LEAVE MEGHAN MCCAIN ALONE!  9:40 am July 28, 2009

by Sara K. Smith

  • SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? “Certainly, McCain had no idea if the person on the other end of the tweet was really depressed or just seeking attention, but she was legitimately trying to help someone. That deserves respect, not taunting. Yet Layne continued to make fun of her, accusing her of being a second-rate ‘Bat Man’ and of going ‘progressively more nuts while reading the random twitters of other people.’” Best part of this commentary: it’s filed under the “Celebrity Kids” category. [Examiner]
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Hola wonkerados.

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BigBrainOnBrad July 28, 2009 at 9:45 am

Ahh, Meghan. Such a Fellatio Alger story.

Aloysius July 28, 2009 at 9:45 am

Heartless fuckers, all of you.

Wait, that makes me a heartless fucker, too. Very well. Move along.

Joehoya July 28, 2009 at 9:48 am

I’d be her second-rate Robin any day.

Suds McKenzie July 28, 2009 at 9:48 am

“Twitter” I need your help, there is a suicidal person in Seattle.

magic titty July 28, 2009 at 9:48 am

Bitch Layne, you just got served.

finallyhappy July 28, 2009 at 9:49 am

OOH, the examiner, that piece of rightwing giveaway trash. They better support the Little Miss because they endorsed Daddy.

Crow T. Robot July 28, 2009 at 9:51 am


51dimes July 28, 2009 at 9:51 am

I like the part where the author admits that suicide jokes are sometimes funny. Point making FAIL.

ManchuCandidate July 28, 2009 at 9:54 am

Or it could be that Meg just loves drama. Nothing she’s done goes beyond for what passes for drama among the Hills crowd. Her track record (?) doesn’t exactly show a strong awareness for the world around her.

Besides, if I can’t be a heartless fucker on the the intertubes then what’s left?

Don Juanquete July 28, 2009 at 9:55 am

Meghan, we respect you. Totally. Sincerely.
By the way, if you want more respect, the Sturgis Bike Rally is next week. I’m sure your parents have shared their happy mammaries of the event last year.

Todd Mecklem July 28, 2009 at 9:55 am

Oh Meghan, well, you came and you gave without takin’…but we laughed at your tweets, oh Meghan…

Cape Clod July 28, 2009 at 9:55 am

Jesus Christ. Touchy, aren’t we? Good thing they didn’t see all the jokes about Trig.

Mumbletypeg July 28, 2009 at 9:56 am

I dunno about Megs… but noticed the sidebar story on same page — I kinda like Obama’s new geisha ‘do:


4tehlulz July 28, 2009 at 9:56 am

Internet. Serious business.

Rumproast July 28, 2009 at 9:57 am

I am so *angry* at Ken Layne now I can barely Tweet.

hardyjj77 July 28, 2009 at 10:00 am

Megs looked like her typical sucker self and Layne needed five paragraphs to pillory an extremely slow-moving target. I wouldn’t look fondly upon it as one of Wonkette’s finest moments, because there was plenty of lame to go around on this one. Teeing off on Meghan McCain is as challenging as peeing your own pants.

Bypartizoa July 28, 2009 at 10:02 am

I actually thought Ken’s post was pretty lame. Some dude seemed suicidal and Meg freaked. There may have been some way to make that situation funny, but Ken didn’t find it.

Cape Clod July 28, 2009 at 10:02 am

I’m sure they had a similar sense of outrage when Rush mocked Michael J. Fox for having Parkinson’s Disease.

natoslug July 28, 2009 at 10:03 am

What’s wrong with being a proponent of suicide? We have finite resources, and every idiot who jumps ship early just leaves more for the rest of us. I say more suicide jokes and fewer helmet and seatbelt laws. But, if Meghan must rescue the doomed, I have a few million sperm that are going to die later today . . . she’s free to provide them with a warm and loving home.

freakishlystrong July 28, 2009 at 10:03 am

Lexie Tigre???!

Noodle Salad July 28, 2009 at 10:06 am

Meghan McCain will serve as the model for the new Statue of Freedum to be unveiled in Phoenix: Give me ur poors, ur tired, ur ‘suicidal’ attention whorz yrning 2 B news. But if ur an illegal, I will twat INS.

