• May 27, 2012

Gaffey Joe For Prez In 2016?

by Sara K. Smith  12:16 pm August 19, 2009

Whoa hey wait a minuteHere we have a pretty normal news analysis of Joe Biden: he’s described as frank but endearing, a clown but a statesman, maybe less visible than other Obama staffers but nonetheless a valued member of the team, etc etc… SNOOZE. But! “Aides said he might go for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2016. He would be 74 upon taking office, but his staff insists that’s not too old.” Well, shucks! As long as his paid employees give him the (anonymous) go-ahead, then everything should be fine. Remember how America just elected the 72-year-old John McCain its oldest president ever? Exactly. [Los Angeles Times]

{ 43 comments }

facehead August 19, 2009 at 12:22 pm

Sara …

Once you go black …

Come here a minute August 19, 2009 at 12:24 pm

McCain didn’t fail because he was old; he failed because he was gaffey. America loves septuagenarian cancer survivors, but not gaffey ones for president. Unless maybe he picked a hot governor for a running mate. Granholm? Then he’d win for sure.

orange August 19, 2009 at 12:24 pm

He’s just on the ticket to secure Delaware’s EVs.

Godless Liberal August 19, 2009 at 12:25 pm

He’ll have to fend off a sprightly Hillary Clinton, who will be only 69 years young in 2016.

Anonymous Office Zombie August 19, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Aides said he might go for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2016. He would be 74 upon taking office, but his staff insists that’s not too old.”

Not if the Death Panels have anything to say about it, Mr. Biden.

Kenneth the NBC Governor August 19, 2009 at 12:28 pm

Come Here a Minute:

See, the problem with that is Granhold was born a ferner f’realz. Canada…which is almost as bad as Kenya.

Roger3815 August 19, 2009 at 12:28 pm

Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kenneth the NBC Governor August 19, 2009 at 12:28 pm

Granholm. Jesus I can’t type today.

SayItWithWookies August 19, 2009 at 12:30 pm

This is why they don’t let him come up with ideas on his own.

hobospacejunkie August 19, 2009 at 12:31 pm

I thought we just learned this lesson a few posts back. NO AARP MEMBERS FOR PRESIDENT EVER AGAIN. At least not for their first terms. Our next prez is gonna be someone like Anthony Weiner. We just got our first black, now it’s time for a Jew. And an even hotter First Lady.

Don Juanquete August 19, 2009 at 12:33 pm

I literally don’t think this is a good idea.

JooJoo Bee August 19, 2009 at 12:33 pm

Oh that Joe. He’s such a card.

Gorillionaire August 19, 2009 at 12:34 pm

What’s the big deal? Haven’t you seen that 95 year old woman water skiing in the V8 commercial? It’s awesome!

MARCdMan August 19, 2009 at 12:34 pm

Relax everyone. Gaffey Joe won’t even be on the ticket in 2012.

V572625694 August 19, 2009 at 12:34 pm

[re=390466]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Right, just NRA members. And Jeebus-lovers.

freakishlystrong August 19, 2009 at 12:37 pm

[re=390466]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Or, God Forbid, A.S.A members- Assinine Senior Asshats.

bumfug August 19, 2009 at 12:37 pm

Last thing Don Hewitt said was, “Give the kid a chance!”

iolanthe August 19, 2009 at 12:39 pm

Sorry. I hate that asshole. He brought us the R.A.V.E. Act, which was pretty obviously a shitty idea and close to Unconstitutional (property owners could be fined $10 million if they hosted events at which drugs were used.)

Despite several trips through the House, the R.A.V.E. act did not pass until this shithell stuck it on to the Amber Alert bill. I remember writing to my fantastically liberal Congresswoman and getting a letter back demanding to know why I don’t care about abducted children.

Sigh.

The Good News: The fucking R.A.V.E. Act was just the kind of “We Democrats can be Tough on Crime, Too-oo!” crap we all knew it was, and it’s never been enforced, to my knowledge, although it *did* help stupid little rural PDs get Big Bucks for helicopters and night-vision goggles so they could perform the police’s most important function: bust up parties the kids are having up in the hills.

Double sigh.

