Wonkette
YES! Here is your Barack Obama giving the “most muslin speech ever” by wishing the terrorists “Ramadan Kareem” on “behalf of the American people, including Muslim communities in all 50 states.” (”Ramadan Kareem” means “Merry Starvation Christmas,” in Mexican.) Then he explains Muslim culture for a while. Fifty million white grandmothers in America are opening their forwarded e-mails for the day right now and freaking the fuck out.
We kind of tuned out after the first couple of minutes, because, as usual, he rambles into a vague campaign speech about health care and the economy and whatever other liberal codswallop he loves so much.
During the boring second half, we were concentrating on something much more important than his babble: the unscrubbed comments from this official White House YouTube page.
- nobama is more muslim than Christian. That is so obvious! Muslims kill people! nobama kills babies and wants to use our tax dollars to do it! Christians need to start standing up for their rights. We are being stomped on all over the place because we are taught to be kind and compassionate and to turn the other cheek. Well, look what that has gotten us. Muslims caused 9/11 and countless other millions of deaths! Someone needs to teach THEM to be peaceful but until then, we won’t get along!
- Jesus is the only way….only Jesus save
- Ramalama-ding dong.
Let’s just stop there. You can’t beat “Ramalama-ding dong” as a comment for this video.
Obama Wishes ‘Ramadan Kareem’ to Muslims [Washington Post]
President Obama Gives Ramadan Message [YouTube]
Plucky Muslims.
Are burkas mandated in ObamaCare???
first
JESUS SAVES WHEN HE IS SHOPPING AT WALMART.
When will he ever acknowledge the atheists holy days? It’s so unfair, not having any gods.
The plug pulling can’t start soon enough.
Muslin? I thought he was secretly practicing Santeria… or was that he drinks sangria, which means blood, which is the same thing as Santeria, and Islam.
God, the freepers have my head spinning that I just don’t know what kooky religion he follows. Maybe he is secretly a Moonie, which is why Clinton went to North Korea!
“…including my own Chirstian faith…”
I think it’s cute he is still trying…
How about “Ramalama ram it up your ass, racist, ignorant fuck”?
Paid for by the Republican National Committee.
the problem child: enjoy an apostrophe with that s
Furthermore, bitchaslapa ding-dong as well. Also.
“Just for the record, I wish all Muslem’s a happy Ramadan.” — YouTuber
Is Muslem’s a regional fast food franchise of which I have not yet heard? Please bring it to the Midwest — I bet the food is veggie-friendly and heart-healthy!
Ah, Ramadan — when even Iraqi Sunnis and Shias live in peace and harmony. Ha ha, just kidding — keep blowing shit up, guys.
Was he speaking Black Witch in that video address?
Rodney Badger: DEAF PANELZ!!1
liberal codswallop ftw.
well done, newell.
spacecadetjoe: I’m Michael Ware and you’re Joe Burkett and Lara Logan will love-me-long-time now.
Hitler gave this same address in 1938! It’s true!
shortsshortsshorts: Jesus doesn’t shop at Wal-Mart because it sells organsmic vegetables to the dirty fucking hippies and supports the public option.
assistant/atlas: We’re having codswallop for dinner tonight- it is Friday and although we are Jewish ,we respect those Catholics who still observe the fish on Friday requirement
Ramadan Kareem really mean, “Shoot the skyhook!” Something famed a Buddhist named Phil often said to Lewis Alcindor. So Obama is a secret Buddist too!
I think he should actually make a video every friday that just infuriates middle America. Next week he should explain how to use a dental dam.
I didn’t make it through the whole video. Does he blow himself up at the end?
Muslin, Jesus, Karl Marx, Robert Smith from the Cure, Satan, Hitler, Witchdoctor,etc . Can’t the crazies just pick a lane for fucks sake ?
there’s just no quelling this barry fellow. not only does he insist on repeatedly sticking the knife in, then he twists it
and twists it again
like he did last summer
with such cool and rational aplomb. we’ve gone through the looking-glass, all right, cuzz here’s no way this man could be president of the same america that gave us smirky monkey, devil dick, and babble spass. my reality is stretched to the breaking point.