WadISay July 28, 2009 at 10:08 am

Actually, Googling “suicide jokes” produces 4,610,000 hits. They’re all despicable, viz:


Advocatus_Diaboli July 28, 2009 at 10:13 am

Why exactly did Meghan have to tweet about any of this, other than for shameless self-promotion?
I think that was Ken’s point. No?

hobospacejunkie July 28, 2009 at 10:14 am

[re=372134]Don Juanquete[/re]: I respect Megh’s ability to consume Twinkies &Old Milwaukee.

Meaux July 28, 2009 at 10:15 am

[re=372144]freakishlystrong[/re]: Right???!

Katydid July 28, 2009 at 10:15 am

Meghan-lovin’ Examiner-readin’ GOP trolls muster courage and assert boldly Ken was lame. Musta hada meetin’.

It burns! It burns!

I fear Ken may never recover.

Monsieur Grumpe July 28, 2009 at 10:15 am

“Grow up Wonkette”?

Ouch. Now I’m feeling kind of down. I mean REALLY down. Help me Meghan.

Don Juanquete July 28, 2009 at 10:15 am

“So vast is art, so narrow human twit.”
–Alexander Pope, sort of

glamourdammerung July 28, 2009 at 10:17 am

[re=372151]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: That is my opinion on the matter. She could have just as easily helped them without having to go on about it in a streak of self-promotion. I do not have any issue with her (or having someone else) contacting the authorities, but the live-blogging her rescue was a bit strange.

CrunchyKnee July 28, 2009 at 10:22 am

Wait, Megs has a publicist?!?!?!

Hello Sunshine July 28, 2009 at 10:25 am

If only she’d followed the UK Government’s rules on twittering.

hobospacejunkie July 28, 2009 at 10:27 am

Ken Layne can do wrong. And the sooner you all accept that the better.

jasper f. krone July 28, 2009 at 10:31 am

I am seeking outpatient trtmnt” he told one person who suggested he had of made it up. Nothing nervous or illiterate about that, right?

hobospacejunkie July 28, 2009 at 10:32 am

Yeah, I just woke up. Well you don’t have to call a man haggard. I meant Ken Layne can do no wrong & the sooner you accept that the better.

JayRodriguez July 28, 2009 at 10:35 am

Why isn’t the MSM reporting on this twatgate?

ManchuCandidate July 28, 2009 at 10:35 am

I’m kind of haggard (not Ted) too so I read it as you intended.

But the typo is much funnier.

MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend July 28, 2009 at 10:42 am

Well what the fuck would a Meghan McCain Bat symbol look like anyway?

Please, never grow up, Wonkette.

Suds McKenzie July 28, 2009 at 10:43 am

[re=372179]hobospacejunkie[/re]: u sleep?

Studge July 28, 2009 at 10:53 am

Well! The Examiner certainly has your number, Ken. We can expect you to shut down Wonkette how soon now?

Cape Clod July 28, 2009 at 10:54 am

[re=372199]MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend[/re]: The same as the original one, only larger and more sensitive to criticism.

Yaybuls July 28, 2009 at 10:55 am


Why cure the sick? Why feed the hungry?

But I do agree with your Meghan’s home for sperm sentiment.

Minnie Mean July 28, 2009 at 10:56 am

Aww, Ken. So you made fun of worthless attention-whore Megs who was trying to get some special attention by displaying her fumbling concern for a possible suicide. Meh.
I think we should all tweet her daily with our own crisis: losing my house because I can’t pay hospital bills, 14 year old daughter preggers following abstinence training, out of work for 11 months and reduced to eating cardboard, can’t find the remote, my mother stole my last bottle of bourbon – all followed by a sincere plea for help. Really, wouldn’t it be great to have someone solve all our problems for us? Think how much more time we’d have for posting on Wonkette!