The Station Manager August 19, 2009 at 12:42 pm

Well, at least nobody could ever accuse him of using evil, gay teleprommmmters, because, as everyone knows, Joe never says anything on purpose, ever.

shadowMark August 19, 2009 at 12:42 pm

he’s described as frank but endearing, a clown — He may be a clown but is he willing to step it up a notch and become the Joker?

norbizness August 19, 2009 at 12:44 pm

Unless credit card companies somehow gain the franchise, it ain’t happenin’.

slappypaddy August 19, 2009 at 12:45 pm

too old. sorry. next, please.

the problem child August 19, 2009 at 12:47 pm

Sorry, Joe, you are an endless source of entertainment, which is what what we look for in a VP candidate (of course), but not so much for Preznints.

Min August 19, 2009 at 12:56 pm

Say it ain’t so, Joe.

WadISay August 19, 2009 at 12:56 pm

[re=390475]MARCdMan[/re]: Exactly. I predict that in 2011 Joe will discover that he needs to spend more time with his family; then Hillary will join the ticket so she can spend less time with her’s.

god.was.stingy August 19, 2009 at 12:57 pm

Fools. Everyone knows Joe Biden will be killed by death panels in 2014.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 19, 2009 at 12:59 pm

[re=390466]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Barney Frank, then? I’m sure one of his boyfriends would be a HAWT FLOTUS.

Snarkalicious August 19, 2009 at 12:59 pm

At first I was all like “Rick Flair is a Senator? Rad!” and then I was all like “Joe + Senile + Preznit? Chernobyl!” and now I’m all like “Rick Flair for Preznit! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

dum librul August 19, 2009 at 1:06 pm

Meg McCabe/Trig in 2012!

Norbert August 19, 2009 at 1:15 pm

Wake up sheeple! That means you Axelrod. Take Joe off the chain. Let him go bananas. Ape-shit. He will get off some zingers like Barney Frank that we can all enjoy. Second, some crazy stuff that tumbles out might purely randomly make a good deal of sense to the general crazies and he might seem like one of them — passionate and incoherent. Finally, there is another brand of more sinister crazies who might put two and two together and realize that if any harm should come to Hopey, they get Biden (which is why he should start making speeches in favor of death panels, pledging allegiance to the Vatican, and threatening to ban soda, etc.)

Carrie_Okie August 19, 2009 at 1:15 pm

Biden/Harris

GaffnTitty2016

Cape Clod August 19, 2009 at 1:16 pm

God, are you kidding me? His press conferences would be longer than Phish concerts.

dum librul August 19, 2009 at 1:31 pm

Gaffey Joe isn’t going to be on the 2012 ticket. It’ll be Hopey and Hillary to set her up for 2016. Or maybe I just really want to see if the PUMAs will cut off their nose to spite their face.

slappypaddy August 19, 2009 at 2:05 pm

[re=390554]dum librul[/re]: the hills is still toxic. she’d a-lost it for the dems in 2008, and she will never lose that high-jinxing power. that she didn’t seem to realize this in times past speaks ill of her judgment.

Cicada August 19, 2009 at 2:15 pm

[re=390496]shadowMark[/re]: Ha!

dum librul August 19, 2009 at 2:20 pm

[re=390577]slappypaddy[/re]: You could be right, but first I want to know what her husband, the former Presnit, thinks about Hillary running in ’12/’16.

finallyhappy August 19, 2009 at 2:24 pm

I’m planning on Corey Booker myself.

President Beeblebrox August 19, 2009 at 2:45 pm

[re=390466]hobospacejunkie[/re]: How about a hot black Jewish lady for Prez in 2016?

Um… hot black ladies, yes, plenty of them. (Malia/Ashley Biden ’16!)

Hot Jewish ladies, yes, ditto.

But I’m having trouble drawing a Venn diagram that includes all three groups.

chascates August 19, 2009 at 3:30 pm

Joe’s a nice guy but I’d just as soon trade him right now for another vice-president. And he should just think of a teaching gig. He can joke and chatter away and never make the news that way.

Snarkalicious August 19, 2009 at 3:31 pm

[re=390622]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Drop a category and compensate by running a drag queen (Ru Paul, what WHAT!) as veep.

dum librul August 19, 2009 at 3:47 pm

[re=390719]Snarkalicious[/re]: Ru/Rand Paul 2012!

Buttery1000 August 19, 2009 at 8:47 pm

7-Eleven employees for Biden!

Don Juanquete August 20, 2009 at 5:39 am

[re=391140]Buttery1000[/re]: Only ones with Indian accents, literally.

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