Wonkette
George Will is such a hot potato right now! BUT A SPINELESS POTATO? He received so much publicity for his other column a few days ago — when he “stunned” Washington by “going Galt” and calling for an end to the millenia-old Afghanistan war, making him the first very serious important pundit to do so, ever — that now he’s like, “Iraq is also no good.” Hmm where’d he get that idea? Probably the Huffington Post or Al Gore one of the other Internet places.
But what will intellectual smart serious educated conservative realist George Will write in his next column! Any thoughts about our troops in the Korean DMZ, too? Maybe… maybe get out of ol’ Korea, too, after 60 years? A suggestion of this nature would easily land him five minutes on Anderson Cooper or whatever that night… or what about Saudi Arabia? Oh just kidding! No very important serious journalistic educated smart intellectual college-educated reasonable political scholarly Washington Post columnist will ever write that because it is not serious about Security.
Thank you for reading this far. Maybe we should get on with the topic of George Will and Iraq. George Will has questioned the mission in Iraq for about three years now, which is a standard number of years to question such a war in such a place when one is a serious political columnist and scholar. Anyone who questioned it for longer than three years, of course, was never intellectual and educated about national security.
From today’s important iteration:
If there is worse use of the U.S. military than “nation-building,” it is adult supervision and behavior modification of other peoples’ politicians.
We had never fully considered the silliness of these aims and tactics until such a known national security human as George Will informed us, just now.
This is an important development in seriousness. In 2002, any serious person would not have believed such things. 9/11 had happened and national security was at stake because of Saddam Hussein and his nukes and his chemical agents and his government’s very factual and indisputable secret meetings with Al Qaeda in Prague. Saddam Hussein was personally sending anthrax to Tom Daschle in the Senate, and George Will knew this, and was serious then too, and smart and college-educated and very literate, and told Charlie Rose these things about Democracy, on television:
I think the answer is that we believe, with reason, that democracy’s infectious. We’ve seen it. We saw it happen in Eastern Europe. It’s just — people reached a critical mass of mendacity under those regimes of the East block, and it exploded. And I do believe that you will see [in the Middle East] a ripple effect, a happy domino effect, if you will, of democracy knocking over these medieval tyrannies . . . Condoleezza Rice is quite right. She says there is an enormous condescension in saying that somehow the Arab world is just not up to democracy. And there’s an enormous ahistorical error when people say, “Well, we can’t go into war with Iraq until we know what postwar Iraq’s going to look like.” In 1942, a year after Pearl Harbor, did we have a clear idea what we were going to do with postwar Germany? With postwar Japan? Of course not. We made it up as we went along, and we did a very good job.
(And we’re already leaving Iraq, dumbass.)
Time to Leave Iraq [WP]
It was all a dream. It turns out the WMDs was us all along.
Next thing you know he’ll be wearing dungarees.
Al Gore one! Al Gore one!
What this country desperately needs right now is “adult supervision and behavior modification” of the contractors we hire to guard our embassies and such shit. I’d love to see the punishment fit the country: which means in Kabul the so-called “guards” are rounded up, brought to the soccer stadium, and beheaded. Sooner rather than later.
Consistency is for the unemployed.
If there is worse use of the U.S. military than “nation-building,” it is adult supervision and behavior modification of other peoples’ politicians
Yeah. Let ‘em learn to drink vodka out of each other’s anuses on their own.
Which direction is the wind blowing today George?
I can’t think of anything less relevant than George Will. Exactly who does he think is reading him, besides libtards? The intellectual wing of the Republican party is now so small you could drown it in a jelly jar. The rest of the party hates people like George Will because they use two-syllable words and their soundbites don’t rhyme.
Instead of publishing his musings, George should just start up a private correspondence with Peggy Noonan and leave us out of it.
He looks like Louis in “Revenge of the Nerds”.
Tommmcatt: ‘Instead of publishing his musings, George should just start up a private correspondence with Peggy Noonan and leave us out of it.’
LEAVE US OUT? I’d pay top dollar to read those longhand letters.
Any journalist who promoted the invasion of Iraq should be tried for incitement to war crimes. If I had my druthers, anyway. Not that it’s gonna happen and it’s not like evil toads like Will are going to suddenly find themselves unemployed even. Also.
Wake me when he calls for Schicklgruber’s expulsion from Poland.
George Will out of Wrigley!
You can be right retroactively, right? The important thing is to look forward. Looking back is so pre-911.
How long until the Freepers are demanding he be dragged to the town square and sodomized with a Bible?
