SO INTENSE!  3:01 pm August 14, 2009

by Jim Newell

  • PAUL BROUN IS A RESPONSIBLE CONGRESSMAN: This is the Georgian asshole’s own obnoxious underlining scheme in a fundraising letter, not ours: “In other words: When mama falls and breaks her hip, she’ll just lie in her bed in pain until she dies with pneumonia because her needed surgery is not cost efficient.” You know he means it, because that’s one bitch of a sentence to format. [TPM]
 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 66 comments }

RoscoePColtraine August 14, 2009 at 3:04 pm

It certainly helps if you read one word at a time. Take a minute. Sound it out…..

Patty Dumpling August 14, 2009 at 3:05 pm

Mama breathes through her hip, FYI

Min August 14, 2009 at 3:08 pm

He’s a doctor? Seriously? Remind me never to get appendicitis in Georgia.

Joshua Norton August 14, 2009 at 3:08 pm

Because, as you all well know, private for-profit insurance companies will immediately hand over stacks of cash anytime you’re feeling a little under the weather.

ManchuCandidate August 14, 2009 at 3:10 pm

Under the current system, she’ll die of hip pneumonia anyway. Only difference is under reform that Paul gets fewer PAC $$$ from the health insurance shitballs.

SayItWithWookies August 14, 2009 at 3:10 pm

Obama and his advisors are modeling this rationing board after European systems that use age and life-expectancy as key factors in deciding the “cost efficiency” of a procedure.

Right — as we all know, the biggest news that’s been coming out of Europe is how they’re euthanizing all their old people or else just letting them die in bed with their broken hips. I mean, where’s the outrage, people? We should be protesting this barbarism at European embassies and consulates everywhere. It’s not like nobody knows this sort of thing is going on, right? Right? Uh…

Patty Dumpling August 14, 2009 at 3:12 pm

And when mama falls in the shower and slits her throat, she’ll just lie in her bed in pain until she dies of polio

Come here a minute August 14, 2009 at 3:12 pm

Why are the death boards after Paul Broun’s mama, when they’re after everyone else’s granny? What makes Paul Broun so special!?

BobTheBuilder August 14, 2009 at 3:12 pm

Why does Obama hate grandmothers so much?

S.Luggo August 14, 2009 at 3:13 pm

As Glennda of Beck notes, ruthlessly pragmatic Obama would’ve wanted the same “She’s fallen and can’t get up, so the fuck with her” result for his own WHITE granny: http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/29305/

Rodney Badger August 14, 2009 at 3:15 pm

Loling about the olds dying slow painful deaths never gets old. Thank you Republican Congressmen!!!!

bitchincamaro August 14, 2009 at 3:15 pm

The simple answer is “yes”, providing mama falls directly into said “bed” and forgot to shut the window before succumbing to said “pneumonia”.

Urbanachiever August 14, 2009 at 3:16 pm

[re=386716]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I know! I thought it WAY TOO OBVIOUS before, but I think the time has come to respond thusly:

“Newsflash dumbasses–your healthcare is ALREADY being rationed. Oh yeah, by insurance companies.”

Joshua Norton August 14, 2009 at 3:18 pm

I know where she can get some free Chicken Marsala.

magic titty August 14, 2009 at 3:18 pm

Barbarism Begins At Home.

CrunchyKnee August 14, 2009 at 3:22 pm

The olds in JoJa are especially fragile.

magic titty August 14, 2009 at 3:24 pm

Paul Broun’s mama’s so old when she falls and breaks her hip, she’ll just lie in her bed in pain until she dies with pneumonia because her needed surgery is not cost efficient.