Rodney Badger: Orgasmic vegetables? You mean like… cucumbers?
I’m not quite sure what it means, but YouTube listed episode 25 of Peach Girl under “related videos.” Better watch out, Obama! Sae’s going to sabotage health care behind your back!
Mexican is a fascinating and flexible language.
Jesus celebrates Ramadan with a big ham dinner.
GIJoeIce: I assume you mean other than for dentistry.
the problem child: Apostrophy, check. Apostasy, check.
If you play this clip backwards, you can clearly hear Obama say “Jihad will commence in one month.”
Rama-looma-wha?
If you play it backwards you can hear grandma’s voodoo chants.
Godot: Yes, they are part of the pubic option.
NoWireHangers: No, Larry Sinclair does.
Snarkalicious: yours was better.
Ramadama-Ding-Dong: A secret muslin carcinogenic chocolate snack cake, made by Little Debbie for the Saudi market.
my fave comment so far: from ACM3140
“I have no interest in being mindful when it comes to defending my country! This man ignored the nat’l day of prayer & told your people that we are not a Christian nation! We ARE! He is NOT! I’m sick of hearing about muslims & all thier crap! They are killing people & I don’t give a damn about ‘history’. It’s here & now that I’m concerned about! How dare you two call ME ignorant! I am VERY well educated and will speak my opinion whenever I want! What are you going to do about it? Mercy killing??”
ACM? a clinical mental? always clanging metals?
flyingspaghettimonster: Anti Carpet Munchers?
Obamaramalamadamadingdong.
GIJoeIce: And maybe end each message with OBAMAHU AKBAR, Red-state muthafuckas!
”Ramadan Kareem” actually means ‘i am a dining room table’
nobama is more muslim than Christian…
That first comment is like a precious, multifaceted diamond of pure insanity. A line by line analysis/commentary/rebuttal of it could probably fill an entire book.
Muslinism + Santeria = Kareem of Chicken Soup
When we elected a mixed-race president who could drain 3-pointers, has a gorgeous wife, grew up in Hawaii and smokes, the one thing we’d never have expected was that he could be so boring. Not that anyone wants Bring-it-on Chimpy back.
azw88: It’s actually “sanateria” meaning he always puts the seat up when he pees.
Mahousu: In Episode 25, Peach Girl faces East and uses Santeria to make an organsmic birth certificate. Rama-dama-aloha.
OH GREAT! Now I get to get a panicked e-mail from my in-laws, and when I try to have a normal conversation they will keep bringing this shit up, and then they will INSIST that I view the evidence…fuck you Barry, you have RUINED my day, maybe even my mounth!
SayItWithWookies: Yes, but during Ramadan they only blow shit up at night. It’s the rules.
Rahm, a Don?
Sort of, actually.
The nerve of this guy, trying to respect people’s freedom of religion. Who does he think he is - Thomas Jefferson?
flyingspaghettimonster: Ramen, my Brother.
As to the poster, very well educated means homeschooled by a Jeebus lovin Mom until age 15.
I just found out today that during the year of Ramadan, Muslins are not allowed to eat, drink, burp, fart, pee, breathe, or have sexual relations during daylight hours. I, for one, couldn’t do it. I just can’t believe our fake president can conduct his normal diplomatic duties under those strictures.
IF HE CANNOT FULFILL THE DUTIES OF HIS JOB THEN HE SHOULD STEP DOWN!!!!1!
Oh my god, he knows what Muslin is, he must be one! Where’s he hiding his turban and his taxi cab?
flyingspaghettimonster: ACM = Association for Computing Machinery (and associated whackjobs).
WWFD? (What would Frodo do?)
No, Cthulhu also saves…for later.
This video is part of Obama’s “Reach Out and Say, ‘Fuck You’ to the Wingnuts of America” program. As a birth-certificate-challenged American, I heartily applaud.
GIJoeIce: Dear Diorama: NoWireHangers: +1 x 3
p.s. boycott Ramada Inn! we’ve got your backside, Glenn!!!1! argle bargle!!!!
flyingspaghettimonster: ACM3140 sounds like Yosemite Sam.
