WASHINGTON, DC, 02:30 AM, FRI NOVEMBER 27 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS
FREE CANDY

Dr. Pedobear Will See You Now


No, not at all! According to famous wingnut blog “The Drudge Report,” it is about a giant looming Pedobear who will “fix” your “health” by, uhm, raping children. Is that what you people want?


3:31 PM on Tue July 21 2009
By Ken Layne
2848 Views

  1. NoWireHangers says at 3:35 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Cousin of Sexual Harassment Panda.

  2. Hooray For Anything says at 3:37 pm, July 21st, 2009

    What was the symbol of Communist Russia? The Bear. What is China’s most famous animal? The Panda Bear.

    I think we all know why he chose a bear as his symbol for health care. WAKE UP SHEEPLES!!!!!!

  3. DO YOU WANT DR. PEDOBEAR ADMINISTERING YOUR PROSTATE EXAM??!?

  4. Suds McKenzie says at 3:38 pm, July 21st, 2009

    I don’t have kids, … so ..er .??

  5. nappyduggs says at 3:39 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Sound and furriez, signifying nothing.

  6. Doglessliberal says at 3:39 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Pedobear is holding the eyeball of a child on a string. He is not only a Pedobear, but he eats the children after molesting them, keeping their eyeballs as trophies.

  7. CrunchyKnee says at 3:40 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Today we are all furries.

  8. SayItWithWookies says at 3:40 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Hey at least it’s not a pointy-toothed clown.

  9. Todd Mecklem says at 3:42 pm, July 21st, 2009

    A bear? It could be a bear. Or it could be a Cthulhoid death-creature listening to an other-dimensional iPod. Either way we’re in trouble…

  10. ManchuCandidate says at 3:42 pm, July 21st, 2009

    I hear that prostate exams are popular among the GOP. Just cause they’re not administered by medical professionals doesn’t mean they aren’t proper (and who the hell calls himself Dr. Manhole Feelgood, anyway?)

  11. Monsieur Grumpe says at 3:42 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Molesto the Bear and Hopey have the same ears. Coincidence?

  12. CuntryFirst says at 3:44 pm, July 21st, 2009

    So this is why Sanjay Gupta turned down the Surgeon General job

  13. ooh eisbear!

  14. Joshua Norton says at 3:44 pm, July 21st, 2009

    It’s really a Furry playing “doctor”. Say “aaaah”.

  15. Extemporanus says at 3:46 pm, July 21st, 2009

    I hope Mama Bear doesn’t find out about this socialist ObamaCareBear®, or she might brazenly rise up on strong hind legs and growl “Don’t touch my cubs!”

  16. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 3:47 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Drudge is right to call attention to this, as it is well known that Brown and Black bears have terrible health care because they are lazy and just sit around eating watermelon while dreaming of tight pussy, comfortable shoes, and a warm place to shit.

  17. kdaddy says at 3:47 pm, July 21st, 2009

    He’s using that big giant bear to scare children and Republicans. Obviously the most
    devious of all Presidents!

  18. shadowMark says at 3:48 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Are we all going to have to learn what scritching means?

  19. FamilyLost says at 3:53 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Isn’t that the logo for Children’s Hospital?

  20. President Beeblebrox says at 3:54 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Extemporanus: “My hardcore Alaska Grown girl hiking…”

    “Hardcore” and “Piper Palin” are not two words that should go together.

  21. Hopey dont play that game says at 3:54 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Why does Drudge hate Trig?

  22. shoulda been Health Insurance Puma.

  23. JoeMac says at 3:55 pm, July 21st, 2009

    A black and white bear and a black and white president, coincidence, I think not.

  24. smitallica says at 3:59 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Terrible symbol for the healthcare reformings. That bear is clearly blind.

  25. Bears. They’re godless killing machines.

  26. Prommie says at 4:00 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Lionel Hutz Esq.: Are you sure you are not Lionel Butz?

  27. Doglessliberal says at 4:01 pm, July 21st, 2009
  28. Doglessliberal says at 4:03 pm, July 21st, 2009
  29. ForTheTurnstiles says at 4:06 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Health care? We have prime ministers…

    GET OFF MY PHOOOOONE!

  30. Extemporanus says at 4:07 pm, July 21st, 2009

    shadowMark: You ain’t my scritch, furra! Buy your own damn fries!

  31. honkyman says at 4:07 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Enuf! How about a moratorium on wingnut loonies? I realize this would deprive Wonkette of most of its material, but there must be lovelier and more humorous things to report on than pedobears, drudges, bitters and birthers, Alaskan quitter governors, Barbie know-nothing fake boobers, etc etc etc. How about just more buttsecks 24/7? Also.

  32. bitchincamaro says at 4:08 pm, July 21st, 2009

    The moment I saw these 2 bears juxtaposed on Rachel last night, I knew I’d be seeing it again here, today. Wonkette has conditioned me, entirely.

  33. mirrorball says at 4:09 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Is this the bear Reagan warned us about?

