Wonkette
Not even the standard American grocery store is safe from do-gooder produce fanatic Barack Obama and his “town halls,” which now apparently take place at the only non-drive-thru buildings where the Citizens can be expected to show up with any regularity.
According to White House photographer Pete Souza’s official Tumblr on Flickr.com, Obama wasn’t really shrunken down and then inserted between the produce bins at the Kroger’s supermarket in Bristol, Virginia. Instead, presumptuously fit & trim President Barry is lecturing some trolls who wandered into the vegetable & fruit section after being told there was a donut giveaway.
And then, after all the retired trolls on the Medicare waved their troll guns at the scary black man and ran back to their double-wides, Barack Obama took the “public option” and ate this peach (or nectarine) and then wiped his hands on the neck of an Old Person, “accidentally” strangling the teabagger in the process. Death Panels can happen anywhere! [White House Flickr]
The Anti-Christ eats the forbidden fruit.
I see the “value” grapefruit are the size of lemons. And I also see that Obama has a “thing” for white peaches. (Same as in that White House photo.)
Obama comes into a room: “Where all the white peaches at?”
obligatory arugula joke.
Mahousu: he does clean up after a weekly cross burning.
The important bit is that Kroger’s has Clementines for $4.99/box.
bignutz2: Yeah. Fuck YOU, Whole Foods!
Seriously, a black guy just picks a peach out of the bin at Krogers in Bristol VA and starts to eat it?
They have a word for that in Bittertown, it’s called shoplifting. The Secret Service should be grateful that Sheriff Bubba T. Shitekicker was otherwise disposed at “Mama Chu-Chus Bang Bang Room and Fapatorium” up on 83 err he’da done justice to our Nigerien Overlord.
“excuse me, can I use your situation room”?
They only photographed him with the fruit, because all the vegetables were being euthanized. Thanks for saving us money, Barry!
The most amazing thing is that Ken posted at 7:39 AM. Ha, ha, it’s a joke- please don’t say “FU, you’re banned” now.
finallyhappy: Had you added “Also.” at the end, you’d have been banned.
ProfessorJukes: Nobama’s death panels will conclude that vegetables are too expensive to keep alive.
But at least he didn’t try to kill a perfectly healthy mother like some people.
Where the fuck are clementines $4.99 a pound?!?!
Scott-san: Also.
MathewBrooks: They’re out of season now. Don’t bother. Unless you like illegal immigrant South American clementines.
Anyway, we need a Deep Thought:
As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn’t a nectarine at all, but a HUMAN HEAD!!
ProfessorJukes: Matt Yglesias shops there. He likes fruits and vegetables that come in shapes that give him pleasure: bananas, cucumbers, zucchini, eggplants. The fun ones your Mom used to warn you about.
No wonder Obamacare is in trouble. Doesn’t he know that REAL US AMERIKUNs don’t eat fucking fruits and vegetables?
Whole Foods is a better store for fruits. And bags of dicks.
Oh shit, goodbye shitty job! I am howling and reading aloud and getting strange-ass looks…help!
Damn, even standing in the produce section, Barry is smooth.
ManchuCandidate: Did you read the interview with the head of the Cleveland Clinic in the NYTimes Magazine this weekend? They won’t hire smokers, because smoking causes all sorts of health problems the clinic is trying to do away with….and then he said if he had his way, he wouldn’t hire fat people either. So put down that snickers bar people, and pick up a nectarine. Do it for your job!
ManchuCandidate: Let them eat Ketchup as a vegetable. A famous ‘Merican once said. Freedom fries too. them is also a vegetable. Too.
No applesauce falling off the shelves?
Terry: Clean-up in aisle 3, indeed.
Just like any other town hall forum … our Preznit meeting with a bunch of fruits.
caption for top pic: “Not only are nectarines healthy, but you can use them to make a spectacular nectarine-garlic-basil reduction. With talapia, it’s just out of this world!”
No “Oxford Style” debates at Kroger’s?
Jesus H., he ate a piece of fruit without washing it first? Gag. Why not just lick the floor, Barry? And I certainly hope you paid for that fruit, young man.
Terry: Barry Smoothie?
I love the fact that my favorite group of libtards can make giving a speech in the produce section both funny and normal, like “just cold lampin’in aisle 1, talkin to my peeps.”
BadKitty: Yes, especially in Bristol, Tennessee- I’m thinking you can catch the stupid from things those people touch.
None of them prices look that “low” to me. 49 cents a pound is LOW. $4.99 a pound is HIGH! It also means you’re going to have a lot of rotten fruit to throw out ’cause no self-respecting white trash is gonna spend their food stamp money on something as faggy as Clementines. That’s a pack of cigarettes fer chrissakes.
We don’t need any goddamned elitist insurance either.
This showing up in Bristol (Palin) Virginia and eating a fruit only solidifies my belief that Barack Hussein Obama wants to kill Sarah’s children & eat their brains, like the Kenyan natives of his home country.
Who are these assholes claiming health care “socialism?”
We guess that Medicare and Medicaid–which provide health insurance money for tens of millions of Americans, including conservatives, far-right-wingers and Republicanas–is not socialism? Even though it is government-sponsored, taxpayer-sponsored, tax-money-sponsored health care? Of course it’s not “socialism,” and neither is the Obama administration’s health reform plan.
Nothing done by the Obama administration is in any way “socialism.” If ignorant people think that the government providing money to help certain institutiions is “socialism,” then, fine, we’ll take out all of the government money that goes to Medicaid, Medicaid, Social Security, education, the military, police departments, fire departments, public works agencies, transportation, planning and zoning, code enforcements, consumer affairs regulations, commerce rules, trade laws, import and export laws, existing health care, social services, corrections, jails, prisons, buses, subways, trains, the postal service, drivers’ license agencies, environmental agencies, fish and wildlife agencies, natural resources, pollution controls, and about 5,000 other government functions.
Is government sponsoring all of these areas “socialism?”
Maybe we shouldn’t have any government, and we’ll just live in some crazy, psycho, lawless society. Yes, that would be better.
These protesters need to shut the hell up, get a life, and stop acting like assholes
I want my public option. How much is that a pound?
Country Club Jihadi: Ha ha! Those were the days.
That whole box of clementines is only a pound? Wow! I woulda thunk it was like five pounds for the normal Kroger Clementine price.
Oh my darling oh my darling…
Never mind I can’t sing.
hockeymom: You see, according to Cocteau’s, I mean Cosgrove’s planwe’re the enemy, ’cause we like to think; we like to read. We’re into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. We’re the kind of guys who like to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder - “Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?” WE WANT high cholesterol. We wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay? We want to smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. We want to run through the streets naked with green Jell-o all over our bodies reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because we suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? We’ve SEEN the future. Do you know what it is?
It’s a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing “I’m an Oscar Meyer Wiener”.
(Lifted, from Denis Leary’s rant as Edgar Friendly in 1993’s Sly Stallone epic tour de force Demolition Man)…
Does this include the guys working the loading dock and pushing a broom through the operating wards, too?
Seitan is SATAN! HFCS Saves!
schvitzatura: I actually have a Seitan is Satan button- my sister bought it for me in Greenwich Village. When I wear it, people say who is Seitan?
Oh, muh darlin’
Oh, muh darlin’
Oh, muh daaaarrrlin’ Kroger value grapefruit…
Clementines? In AUGUST?!?! Is there NOTHING this man can’t do?
He’s a magic man, mama….
Oh’ my god is this Barack Obama in the super market? & what is he eating a peach with out washing it…. he needs a health insurance….http://bit.ly/invest_portfolio
Does the President dare to eat an unwashed peach? Tonight at 11.