In any case, growing up is NOT on the table. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zo4Y0TxW41g

gurukalehuru July 28, 2009 at 10:56 am

“Help me, Twitter” sounds a bit like “Help me, Obi Wan Kenobe” which would make Megs Princess Leah. Kind of a dumber, heavier set Princess Leah, but still well doable.

natoslug July 28, 2009 at 11:01 am

[re=372218]Yaybuls[/re]: Your avatar is killing me. Makes me want to eat a Girl Scout. Erm, cookie.

Gorillionaire July 28, 2009 at 11:13 am

“Tough mama, meat shakin’ on yer bones…”

AnnieGetYourFun July 28, 2009 at 11:14 am

“The situation unfolded via Twitter while McCain was on a roadtrip in her home state of Arizona.”

I think that “the situation unfolded via Twitter” is either the funniest or the scariest phrase ever uttered in the English language.

ivenson July 28, 2009 at 11:32 am

“Certainly, Layne had the idea that the “Celebrity Kid” was really going progressively more nuts; just seeking attention…‘Bat S***’. She was legitimately trying to seek attention while helping someone. That deserves random, second-rate taunting.”

Fixed that for ya.

Don Juanquete July 28, 2009 at 11:34 am

Seriously, what’s wrong with you examiners? Steroids, apparently. Srsly. I didn’t know about this here Examiner.com and looked it up on the oracle of Wikipedia and got this bit of wisdom:

“Examiners are local experts who have a voice, knowledge and an opinion,” Sherrod told the Denver Business Journal. “Think of an Examiner like a blogger on steroids. Examiners will have the tools, platform and exposure to not only report, but build a community of others who share their passion.”[

Wonkette always leads to new wisdom.

problemwithcaring July 28, 2009 at 11:45 am

[re=372259]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Concur.

Aside from the infinitesimal small chance that someone might have died, that supernova of preening attention-seeking whorenesss had to be made fun of or the Earth could very well have imploded upon itself. It wasn’t pretty, but Ken did what he had to do.

thefrontpage July 28, 2009 at 12:17 pm

Hey, McCains: Why is everything so unfunny to you?

Maybe if all of you spent time actually writing intelligent letters, essays, books, articles, pieces of legislation that actually help people, bills that help people, and productive writings that constructively contribute to society, instead of illiterate, stupid short sentences on electronic devices and dumb messages on dumb blogs, then maybe, just maybe, people wouldn’t satirize you?

Stop being national embarrassments, and do something productive. Then people won’t make fun of you.

imissopus July 28, 2009 at 12:21 pm

If Megs is too busy ordering her publicist to help potential suicides, can I have her book deal? I promise to work every day and not get distracted by Vegas trips, Twitter, or Hostess fruit pies.

Redhead July 28, 2009 at 12:46 pm

Because, you know, whenever I’m feeling suicidal, I like to reach out to random strangers on twitter who I don’t know and can’t understand, and I find that they do a GREAT job of talking me through it. Well, as much as you can consider twatting talking. And after I get out the dictionary to decipher airheadette. I mean, why call someone on the phone when you can twitter instead? I know random posts on twitter are just so GREAT at convincing me not to be suicidal anymore. Yup, they sure are. That’s I would go there I’m being an annoying spoiled attention whore – whoops, I meant when I was feeling suicidal. Yeah, that’s what I meant.

Katydid July 28, 2009 at 1:13 pm


Examiner.com is basically a collection of blogs, and its writers are paid, according to techcrunch.com, $2.50 for every 1000 pageviews (10/08 figure). While the site is owned by the same company that owns the SF Examiner, the Clarity Media Group, they’re not related in any other way.

From its “Write For Us” page:

Will I be asked to purchase anything or pay a fee?
Absolutely not. You may choose to purchase business cards, t-shirts or other official Examiner.com items if you desire to do so.

Ken, you smug bastard and original defamer of Saint Meghan, what official Wonkett items do you get to buy?

yellowdogdem July 28, 2009 at 1:15 pm

[re=372365]thefrontpage[/re]: That reminds me of the mints I have in my purse. http://www.philosophersguild.com/pics/0191.jpg

Barrett808 July 28, 2009 at 2:26 pm

[re=372461]Katydid[/re]: Yeah, the Examiners walk that thin line between “trolls” and “provocateurs.”

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