Wonkette
AND YOU THOUGHT WE WERE KIDDING ABOUT BELGIUM: No seriously they are a nation of treacherous villains, as evidenced by their “prison break problem.” Apparently dudes are constantly hijacking helicopters and using them to whisk criminals away from Belgian prisons, to the point where authorities have ordered “anti-helicopter wire netting” to put over prison yards. So the next time you get down on America, just remember that WE are not the people who have to put wire bonnets over our prisons to keep the criminals in. [GlobalPost]
They’re also big on pedophilia rings. But on the other hand, there is the beer. And the fries made from horse fat. And chocolate. And trigish-looking folks.
Plucky Belgian riff raff.
WTF!? Why would you ever break out of a Belgian prison? I bet they serve waffles every morning for breakfast. I’d totally rock that!
They’re just trying to bring in mayonnaise.
I usually have my waffles topped with butter and cane syrup. I reserve the wire netting for when I’m feeling particularly fancy, or having company over. Like you do.
I have lived in a few different countries and sampled a few different cultures, and the thought of putting ketchup on my french fries just flat out repulses me.
My kids, however, think it’s kind of a cool thing to do, being all American and exotic, such as.
Perhaps, in lieu of anti-helicopter netting, they might instead focus their efforts on limiting convict access to helicopters.
Just a thought.
Is Belgium a country? Is it in South America? And why does Belgium even have prisons? What crimes can you commit in Belgium to get you tossed into a jail?
They can’t help it. Carmen just can’t get enough of those waffles.
Belgian waffles are a fucking farce, they are served cold with thick clotted cream that will guarantee rapid onset of chest pains and strained breathing. To get a real Belgian Waffle you must go to Brooklyn, as the esteemed Jim Jarmusch once observed.
thefrontpage: There are only two crimes in Belgium, publicly insulting Belgian beer, and hijacking helicopters to break people out of prison. It is a vicious cycle.
So the next time you get down on America, just remember that WE are not the people who have to put wire bonnets over our prisons to keep the criminals in.
Damn straight. American prisoners have no opportunity to escape, because they are under constant surveillance by film crews getting footage for “real-xtreme-life-in-prison” shockumentaries… the way the Founding Fathers intended it.
Miserable fat Belgian bastards.
Happy anti-foreignism day everybody! Next up–Latvians!
Belgian waffles in the worst way?
How about with canned tuna fish, onions, chocolate chips and maple syrup?
thefrontpage: Apparently Belgium is a country. Only on Earth would we name a country after one of the most unspeakably rude words in the Universe.
MS-13 ain’t got nothing on the Walloon Kings.
Wings and Waffles are the BEST.
Start with one homemade Belgium Waffle.
Top with copius amounts of powdered sugar and syrup.
Then place one fiery hot Buffalo Chicken Wing on top.
Pour more syrup and powdered sugar on top of THAT.
If you so choose, this is the point at which you add additional hot sauce.
Eat, enjoy, call your heart doctor.
And the absolute BEST plays to go for Wings and Waffles is a place called Mama E’s in Oklahoma City.
Arriving there by helicopter is optional.
This is strange (WARNING!! SWEDES!!!):
http://www.thelocal.se/21622/20090822/
Eat your Belgian waffles with Swiss Army knives!
And get laughed at by everyone.
zenferret:
Two girls, one cup, three waffles.
Worst way EVAR!
yargisbargis: God I hate those Lat-tards!
When you’re in a Belgian prison, only two things can get you out: Charles Bronson and $25K.
Lascauxcaveman: I mean really, what do you expect from a bunch of sprouts…
Speaking of Belgians:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19fcN3VaXs4
yargisbargis: I’m all against Latvia too- or maybe not. they kicked out my grandfather(well, programs, general anti-semitism, the usual) but otherwisse I guess his offspring would have been dead in the camps,the war or lived the bad life in Russia. So hey, I love Lativa!
hockeymom: Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles Song
Tommmcatt: I surrender to the master.
It’s too bad Georges Simenon isn’t still around to write the screenplay for the Jacques Tati version of the helicopter break film starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, with a lonely, bluesy soundtrack by Toots Thielmans, the denouement taking place on top of the Atomium, and the end featuring the prisoners happily celebrating over frothy glasses of Chimay ale and snacking on mussels, endive and frites with mayo while reading aloud Herve’s “Tintin in the Congo” and chuckling to one another.
OzoneTom: “The waffle leads the fried chicken into the stomach like a sherpa”.
Best line in a song, ever.
Oh, great! Now Krugman will feel free to start insulting Belgians (”endive-sucking little bastards with waxed moustaches…”).
What do George Foreman Grills have to do with Belguim?
What a bunch of stinkin’ Eurocentric slanderers. Common criminals engaged in common crimes…meh. Why don’t you go big league? Like Paraguay, where the sitting president drives a stolen car and if you are one of the 30% of the population who actually tries to pay your taxes, chances are you’ll have to bribe the collector to get a receipt. There’s some treachery for ya. Or is it venality?
http://articles.latimes.com/2002/dec/14/world/fg-paraguay14
I was going to make a comment about Belgians but then I waffled on the idea and decided not to.
