republicans in the news

Fuck off and die, old man.REPULSIVE OLD DIXIECRAT ZELL MILLER STILL ALIVE, AS PROVEN BY THIS RACIST REMARK ABOUT OBAMA: “Miller punctuated his speech with a not-too-subtle racial barb at President Obama, saying he needs to stop meeting with foreign heads of state and that Rahm Emanuel ought to get some ‘Gorilla Glue’ to keep Obama tied to his chair in the Oval Office.” [Think Progress/Politico]

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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71 comments

  1. The Station Manager

    Huh, I had forgotten about this abhorrent old fartsack until just this moment. Thanks for starting my weekend off with a bang, Wonkette!

  2. GooseInANoose

    There’s a joke about “crazy” glue begging to be made, but goddamn it, I’m not going to do it.

  3. Neilist

    How is that racist?

    Now, if he’d said “BLACK Gorilla Glue,” I could see it.

    Or maybe, “Get some velcro to stick that Muslin’s nappy head to his chair . . . .”

    Or, “Used some ‘waddymelon’ to lure the Prez-E-Dint to stay in his cag . . . err . . . Oval Office . . . .”

    But “gorilla”? That’s no “racist.”

    Signed,
    Neilist
    On Behalf of The GOP and Clueless & Bitter Old White Guys Everywhere.

  4. facehead

    [re=364889]smartypants[/re]: Silly, it is made BY Gorillas and they get paid 1 banana a day, which is racist (to bananas).

  5. Georgia Burning

    Shouldn’t leave that door open in the Alzheimers’ ward, especially before med time.

  6. SmutBoffin

    Goddam, Ken must be out on “racism patrol” today. At least these retard-furs are doing what they can to make his job easy. It must be like working a speed trap right next to a Mustang dealership.

  7. George Will's Bow Tie

    Zell prefers good ole fashion white glue only be used in the WHITE house!

  8. Extemporanus

    “Gorilla glue” is code for “nigger cum.”

    The House on C Street has a dispenser in every bedroom, right next to the rope and Gideon’s Bible.

  9. smartypants

    [re=364901]facehead[/re]: Ohhhh, yeahhh, NOW I get it. Sorry, I was a cheerleader so it takes me a minute!

  10. Cicada

    [re=364900]Neilist[/re]: I guaran-fucking-tee that those exact words will be uttered by AM radio jocks across the nation.
    *sigh*

  11. Gallowglass

    Hahaha, Old South. Your racism is killing me inside. Robert E. Lee was at least genteel about that shit. This is just crass.

    I look at racism the same way I look at having a weird fetish. Maybe you can’t help it but, dammit, keep it behind closed doors. Don’t discuss it with complete strangers, don’t bring it into the workplace, don’t practice it in public and certainly don’t talk to reporters about it if you are/were a national politician.

  12. ifthethunderdontgetya"

    Can’t we trade Zell for someone worthwhile who just died?

    How about we trade Zell for Sky Saxon?

    I’d even be willing to sweeten the deal with Joe Lieberman and Dianne Feinstein, if Death is in the mood to drive a hard bargain.
    ~

  13. smartypants

    [re=364905]SmutBoffin[/re]: Plus, we might get all the way through a news cycle without mention of the Shilla from Wasilla. Racism and sex scandals–yay!

  14. ManchuCandidate

    Dell’s a good ol’ boy
    Never meanin’ no harm.
    Rants on ’bout Darkies
    Been in trouble with his mouth
    Since the day he was born

    Bitchin’ ’bout the times
    Rant’n ’bout blacks
    Someday insanity might get ‘im
    But reality never will

    Rant’n his way
    The only way he know how
    That’s just a little bit more
    Than sanity will allow.

    Rant’n his way
    The only way he know how
    That’s just a little bit more
    Than sanity will allow.

    Dell’s a good ol’ boy
    You know the goobers love him
    But he don’t understand
    Dems keep a mockin’ his rants and call him traitor

  15. springfield_meltdown

    Even a joke about the late Billy Mays and mighty putty would be in better taste.

