virginia for $500,000.00 claiming his spinal manipulations caused her pain and suffering. Rick Santorum testified to the jury that he now had to carry the family laundry upstairs and the jury awarded Mrs. Santorum $350,000.00. Of course the “permanent” pain and suffering her bad back causes her doesn’t seem to have prevented her from spreading her legs and spawning again. Grifters.