Wonkette
As a famous statistician once said, “Three data points make a trend,” and that is why we can now confidently announce that the Bible study-group-slash-frat house known as the C Street Group stands at the cutting edge of the marital infidelity movement.
Following the sordid revelation of horndog endeavors by Senator John “I shall never ride alone in a car with a woman” Ensign and former C-Streeter Governor Mark Sanford, we were just waiting for another shoe to drop… So thanks, Josh Marshall, for pointing out that former Representative Chip Pickering, another C Street guy, was allegedly stolen away from his wife by a temptress named Elizabeth Creekmore-Byrd who may have done some dirty things at the actual Capitol Hill dwelling where Pickering lived with all these other SINNERS.
You know how the investigative newsmagazine shows love to do exposes of seedy motels where they take a black light to the rooms and show, definitively, that every single surface has been relentlessly spattered with human sperm for decades? Take away the free Continental breakfast buffet and you have the C Street house.
C Street on the Skidz [TPM]
If only these Dominionists had dominion over their cocks.
At least we know what the “C” stands for, and it rhymes with “yum.”
As a famous statistician once said, “Three data points make a trend,”
As a shitstained hellpig once said, “Two data points make a microtrend.” The last data point made his dinner.
I think MTV should switch their real world location to C street. I’m sure this pad has a confessional booth.
sweet. this is the same Chip Pickering who helped convert Borat to pentacostalism, right?
of course it is. how many mississippi politicians can be named “Chip Pickering”? Answer: 7.
ManchuCandidate: They’re just using them as God intended.
Damn those C-streeters are no different than bi-penguins, also too.
and the PUMAs are gonna love the fact that Hillary is a long time C-street.
What happens in C Street, ain’t stayin’ in C street no more. Seems like it’s about “c”ocks going into non-wifely “c”unts on a regular basis, including at the “c”hurch of C Street. It’s mainly notable for Republican males actually doing women, rather than men, which maybe why they want to keep it so secret.
Is there a breath-a-lizer test for cock-smokers?
I think the great pioneer Rasputin should be accorded much more recognition than just for causing the Russian Revolution and stuff. What he really did was automate sacred sinning, and he justified to his many conquests the unholy communion thus: Without sin there can be no redemption.
Someone was saying on Maddow that one premise of The Family is that if you’re Truly Good (i.e. one of them) the normal rules of morality don’t apply. This is what got the Anabaptists in trouble in Europe once they decided they could just kill people they didn’t like and take their stuff.
It’s also parallel to American exceptionalism, as practiced by Dubya and the neocons. When confronted with the Abu Ghraib evidence, his conclusion was, “that’s not us — we’re good.” Which I guess wouldn’t piss people off as much as saying, “That’s us, but it’s necessary and you guys will put up with it.”
all successful temptresses should have multiple hyphonated names.
Seamen. Mmmm. They gotta be good swimmers.
I say Wonkette goes and teepees this house. Anyone up for it?
For a Christian B&B, this place seems to have great room service.
SayItWithWookies: Its identical to Ayn Rand’s objectivism, which is the Bible of the Teabaggers, as well. These people people have made a religion of sociopathy. Their philosophy is, literally, I mean this seriously, not as exxagerated, over the top snark, their philosophy is simply a transcript of the internal justificatory rationalization monologue of a narcissist/sociopath, convincing him or her-self that they are indeed superior and entitled, and owe no obligation to any other, whether to help the weak or even refrain from victimizing them.
This is sheer evil, an evil meme infecting its adherents like a disease.
Oh and Sara, you have my permission to use my trademarked phrase, “the fundie frathouse”(tm).
Endless Cummer Keeps Providing.
What if someone took the blacklight to the editors of Wonkette?? Gross findings, I’d wager…
Chip Pickering…wasn’t that the guy with the stallion that wound up dead in the dean’s office?
Man, who knew Repubs had so much sexytime? With people other than their wives? Also.
the Family are the main organizers for the annual national White House prayer breakfasts that Obama was critcised for avoiding awhile back. Man, he just keeps looking smarter and smarter every day. From wiki:
The movement was founded in Seattle in 1935 by Abraham Vereide, a Norwegian immigrant and traveling preacher who had been working with the city’s poor. He opposed President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s New Deal and was worried that socialist politicians were about to take over Seattle’s municipal government.[2][5] Prominent members of Seattle’s business community recognized his success with those who were “down and out” and asked him to give spiritual direction to their group who were “up and out.” He organized prayer breakfasts for politicians and businessmen that included anti-Communism and anti-union discussions.
