Wonkette
NOW GO MAKE BEAUTIFUL SPACE BABIES: The two non-diapered members of the Astronaut Love Triangle have gotten engaged, while the nappied hypotenuse awaits her December trial. This is the most important news in the history of space exploration, aside from that time NASA filmed the fake moon landing at an abandoned Encino drive-in. Congratulations to the happy couple, Bill Oefelein and Colleen Shipman, who now live in Alaska. [Reliable Source]
Rock on Laika! (aka Muttnik)
In space, no one can hear you pop a boner.
Spacesecks!
facehead: Depends.
Nowak better get the jumbo pack of depends for that road trip.
Era rusa y se llamaba Laika
Ella era una perra muy normal
Paso de ser un corriente animal
A ser una estrella mundial.
LittlePig: Sad to say, Laika died a few hours after launch do to malfunctions with the Interweb. The plan had been for her to live in space for a few days first, and then to die.
Within the next year, Bill and Coleen will announce the birth of their son, Anakin Skywalker.
The square of the hypotenuse is always crazier than the sum of the squares of the two sides. It’s the Pythagorean Theorem of Love.
rambone: You’re the guy that wrote Falco to tell him Mozart was dead, right?
Tag “Spaceballs” is missing.
This is the most exciting thing involving an astronaut since Buzz Aldrin punched that lunar-landing denier in the face.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOo6aHSY8hU
When I was 3, my mother said to me
Eat up your greens and say your grace
While on TV they put a dog in space
And left here there
you should’ve seen her face
When I was 5, the dream was still alive
And Walter Cronkite said: “One day we’ll earn our daily bread
Conducting things in outer space”
But still on earth I thrive
and you pretend I’m not alive
And walk by with my substitute
While I fasten the oxygen valve on my space suit
So, space cadets move to Alaska, BFHD! Queen of the Space cadets is the soon-to-be
QUITTEREx-gov.SayItWithWookies: I thought space cowboys relied on the Pompitous of Love.
We need HoboSpaceJunkie to weigh in on this…
rambone: Before the launch, one of the scientists took Laika home to play with his children. In a book chronicling the story of Soviet space medicine, Dr. Vladimir Yazdovsky wrote, “I wanted to do something nice for her; She had so little time left to live.”
Now I’m gonna be bummed out all day.
“nappied hypotenuse” is the greatest two-word combination in the history of English prose. The rest of us can all just give up now.
The part about living in Alaska appears to be true. How fitting.
After Mary Kay Letourneau’s husband fled there, Alaska has become the happening destination for the sane corners of crazy love triangles. They ought to put it in the brochure.
Alaska — where they’ll be filming the Mars “landing” and “polar exploration.”
If we can blame KMFDM for Columbine and Catcher in the Rye for John Lennon’s shooting, then I say we can blame Cyndi Lauper’s “I Drove All Night” for that whole sordid affair.
jfruh: You beat me to it. That is one hell of a muse Ms. Sara’s got going for her.
Let’s not forget about Miss Baker, the “first US monkey” to fly in space and return alive. Too bad she had to live out her days in Huntsville.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=104578202
she had to live out her days in Huntsville.
Laika got off easy.
jfruh: Also beat me to it. Inspired prose, SKS. We are humbled in your presence.
user-of-owls: hobospacejunkie: jfruh: Sara is so awesome that one needs a better adjective to capture her awesomeness. How about “cool”?
hobospacejunkie: It’s fitting that they’ll be filming Capricorn 2 in Alaska, seeing as how they filmed Capricorn 1 in Arizona.
I’m not a match maker and I don’t play one on TeeVee, but I think David Vitter and former astronaut Lisa Nowak ought to get together and compare notes if you know what I mean.
jfruh:
I’m considering legally changing my name to Nappied Hypotenuse.
InsidiousTuna: Really. I wonder if the kids ever asked their father whatever happened to the cute puppy he brought home the other day?
“Oh, her? I put her on top of a rocket and blasted her into outer space where she perished. Now get my vodka before I do the same to you.”
Extemporanus: I wrote out a long reply & submitted comment but it’s apparently been lost to the ether. And I must go now. Because I am crazy.
