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Riley Waggaman
INTERN RILEY GOES LEGIT: Look, he’s writing for the esteemed Internet publication Matt Taibbi’s Still So Mad At Goldman Sachs. His beat: college and whoring, two topics upon which he is a National Authority. Check it out! [True/Slant: The Diploma Mill]
3:23 PM
on Mon July 20 2009
By
Sara K. Smith
1148 Views
Wonkette
Awwww. A puppy dry humping a keyboard…
College councilors? I thought that getting good marks, showing that you had a life outside academics and were functionally literate, helped. Who gives a shit how you dress? If college is only for pretty people, you’d have no one in engineering and sciences… (I’m an engineer by trade so I’m rather familiar with that.)
I’m with Riley on this one.
It’s a lot harder to read his articles without the random capitilization, but well done anyway Riley.
YOU CAN TELL THIS IS SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS BECAUSE OF THE CAPS LOCK
ALSO THAT FONT AT T/S (HURR DURR) IS HUEG
So how important does Riley have to be before he gets his own Gravatar over there?
Maybe Riley can write his first professional article about his long-standing love of melon-breeding, with tips for novices…
Dogwatersportsporn is HAWT!
Not being accepted to Harvard is WORSE THAN PROLIFIC BRAIN CANCER.
That’s very insensitive, Riley. Ted Kennedy went to Harvard and now he’s dying of Brain Cancer. David Denby is not amused.
“A puppy dry humping a keyboard…”
Actually, the image is too small to tell, but doggie’s taking a leak on it.
A fitting tribute to interns everywhere.
Upwards of fifteen grand to shepherd someone’s college application process? What kind of spoiled, drooling idiots must these people’s children be? My dad had a different and far cheaper method, consisting of being enough of a prick to make me desperate to leave the house, bugging the hell out of me while I typed up (with a typewriter, remember those?) my applications, and then bitching constantly when I didn’t choose the college he wanted me to go to. Which made me the magnificent example of upstanding citizenship that I am today. (sobs quietly)
Joshua Norton: I just assumed it was because he was underpaid and couldn’t afford one. Maybe after Politico picks him up, that will change.
I went to college for 8 years and never met any intern whores. What a gyp. Damn you Ohio State!
Puppies, we just ate.
Oh, and Riley: I came from one of two bacon-eating secular Jewish families in the Christian Jihadi Wheaton. I lived four blocks from the Billy Graham Center, so I’m very offended. The Reagan years were such a wonderful time!
maybe in 20 years John Boehner will talk to him, or even look in his direction.
Binghampton is probably an OK college if you’re not an immigrant.
Alt Text: Republican indoctrination of small children continues.
Woah! Easy on the italics there Riley!
The name of the website is True/Slant, not ALL/Slant.
Today we are all impudent puppies peeing on laptops. Never forget.
Does that mean he is leaving? Cause I think Wonkette without Riley is like Hall without Oates.
FWIW, there are bottoms of mine shafts that have more days of sunlight than Binghamton, NY.
Riley, I hope you already have a notarized copy of *your* college transcript in hand, because you are on the university blacklist now fer shure and certain computerized alterations have already been made.
You may also notice that you now have $1.2 million in student loans arrearage being dunned on you, so good luck with that too.
Good job, Waggers. All the best with the college whoring thing.
SayItWithWookies: hmmmm, sounds familiar, except for me, it was my mother shrieking at me and reminding me constantly that I’d better get a college degree or else! There was something about the so-called “greatest generation” that motivated most of us to get outta the house asap. I didn’t need no counsellor to hold my hand when applying for college. I was on it! Maybe it prepared me for putting up w/the nonsense that occurs daily at work.
But: awwwwww cute lil puppy peeing onna keyboard. I want one!
Besides it’s campus looking like an industrial park and the “show your perky tits to the rich donor” thing, the largest blemish on Binghamton’s reputation is that Camille Paglia was graduated from there.
********
Credible?
http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c290/BeachesGalore/ElizabethWilliams-BMTL.jpg
Lawndarts: Lacking a moustacioed bitch?
SayItWithWookies:
paintitblack:
No kidding.
EVERY FUCKING DAY from 8th grade on was non-stop “You need to apply yourself”, “Do Better”, “A- is not the same as A”.
I ended up going to a state university, so clearly my parents did not nag enough. I have started the mind-numbing nagging in 6th grade for my son to insure he will not grow up to be a miserable failure like his parents.
SayItWithWookies: It’s ok, dude. We are here for you.
paintitblack: hockeymom: Ha — well I’m glad I wasn’t the only one.
Someone beat me to it, but can we get Riley a Gravatar, pleaseeeeee!
My ACT score from the summer before my junior year was good enough to get into UT-Austin. Goodbye 1st quarter, hello 3rd quarter of my graduating class. Video game parlors were all the rage back then. I excelled at Tempest.
They grow up so fast… (sniff)
i hope young riley is still in DC and therefore stalkable!
paintitblack: With me, it was me: of the two “best” schools I got into, one was commuting distance from my parents. And my school wanted me to go there. I had to accept then got in the other on waiting list and left the state. (A good choice: Massachusetts and out of NJ.)
I object to the puppy picture.
Intern Riley is cuter than puppies.
hockeymom: Let me guess. U of M, with the rest of the 45,000 Gophers?
dementor:
Hell. No.
On Wisconsin, baby.
It was like a nail into my mother’s heart because I had gotten into Notre Dame, hated my visit there…and went to Wisconsin. My mom almost died on move-in day when she realized two things:
1. My dorm floor was co-ed (suck on that, Notre Dame)
2. Yes, that was indeed a dad moving a keg into his son’s room.
It was a great four years.
The font there is so big, I could read the article without clicking the link. But a bonus: that’s good for the olds.
Good stuff, Riley.
hockeymom: Oh, Madison? Hippie capital of the Great Plains? I was astonished to find out recently that Madison was the epicenter of a huge anti-war movement during Vietnam. That would be a world away from Notre Dame. Bravo for choosing decadent reality over — um — whatever nameless horrors Notre Dame had to offer.