It is a coded CIA message — pirates in Somalia beware! All that Ramadan daily fasting and binging — no wonder it’s the official holiday of jockeys, boxers and fashion models (who sometimes model Jockeys or boxers). And why fundamentalist mullahs invariably look like Oscar the Grouch. I guess after a day of fasting, even a Ramadan Ding Dong tastes good, though I’d rather have of those nuked packets of tiny chocolate donuts that have finely aged on a gas station shelf. (Have the food technicians tested the new administration for mouth feel?)
NoWireHangers: No, but he does ululate and then prostrate himself towards Mecca.
Always love the “Christians” who say they aren’t gonna turn the other cheek anymore, rejecting the teachings of Jesus himself. But, as noted before, most of these wingers actually worship Jesus’s evil twin Jebus, who responds to Muslin provacations with smart bombs and the 82nd Airborne.
In Matt. 18:21-22, when asked how many time a sinner should be forgiven, Jesus states “seventy times seven,” a total of 490 acts of forgiveness. If we take the Bible literally, as so much of the wingers do, then the Christian Nation of the United States still owes the Muslins forgiveness for an additional 489 9/11s or an additional 486 crashed airplanes depending on how you tally the sin(s) of 9/11.
(Some Bible translations say “77 times,” but that still leaves forgiveness owed for 76 9/11s or 73 additional hijacked airplanes.)
Ramadan?
You mean, someone has a RELIGIOUS holiday to celebrate those little packets of Japanese noodles?
I don’t mean to be rude (or rather, any ruder than usual): But that’s just STUPID.
Now, Sushi-dan Day might make some sense.
Or Twelfth Tempura’s Night.
Or even Sukiyaki Sun . . .
What?
Oh.
Never mind.
flyingspaghettimonster: Abortion Case Made
!
the problem child: He did mention nonbelievers in his inauguration speech. Since then we get nothing.
Redhead: Muslims do not wear turbans. They are worn by Sikhs. An off shoot of the Hindu religion.
I don’t know what to think about this until Sarah Palin puts something up on her Facebook page.
sezme: I think you’re right! He’s deliberately stirring them up. The guy could have made a good lion tamer.
This could be a clever strategy to isolate the 29%ers.
But also I am going to have to visit with my insane inlaws next month. I just hope they haven’t gotten ahold of any ammonium nitrate.
Well, I’m agog. And a MA-gog.
Ramadan–isn’t that when they starve themselves for a month? Now’s the time to hit ‘em, when they’re weak!
Still trying to educate the ignorant masses, eh, Barry? That horse is dead. Put down the stick.
The Cold Sea:
ACM3140 sounds like Yosemite Sam.
But he says he’s VERY well educated.
I don’t know about ol’ Sam, but anyone who is VERY well edumacated, is probably right to be concerned about Barry ignoring the nat’l day of prayer. I mean, sure, so what, but it’s the principle dammit. Well, something or other. Maybe it’s time for a drink. Suppose Barry were to ignore happy hour? I’ll try to pick up the slack.
flyingspaghettimonster: “I’m sick of hearing about Muslims and all their crap!” —I dunno I just find this to be a very balanced and cogent argument for impeachment—am I the only one who gets it?
My dining room table told me NObama is more like Hitler — Christian — than muslin. Now what will I think? Must check in with Glenn Beck…ahhhh vacation!!!(?) CONFUSION.
GIJoeIce: Win!
snideinplainsight: Yea my ex-boyfriend would feel guilty if he swallowed too much of his own saliva and would be dying to eat something by sundown. But then ironically, that was usually my adulterous vag.
Shockingly, observant Muslins are just as hypocritical as Jeebus-lovers.
I
gurukalehuru: Don’t be hesitant– we won’t bite!
“Aasalaamu Aleikum and thank for you calling the White House Retirement Support Line, where we can assist you ‘going home.’ Please stay on the line and press 1 to hear our classical Beethoven medley, or press 2 for Lawrence Welk. Counselors will be at your door promptly to begin the process. We ask you greet them politely, since chair restraints are not covered in your policy. Allahu Akbar.”