SNAP!

hobospacejunkie August 14, 2009 at 3:24 pm

Yeah, we want to keep the current warm & caring system that, according to Bernie Sanders, results in 15,000 people per year dying as they lack access to medical care. Try spinning a scary granny story about that, Broun, you heartless fuckhole, then we can talk.

snideinplainsight August 14, 2009 at 3:24 pm

Hey, maybe they could get that Michael Vick to drop by, bring Grandma flowers and a big fruit basket from the Philadelphia Eagles and United Way. That would cheer her up, I bet. Go team!

hobospacejunkie August 14, 2009 at 3:28 pm

[re=386730]Urbanachiever[/re]: Yup, health care is already being rationed, according to the warm and fuzzy system called poverty. If you’re impoverished, health care is rationed to someone else who has money. So suck a death dick, poors. You don’t deserve to live.

wheelie August 14, 2009 at 3:28 pm

If Mama was in Britain, they would force her into a wheelchair and give her a funny electronic voice that everyone would laugh at, just like they did to Professor Screamin’ Jay Hawkins.

orange August 14, 2009 at 3:29 pm

As a medical doctor, I find this appalling.

DP August 14, 2009 at 3:32 pm

He’s only half right. Either way Granny dies, but with the present system Granny dies AND the insurance company bills you for it.

Redundant, if you ask me.

Come here a minute August 14, 2009 at 3:34 pm

Paul Broun should not be wasting time with intensely formatted emails about the proposed government program to pull the plug on his mama. He should be furously twittering about it.

norbizness August 14, 2009 at 3:34 pm

Needs an emoticon, maybe sad :( or nonplussed >:/

widget09 August 14, 2009 at 3:34 pm

Lets just through granny under the bus, she’s probably that old hag with the kool aide pack. Nasty Ho

Limeylizzie August 14, 2009 at 3:35 pm

I just called this lovely Congressasshat and left a message saying he had terrified my grandmother and she had to be rushed to the hospital, I suggest you all do likewise.

Cicada August 14, 2009 at 3:36 pm

Eeek! Eeeeeeeeeek! The insurance companies are going to FAIL, and all the hospitals will CLOSE, and the GAYS will take all the health care jobs, and then the DEATH PANELS will meet and doctors are going to start SMOTHERING OUR MOTHERS WITH GOVERNMENT ISSUED PILLOWS!!!!! Eeeek!!!!

Is this fucking ridiculous enough yet, wingnut fucktard loons? Is there anything else you can squeeze into this mockery of political debate? Maybe pig aids or birdfluenza? Oh, god. Please don’t take me up on that.

Les Paultard August 14, 2009 at 3:39 pm

What can you say? He’s trying to get elected in Georgia.

RoscoePColtraine August 14, 2009 at 3:42 pm

How come it’s always ‘mama’ on her deathbed? ‘Daddy’ somehow just doesn’t engender the same level of pity. It was mama who was always there for you, to cook your food, clean up after you, kiss your boo-boos, tell the teacher off when you got blamed for shit you couldn’t possibly have done.

widget09 August 14, 2009 at 3:45 pm

Let’s just thow granny under the bus, she’s probably that nasty old hag with the kool aide pack. Nasty Ho.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 14, 2009 at 3:46 pm

What will really get people is the fact that they will charge you for the bullet to put mama out of her misery.

ForTheTurnstiles August 14, 2009 at 3:46 pm

[re=386756]widget09[/re]:

Let’s be redundant.

[re=386765]widget09[/re]:

Let’s be redundant.

liquiddaddy August 14, 2009 at 3:47 pm

Jesus, dude?! Buy your mama a life alert, or something. And give her a call now and then for heaven’s sake.

Naked Bunny with a Whip August 14, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Needless to say, nobody ever dies for lack of medical treatment under our current system, where all unemployed elderly have generous private insurance plans. Besides, aren’t these “rationing” assholes the same ones complaining about spending too much money? Make up your minds!

DustBowlBlues August 14, 2009 at 3:52 pm

My own personal live blog of Pres. Obama’s Town Hall: BARACK OBAMA’S AWESOMENESS IS INFINITE. OMG–I love this man more than even JFK when I was 12. Holy Fucking Shit. Sweet Mother of God. This man is fantastic!

Now, back to our regularly scheduled sarcasm.

