Wonkette
If we are to believe recent news reports, the C Street clubhouse hosts many dudes — okay, two or three dudes — who at one time or another found comfort in the arms of ladies who were not their wives. But wait! Wasn’t this a Bible study group or something, in addition to being a Capitol Hill boarding house for adulterers? Yes — which might explain the wildly hedonist shenanigans that took place in that den of foulness, according to Rep. Pete Hoekstra.
Nobody parties like a true believer:
Hoekstra said he stopped attending meetings about two years ago, saying he’d gotten what he needed out of his visits. While never living at C Street, he was a regular for about seven years at a dinner-fellowship every Tuesday.
“We’d fellowship, we’d pray, we’d talk about Jesus, and we’d eat,” Hoekstra said. “In the headiness of Washington, D.C., it’s trying to make sure you keep your head screwed on straight.”
This is all obviously code for some of the most depraved sex acts imaginable outside of Japanese tentacle porn. Thank God Hoekstra got out with his rectum intact.
(Or did he?)
Hoekstra offers peek into C Street [The Detroit News]
He left because Ensign et al were keeping all them fine bitches for themselves.
fellowship=circle jerk
azw88: Fine bitches? Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham and Darla Shine? There’s a reason they’re on radio.
So Hoekstra is saying two years with no head screwing, whatever that is.
Hmmm, lots of references to “head” there. Fellatio fixation much, Pete?
Since when is “fellowship” a verb? What does it mean to fellowship? Is this old-man denture talk for “fellatio”?
If talking about Jesus kept Hoekstra’s head on straight, I’d like to know what kinda conversations they had. Was there ever a topic like, “If Jesus arrested an innocent Afghan cabbie and strung him up inside an airplane hangar and beat him to death over the course of ten days — would he use a wooden bat or an aluminum one?”
“Laying on of hands…anointing with oil…speaking in the unknown ‘tongue’….” Now we can add getting “your head screwed on straight” to the acts the lads with perform in the old rectory.
Rectum? It damn near killed ‘em!
“We’d fellowship, we’d pray, we’d talk about Jesus, and we’d eat,” Hoekstra said. “In the headiness of Washington, D.C., it’s trying to make sure you keep your head screwed on straight.”
Head, screw, more head, more screw…straight fellows play and eat ….
Wanna bet how many calls Maddow’s placed to Hoekstra’s office, looking for a sit-down? I’m saying in excess of 700.
Hung out and “fellowshipped” with a bunch of other guys. Now I know what it’s like to be in the Village People.
In the morning, the C Street residents would pile into the communal Mikvah, get all soapy and spalsh and spalsh. Such ended when they discovered that this is how the AIDs is spread.
“We’d fellowship (circle-jerk), we’d pray (stress positions), we’d talk about Jesus (hunky latino gardener with an beautiful uncut cock), and we’d eat (rimming):
I broke the code! Dang, you’d think think these guys could just use the hanky code like any self-respecting leather bar slut.
http://alt.xmission.com/~trevin/hanky.html
It’s hard to talk about Jesus with a dick in your mouth.
“he’d gotten what he needed out of his visits”
Uh-huh, he spent all his little swimmers.
Yeah, going to C street to keep your head on straight makes sense — in the same way that destroying a village in order to save it does. Only these nutballs are now talking about destroying representative democracy to save it from the jeebus-haters.
I’m betting the C Street house is a lot like the Blue Oyster Bar from Police Academy
Reporter Thaddeus Harris: Hey! Why didn’t you guys call me this weekend?
Congressman Pete Hoekstra: Well, nothing really happened, sir.
Reporter Thaddeus Harris: There was a party at C Street, wasn’t there?
Congressman Pete Hoekstra: Yes.
Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris: Well, what went on?
Governor Mark Sanford: Dancing, sir. Mostly dancing.
Reporter Thaddeus Harris: [to himself] Dancing?
Chickensmack: first off beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and maybe I overstepped it when I called them fine, but the are bitches
“I went to C-street to get my head screwed on straight. Now I know how Frankenstein’s monster felt.”
“We’d fellowship, we’d pray, we’d talk about Jesus, and we’d eat,” Sounds like a version of 9 1/2 Weeks where the part of Kim Basinger is played by several fat, pasty Congresspeople in panda suits.
In this fellowship of the ring, the “middle kingdom” was where one found nirvana.
Recovered from Hoekstra’s twitter:
“Fellowship buttfuckery similar to what we did in House last year when Republicans were shut down in the house”
ManchuCandidate: The inherent problem can be seen in an old joke:
- Why do Baptists not make love standing up?
- They are afraid someone will see them and think they are dancing.
C-Steet prayer is very short and to the point: Lord, please don’t let my wife know…..
“I went two years without getting my head screwed on straight. Now I know exactly how Sylvia Plath felt.”
I think by “fellowshipped” Petey means they’ve all seen each other’s taints, and then they prayed about it. Who elects these charltons?
Jesus prefers Ben’s Chili Bowl and Hawaiian Pizza.
freakishlystrong: Who elects these charltons? Mr. Heston is dead and thus ineligible to hold office.