    There is a bear in the woods. For some people the bear is easy to see. Others don’t see it at all. Some people say the bear is tame. Others say it’s vicious and dangerous. Since no one can really be sure who is right, isn’t it smart to be as strong as the bear? If there is a bear….

  34. Snarkalicious says at 4:09 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Min: I know what your thinking, and yes. That is the new Obama Family Coat of Arms. They had it modeled after their own Goddless killing machine bear, Trig.

  35. hockeymom says at 4:11 pm, July 21st, 2009

    nappyduggs: hahaha, beary good!

  36. Doglessliberal says at 4:11 pm, July 21st, 2009

    honkyman: Well, you might find more buttsecks commentary over here, plus, it is a great blog
    http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?show=blog

  37. Come here a minute says at 4:15 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Chairman Steele’s approach to this issue is centered bottom-up.

  38. If you’re going to link to the Slog, use this link, so that you’ll ger Dom and the rest of the writers. They do good work.

  39. Doglessliberal says at 4:22 pm, July 21st, 2009

    bago: but more buttsecks with Dan’s parts.

  40. Country Club Jihadi says at 4:22 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Stethoscope, or one-eyed zipper snake? Paging Dr. Ben Dover.

  41. Drudge fears national healthcare ‘cuze he’s afraid that they will discover that he is, in fact, completely fucking insane and commit him and his big red siren.

  42. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 4:24 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Is that what you people want?

    No, rabbits are obviously better suited to perform this treatment, both in terms of size and productivity.

  43. Come here a minute says at 4:29 pm, July 21st, 2009
  44. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 4:33 pm, July 21st, 2009

    “Pedolap” is both pithy and appropriate.

  45. Pickle says at 4:46 pm, July 21st, 2009

    I think I know what will be #1 on Colbert’s Threatdown tonight…

  46. Bearbloke says at 4:57 pm, July 21st, 2009

    I love the Government-issue Roofie-flavoured lollypops Dr. Pedobear has…

  47. gurukalehuru says at 5:00 pm, July 21st, 2009

    All of these comments will be placed in the pedo file.

  48. proudgrampa says at 5:08 pm, July 21st, 2009

    I just can’t bear this…

  49. Come here a minute says at 5:14 pm, July 21st, 2009

    From the President of the United States
    To the lowliest rock and roll star
    Pedobear in and he’ll see you now
    He don’t care who you are
    Some get the awful, awful diseases
    Some get the knife, some get the gun
    Some get to die in their sleep
    At the age of a hundred and one

  50. Mumpedo says at 5:14 pm, July 21st, 2009

    smitallica: But he can still smell the menstruation, and if so that patient is obviously not of the correct age group.

  51. assistant/atlas says at 5:14 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Wait, Pedobear can give America healthcare and all we have to do is let him rape a few kids? That’s a heckuva lot better than a trillion dollars or whatever. Hooray, Pedobear! I mean, it’s a lot better deal than we ever got with the Catholic Church.

  52. Mumpedo says at 5:19 pm, July 21st, 2009

    I’m slightly confused about the whole “Mouth Rape” thing. Does the ‘Rapee’ get it IN the mouth or WITH the mouth?

  53. Tommmcatt says at 5:48 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Will this child-raping pedobear be more expensive or less expensive than being dropped from my insurance plan when my dissolute ways finally give me cancer? Because it’s hard to make a decision without all the facts.

  54. Furries performing abortions? That’s Socialized Medicine I can believe in.
    Godot:
    That would be done by Dr. Poo Bear.

  55. FizzyDrink says at 5:58 pm, July 21st, 2009

    There is no bear there….or is there?

  56. lochnessmonster says at 6:07 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Stephen Colbert is going to be terrified. You know how he feels about bears! Obama is doig this just to frighten Colbert!

  57. Rev. Peter Lemonjello says at 6:27 pm, July 21st, 2009

    I wouldn’t worry about it until Obama starts a health care listening tour aboard the Ice Cream Truck Express.

  58. hoosiermama says at 6:32 pm, July 21st, 2009

    honkyman: It sounds like you might need a Wonkette fast. Turn off your computer, go to the park and smell the flowers. Watch the little children play…but not too closely and, for God’s sake, don’t smell them.

  59. GivingForehead says at 10:12 pm, July 21st, 2009

    President Obama?

    Why don’t you have a seat over there.

  60. hamletta says at 11:32 pm, July 21st, 2009

    Doglessliberal: Good “catch”!

    No, really. I used to work for a pediatric medical journal years ago, so I corresponded with faculty at CNMC all the time. I recognized the “pedobear” instantly, which is the mark of a really good logo. Whatever the designer got paid, it probably wasn’t enough.

    Teddy bear + stethoscope might seem so self-evident as to be lame, but Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital’s logo is foldy paper dolls, all uniform and mechanical-like, and it seems cold next to Our Pedobear.

  61. gurukalehuru says at 12:13 am, July 22nd, 2009

    Come here a minute: Spidoosh.

Leave a Reply