  16. ThePerfesser

    Best political nickname ever: Zig-Zag Zell.

    Now time to send him to his Padded Zell.

  17. CaiteeCruelle

    Hey, they have four days to make up for with the black jokes–too much attention paid to the uppity Ivy League messican Ricardo lady who dared call herself “wise”. I expect a bolus of racist jokes reports on Wonkette through Monday night.

  18. the problem child

    Note to Wonkette: Glue doesn’t work so well for the tying of things. Bondage is a different joke.

  19. ElRat

    Why do I get the feeling that over the past three weeks or so, someone has solved that dayum evil Rubik’s Cube from Hellraiser?

  20. SayItWithWookies

    That’s Zell for ya — continuing some fine old traditions, such as eating paint chips, drowning kittens and improvising racist memes like he’s been doing it all his life.

  21. freakishlystrong

    Jesus, can we just go? Take our bright, eloquent President and go live on the moon or something? We can leave the right-trash down here to dwell in their Idocracry..

  22. jetjaguar

    Gorilla Glue is bullshit. Liquid Nails, the heavy duty version, is where it’s at. Poser.

  23. Cape Clod

    Leaving aside his idiotic comments, perhaps Obama wouldn’t find it neccesary to spend some time meeting overseas with other world leaders if the mongoloid that Zell supported at the Republican convention in ’04 hadn’t left so many shit stains on our country’s reputation.

  24. azw88

    Breaking news: RNC Gorilla tells press:
    “How is this racist? Gorilla glue is a real product and Obama is after all, Black. What’s so wrong with what the White man said?”

  25. suchsweetthunder

    [re=364890]4tehlulz[/re]:

    B-a-n-a-n-a-s.

    That Zell is bananas. B-a-n-a-n-a-s.

  26. Come here a minute

    [re=364949]jetjaguar[/re]: Pres Obama globe-trotting president needs to stop and take a break and quit gallivanting around. When you are a “hammer” u think evrything is NAIL. ZELL is no NAIL.

  27. smartypants

    [re=364945]freakishlystrong[/re]: No. Because then the terrorists win. Also, the Rand-tards would try to go with us because they’re all about shrugging when the going gets tough. We’re better than that, also funnier. Truthier, too. Did I mention smartier?

    Stand up and fight, I say…fight with all of the snark in the fiber of the windmills in your mind!!1!

    Country first….age before beauty!!1!!11

    Bumper sticker sayings!!!1 Emoticons!11!! Pillow-stitchery and car magnets!11!!

    Lee FUCKING GREENWOOD!!!111!!!

    Whoa. I think I need a cigarette.

  28. norbizness

    [re=364962]ManchuCandidate[/re]: He considers Crazy Glue to be a disreputable slur and he and other reality-impair-icans.

  29. paintitblack

    Apparently, there is such a product as Gorilla Glue, but I ain’t buyin’ that Zell just happened to “think” of it whilst describing Hopey. Too much racism this week from the right = righties feeling entitled to pile it on even more. For 21% (or 28% or whatever they constitute) of the population, these asswipes need to STFU, already. Enough.

  30. lennixlewis

    Yeah, Zell, ur doin it rong…it’s supposed to be a “subtle racial barb” that can be emailed to lots of other southern whities who can “huffaw” and “guffaw” in a totally subtle and ok way!

  31. Capitol Hillbilly

    “he has sold his southern soul for a mess of dark pottage.”

    actual Zell quote about LBJ in 1964.

    Once a Dixiecrat, now a crazy cat.

  32. finallyhappy

    I am tired of the racism and stupdity of so many Americans. I realize Wonkette is supposed to be funny but sometimes I just have to hate these morans. This is when I wish I had superpowers that could reach out and seriously stifle.

  33. Pickle

    Chris Matthews should have taken Zell up on his offer to duel. Then maybe we wouldn’t have to be dealing with him today.

