Wonkette
Awhile ago Barack Obama decided he was going to be America’s first Transparent President. This was fine because of how benign it was, for him to claim that. Like, sure! Anyway, then in June, things became ILLEGALLY OPAQUE when Obama announced that he, like Bush, would not be releasing the White House visitor log. Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington didn’t think this deliberate withholding of information was so transparent at all actually, so they sued Obama, demanding he better start living up to the “Most Transparent” superlative that was awarded to him in good faith by the all the seniors on yearbook committee. Of course CREW did not win its lawsuit (obviously), but now Obama is releasing the White House visitors’ logs anyway.
Obama is America’s first and second Transparent President!
“The new policy would begin in mid-September. Electronic visitor logs maintained by the Secret Service would be released three to four months after visits are made. The disclosure would include who set up the meeting, where it was held and for how long. Specific requests for visits before Sept. 15 would be dealt with individually.
Exceptions would be made in cases of national security, extreme confidentiality — such as a visit by a future Supreme Court nominee — and strictly personal visits to the first family, including daughters Malia and Sasha.”
Every defense contractor, weapons manufacturer, and exiled foreign dignitary in DC will now befriend Sasha Obama.
America applauds when Barry drops his logs!
So long as the logs show how many visits he gets from the Socialist Labor Party, William Ayres, and Panda Bear, I don’t care about the rest.
I’d prefer a tape recording of everything said, like with Nixon. Those tapes are golden.
“Transparent? Why, he’s as black as the ace of spades!”
[/my grandma]
Scene: Malia’s play room. Two very white uptight serious men wearing tiaras sitting in tiny chairs with Malia Obama surrounded by dolls and stuffed animals. Malia’s making “tea” from her tea pot.
Defense Contractor #1: Um, can we talk about business?
Malia Obama: No. Until you drink tea with my dolls.
DC 1 and DC 2 look at each other “When in Rome…”
DC #2: Mmmmm, what’s in this tea?
Malia Obama: From daddy’s hidden cancer stick stash that mommy found.
Both men try not to gag.
Malia: Here are some cupcakes I made.
She offers them chocolate cupcakes make with her EZ Bake Oven.
Both men reluctantly take them and eat them.
DC 1: Mmmmmmm. These are tasty?
Malia beams: I used some X or Lax Chocolate from daddy’s medicine cabinet.
Looking sick, DC 2 turns to DC1: There’s got to be an easier way to lobby to get a 2nd engine for the F-35.
DC1: That’s what you get for thinking Wonkette would help, you ass.
ManchuCandidate: I nominate this for comment of the day.
S.Luggo: Did you say Panda Bear or PedoBear?
No deer for a month.
ManchuCandidate: You so crazy. But you misspelled “Wonkett”.
An hour blocked off every day for a Mr Chance Gardener
GuyClinch: I like to watch.
Oh wow! Sulu! Get his autograph!
President Obama: Guys, we’ve gotta do something about the Chinese trade deficit. It’s like the game of basketball - it has to be an even fight for both teams.
Chinese Ambassador: You have such gargantuan penis. Our penis are so very, very tiny. (Utters command in Chinese. Assistant drops his pants.)
President Obama: Oh wow, that is tiny. Umm..never mind about the trade deficit. You guys can go now.
Well the guy who’s forging Obama’s birth certificate better deliver it by next week like he promised or they’ll have a hell of a time explaining his visit.
I predict that the logs will reveal at least seven of the eight surviving members of the Wu-Tang Clan.
Rick Warren’s totally going to be visiting sssssssSasha!
Suck it CREW! You would have gotten the logs sooner if you hadn’t thrown down the gauntlet by suing. Lawyers just can’t resist a challenge.
What’s the opposite of a Drudge siren?
OMG, as a North Korean basketball fan myself, I feel like Barry just touched me in my special place (the guy with him, Jin Choi Park, is one of North Korea’s greatest hoopsters). This is what it must have felt like for cricket fans when he posed with Brian Lara.
“and strictly personal visits to the first family, including daughters Malia and Sasha.”
And Hoodoo witches visiting Mrs. Robinson for blood rites and African dancing also.
So, we’ll find out about the Playboy Mid-Summer’s Nite Dream party, relocated to the White House, from the magazine before Obie confirms it?