I got a great idea for a sammich. One savory belgian waffle, naughtily dipped in flemmish-style mayonnaise; topped with melty imitation swiss cheese, and nestled between two juicy hot-n-spicy breaded chicken patties.
Lascauxcaveman: Otherwise known as Phlegms
Tommmcatt:
Perhaps, in lieu of anti-helicopter netting, they might instead focus their efforts on limiting convict access to helicopters.
No, people are flying the helicopters IN, to break their comrades out.
So, the helicopter netting, in that sense, is limiting of convict access to helicopters.
I drank enough Belgian beer in Brussels once to where I wanted to get out of my own brain the next morning, and for several days afterwards, but luckily the netting’s built-in in that case.
Yes….now I DO want waffles….damn you
liquiddaddy:
Blech.
No, that’s one thing about Belgium, if you’ve ever had a hot Belgian Gaufre just made for you at a stand and walk down the street with it in the dead of winter, with brown sugar crusted and caramely all through it……. I don’t know you spell that gurgling sound that Homer Simpson makes (when something deserves even more than a “mmmmm”) but I’m making it here.
hockeymom:
That is offensive to the lining of my stomach.
Tommmcatt: If you outlaw helicopters, then only outlaws will have helicopters!
binarian: I’d rather eat waffles than join Twitter.
If Belgium needs money, all it has to do is make with the forced buttsex with the Congo again. They’re used to it.
He wanted to get a Chimay®, the best beer in the world.
And Charlie, they’re our next door neighbors and you can actually see Belgium from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska. We have trade missions back and forth, we do. It’s very important when you consider even national security issues with Belgium. As waffles rear their heads and come into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go for syrup? It’s Alaska.
Belgium has universal health care.
In Belgium the criminals control the skies.
Conclusion: If ObamaCare passes, Americans will be forced to eat waffles and speak French.
– Chuck Grassley
Now is Belgium Holland, or is it the other one?
I once tried learning Flemish, until I discovered the was no such place as Flemland.
Actually, waffles is only half of it. Let’s not forget the mussels and fries, which permeate the city and its inhabitants with that day-old scent of white wine, shellfish and fry oil…
finallyhappy: Perhaps your grandfather’s problem in Latvia was pogroms rather than programs. Just a thought.
hobospacejunkie: No it was pomegranates. Wherever he went in Belgium, they said “Hey big nose!” and they threw them at him. Belgians can be so cruel.
thehelveticascenario: As “Dutch” Regan used to say, “Well….”
You see, I think there’s a simple solution here. Belgium should import “Mr. toss the salad man” from Rikers Island. Any escapee’s would be forced to toss the salad, that should really cut down on these escapes.
S.Luggo:
Well done. There’s gotta be a black helicopter tie in here too..
Wait, “black”? Well, there you go.
hobospacejunkie: You ever seen Latvian TV?
Cape Clod: I once tried learning Flemish, until I discovered the was no such place as Flemland.
It’s actually Flanders. You know - next door.
The language is called “Flamand” in French, so really you weren’t too far off.
yargisbargis: (making the gurgling sound again…)
I lurve those. I actually wish it were winter just so I could have some right now.
Thanks. Now I want Belgian waffles.
Uncertainty Vice-Principal: and waterzooi……
“waterzooi, waterzooi, morne plat…”–Asterix
Uncertainty Vice-Principal: Oh quit being such a Flamand queen.
user-of-owls: I was actually trying to make that flamand/flaming joke earlier and decided it didn’t work.
Not that, er, you know. Well done.
Uncertainty Vice-Principal: Oh yes. That place where everyone greets each other with a “Hey-diddly-high, neighborino!”
Belgium won’t exist in a couple of years because the Dutch-speakers will finally go to open war with the French-speakers, so that will put paid to that threat.
finallyhappy: The ghosts of my ancestors are silent on the topic of Latvia and I loves me some black balsams and chocolate, so viva la Latvia!
doloras: Yeah, but whose side are the South Moluccans on?
Uncertainty Vice-Principal: Ironically, that same sound is required to pronounce, “Gaufre.”
they also do very good french fries. better than the french. and without the attitude.
I think we can safely assume that pols in Belgium are at least as crooked and perverted as in the USA.
user-of-owls: Re: Paraguay, cf. Graham Greene, Travels with My Aunt.
facehead: That is one of the most cheerful clots of headlines I’ve seen in a long time. Swedish pancakes smothered in gonorrhea and chlamydia…. Washed down with Belgian beer.
Please tell me one of you didn’t write the lone comment on the GlobalPost story:
“I am sure that these helecopter escapes will cease forthwith.”
I’d like to know people who talk like this still exist.
Off subject, but, really, how much do the Belgians (the Walloons, of course) viscerally hate the Dutch? It must be something ridiculous.
The problem only occurs when the Cable TV goes on the fritz, and even then, only during the football season.