Um, gross.
I’m at work. I run a hotel. It’s the busy season, so that means I’ll be helping with the housekeeping today. And its only 8:20 here on the left coast, which means I haven’t had breakfast yet.
And now I won’t.
relentlessly spattered with human sperm for decades?
Aw, Sara, you have such a way with words. It warms my heart to think of C-Street as Bukake Central.
takes12no1: It’s about the deification of worldly power.
Safety tip: Don’t stand next to “Family” members, they are due some celestial lightning bolts and you don’t want to end up like Lots wife.
Creekmore-Byrd? Is that an Anglicization of the German Schtoinkweiter-Kielbasa?
“Chip and Leisha Creekmore-Byrd-Pickering cordially invite you to the marriage of their daughter Banana-Fanna-Fo-Fanna…”
Lascauxcaveman: so when are we having a Wonkette conference there?
I wonder if Elizabeth Creekmore-Byrd hates to be called Liz. Liz Liz Liz Liz Liz….
Hypocritical scum.
Prommie: I believe the term is “hubris.” These people are arrogant, supercilious pricks who deserve our contempt.
Who are these women?! If my vageen ever, EVER, got to such a place of cob-webby lonliness that it seemed like a good idea to schtup one of these pasty little trolls, I would have an appointment with a bottle of Jameson™ a needle, and some thread. The whole operation would be shut the fuck down.
You ought to see what goes on at The Cedars. Seriously. I know I guy they kicked out from The Cedars because he was too nerdy and straightlaced. It may be a Christian Men’s club, but it’s a Mens Club nevertheless. Don’t want the geeks scaring off the hotties.
Lascauxcaveman: Todays menu:
- Kielbasa with sauerkraut (I spelled it right the first time!)
- Cream of Mushroom
finallyhappy: Eh, why not? I suppose my hotel prolly can’t get any more sperm-splattered than it already is.
nappyduggs: I heart you.
“Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode.”
Summer of Cum Street?
whatsa wrong with these C St. Christian Brothers gettin a little on the side? Ain’t you guys ever suffered from that old lack-a-nooky disease? and their wives probably don’t provide the necessary libido to keep these good ole boys happy enough to keep up their preening anti-socialist attitudes.
remember all you ungodly wonketers- these dudes are savin’ the USA from the Obamaites, so don’t they deserve that we cut’em some slack heah?
Probably no coincidence that Charles Manson called his group The Family. Also. Classic sociopath ploy.
ManchuCandidate: Masters of their domain, as it were.
The TPM article mentions that the jilted wife is suing the homewrecking paramour for “alienation of affection”. I hope this doesn’t mean my girlfriend can sue Tori Welles.
nappyduggs:
You call them cheerleaders and sorority girls. Pretty, but not as smart as they think they are. Of course, I’d be bitter about it if I didn’t date a couple of them among the many I got shot down by. But then again, I’d be more bitter if I married one of them.
paintitblack: C is for “coochie”?
Noodle Salad: Thanks. Now I’ll need to apply the meth directly to my visual cortex in order to avoid picturing Republican Love Sacks.
nappyduggs: I heart you. Also!1!
ManchuCandidate: I can’t speak to the sorority girl issue, but I was a cheerleader and I’ve never had the urge to have an affair with a sea monkey. I actually thought I was supposed to promote school spirit…probably explains why I never made ‘Head’ cheerleader..hmmmm….
Prommie: I’m with you apart from the “evil meme infecting.” These gods-in-their-own-minds choose to be hateful, narcissistic sociopaths. Let’s not deny them agency in their chosen path.
Prommie: You’re obviously several cups of coffee ahead of the rest of us this morning.
I’m going to copy-and-paste your description so I can refer to it as needed.
“Relentlessy spattered with human spunk” would have been better, the aliteration adds oomph.
Studge: that’s good enough for me
SayItWithWookies: The elect are elected by a higher power; their works are not a prerequisite for salvation, etc. On a related note, this reminds me of the right’s contention that everything “good” is inherently conservative, and everything “bad” not-conservative or caused by liberals. For example, whenever a conservative politician is caught slow dancing in women’s under things with some liquored-up chimpanzee, it’s the fault of Bill Clinton’s penis or Obama’s policies, or whatever. Or when the Bush administration started falling apart, it was deemed apostate, liberal.
