disasters

Man, people went so insane back thenWE HATE TO BE LIKE THOSE PEOPLE WHO THINK A TEMPORARY GMAIL CRASH IS WORSE THAN HITLER & THE APOCALYPSE COMBINED BUT HONESTLY, IT’S JUST REALLY INCONVENIENT: As an actual monster once wrote, “Torture always is ugly. So, though, is the hole in the ground where the Gmail once stood.” Oh ho ho — but now it’s back up and working again? Thank you for keeping us safe, Dick Cheney!

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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37 comments

  1. WhatTheHeck

    A Temporary GMAiL crash is always good for cleaning out dirty laundry ’an pesky incriminating shit.

  2. problemwithcaring

    Thank MAGOG the AOL server is fine, so the flow of angry Wonkett hatemail and forwards about Obama’s birf certificate may continue unabated.

  3. Mr Blifil

    More and more the timeline is raising the question of why, if the torture was to prevent terrorist attacks, it seemed to happen mainly during the period when we were looking for what was essentially political information to justify the bombardment of Gmail.

  4. Mr Blifil

    Gmail down on a fine late summer day with few clouds to bother the Eastern Seaboard. If feels very 9/11.

  5. hobospacejunkie

    Gmail down? Now I know how Poland felt exactly 70 years ago today.

    The Mt. Wilson webcam (search, lazy monkeys) looks ominous. Hit refresh, it’ll produce a pic eventually.

  6. Lazy Media

    I believe a Gmail crash was predicted in the Revelation of St. John the Divine:

    12And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood;

    13And the stars of heaven fell unto the earth, even as a fig tree casteth her untimely figs, when she is shaken of a mighty wind.

    14And the heaven departed as a scroll when it is rolled together; and every mountain and island were moved out of their places.

    15And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the mighty men, and every bondman, and every free man, hid themselves in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains;

    16And said to the mountains and rocks, Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb:

    17For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand?

    Yep, that’s pretty much what happened today.

  7. Guppy06

    I was forced to actually be “productive” this morning rather than spend the time sending sexually explicit messages! I want my two hours back!

  8. wordsmoker

    Gmail was down for me all day until now which doesn’t count because it’s night now and anyway it was like losing both my legs in a helicopter crash if the helicopter was carrying a serum that could save humanity from the encroaching tide of Valley Fever that’s how bad it was until now.

  9. american mutt

    Torture always is ugly. So, though, is the hole in the ground where the Marvel comics once stood.

  10. hiphophitler

    I’m going to support our troops with a nice bourbon-over. God, I love our troops. I love our troops much more than you do.

  11. Canuckledragger

    Downing gmail was just a beta test for taking down the whole fuckin’ inertnet, which is Hopey’s next step. Then, concentration camps, because we all have short attention spans.

    WND has the real scoop on this, I’m sure…..

  12. AbstinenceOnly Ed

    Real Ammurricans are impervious to Google’s fickle service, because we have Nixon-approved GGordonLiddyMail, which breaks into your enemies’ inboxes and steals incriminating messages.

  13. AbstinenceOnly Ed

    [re=400257]Athar[/re]: Suspected al Aqsa terrorist Gmail Mohammed Gibrani, a Syrian national suspected of smuggling RPGs and emoticons to Hizbollah. His being down means no emoticons, flirting with the cute receptionist, or weapons to fire at Sderot for us militants.

  14. Quasi

    That’s what I hate about the night shift.

    Here’s another soul-crushing, civilization-ending, Armageddonish catastrophe that I’ve slept through.

  15. Politicartoons

    This was just an evil plan to justify the takeover of the internet by the Obama family. I read it on teh Twitter.

  16. LoweredPeninsula

    Wait, people actually use the Gmail?

    Gmail was down; now I know what it feels what it’s like to continue my average day, unabatted because I don’t use, nor have ever used, Gmail.

Comments are closed.