Wonkette
Alaskan teen Levi Johnston is famous for banging one of Sarah Palin’s daughters in Sarah Palin’s house in a special fuck room Sarah Palin created for the children, and ever since America has turned to Young Mr. Levi for tawdry details of the Palin Lifestyle. The latest, from some awful celebrity shit site: Todd and Sarah got some terrible marriage problems!
We think Levi’s expire-by date has passed, because now he just sounds like some dumb stoner jabbering about something his druggy mom heard on The View:
“Shes taking the money, you know,” he said. Asked if Palin and her husband had marital problems, he said, “Oh yeah, they have been from day one” and affirmed that he believed it was part of reason she stepped down.
Day one? Haven’t they been married for, like, longer than Levi has been alive?
Of course, he’s the same Financial/Legal expert who last month said Palin resigned because she got a big advance with her book deal, long before she resigned. What? [Huffington Post]
Levi… You can do better than Kathy Griffin, even as a joke.
Levi, levi likes his money
He makes a lot they say
Spend his days counting
In a garage by the motorway
Shorter Levi: I fucked Sarah Palin.
“…And your mom would stick a fork right into daddy’s shoulder
And dad would throw the garbage all across the floor
As we would lay and learn what each other’s bodies were for…”
Still, I deeply want to believe that Sarah’s Death Panel is convening on Todd at this very moment.
What happened to the “Todd is Gay” rumor? Is that still floating around? If not, it’s time to revive it.
Levis may fade, but they never wear out.
Is the Palin family like some sort of magical shrine that turns people retarded?
ManchuCandidate: I’m trying to figure out how they met. Was she waiting for him outside of his GED class? I’m hoping that Kathy will be able to tell us if Trig is Sarah’s biological child, or just a campaign prop, also. Also. Inquiring minds need to know.
Dumptruck: Levi had a pretty good start on the whole retarded thing before he encountered the Palins.
This just shows how depraved our culture has become when we’re listening to salacious gossip about the Palins. Really, if they’re fighting, can’t they broadcast it on pay-per-view?
Isn’t Sarah Palin concerned that Levi’s unkind remarks might result in the immediate death of her special needs child? I wonder why she has chosen not to take Levi to task in the same manner she upbraids every person on the teevee who dares to mention her family’s name without first sending an honorarium?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTtBMp1fYoY
You all need to watch him be sexually harassed by Kathy Griffin on Larry King. I’m shocked My Wonkette hasn’t already linked to this.
Isn’t the 15 seconds of fame over now?
Alaskan teen Levi Johnston is famous for banging one of Sarah Palin’s daughters in Sarah Palin’s house in a special fuck room Sarah Palin created for the children, and ever since America has turned to Young Mr. Levi for tawdry details of the Palin Lifestyle.
While that may be one of the funniest sentances I’ve ever read, shit Ken, start monitering the Twitters and The Facebooks, MamaGrizzley or whatever the fuck she calls herself is going to ROARAR at you. You exploited one of her chil’ren before she could….
bureaucrap: [i]What happened to the “Todd is Gay” rumor?[/i]
Gay guys don’t have trashy goatees
bureaucrap: I’m ALL for reviving it, personally and in depth. I’m no moose-linghawk, but that boy is SOME pretty…
I guess it’s ok to assume Levi is fucking both of them– and I just posted this on the internet, so it is now a fact. Ok.
ManchuCandidate: You sure about that? Levi brings his looks to the table. Everything else is baggage — the baby, the (allegedly) drug-dealing mom, the lack of education. I’m tempted to say Kathy Griffin’s gonna be the highlight of his short & miserable life. Though I hope not. I hope he is our unfiltered conduit to all things Palin for years to come.
bureaucrap: I’m in. I’ve never forgotten the silk undershorts the campaign bought him.
Please show at least some class and decorum! Anyway, it was offically known by both family and Costa Rican house staff as the “fornicating room,” thank you.
Next week: “Crystal meth? Yeah, she totally does crystal meth, and that’s why she resigned.”
Will Sarah hunt Levi from a helicopter?
My guess is Levi was banging Sarah too, cause that’s the sort of thing yer white trash does. “Bristol” has a funny meaning in Cockney rhyming slang, also.
Anybody else suspect Palin’s paying Levi to say these things just so she can get more attention?
I swear to Christ, she’s like the political equivalent of a toddler:
“Lookatmelookatme! YOU’RE NOT LOOKING!”
Nobody revels more in Sarah Palin’s continuous need for news coverage than Levi Johnston.
freakishlystrong: Yeah, and then she’ll turn around and say, “Obama’s health care plan would have forced my Bristol to get an abortion!”
Q: What’s the difference between Sarah Palin and a pit bull
A: Pit bulls are capable of feeling shame
Congrats to Kathy Griffin for using this tool. Don’t know if she got to ‘handle’ his tool or not, but great publicity.
I’m with Pat Buchanon on this turd weasel.
Come here a minute: At least there is more than one reason. I always knew that the woman was complex.