Both abdicate responsibility and deny the possibility of fault through acts of creative definition.
And another thing before I go back to my ‘job’…
What have you people done with/to the trolls? I haven’t been called an ‘imp’ in the longest time and that gives me a sad.
Slow Fish: Please don’t, stop, you are embarrassing me. Don’t, stop, don’t stop.
SayItWithWookies: Jesus (pun intended), check out the excerpt from the book about The Family by that guy who was on Maddow last night, at the bottom of this article:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=106115324
Kinda explains Sanford’s “King David” excuse. My God, these are the people we let run our country.
nappyduggs: You know you’ve hit rock bottom when pasty little troll refugees from the Lawrence Welk Show Singers with their pants hiked way up and names like Chip get more than you. At least I have lots of time to read the Wonkette.
SayItWithWookies: Dude! At least the Anabaptist were communist revolutionaries. PLEASE don’t tar them with the brush of the right wing. Remember the Peasant Revolt of 1525 and the Commune of Muenster 1535-6. Kautsky and Engels called the Anabaptists the forerunners of Communism in Central Europe. Luther called them pigdogs and called for their extermination.
[This has been an anabaptist history moment]
If C Street had just been allowed a handful of congressional boy pages, none of this nastiness with slovenly women would have needed to happen.
InsidiousTuna: In.
I guess the question now is, who is the “Pete North” of C Street?
I think Rachel Maddow has the, um, video….
http://crooksandliars.com/tags/c-street
I stopped reading that book about the Family halfway thru, it was just so skeevy and creepy (and depressing). Their whole sense of rightness reminds of that timeless exchange between Robert Ryan and Albert Dekker in THE WILD BUNCH:
“How does it fee to be so Goddamned right?”
“Good.”
Chet Kincaid: Especially frightening is that our elected representatives are so stupid and self-involved that they’re taken in by that cheap sales job.
honkyman: Anabaptism was mostly followed by peasants, who were more used to living communally because they had to to survive. The ideology of their leaders, however, was pretty insane, at least until they became pacifists.
Prommie: Which is exactly the opposite of humanism (i.e. the basis for the Constitition), which is anti-exceptional. Thus, if I have a right, then everybody must have the same right. It’s no wonder those people have no understanding of America’s basic principles.
Prommie: Yes. Self-interest is the only interest. That is the philophy boiled to the smallest.
The idiots though take it to the point that where saving that fucking nickel on taxes is more important than the dollar’s worth of service from the government.
In other words they suck at math too.
SayItWithWookies: Anabapstists killed no one. They wouldn’t even fight back if you hit them. Think Amish before the world got new cool stuff and looked different.
honkyman: Yeah well the Munsterites… Some group Wookies was talking about broke away from the Anabaptists…
honkyman: Oh, so we’re celebrating proto-communists now? Why do you hate America?
Seriously, thanks for that Anabaptist history moment. While he did challenge the all-powerful RCs, Martin Luther was kind of a dick otherwise.
You kiddies are probably too young to remember, but at the famous “Houseboat Summit” in San Francisco after the First Human Be-In, the panelists (Allen Ginsberg, Timothy Leary, Alan Watts, Gary Snyder) discussed the historical roots of the burgeoning hippie communal culture. Among the groups they pointed to were the Diggers, the Brothers and Sisters of the Free Spirit, the Levellers, and the Anabaptists.
Those who do not know their history are doomed to repeat it. YAY
zenferret: Mennonites and the Amish are descended from the Anabaptists — but at the breakup of the Holy Roman Empire, there were violent Anabaptist sects.
There’s a really interesting book about a shipwreck off the coast of Australia (The Wreck of the Batavia, or something) in which the crew and passengers of this merchant ship are left stranded on a series of rocks. One of the officers of the ship is an ex-Anabaptist of one of the violent sects, and sets about forming a posse that kills almost everyone else.
Ah, here it is — Batavia’s Graveyard. An excellent read, with a lot of history of the early Anabaptists in it as background.
Okay, I’ve got to get his in here before I read the entire thread, so let me quickly apologize again for Senator Spooky Doktor Tom, also a part of the Family.