“From today’s important iteration:”
I didn’t notice if the editor on this one was Ken, Jim or Young Riley, (I’m assuming Sarah is a sleepless zombie being ordered around by that helpless little tyrant she just gave birth to) but the fact the wonkette boss used iteration rather than reiteration means that wonkette is the most literate site on the interwebs and maybe the whole fucking universe. This is the sunshine in my gloomy day.
What’s next? Use of a reflexive pronoun properly?
Speaking of anuses, it seems Al-Qaida uses them for things other than alcohol.
Attack of the Arab Assblaster!
Why do all pseudo-conservative, wannabe-contrarian elitists all look like such stuck-up, unfun and disinteresting nerds?
They’re the intellectual equivalent of the high-school all-star/American quarterback with the bright, promising future who goes on to work the mop n bucket shift in Zorba’s adult shop private “viewing rooms”.
Except these losers reminisce to their days as captain of the debate team.
Oh, I dunno. The last time this nation trusted its military decision-making to a guy in a bow tie, Hiroshima and Nagasaki both went up in nuclear fireballs.
Good times, good times. :::sigh:::
That said, if Tucker Carlson applies for a position at DOD, I’m outa here.
Today we are all sad dominoes.
Are there no tapes of him accusing Barack Obama, who opposed the war in the first place, wanting to “cut and run?” The Republithugs are simply relentless and without honor or consistency. They all deserve to be caught in a bathroom, coming on to a five year old boy.
“the U.S. military — overextended and in need of materiel repair and mental recuperation”
Mental recuperation, that’s a nice way of putting it.
Afghanistan,Iraq, Kosovo?, Diego Garcia?, Romania? Okinawa? Where does the list end. (not to self:hope my amateur use of html worked)He Wonk-Offs search on: Cheney Palin 2012, or is it Palin Cheney 2012.
Hmmm…7 years in Iraq & half-heartedly in Afghanistan & nary a peep from George. The brown guy’s been in office 7 months & now it’s time for turncoat, America-hating cutting & running?
He’s such a quitter, that George Will! You’d think that, after his own heroic military service….What? Oh, right: he was bed-wedding draft dodger, like the rest of the chicken hawks.
Chill, George. Barry’s got it.
I’m just thankful to whoever finally slipped Will some acid… and he will be too, once he watches his first baseball game tripping! Welcome to the weird side, George. Your tie-dyed peace sign T-shirt is waiting behind the door of perception.
Paul Tardy: And Texas - when can the US pull out of Texas?
George and Lady Peg MUST begin a correspondence! Via twitter or not, they could become our Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Robert Browning, our Napoleon and Josephine, our Cheech and Chong.
Democracy may be infectuous, George, but imperialism is the vaccine. Next time, you fucking neocons ought to get together and maybe come up with some way of spreading democracy that makes its subjects like it.
Next up, “The days of Beta Max are over, lets all get on board with VHS”.
SayItWithWookies: You mean dropping bombs on people doesn’t make them love democracy and us?
Jim Newell:
“My Most Excellent Madame Peggy:
Cheers from the District of Columbia! Hopefully this letter finds both you and the “Big Apple” exceeding well.
You insouciant rascal! No sooner did I read your last missive than I was overcome with paroxysms of laughter! Alas, my sensibility requires that remind you, as my college English tutor might, that paronomasia is the lowest form of humor. You must forgive my stuffy Princeton prejudices, however. It was good enough for Shakespeare, was it not?
Now, as to the suitability of governmental administration of the vaccine for genital warts in the public schools…”
Time to LEAVE Iraq, George F.ucking Will, was there ever a time to GO? FAIL.
Is it just me, or does everyone want to punch George Will in the neck when they see him?
Paul Tardy: Okinawa? Where does the list end. (not to self:hope my amateur use of html worked)
HTML strikeout implementation: A+
Zen typo: A+
Is he posting from THE FUTURE?
This is actually easily explained: Similar to other right wingers, George Will didn’t realize that Iraq was not the Taliban-led full burqa wearing medieval country he imagined it to be, but actually a fairly modern place. The point being that once he discovered that they wear blue jeans, he wanted out. Fast.
I mean there’s plenty to do for the radical extreme right trying to occupy THIS country and fight the blue menace.
Will is out of triumph.
I think George should write a column about how, you know…George III didn’t really want war.
Tommmcatt: Man, you’ve got Will down almost as Newellishly as Newell has Noonington…
freakishlystrong: They just need to take a suggestion from South Park. Whenever you want someone to get out of anywhere, you just place a giant, wooden “t” in their front lawn for “Time to leave” and light it on fire.
I’m sure that’d go over real well with all the RICH PEOPLE living in the White House.
Paul Tardy: “Mental recuperation, that’s a nice way of putting it.”