La Cieca August 14, 2009 at 3:53 pm

When mama falls and breaks her hip, she’ll just lie in her bed in pain until she dies with pneumonia because her needed surgery is not cost efficient

But you gotta see your mama every night or you won’t see your mama at all!

mcc August 14, 2009 at 3:58 pm

perl -pe ‘s/(\w+)/\$1\/sg’

bureaucrap August 14, 2009 at 4:00 pm

See “Pelvic Fractures as a Transmission Vector for Viral Pneumonia in Older Females” Broun, P., Armey, D., Gingrich, N.,37 JAMA 1937 (Nov. 7, 1996).

Come here a minute August 14, 2009 at 4:02 pm

[re=386776]La Cieca[/re]: It’s all because your mama don’t dance and your daddy don’t rock and roll.

doxastic August 14, 2009 at 4:02 pm

mama falls breaks hip,
lie in bed in pain; she dies.
not cost efficient!

GreatOldOnesParty August 14, 2009 at 4:02 pm

[re=386730]Urbanachiever[/re]: The difference between government insurance and private insurance is “age and life-expectancy” vs. “three yachts or four yachts?”

Suds McKenzie August 14, 2009 at 4:03 pm

Is this the beginning of “the rationer’s”?

slappypaddy August 14, 2009 at 4:03 pm

how the hell’s mama gonna get to bed? she’s fallen and broken her hip, pugtard. she’s gonna lie on the floor where she’s fallen until the rats come eat her.

jeez, some people don’t know nothin’.

masterdebater August 14, 2009 at 4:14 pm

That’s RIGHT! Mama’s MUCH better off with health insurance she can’t afford! Anything else is just communism!

snideinplainsight August 14, 2009 at 4:16 pm

Wot caen Broun du far yuo?

desertwind August 14, 2009 at 4:17 pm

Next musical on The Great White Way?

Naked Bunny with a Whip August 14, 2009 at 4:17 pm

Broun’s mother is Mrs. Fletcher, and LifeCall went out of business 20 years ago. So yeah, she’s screwed.

Godot August 14, 2009 at 4:29 pm

Anyone else keep trying to click on that sentence?

Naked Bunny with a Whip August 14, 2009 at 4:36 pm

[re=386835]Godot[/re]: *raises a paw*

slappypaddy August 14, 2009 at 4:40 pm

This is all a misunderstanding (another in a seemingly endless series). The Honorable Congressman is from Georgia, which was burned to the ground by the United States some time back and lost its reference library of American/Georgian translation materials. The Honorable Congressman is writing in the slowly vanishing dialect known as White Georgian. While his words may appear to mean one thing, their actual meaning is somewhat different. I happen to have in my possession one of the few remaining volumes of the White Georgian dialect with matching translations into Standard English. A rough translation of what the Honorable Congressman’s words about injured mothers dying actually mean is something very close to the following: “The President’s a nigger! Him and all his nigger-loving Yankee friends are gonna break into our homes in the middle of the night and rape our women! Y’all get your guns and your white sheets and meet me in the courthouse square at midnight, we’ll go down to nigger-town and put us a stop to this! Bring your torches, too!”

JooJoo Bee August 14, 2009 at 4:41 pm

The mortality rate for elder hip pneumonia in France is staggering. It’s all very suspicious.

trondant August 14, 2009 at 4:42 pm

He must not be allowed near Palin or Bachmann – the resultant offspring would create a wingnut singularity and destroy America. When Obama opens a FEMA camp near here, I will drive the slimey sonofabitch there and not even try to beat gas money out of him. Yes, he’s my Rep., and he doesn’t have the balls to do a healthcare townhall here because we’re that blue dot to the east of Atlanta. So fuck him with a fencepost.

Pithaughn August 14, 2009 at 4:44 pm

As all my loyal readers know, I have an artificial hip, second one in fact. So, it is with considerable personal experiance, and not just my infrequent stays at a Holliday Inn, that I converse on fake joint topics.
In fact, if replacing Grannie’s or Grampie’s joint will keep them out of a skilled nursing facility then it is a very cost effective treatment. As far as I know, there is no age limit for getting a fake joint because of this very reason.
Oh, why two Santa?
Long story short, I dislocated the first one trying to start my leaf/twig chipper/shredder. The reindeer like to have freshly shredded pine boughs as bedding.
The brilliant ER staff managed to crack my femur relocating said joint, thus, A BRAND NEW HIP!
The long version involves a 13 hour scenic drive across Colorado to get to a hospital that my $1400/month COBRA would cover. They probably thought I would rather die than ride for 13 hours with a cracked femur AND mrs Claus driving, little do they know I personally visit every single fucking kid in the world in just 12 hours once a year. Suck on that CIGNA!

trickyrick August 14, 2009 at 4:47 pm

[re=386716]ManchuCandidate[/re]: exactly. [re=386770]liquiddaddy[/re]: oh snap! Life alert!