In case anyone needs something to email back to their crazy in-laws:
http://www.voanews.com/english/archive/2007-10/2007-10-05-voa1.cfm?renderforprint=1&textonly=1&&TEXTMODE=1&CFID=281842883&CFTOKEN=33640131&jsessionid=6630ff97e8369d6c123c3818d464837764a5
I’m impressed. I still am pissed off at him for not throwing any bushtards in jail, and for the life of me can’t understand why he still tolerates that insufferable prick Grassley, but I never again will say that he lacks balls.
Because that speech took balls.
Bottom line, any religion where people do not stuff their pie-holes with seared strips of pork and processed cheese food products every 30 minutes of every waking hour forever is considered a threat to the survival of the republic.
qwerty42: ACM3140 has crafted a dissonant stream-of-consicousness like no other:
I don’t give a damn about ‘history’ … How dare you two call ME ignorant … I am VERY well educated
That’s just awesome.
Huh, we always used to say “Ramadan mubarak”.
the problem child: Grammar Nazi! Elitist educated lib…
Oh wait, I see. Carry on then.
twowheeljunkie: Well, seeing as Obama is a Socialist and seeing that Socialists don’t believe in Jeebus, his entire administration is made up of and mainly for the benefit of nonbelievers. Therefore, instead of giving nonbelievers a YouTube shout out, he’s giving them abortions and free health care.
gurukalehuru: Indeed. He’s willing to lose popularity among American voters in order to help stabilize the international situation. My faith in Obama has been renewed.
I had no idea he was a Muslim. Why didn’t anybody warn us?
Lil Kim Jong Il: win
“… Wesleyan Methodist Eastern Rite Reformed Convention of 1914 or Wesleyan Methodist Eastern Rite Reformed Council of 1928″, and he said “Wesleyan Methodist Eastern Rite Reformed Council of 1928″, and so I shouted “DIE, HERETIC!” and then I pushed him off the bridge.
GIJoeIce: GIJoeIce: Win
Let us go door-to-door and ring bells and make it ‘Ring-a-ding for Ramadan’.
Les Paultard: A Muslin half-breed- get it right, please!
New Wave Phlebotomist: ACM3140 has crafted a dissonant stream-of-consciousness like no other:…
When will he write The Red Badge of TruckNutz?
masterdebater: Longform: i have transcended that mundane plane of existence wherein i was able to have any sort of rational conversation with my family, in-laws, out-laws, or other-laws. they are all squeezing their bibles to death in between bouts of frantically cleaning their guns, hopelessly convinced that barry is the antichrist and creaming their jeans over their anticipated armageddon. the only one i can talk to is my spawn, whom i had the good sense and foresight to raise as a nazi-commie-socialist-muslin-kenyan, anticipating during 1990s midnight bull sessions with the prince of darkness that that might be the coming thing.
AnnieGetYourFun: “Dirka dirka jihad”
—That’s what the middle eastern bad guys say in Team America
Nobody ever told me what Jesus saves, is it coupons? Playboy magazines? or Microsoft word/excel? Forgetting to save can be a pain at times. Maybe he saves baby seals or polar bears.
Ramalama-ding dong … Do the hand jive!
I love how they say you are taught to be compassionate and to turn the other cheek- BUT THAT IS OVER NOW! Yes, becoming less Christian is the more Christian way to be! HA
Well, azw88, Mama Robinson has put a curse on me so I can’t reply directly (clicky is not clicking properly on your comment and ONLY your comment), but ANYWAY, come to the KFC at the corner of Western and Pratt on Chicago’s north side, it is hallal. (They’re everywhere. Actually, in Rogers Park that’s pretty much literally true.)
Smoke Filled Roommate: That made me laugh far more than any of the smart-ass Wonkette remarks for some reason..
JESUS SAVES SOULS!
And redeems them for valuable prizes!
azw88: Someone should start a rumor that Obama is Asatru, that would really wig people out. Particularly the (despised by most Asatru) white power offshoot of that religion.
house of the blue lights: I have the same issue trying to Reply to Kim Jong il’s comment. (kareem of chiken soup). Seems the curse has affected Java, which means coffee, which is something important to many muslins. Obama’s witchdoctor-in-law is hard at work on WOnkette, peeps
Les Paultard: Whoa ho hoooooaaa… you should have worked in my office in Dallas during last year’s election season. Old Man Billy weren’t afraid to tell everyone in Cubicleville every day that Barry was a no-good Muslim coon consarn it.