You can take the soldiers out of Iraqganistan, but you can’t take Iraqganistan out of the soldiers
GreatOldOnesParty: 9/12 baby, 9/12. Some teabiggin’ racist will try it…
Tommmcatt: Excellent! IWOWPOL is the new LOL.
ZiPPerHEaD: There’s definitely not enough neck to go around.
We made it up as we went along, and we did a very good job.
Yeah. Post-war Germany was the deal of the century.
democracy’s infectious? what, is it like swine flu? genital herpes? pneumonic plague? if it’s infectious, how come so many people are immune to it?
or to rephrase, does george will have a single fucking clue as regards the historical roots and development of this infectious democracy he prattles on about?
The Repubs are already planning their return to office. Who wants to be the third president to slog around in Iraq and Afghanistan? When the next Republican president is elected, he’s going to want a clean slate for his own signature trillion dollar project. Since money is going to be too tight for a major social program (like, tax cuts), really the only choice is to start a glorious new war, like in Iran or Venezuela, so we have to spend the money. Yech.
Uhhh, urgent penis joke.
How can American imperialism ever be a force for good, what with our modern lax dress code?
Back in Fred Astaire’s day, we bombed the fuck outta the Japanese babies with class.
Condoleezza Rice is quite right. She says there is an enormous condescension in saying that somehow the Arab world is just not up to democracy.
Well, George Will is an expert on condescension.
freakishlystrong:
All you really have to do is shove a stick up your ass, pretend it’s 1963, and it comes naturally. Try it sometime!
Tommmcatt:
My Dearest George,
I was so very happy to receive your letter! I had just finished cutting-and-pasting a speech that Ronnie gave back in 1985 in tribute to one of the Kennedys, which comprised my entire column for the week, and was nearly overwhelmed by exhaustion from the effort. Surely, not nearly as exhausted as I would have been had I attempted to write any words of my own in a tribute to a great statesman, but very tired nonetheless. As it is, I am certain that my half-hearted attempt at remembering the man will be met with derision from the devoted few who read my column; hopefully couching it in terms of what Ronnie thought will deflect some of the anger, as we all strive to think and feel only what dear, lovely Ronnie thought and felt.
But let us not talk of such ugly things, of death and politics, and dead politicians! Why must the American media, the very public, go on and on about distasteful topics? Health care obsessions! Torture of swarthy Orientals! Why, when I was a young, corseted lady, we would never have polluted the airwaves with such vulgar speak. We would have simply spoken of how lovely the weather was, and complimented the server girls for making excellent tea. The coloreds, contrary to popular belief, are well-trained in the steeping of a loose-leaf Ceylon.
Where was I? Oh, yes, opening a bottle of liqeur from which I will pour a delicate, lead-crystal glassful of sweet, sweet surrender. Isn’t the weather lovely this time of year?
Ever Yours,
Peggy “Nancy Reagan” Noonington
not surprisingly, Defense Sec. Gates does not agree with George Will:
http://www.gotchamediablog.com/2009/09/gates-not-bailing-on-afghanistan.html
Next week’s column: Obama is a war monger!
Somebody, somewhere, is in possession of a Polaroid of George Will’s shriveled dingus.
Snookums: Actually, I’ve got good odds on them whining about how we’re STILL in Iraq (hell, my dad, while not-quite-Freeper level, is asking this), and how it’s Barry’s fault we’re doing this. They will pretend that withdrawal was their idea all along, and when the final troops leave next summer, the teabag-bearing letters being thrown away by white house interns will read “fucking finally!”
Nice elbow-jogging, George! Next week, you should write about how Obama needs to address a joint session of Congress if he really wants to get serious about passing his health care bill.
Leaving Iraq is so obvious that GEORGE BUSH signed a treaty to do just that, before he left office. Man, punditry looks easy. Is it that easy? Can’t possibly be that easy.
AnnieGetYourFun:
Hehehe. “Swarthy Orientals”. What do you want to bet she’s actually said that in the last 2 years?
When my dad was alive, every time he saw George Will’s face he would yell “Pimp!” although ometimes he would yell, “Fucking pimp!” depending on his mood.
AnnieGetYourFun: I think I just swooned in my pants. Nice, that.
Mr Blifil: After rooting around in my Polaroids, I found this:
http://www.treehugger.com/allison_worm_468px.jpg
bitchincamaro: Swooning is awesome! If I were writing for Sarah Palin, I would hope for starbursts, but with the Pegster, swooning is what I would like to aim for.
Haha! I implied that I would attempt to parody Sarah Palin;s writing, which cannot be done for many reasons, the least of which is that she is illiterate.
How about time for George Will to leave the public arena and retire?
In silence.