God, I will be so glad when we finally get a sold health insurance reform bill with a public option. having the Republicans and Palinites lie about something else would be a refreshing change.

Jukesgrrl August 14, 2009 at 4:50 pm

I just read that lovely quote to my mama, Queen of the Olds, and she said, “If I had to live in Georgia, I’d be happy to die of pneumonia.” But after that bon mot, I had to listen her 20-minute soliloquy on how Blue Cross rationed her healthcare for years. As if I haven’t heard THAT before.

widget09 August 14, 2009 at 4:55 pm

[re=386769]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: I blamw the Ganja

GreatOldOnesParty August 14, 2009 at 5:05 pm

I’m waiting for this bill to be defeated so that I can see the most awesomest political cartoon EVAR!

It’s a drawing of a particularly gory Jeebus nailed to a BLUE CROSS, while a Roman centurion carrying a BLUE SHIELD stabs him in the side with a spear. Above his head is a little plaque that, instead of “INRI”, sez “H.R.3200″
The caption at the bottom sez: He died for their $ins.

BOOYA!

S.Luggo August 14, 2009 at 5:07 pm

Be kind. Paul Broun (R-Crackerville, Ga.) was elected to the House in a 2007 special election after his predecessor, Rep. Charlie Norwood, died while waiting for a botox injection. Broun has been scarred by the callousness of socialized medicine ever since.

BTW: Bround wants to abolish our Nazi-Marxist Medicare and Social Security systems so we may have more freedoms.

widget09 August 14, 2009 at 5:09 pm

[re=386979]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: I hope Mel Gibson Doesn’t know where you live.

populucious August 14, 2009 at 5:10 pm

As opposed to now when grandma falls and breaks her hip and lies in bed dying of pneumonia b/c the insurance company deemed that her hip was clearly a pre-existing condition which she had before she signed on with them.

zhubajie August 14, 2009 at 7:08 pm

Broun isn’t taking his gramma to a pentecostal faith healer? Anything else is satanic, isn’t it?

hobospacejunkie August 15, 2009 at 5:45 am

[re=386906]Pithaughn[/re]: Santa, I figgered you took 24 hours to visit every kid. You know, always one time zone ahead of the rising sun, dropping off presents (or lumps of coal, for Charlie Brown) just before the kids wake up, long after they originally fell asleep waiting up for you. If you’re on the 12-hour plan now I suggest you scale it back to 24. You’ll live longer.

LoweredPeninsula August 16, 2009 at 3:14 am

[re=386979]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]:

I’m waiting for this bill to be defeated so that I can see the most awesomest political cartoon EVAR!

It’s a drawing of a particularly gory Jeebus nailed to a BLUE CROSS, while a Roman centurion carrying a BLUE SHIELD stabs him in the side with a spear. Above his head is a little plaque that, instead of “INRI”, sez “H.R.3200″

The caption at the bottom sez: He died for their $ins.

Oh, boy. That’s be so fuckin’ awesome. Only, to make it really wingtardy, instead of Jesus H. Christ, it’ll be the president since the press, of course, has sexytime thoughts about the president every third second of the day. The other two seconds include fantasies with Angelina Jolie (for both men and women) and the other second food.

LoweredPeninsula August 16, 2009 at 3:16 am

BTW, does not the term “death panels” sounds like the most awesomest armour plating on the most awesomest military vehicle evah? Can we haz Death Panels, pleeze?

Mel Ott August 17, 2009 at 11:32 am

[re=386744]orange[/re]: As a non-medical doctor, I also find this appalling.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: