Hey, a new survey about things people don’t know: Gallup asked some random selection of Americans who haven’t had their phones shut off to rate nine major federal agencies they may or may not have heard about, on the AM radio. The results are … bad news for, let’s see, Ben Bernanke? Sure!
Here is how the important agency of all news, the AP, re-typed the press release:
The share of Americans who think the Federal Reserve is doing an excellent to good job has sunk even as chairman Ben Bernanke has taken unprecedented steps to try to prevent a financial catastrophe, according to a new poll released Monday.
The Gallop poll, conducted in mid-July, found that only 30 percent rated the Fed as doing an “excellent/good” job.
(Oh hey AP, it is actually “Gallup.” Might want to fix the spellcheck when you do that whole “We will control all words on the Internet” deal you’ve announced. Morons.)
So which federal things do the people love? We know the ones they rely upon, to exist: Social Security and Medicare and the VA and whatever else pays the disability or welfare or diabetes medicine bills, as this is a nation of dumb white pigs on the dole who spend all their time watching Day TeeVee and listening to the AM radio yell about … black people.
Did you know only half of all adults in America actually work? This is true. Next time you’re on a plane between LA and NYC, look down there in the middle of the country, the real Pro-’Murica ‘Merica. Nobody works. Everybody’s just standing around the grocery buying discount-brand 12-packs on weekday mornings, divorced and covered in strip-mall tattoos (if they’re 40) or knocked up and covered in strip-mall tattoos (if they’re 20) or living alone in a single-wide an hour’s drive from the nearest Quiznos, so loaded up with oxycontin and guns (if they’re 60-80).
Oh anyway the poll says people love the CDC, for inventing PIG AIDS, and NASA, which has not done anything for exactly 40 years, and the FBI, which did 9/11.