It breaks my heart to see George Won’t described on these pages as “smart” and “serious.” He is a pretentious dolt who couldn’t report his way out of a proverbial paper bag, and his stiff-necked behavior in social situations should never pass for seriousness. He has never stopped being the curve breaker in the classroom who was totally without street smarts on the playground — a worthless history for a journalist. He has had almost unlimited space in which to write for the last 30 years and a huge support organization at his disposal — name one major story he broke. Royko is a better columnist than George, and Mike has been dead for a long time.
lawrenceofthedesert:
irony (plural ironies)
1. A statement that, when taken in context, may actually mean the opposite of what is written literally; the use of words expressing something other than their literal intention, notably as a form of humor.
2. (colloquial) The quality or state of an event being both coincidental and contradictory in a humorous or poignant and extremely improbable way.
So now you know!
Tommmcatt: I’ve heard it said by a wise man that knowing is half of the battle.
AnnieGetYourFun:
Dear Mr. Willis:
What a beautiful day it is, here in the state of Alaska on the great Northurn road to the future. And I am honored to be writing to you, as you has been such an important and stirring voice in these, our American States, a conservative voice and an example to all! I am writing now in response, of course, to your coulmn of September the 4th, that my secretary read part of to me. where in you suggest that we, as a country and a group of brave American soldgers, should back out of Aftganistan and quit what has become our important presence there on forgin shores. Now, I have to pause now and say “What the heck?’ . What the heck, Mr. Willis? Here is one of our strong conservative Voices, and as you know it is important to be in Aftganistan becuase of the prencese there of the terrorists, and also of the forces aligned against us in neighbooring Packistan and Korea. And here you want us to quit! To quit and back down. Well I say “No”.
America expects more from you, Mr. Willis! You have been a serious and upstanding American voice since at least the origional Bush White house, the first one. Also, you write for the American Spectator, and I just have to say, “Comeon, George, get on board! You can do better than that!”
Thank you for your time and kind attention,
S. Palin
PS. You can send me money at http://www.sarahpac.com/
AnnieGetYourFun: Brilliant. I’ve been wondering how Madame will approach Kennedy’s death. Hey, did anyone notice Bushie smirking like a chimp during the funeral service?
As WE have said before, “Dawn breaks on Marblehead.” Georgie should have written this column last February so he/we could concentrate on teh besbol. Our beloved Afghan section of the great war against muslins must be stupendously wrong for him to left (not lift) his head up out of the box scores to write this wonder. Sorry, Afghan is a rainout w/ no rainchex for ya’s.
Tommmcatt: just learned a new word the other day…
“aliterate”
parse it and it describes our country to a T.
When Jeb or (Liz) finally attains their throne, I assure you those WMDs and chemical-gas trailer=trucks will be found stashed in Iran.
GreatOldOnesParty:
**SIGH***
AnnieGetYourFun: Tommmcatt: You all are killing me! Posts of the month. “Swarthy Orientals” and the random capitalization of “vocies” and the use of “comeon”? What else is there to be said? Brilliant. Tambien.
Oh, and “fuck you” George Will. Also. “Which way is the wind blowing, today” indeed. It reminds me of all of the new anti-war folks that got on board after 2004, not because they ever disagreed with the wars being contrived in the first place, but because we weren’t ‘winning’ them. So, you bug-fuckers can get off our wagon, already. You can ride your Hannibalian GOP elephant to the finish line, if you make it, at all.
Now that G-Willy’s opinion of everything is blatantly moot, is it too late to mock it some more? Well, who the hell cares if it is…
Let me get this straight: because Arabs love democracy so much, we have to make sure to pistol-whip them until they practice it correctly? How about this: the Arab world is not “not up to democracy,” it’s not up to having our collective gun stuck up its collective ass for no reason. Condescend to that, bowtie.
Or did you think maybe that we went to war with Germany and Japan because we had it on Good Authority that they were preparing to mail some envelopes full on non-dairy creamer to our congressional aides?
Oh, but of course, you were kidding. It must be one of those fancy intellectual jokes the unwashed librul masses never seem to get.
lawrenceofthedesert: Jeebus, who ever accused him of “journalism?” George F. Will and others like him may resemble journalists, but they are so clearly not journalists that the modern media had to come up with the term “pundit” to describe them. I think the word comes from something like Sanskrit, meaning “one who knows nothing about anything and therefore must inform everyone.”
No seriously, George Will has a big cock.
Being semi-literate and semi-educated I sort of understand the selfish politics of the right, the “I’m all right jack, you can get stuffed” community-mindedness that infects all self-centred narcissistic and hubristic wing nuts. Its not pretty, its not honourable, and is in fact fairly odious but it is at least a valid political stance to take.
But why are all their leaders and heroes so stupid? Is dumbass wingnut a tautology?
He IS kind of irrelevant, no?