Wonkette
Assuming the president is even human, can anybody verify from which woman’s birth canal he sprang, and where, and when? The answer is no, until Barack Obama produces 1) a valid long-form birth certificate with coffee stains to make it look “real” and also 2) a 47-year-old mucus plug. (Note: do not Google “mucus plug” until after lunch.) But in lieu of this evidence, we are left to wonder whether Barack Obama was born in Kenya at all if somebody dug up a birth certificate from South Australia that looks SUSPICIOUSLY like his Kenyan one.
Some enterprising soul at Politijab spent a few hours Googling around for birth certificates that looked vaguely Kenyan in aspect (racism much???), and came across one from Australia that looks weirdly similar. Except it’s not for Barry Hussein Sorento at all, it’s for some dude named David Bomford.
This should finally put to rest all the birthers’ concerns, because now we have definitive proof that Barack Obama is actually a 50-year-old (presumably?) white man from Australia. Or do we?
Kenyan Birth Certificate: PWNED! [Politijab]
Is This the Source of the Forged ‘Kenyan Birth Certificate?’ [Washington Independent]
Can’t we just agree that he’s Not of This World and everyone can go home happy?
So…Obama is an Aussie now? I thought he was a British Subject/Kenyan/Pakistani/Native Hawaiian using his genuine Al Qeada issued passport in order to pal around with an assortment of no-goodniks.
Geeze, the birthers have me confused. Message discipline people, message discipline.
Okay, so he’s black on top and white down under.
Problem solved.
He’s not African or American, he’s Neapolitan.
…what?! There werent any Martian birth certificates available to use as a template?!
OfCourseImRight will be thrilled to know this. PROOF AT LAST.
So David Bomford should rightfully be our 44th president, is what you’re saying?
His 48 year old placenta is what we need to see, really.
Crocodile Barree! I can’t wait for the scene in the dive bar when he discovers that Orly Taintz is actually a dude.
(recycled comment)
You know, of course, this won’t slow the birthers down one bit. If repeated assurances by the State of Hawaii didn’t convince them, nothing will.
I for one welcome our new Aussie overlord, also too.
Well the Indonesians aren’t going to be happy about this.
Airborne Toxic Event: He did admit publicly that he was born on Krypton. Awfully ‘convenient’ that the Kryptonian Department of Health was ‘destroyed’
I dunno … looks to me like it all some sort of British plot to take over the US (note how they’ve cleverly used parts of their sinister empire to orchestrate this) … I suspect MI-5. Where is Lyndon LaRouche when you need him?
Bill E Pilgrim:
I would just love to get his ass into a waffle cone.
well Obama does like his beer ya reckon.
…I guess this will require a new addition to Barack Obama’s current birther title of Socialist, Muslim, Aetheist, Abortion Doctor, Racist, Manchurian, Kenyan Presidential Imposter? Somehow they will have to fit “White Aboriginal” in there!
Happy birthday Barack! Or Barry. Or Ludwig. Whatever your name is. Happy birthday Mr. President, whoever you are. I mean whomever you are. Who or whom? Jesus fucking Christ everything is so fucking complicated these stupid fucking days…
Well, Barry O. is the result of a recombo-DNA program aimed at creating a super-Muslin Emperor. He was built from scratch with genes from Ayatollah Khomenei, Karl Marx, and Yahoo Serious.
I knew he was an Aborigini…
Aww, that ain’t a birth suhtificate, mate. (*whips out long form!*) That’s a birth suhtificate.
nappyduggs: Come to Silver Spring- Tropical Ice Cream(formerly York Castle) has created a special ice cream in BHO’s honor called Harambe(really !)
Australia! Now it all makes sense.
Also note: Do NOT Google vasectomy hours before you’re going in for one.
Mucus plug is a real boner killer.
The sun never sets on the British Empire, nor doest the empire ever update its letterhead apparently. What, mayhap does Queen Peggy of Noonanshire think of all this?
David Bomford’s parents are part of the conspiracy. In 1959, two years before Obama’s birth, Bomford’s parents were sent to Australia by Bill Ayers in order to give birth to their son…and create this certificate, so that it could be used 50 years later to create a forgery that would discredit the birther movement and distract people from the real story.
It’s in Revelations, people.
So when can we expect Socialism Dreaming to go follow his dreamline?
Now I’m in Australia! Now I’m in America!
Australia! America! Australia! America!
Maybe it was really Michael Jackson’s.
Servo: or, on the other end of the spectrum, dress up in drag and do a song-and-dance routine with Guy Pearce and Terrence Stamp?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7t9vP9SVwc
From Free Republic:
Digital photos are hard to fake and withstand serious analysis.
Yes. Digital photographs are hard to fake.
I’m pretty sure he was born by a river, in a little, tent. And just like that river, he’s been runnin’ ever since.
You should all be fired for failing to recognize a forged Australian birth certificate when you see one. Clearly this is an effort to discredit Dr. Taintz and her magnificent find.