  34. prophet1195

    Yep. Mathews could’ve asked for a dark alley for the duel and thrown in a ringer, Barry Bonds.
    Ka-Pow. Zell’s last words, “Dah South will rizz agin, muh Deah. Now, ouch”.

  35. Extemporanus

    [re=365090]Pickle[/re]: Maybe Obama could challange Zell to a gluel. Or Rahm could challenge him to a Jew’l. Or…or…

    I’m sorry. I’ll leave now.

  36. schvitzatura

    [re=364900]Neilist[/re]:

    Yes, it would have been overtly racist had Emperor Zellatine had referred to Obama needing to be immobilized in his Oval Office chair via a generic negroid great ape/simian adhesive.

    The Gorilla Glue Company is based in Cincinnati, Ohio and has been selling Gorilla Glue for over a decade. The glue was first discovered being used in Indonesia on teak furniture, but consumers soon found it to be incredibly versatile and demand soared.

    Really Zell is trying to point out the ZOMGIndoMuslinBlowUpMarriotInvasion angle!

  37. BobLoblawLawBlog

    I think Zell is suffering from the same affliction Corbyn had when he channeled Ricky Ricardo to Sotomayor: He’s accidentally speaking his internal monologue, as it tells him what the “nightmare scenario” thing to say might be. Then again, maybe they’re both just racist old fuckwits and I’m giving them too much credit.

  38. Humpback

    You know, it’s easy to focus on the implied racial slur here. But let’s not ignore the idiocy of the rest of Zell’s statement–that the President of the United States ought not to talk to foreign leaders. That part is really stupid.

  39. trickyrick

    [re=364900]Neilist[/re]: You are so right! The white goppers defense exactly. brilliant.

  40. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=364920]ManchuCandidate[/re]: It’s ‘Zell’ — and I think I’m due royalties now for the use of that tune.

  41. Mull_Man

    Of course he was referring to Gorilla Glue™. Only morans use polyurethane based glue; for any given application it is inferior to PVA, epoxy, hide glue, cyanoacrylate, urea based, etc.

    I though crackers understood wood bonding. Jebus, doesn’t anybody know anything anymore?

  42. Marlowe

    How ’bout emptying a whole bottle of Gorilla Glue in Zell’s mouth.
    Put it on a webcam and we can eat a banana while it’s done.

  43. Holding Out for a Hero

    And nobody has reported on Rahm’s response to this suggestion? I’m thinking that it was very loud and caused other WH staffers to assume that Rahm had flunked anatomy in college.

  44. nappyduggs

    Hmmph! Shows what this ignorant rectum face knows. You can’t glue a black person to anything for the same reason black people don’t get head lice-TOO.MUCH.AFRO-SHEEN. Trust me, all that oil keeps a negro nice and slippery.

  45. decora

    things white people like:

    sitting on all-white internet message boards, in their all white apartment building, in their all white neighborhood, talking about how horrible racism is.

  46. DCDC

    Geez, you guys are a bunch of citified pussies. I live on Cap. hill and even I know what Gorilla Glue is. Get your hands dirty, fix the Louis XIV china you broke, go to Fragers. Much ado about nothing.

  47. Gallowglass

    [re=365513]DCDC[/re]: These effete fops probably don’t even repair their own bidets.

  48. free

    Why are those so hell bent against Darwinism in schools, so quick to be the first ones to tie a black person to a gorilla in any circumstance they can find? Famous for his dueling comment at a convention, I’m now thinking it will be with banjos.

  49. AxmxZ

    Am I naughty for immediately thinking of Rahm/Barry dom-sub slash after reading this quote?

  50. LoweredPeninsula

    Points for using the word “gallivanting” in a sentence: +1

    Points for being a racist dick of a man: -1,000,000

    This man was pulled straight from a Civil War re-enactment. This Emperor Palpatine wannabe needs to go back to hell where he was palling around with Nixon, Adolf, and four of the six Lassies.

Comments are closed.