“Hoekstra said he stopped attending meetings about two years ago, saying he’d gotten what he needed out of his visits. “
So, either a Mistress or a raging case of genital warts, right?
Pete, sweetie - if you have to keep explaining, you’re not helping.
(Alt-Alt Text) Blueberries - mmmmmmm!
user-of-owls: Gaaahhhh…Monday.
Hal Sparks is going to be in town towards the end of the week for a couple of gigs at Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse and said that he’s gonna head over to C St. for some pictures and a lookyloo. Should be comic gold.
ForTheTurnstiles: to “Fellowship” means to gather a group of people and take a magic ring into the dark lands (New York) to throw it back into the place where it was created (the diamond district) in order to save humanity from being thrown into darkness (socialism).
Bruegel the Younger or Breugel the Elder? I can never remember which was the bigger horndog. However, I’m giving the pig/horse/camel fucking a big thumbs up!
Country Club Jihadi: Hawaiian “pizza” is an abomination. Got to believe the C Street boys ordered three or four of them every night, while fellowshipping about Jeebus.
I fellowship
You fellowship
He, she, it fellowships
Okay, I tried, but it’s not a fucking verb! Can you understand that?
We attended several parties there, and at one party, someone rode a motorcycle up the steps, everyone was wearing togas, a band was playing ’60s rock, everyone was dancing in togas, and one of the congressman slept with the wife of a small-town mayor. Also, a congressman poured mustard all over himself! And they were chugging whiskey straight from the bottle! And one time, Steven Bishop was playing songs on his guitar for everyone!
“That sounds exactly like my college years actually, except change “fellowship” to bong hits, “pray” for going to keggers, “talk about Jesus” with “talk about girls,” and “we’d eat” with “order pizza at 1 in the morning.”
Oldskool: “gotten what he needed out of his visits” = confirmed that, yes, he was in fact a top and not a switch.
V572625694: Like Turnstiles said, I think he meant “fellatio up.” Say it fast.
PopeyesPipe: Fucking hilarious. Bravo…
ForTheTurnstiles: I sure hope so!
OK, I give up. What is that image, “Wild Times on C-Street”?
PopeyesPipe: not that the would, these guys DO have manners, after all. You won’t find them with their elbows on the table even when bent over it.
Their version of Jesus is Mammon: unbridled capitalism and sucking narcissim. I want to paint a upsidedown pentagram on their brownstone, but I don’t want insult real satanists.
As a “religious” sanctury, does the C street bordello, er.um, sorry- i mean “house”, qualify for Tax-Free status as a Christian no-tax unit?
why do we let those Christers con us and the IRS so easily? Let’em pay TAX like everybody else.
sowbelly: He just went down to the super-secret B street house and has been in “fellowship” there for 2 years. Luckily the media hasn’t found out about the head screwing going on down there yet.
V572625694: Why, we are fellowshipping right now, here at the internets.
I use to think that Margaret Atwood’s “The Handmaid’s Tale” was purely futuristic fiction. The more I hear about C Street the more I am reminded of that “novel”.
ForTheTurnstiles: In addition to being beyond morality because, in their words, they are the “new chosen” (the Jews having broken their covenant with god, you see,) The Family have also been empowered by Lynne Truss to verbize any nouns which may aid in obscuring or hiding their activities from those who elected them to public office.
A Christian friend of mine was “disfellowshipped”–kicked out of her church–because she divorced her husband. Cause good Christians all know teh wimmins can’t be trusted to make decisions.
About Japanese Tentacle Porn analogy.
It’s sick and disgusting.
But if you mean the animated/illustrated kind then it’s all right.
I’d rather watch Taimanin Asagi than have to see
these C(ock) Street types do when they say “Fellowship”.
Then again, I’d rather watch Taimanin Asagi over almost anything.
V572625694: I’ve never understood that “verb” either.
It’s fucking annoying.
Same way I don’t understand “winningest” or “monies”.
No, honestly, I don’t think those should be words.
“we’d talk about Jesus…”
Aha - the smoking gun! I understand this Jesus fella had two dads…
Hoekstra said he stopped attending meetings about two years ago, saying he’d gotten what he needed out of his visits.
A blow job from Steve Largent?
I’m pretty sure that under DC law, if more than 5 Congressmen live in the same house it’s considered a brothel anyway. Why beat around the bush….no pun intended….
This one time at band camp we all drank a lot of schnapps and smoked some weed and then fellowshipped each other until the camp counselor showed up and made all the girls leave and so then we just fellowshipped the dudes.
Mr Blifil: Don Juanquete: Hieronymus Bosch, isn’t it?
Linz: Don Juanquete: Mr Blifil: SKS be steeling my pik-shers.
So they didn’t get together with J-girl tentacle monsters?
Zhu Bajie
Mr Blifil: Hieronymus Bosch, The Garden of Earthly Delights. Hell is in the next panel.
Zhu Bajie
Wait, is “fellowship” like a “sexual congress” or to “know” someone in the biblical sense of the word?