That’s my Levi…so eager to please. She quit to take the money? No, dear. I want you to tell me the marriage is on the rocks. There, that’s more like it. Now tell me how big you get when I’m around. Really?? Oh, Levi!!!
Sarah Paling Around With Stupidity – Self-Induced And Chronic
http://msmpost.com/news/127/ARTICLE/1358/2009-08-11.html
Levi: Never go full retard.
ScubaDew: Levi says: I went on the Palin/McCain tour and all I got was this lousy tatoo (and child support payments)
Sarah Palinhet ‘n oulike donkie en sal wees die volgende voorsitter. Sy sal dan instituut aparteid in Amerika en trou ‘n moose. …
Another double Quervo please.
Republican “Family Values” confuse the crap outta me.
Bible sex is ok.
Extra marital hetero sex is sometimes ok.
All Trailer sex is definitely ok.
I’m so confused!
magic titty: Neutral Milk Hotel on Wonkette! My day is complete and it’s only nine in the morning.
Levi is haunting the Palins like a bad STD. God bless your horny little heart, Levi Johnston.
Dumptruck: No. That would be the Palin Uterus.
mattbolt: Had to watch that video with the sound off. Jeebus God, that redneck retard is so completely fuckable. I. WOOD. HIT. THAT!!! Whose the ginger tranny and why doesn’t his face move?
Everything is different, but the same… things are more moderner than before… bigger, and yet smaller… it’s computers… Wasilla High School football rules!!11!
Scrodd: Gay guys don’t have trashy goatees
You, sir, have obviously never been to Alaska. Everyone, even most women, has a trashy goatee up there.
In the future, everyone will be cheap and tawdry for fifteen minutes.
freakishlystrong: O wow, it would be some sort of special summer Wonkette Christmas if Sarah Palin picked a personal fight with Wonkette.
Somebody at Huffpo posted a link to this thread. Now we all haz become famous.
Can’t we get these people on the Jerry Springer Show where they belong? Really.
I confess I am having delicious little fantasies about who Sarah could hook up with if she and Todd split. Don’t you think Sarah and Blago would make a cute couple?
Levi is pure gold. Don’t ever stop talking, Levi. Ever.
smartypants: Huffpost? I’ll be sure to make my comments an aggregate of everybody else’s comments, just so their readers don’t get confused.
Scrodd: yeah they do, if their lovers like to have their balls ticked by facial hair when being rimmed….
Now that Sarah has hit the big time, it’s time for an upgrade. Any photos of the special room?
Scrodd: In Holland, we call such facial hair style a “pratende kut,” ja? It means a “talking cunt.”
4tehlulz: So would Kathy Griffin be a step up or a step down for him?
That so-called “special fuck room Sarah Palin created for the children” was always supposed to have been a masterbatorium for Todd. Check the architectural plans. And by the way, how dare you suggest Piper and Trig are having sex? Perverts!
Zorg: a better translation would be “prattling cunt”.
hobospacejunkie: I’m afraid that young Mr. Johnston will soon be taking a long walk off a short ice floe.
Ms. Griffin, an ambitiously catty Chicago girl, has an interesting parodic bent. Would it be fun if she and LJ lined up behind Ashton and Demi on the red carpet? Methinks “yes.” Whatever else I think about Kathy’s comedy, I like the idea of an insult comic whose favorite target is herself.
“Special Fuck Room” WTF! When we were growing up, we had to sneak off and use deserted buildings and the bedrooms of friends. Damn right wing conservatives get it all. We don’t get shits man. We don’t get no special rooms. Well as Rosanna Rosanna Danna used to tell me. “You get conceived in a s special fuck room, then you get born a fucktard.”
4tehlulz: And 9 months later Baby Trigger slid down the icy Alaskan baby chute?
What Levi means is that Sarah never takes Todd to the special fuck room.
hobospacejunkie: Maybe John Stewart can have a “Nixon/Frost” series of interviews with Mr. Fuckin’ Redneck - a look into “Palinworld”…
Bearbloke: Jon Stewart? No, let Larry the Cable Guy do the interview. “Git ‘r done!” I did. An’ now I fuckin’ -am-!”
Sarah Palin’s Fuck Room
I think we have the feel good hit of the summer.
thursday: Sarah Palin’s fuck room.
Thanks for putting -that- image in my head.
I won’t be able to eat for a month.
What I want to know is how anyone with a voice that irritating managed to get impregnated five times.
Hostile Michigander: How could Griffin be a step up for -anyone- ? Barring bestiality or necrophilia. No, strike that last sentence.
“Todd and Sarah got some terrible marriage problems!”
Yes, they are married to each other!
Didn’t anyone read the interview Todd gave earlier this year? He explained that after Sarah was in bed, he took off and rode his snowmobile for 4 or 5 hours each night. Me thinks, the former “hottest” governor was really the former “coldest” governor. Maybe Todd’s little snowmobile trips took him somewhere for a little “warm up” during those long cold winter nights. Could be in the dark of the Alaskan night, Levi got the “bumpits” mixed up and really is the father of both Trigg and Tripp, but with different mothers.