Then Dallas County voted Obama. THE ARISTROCRATS.
twowheeljunkie: but what about muslins? what do they wear? And I mean all those dark-skinned santeria-muslin-voodoo-commie-hedonist jebus-haters all look the same anyway.
New Wave Phlebotomist: Odd…when i first read your name it hit my brain as “New Wave Phrenologist”
If you want to REALLY upset the Freeper in your home or office, let him/her watch your fingers type this into the Google Machine: Bush Ramadan 2006 (the exact year doesn’t much matter)- the magical intertubes will instantly produce GWB’s warm holiday greetings to Muslims in America and around the world, blah blah blah. It is guaranteed to produce a facial expression which you’ll not soon forget. I tried it just now! Trust me, mirth & delight will ensue: for YOU, that is…
widget09: Nah. People have been getting that bit wrong for a couple millennia. The translation should have been “Jesus redeems sinners … for valuable cash prizes,” but latter half appears to have been munged by some medieval shut-in monk for reasons known only to Allah.
And to the worshippers of Kali, have a happy human sacrifice.
widget09: No, Jesus hates polar bears. Sarah Palin told me that. Also, baby seals.
Unlike Tim McVeigh and Hitler and Stalin — combined — Muslins are the truly violent. Just ask Oklahomans, Jew, and Jews/Russians/andespeciallyUkrainians respectively.
Yeah. Only Muslins kill other human beings. And the Dutch.
PrairiePossum: You mean, exactly how our Jewish friends celebrate Passover?
jbd: Tim McVeigh and Hitler and Stalin”
If McVeigh came back and said the same shit he did before he bombed the Murrah Building, he could get elected to the US Senate in the asshat stupid state. The irony of the bombing was that he probably blew up people who pretty much agreed with his view of government. Esp. the old fucks who hate socialist governments and were there to sign up for their social security.
Really–If I wanted to spend some hours in mental filth, I could collect Tim’s various quotes and shit and send them out in an email and morans would absolutely agree. My husband and I have joked about doing that, then doing a follow up that explains, “Oh, yeah. That’s all from the domestic, white, Christian, blue eyed, blond haired, conservative, veteran who, from 9:01 AM to 9:10 AM on April 19, 1995, killed 168 of you and destroyed the lives of many others.
Then again, these are the people who elected a wholly-owned subsidiary of the energy companies to one senate seat and a spook who doesn’t give a shit about the environment or anyone’s health because he expects to be raptured up any moment to the other.
Why the sour mood, Dusty? Oh, I’ve been doing hard labor in the gardens in our too many array of various flower and berry beds and have yet to prepare my fucking Sunday School lesson. Hey–If I belonged to the prez voodoo mosque, would I not have to teach Sunday School anymore? I could really get behind that.
flyingspaghettimonster: “What are you going to do about it? Mercy killing??””
How much money could the wonkeratti raise for DFA if we raffled off the right to be the one who pulls the trigger on this moran?
Idea–If the Democrats pass Health Reform with no Repug votes, does that the DNC gets to decide who goes before the Death Panels? Is that what that evil gleam in Howard Dean’s eyes mean?
So now wouldn’t be the best time to open that 24-hr. Mexican food drive-thru in Riyadh, right?
Blah, blah, blah, Ramadan, and not one word about Ganesha? Racist bastard. What does he have against the elephant-headed? (Oh… right.)
I thought Ramadan Kareem was the secret sauce Mama used on her roasted manatee.
So where was he on the national day of prayer? Is he going to wish the Jews good luck on all there holy days and feasts - Purim - Passover - feast of booths etc that would be nice … what about Hindus and all other religions - he messed up on ABC and said he is Muslim http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKGdkqfBICw - now I bleieve it for sure
on2u: Is that snark or tard? It’s tough to tell some days…
I must say - I’ve never seen Obama with so much spark in his eye as during this speech - I think it was joy, yes joy, in his eyes.