About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Sussemilch

    They shook … hugged … Clinton patting … Gore’s … member

  • V572625694

    Grundle-pumping: had to look it up, and having done so, ew.

    Wonkette is edumacational!

  • Come here a minute


  • orange

    The word “linger” is pretty sweet.

  • Gopherit

    Nothing beats a good grundle-pumping on the tarmac.

    Jim, your memoirs are going to read like the Washingtonienne’s, aren’t they?

  • TheNavOne

    When did the NYT start writing Ex Presidential slash fiction?

  • NoWireHangers

    Now we know what gets Adam Nagourney off.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Al: Thank you for saving people who were near and dear to me and who I was afraid were gone forever.
    Bill: No problem — coulda done that for you in 2000 too, if you’d only asked.

  • Nappied Hypotenuse

    Jim, if I hadn’t recently changed my handle to this, I would gladly become Grundle Pumper. Writing!

  • Mahousu

    Euna Lee has a really cute daughter.

    And Al Gore cannot keep his hands off – well, pretty much anybody, in those pictures. Perhaps we were under a misconception as to who the real horndog was in that administration.

  • Balls!

    They should have stuck to the dutch rudder, that’s not nearly as gay

  • Mr Blifil

    Then Clinton lifted the diminutive Mr. Jong-il and slowly inserted him into Mr. Gore’s rectum while hollering “Have a Lewinsky Havana Special!”

    Or words to that effect.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    Dems are gay fornicators. That’s why they’re Dems.

  • Citizen Kang


    Ahhh…you gotta love it. Elder statesmen behaving badly.

  • nappyduggs

    Grundle pumping. Mr. Newell, you have just SAVED MY MARRIAGE!11!!1

    Fuck you.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=379189]V572625694[/re]: Same here. But I’ve always called that a taint. Males have an abundance of names for certain spots. How soon can I work ‘grundle’ into a casual conversation?

  • McDuff

    [re=379201]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Meow!

  • Scruffy_The_Janitor

    Scruffy wouldn’t mind an extended Slick Willy hug…

  • Pirate King of the Jews

    wikipedia does not recognize “grundle pump”

  • BadKitty

    Bless you for not posting a photo.

  • chascates

    And Limbaugh asked today if Clinton hit on the two Asian journalists he rescued.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=379189]V572625694[/re]: You and me both. There’s something to be said for blissful ignorance.

  • freakishlystrong

    Is grundle where frumunda comes from?

  • Jukesgrrl

    Hansel and Grundle.

  • Extemporanus

    Nothing beats a good grundle-pumping on the tarmac.

    A Beowulf-milking on the driveway comes pretty damn close.

  • hockeymom

    Nagourney called them both fat in the article.

  • kdaddy

    Growing up on a farm you learn, when the big animals get to pumping, get out of the way or
    become part of the grundle.

  • magic titty

    [re=379226]Pirate King of the Jews[/re]: Wikipedia would know it if it saw it.

  • blinky_twinkie

    I’ve been wondering what a “grundle” is since the movie “Dodgeball” came out. And now I know. Yay knowledge (ew).

  • Rev. Peter Lemonjello

    What, no scritches?

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=379235]hockeymom[/re]: Nagourney is such a bitchy weight queen he can’t help editorializing. Except when it comes to describing health care industry stooges.

  • V572625694

    [re=379221]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: [re=379231]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: My distaste for the term itself is not, however, indicative of any actual repugnance for the act as such, when performed upon me by a suitable partner.

    This is how Bill Clinton would phrase it on the witness stand.

  • Gorillionaire

    Great. Now I have to rub one out at work. Thanks alot Wonkette.

  • Gopherit

    [re=379291]Gorillionaire[/re]: you are going to hell for saying that.

  • El Pinche

    Wake me when there’s youtube footage of bubba and al scissoring each other.
    Fingerbanging, also.

  • snideinplainsight

    But what about the Buffalo Wishbone?

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Takes me back to the spouse swamping days of the Clinton/Gore Bus trip.

    And, Jim, you should be happy, this article is already the fourth hit out of 1240 when you google “Grundle pumping.”

    [re=379188]Sussemilch[/re]: Now that is a movie I would pay to see.

    Of course you could have gone with: They shook . . . first, and than hugged . . . , with Mr. Clinton . . . hand along Mr. Gore’s back . . . lingering before moving on to . . . the waiting . . . members.

    Or simply: They shook . . . and . . . hugged . . . the . . . members.

  • mightysea

    They were merely exchanging long protein strands. If you can think of a simpler way, I’d like to hear it. Thanks for not making any jokes about the global warming in Gore’s pants, etc etc.

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=379353]snideinplainsight[/re]: That’s a younger man’s game, son. We’ll have to settle for a Niagra Lazy-Braid.

  • The Station Manager

    [re=379361]mightysea[/re]: Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos.

  • Todd Mecklem

    Just sweet nostalgia for the days when Al was Bill’s favorite Vice…

  • lemprika

    Is it too early for us to call that scene the “Bromance” of the summer.

  • widget09

    I don’t know but I think a “rusty trombone” might trump that grundle pumping.
    Ante Up.

  • Uncle Glenny

    NYT left out the line about Bill smuggling a Nork missile in his pocket.

    [re=379230]chascates[/re]: Sometimes I think Rush scavenges the Wonkette comments then has editors work on the points so they seem less realistic.

  • Carl Spakler

    When I look the NYT pic I hear the theme to Love Story…

    OK, it was actually the theme to Shaft

  • Scandalabra

    Thank god Al didn’t take advantage of the tarmac photo op to deliver a “Cleveland Steamer”.

  • Lazy Media

    Everybody wants Bill Clinton to touch them. Those who have not been In The Presence don’t know it yet, but if you ever meet his Massive Red-Faced Eminence, you will understand. It’s a weird vibe. The dude’s charisma can kill at 100 paces.

  • dedalus

    Hate to admit it, but Bing sniffed out the old Grundle for me, whereas Google kept referring me to some circle jerk site named Wonkett.

    Thanks Mr. Ballme. Er…

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=379573]Lazy Media[/re]: So true. My wife met him at a fundraiser last fall & swoons every time she talks about it.

    And I shook his hand back in ’92 in the late summer/early fall Texas heat. Boy howdy was his face red. Looked like he was about to spontaneously combust.

  • TGY

    So the Fab Four Less Two are together, again?

  • LoweredPeninsula

    [re=379573]Lazy Media[/re]: Everybody wants Bill Clinton to touch them.

    Win; because it’s true. Today, we are all wanting to be touched by Bill Clinton (Blythe).