Hah! Silly Oral Taint. The bitch is psycho!
Obama should acknowledge this meme by throwing some shrimp on the barbie during the next White House picnic.
Does he has a birth certificate for being BORN AGAIN? WELL DOES HE? HUH? HUH?!!!! MUZLINZ!
Speaking of Orly, I also find that some of the right-wing-nuttiest of all right wing nuts are Russian and Middle European ex-pats. Hell, I know one young dude from Georgia (the former SSR, not the US State) who’s Farther Right than Limbaugh, Rove, and all the Cheneys mashed together.
In their eyes, because out-of-control and thoroughly corrupt Communism was all bad ‘n’ stuff, then, obviously, out-of-control and thoroughly corrupt *Capitalism* must just always be awesome, perfect, a virtual heaven on earth that can do no wrong!
Hard to talk to these folks.
NO WAIT, THE OBOTS HACKED ORLY’S COPY!!!!11 Srsly, I read it on the interwebs.
Words escape me.
This begs an important question, who will he root for during the America’s Cup? Australia or US? That is going to be a tough one.
I’m so confused. He’s Indonesian, Kenyan, Australian, American, Krypton, Martian, black, Christian, Muslim, basketball-playin’, constitutional law professorin’, WHAT IS HE? I just don’t want to offend my Socialist Overlord.
How about we just make him Canadian and be done with it? Huh, birthers? How about that? A perfectly harmless Canadian. Like Pamela Anderson or that guy who wore a knit hat and drank a lot of beer.
If Ornery Tits would just release her ‘original’ of Barry’s BC, then it could be forensically tested to determine if the paper and ink compositions are from the 60s or if they are modern.
WHY WONT YOU RELEASE THE BIRF CERTIPICATE, ORNERY TITS?
AxmxZ: Indeed, the next beer summit could feature Fosters and Victoria Bitter. Then have Rahm clear the legislative deck of all these other trivial matters to push for Paul Hogan Appreciation Day
finallyhappy:
They had that for the Inaguration, too. My six yr old niece had a great time discussing how much she “roots for Obama” with the nice people who run the shop.
The name “David” is derived from the Biblical Hebrew name דָּוִד, meaning “Beloved”, whereas the Hebrew form of the name “Barak” is Baruch, meaning “Blessed”. Beloved, blessed, what’s the dif?
BOMford, OBaMa, see what I’m getting at here?
IT’S THE JEWS!!!
Ya know, this could be the grand unifying theory of conspiracy theories…something which neatly ties together Rosewell, Area 51, the Kennedy, King and Malcolm X Assassinations, the moon landing, Katrina, 9/11…throw in an Amelia Erhart, Elvis and DB Cooper love triangle just for fun.
Once a jolly Bomford camped by a billabong
Under the glare of a wingnutter site,
And he sang as he cut and pasted docs ’til his billy boiled
“You’ve come from the Republic of Kenya, Barry”
Republic of Kenya, Republic of Kenya
“You’ve come from the Republic of Kenya, Barry”
And he sang as he cut and pasted docs ’til his billy boiled
“You’ve come from the Republic of Kenya, Barry”
I think it makes more sense to google “mucas plug” before lunch, you may save some lunch money, after lunch, your lunch vcould end up on your monitor, ala power barf!
I knew he was an aboriginal. He was never a convincing negro - with those pitiful dance moves, please.
An obvious forgery, as Kenyan birth certificates are printed on roughly-cured waterbuffalo hide and written in the blood of sacrificial voodoo chickens.
Also, nobody ’springs’ from a birth canal unless pushed out by East German Olympic athletes.
So is the registrar’s name G.F. Levender?
badmuthagoose: Yeah, sure, we’ll take him. He could be just the high-profile signing that the CFL needs, like Rocket Ismail and Doug Flutie rolled into one.
President Beeblebrox: I think Wonkette denizens need to go there and play with the stupids.
The real questions are where was Sarah Palin born, where was Meghan McCain born, and where in the solar system were these people born: Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and others of their ilk. Are they United States citizens? Many people think they’re aliens!
Get a grip on Googling mucus pad… I’m still ***OMG*** after Googling “Blow Job.”
I voted for Obama because I thought he was a white man, so now I am vindicated.
It makes sense. Everybody remember when he won, how he came out onto the stage with a KB oilcan in his hand, dancing a shanty and singing
‘In South Australia I was born,
heave away, haul away!
In South Australia ’round cape horn!
’cause I’m from South Australia!’
Haul away you rolling King!
He’s an aborigine? AWESOME! I always wanted a president that could play the didgeridoo.
Crikey! The birthers are gonna ‘roo the day they got so hopped up that they copied an Aussie document!
If Barry orders the Army Corp of Engineers to figure out a way to make the water in the White House toilets circle the bowl in the opposite direction, we’ll have him!
Obama is a “Black Fella” awesome.