♪♫some call me the space cowboy…
…and I think it’s gonna be a long, long time♪♫
InsidiousTuna: This oughta cheer you up:
The Taco Bell chihuahua died last night of a stroke.
Yo quiero tostada quemada!
rambone: Learing that was like the first time I played skifree and got past the 2000 m marker.
hobospacejunkie: Maybe it got snagged in Steve Cthulhus’s ban-net? I was finally able to comment on that post, but only after giving Mr. Layne a handjob with my mouth.
Anyway, give my regards to Major Tom, and godspeed!
V572625694: a stroke?? What, did he start slurring his words, slobbering out of one side of his mouth and start leaning to the left? What does a stroked-out chhuahua sound like, anyway?
SKS’ particular usage of hypotenuse should be in the New Oxford American, I dare say. Wholly original.
hehehe - “the nappied hypotenuse”
LOS ANGELES ANNOUNCES MASSIVE FUNERAL/MEMORIAL CEREMONY FOR TACO BELL SPOKESDOG
LAPD Overtime Allocation To Top $4.5 Million
(Los Angeles, CA)
In an emergency session earlier today, the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors authorized an anticipated $4.5 million in police and emergency services overtime for the anticipated public funeral for Gidget, the Taco Bell spokesdog.
“She charmed millions without ever saying a word, and managed to make fast food tacos adorable,” the Board stated in a press release. “And the City otherwise would just waste the money on schools or healhcare or feeding the homeless.”
Gidget, the Chihuahua best known for her Taco Bell ad campaign, died from a stroke on Tuesday night at age 15.
“She made so many people happy,” says Gidget’s trainer, Sue Chipperton. PEOPLE met both Gidget and Sue at a Hollywood animals photo shoot in February, where the pup was a consummate pro and delighted the crew with her playful nature.
The mostly retired actor lived out her days laying in the sun – “I like to joke that it’s like looking after a plant,” says Chipperton. “You know, a giant stoned gas giant.”
Chipperton refused to comment on reports that Gidget actually was a male dog, and had sexually molested child guests at the deceased star’s Wonderburrito Ranch. “Gidget was a VERY friendly dog,” Chipperton told reporters. “And what’s a little leg humping between good friends?”
A variety of Gidget’s friends are reportedly planning to attend the funeral, including Liza Minelli, Diana Ross, and Madonna. “You know, the usual bitches,” a press aide noted.
That is one hot astronaut. Don’t tell me they’re not doing the sexy time in space.
“Nappied Hypotenuse” would make a great name for a band.
azw88: It kept saying “doesn’t anyone else smell burning toast?” in Yappy Dog.
Extemporanus: Last words: “Yo soy Taco Bell…”
Oh, heck, in light of that Taco Bell dog dying, I might as well paste a link to the whole Mecano song. Ruf in peace, doggies.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x16v2c_mecano-laika_music
SayItWithWookies: “Pythagorean Theorem of Love” I think that’s the title of Flavor Flav’s next TV show.
jfruh: This is so totally true. My life will not be incomplete until I can use “nappied hypotenuse” in a sentence that makes something close to sense.
This is old news, also. the Anchorage Daily News had this last week. And the dude in this sordid affair (affaire?) grew in in the Frozen North, so it’s all good–y’all just missed the news because you were reading about how Sarah P was field dressing a Walrus or whatever.
Alaska is also far from the predations of the nappied hypotenuse. Ha! I got to use it!
I am sorry____I am so fuckin sorry,
That I was such a fool,
ETC, ETC. ERATTA…..
HOLD MY MEMBER,
THE WRONG THAT’S BEEN DONE,
I COMBINE EVERY STUPID MOTHERFUCKER…
FROM THOSE WHO SHOT JOHN….WHOOP DEE DOO
TO THOSE WHO BELIEVE GEORGE W. BUSH CAN FLY A FIGHTER JET…IN COMBAT…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
BEHOLD MY MEMBER…You idiot bastards probably thought of the Speaker of The House…………CUNTERNIVEROUS……..OOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSS
I fucked womenhood…….
I am banned……alas poor youric….
Give me some skull