Here is Champoobanana, C Street is a killer gay dance club. Sounds about right…
OK, photojournalists/paparazzi- by now its too late. But you should have stationed yourself outside this place for the last few years photographing the walks-of-shame and finding out who these women were. If you did this, and have been getting blackmail money, kudos. Except, you’ve deprived the rest of us of the fun.
hobospacejunkie: Indeed - even the Lutherans push crazy (racist, jew-hating) ol’ unkle Martin out of the picture…
How can I get in on some of this hot, fundy, Plato’s Retreat/C Street nookie action?
Who was at this little den of iniquity? Steve Largent (R-OK) and Ed Bryant (R-TN), Maine’s John E. Baldacci, Sam Brownback (R-KS), Jim DeMint (R-SC), and Tom Coburn (R-OK); Representatives Mike Doyle (R-PA), Bart Stupak (D-MI), Zach Wamp (R-TN), and former Senator Don Nickles (R-OK).
Ensign, Sanford, Pickering. Any other known associates?
What’s that, you say? A trend?
I’ll see you’re measly 3 data points and raise you hundreds: http://www.republicansexoffenders.com/
So, in the hands of Conservatives, the Bible can be reduced to:
“Bros before Hos, and Hos before wives”?
It’s Bible Belt Babylon people!
SayItWithWookies: I’d thouht more radical/violent groups like the Munsterites were the violent break offs from the peaceful Anabaptists rather than the other way around.
I group up in Mennonite filled Shendandoah Valley.
We had them range from the buggy riders to the black bumpers to the chain smoking beer swilling co-worker at a convenience store.
Ah the Mennonites. Beast place to get cheese in Virginia.
Lascauxcaveman: Well, your hotel is named “Big Dick’s Halfway-Inn”, right?
zenferret: “Mennonites Beast cheese”?!?…so, the Mennonites in Virginia aren’t into the Circumcision, eh?
torera: So was another cult that made little girls make strip-tease videos for their prophet so he could choose which one to rape that day/hour.
Seriously, anything named “The Family” or anything with “Family” (as in Focus On The-) in it just reeks of…well…dirty hotel rooms.
I think we should all send in one pound packages of Salt Peter to counteract all the Viagra they’re obviously consumming in the “C Street Church”.
“The Family was founded in 1935 by a minister named Abraham Vereide after, he claimed, he had a vision in which God came to him in the person of the head of the United States Steel Corporation.”
Sounds like any other wacked-out, Tylenol PM-induced dream I’ve had.
“Dude, you were there but you weren’t you, you know? You were, like, this weird looking…DUDE! That’s it! You were The King from those Burger King commercials!”
Thank the Diety this House can keep its Tax Exempt status!
InsidiousTuna: at first i read it as “toupees” which I’m sure this house is ALSO awash in.
kth: Every high school girl in America just filed the same suit against Megan Fox
Leisha Pickering’s alienation of affection lawsuit (also at the TPM site) is a riot. Among other things, it seems “John and Jane Does 1-7″ assisted in the affair. (I’m not quite sure how she knows their number but not their names.) It must have gotten a bit crowded in Chip’s bedroom at times.
Leisha also seems to have swiped Chip’s diaries and is miffed that a court ordered her to give them back. Here I totally agree with her; the Internet demands those diaries.
From the NPR site: ‘Members of the group ardently support free markets, in which, they believe, God’s will operates directly through Adam Smith’s “invisible hand.”‘
One wonders what else God gets up to with direct access to such an “invisible hand”…
Let the Godly Bukkake Begin!
Christian Polyamory?
InsidiousTuna: Flaming bags of dogshit on all the doors! At their offices, too!
nappyduggs: For some reason, women go for preachers and politicians. Why? G-d knows, but isn’t telling; just laughing.
Zhu Bajie
For some images of how some Anababtists were treated by other Christians in the Sixteenth Century, there is the famous martyrology of Jan Luykens. Almost as scary as the excerpts frpm Sharlet’s book about the Family.
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.gameo.org/encyclopedia/images/mm-bk2-p567.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.gameo.org/encyclopedia/encyclopedia/contents/jan_woutersz_van_cuy
Family values but not behind closed doors. there is a related post at http://iamsoannoyed.com/?page_id=588
The C stands for circle jerk. And cummunion wafer, also.
honkyman: ah, the Commune of Muenster…finally tears in my eyes
honkyman: see also references in “Monty Python’s Meaning of Life”
I wonder how Hitler, Pol Pot and Stalin feel about being linked to these people.
In simpler times this entire fiasco would have been solved with some tar, feathers and a split rail.
Cunt Cult Cavalcade?