Obama — Australian for beer summit.
We are awaiting your apology, Mr. Taintz.
WadISay: Lisa: That’s not a Birth Certificate, that’s a half-hearted photoshop.
Birther: Oh, ah, yeah, well, yes. I see you’ve played Birthey-Forgery before.
Today we are all Australians.
Hey Australia, we’ll keep Barry if you take Rupert back m’kay.
Yeah, well, our editors have not said “Happy Birthday” once, so they must not believe it’s his birthday either.
Obama? That’s a bit of an odd name for a president? I’da called him Chazzwuzzah!
In a comment yesterday, I speculated on the very bad day some hapless telephone operators in Mombasa (at the hospital, the city clerk’s office, etc.) they undoubtedly had trying to answer an avalanche of deranged lunatics calling from US America.
Now this poor bastard Bomford is in for even worse.
I truly cannot decide whether ruining the days of random anonymous schmucks worldwide is the most awesome piece of performance art ever or just indiscriminate terrorism.
The certificate does not list the race as “devil”. Ergo definitely phony.
Gopherit: Does that mean we’ll be subjected to a new arts program that will force “world music” into the ears of defenseless Americans? That’s a digeriDON’T.
*sad trombone*
Retards are now saying that Australian document is fake and some retard who doesn’t know photoshop says it’s a layered file which is proof it’s fake because he doesn’t understand software or life! i hate them! Auughgh!
So this is why the Secret Service has been investigating all those threats from Stingrays…
vkladchik: Gaylord Fauntleroy Lavender. It’s a very common name in Oz. All the BBQing and gator wrassl’n and knife waving is just compensation.
wimps! mucus plug is nothing. Now seeing the placenta- that was what made me sick after laboring 24 hours and giving birth- and 25 years later- I still cringe when I think about what it looked like.
Don Juanquete: I said happy birthday way back near the start of the comments. How many times can we say happy birthday without giving away the secret that most of us write these comments from inside the White House? Oh, damn it, what a giveaway! Never mind. Just ignore this comment. Just typing here boss…
Cicada: You are making kittens cry with those puns.
Who wants some hawt, chocolate luv? http://dlisted.com/node/33254
Mucus plugs are great for skin complexion. I use my own on my face every other day and I’m glowing.
We should have guessed Barry was Aborigimal, what with all this folded paper.
If He was born in Australia, then wasn’t His birthday really yesterday over there? Down there? Down under? From now on, we’ll be celebrating the 4th of July on the 5th. And Christmas on the 26th. Like the Flux Capacitor, Nobama will be able to move time backwards by going foward.
SHOW US YER UMBILICAL CORD YOU HIPPIE KENYAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
finallyhappy: So you didn’t eat it? Because that’s what all the cool moms were doing 25 years ago. This site has recipes, including directions on making (yum!) placenta jerky.
FINAL PROOF!11!!…that Joe Biden’s choice at the beer summit was forced upon him by the Dear Leader. Thank you, intewebz!
InsidiousTuna: Digital photographs are hard to fake.
That’s what tell everyone who challenges the accuracy of my Manhunt.com profile.
Here’s the radio interview with the Australian guy — funny!
http://www.abc.net.au/pm/content/2008/s2646009.htm
http://mpegmedia.abc.net.au/news/audio/pm/200908/20090804-PM7-ID-theft.mp3
me: Cert-i-fi-cate.
birther: fra-UHd?
me: CeeR-TI-FI-CATE.
birther: FRAA-AAUHD?
This must mean that the President is really . . . 80’s pitchman and asutrailian soccer player Mark “Jacko” Jackson! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmQhkaw_ypE&feature=related
I have a really good feeling that that fake certificate is printed on 8.5×11 paper, not A4. Why is 1964 Kenya using the modern North American paper size system?
finallyhappy: …and we told the Doc (19 yrs. ago) after my daughter was born, that we wanted to bring home the placenta for the dog.
He was not amused.
Obama’s Black?! Shit. Who knew? Didn’t say that on the ballot. Shit
I’m starting to think this birther phenomenon is the Best Thing Ever. Watching Republicans devour their own…delicious.
CapnFatback: No, Jacko didn’t play soccer, he played this fucked-up game. Oi!
ManchuCandidate: Down came Oily
Sprayed a fetching shade of orange
Down Came the Birthers - one, two, three
Whose that birth certificate
You’ve got in your tucker bag?
You’ll come a Waltzing Matilda with me
http://muckbreaker.blogspot.com
The Obama Birthers site says Ornery Tatz will submit this certificate to a number of judges. Will Paula Abdul be one of them?
iolanthe: That’s called the Ayn Rand disorder.
Candy Crowley slipped on Lou Dobbs tonight, I think we can oficially use the term “Birthers” now. Lou was flabbergasted!
So, Australians are Negros?
Wherever did you guys get the idea that ANY Australian citizen is actually from this planet?
Onya President Bommo, get a dog up ya.