Birthers Demand Evidence That Obama’s Baseball Pitch Was Valid And Official

  • Judge Sonia Sotomayor betrayed not a hint of emotion under intense and occasionally offensive questioning on Tuesday — leaving Republicans the perfect opening to argue that cyborgs cannot be appointed to the bench under Sam Brownback’s proposed new legislation. [New York Times]
  • President Obama would like to pump $12 billion into our faltering community colleges. [Washington Post]
  • The House health-care reform bill, which in no way resembles whatever legislation will eventually be passed, proposes to tax millionaires more heavily. And that is why it will never be made into law. [Wall Street Journal]
  • Speaking of eating the rich, everybody get ready for another gush of public bile over Goldman Sachs’ most recent compensation figures. [New York Times]
  • A dozen dead bodies found dumped along a mountain road in Mexico were identified as federal agents. [BBC News]
  • President Obama’s opening pitch at the All-Star Game just barely made it to the plate, with a little help from Albert Pujols. [MLB.com]
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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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43 comments

  1. Terry

    Snark aside, Mexico, my God. Such a beautiful country, wonderful and generous people. They deserve a lot better than this.

  2. 4tehlulz

    >>President Obama’s opening pitch at the All-Star Game just barely made it to the plate

    Tim Wakefield approves of this pitch.

  3. Chickensmack

    If that pitch isn’t reviewed again, an angry soldier will lose his Afghanistan deployment.

  4. ManchuCandidate

    Oil Price Spike. Goldman Sachs record profits. Hmmmm…

    Not SAYING, just saying.

  5. Noonan

    YOU try throwing a strike with 5 inches of steel strapped to your torso under that Sox jacket. Least inconspicuous vest ever.

  6. x111e7thst

    I have it on good authority that Sotomayor’s lack of reaction to the yelling of the mouthbreathers (ok the questions of the Senators) has more to do with Demerol than with any natural state of Puerto Rican Zen. So maybe that’s why Barack broke her ankle. So she could get the loverly loverly drugzzz.

  7. Delicious

    [re=362737]ManchuCandidate[/re]: The rich are ass-fucking us again? America is back, baby!

    And thank Allah that ball didn’t take a George H.W. Bush bounce to the plate.

  8. freakishlystrong

    I didn’t think I could hate (R-Racistville)’s more, until that disgraceful episode they pulled yesterday in the guise of questioning a Latina Supreme Court nominee…

  9. charlesdegoal

    A suggestion for financing health care: a 100-percent inheritance tax on all estates of one million dollars or more, retroactive from 1950. Good chance it would pass.

  10. Mild Midwesterner

    Really? A dead baby joke before 10:00AM? An immigration joke would have worked just fine in its place.

  11. Lazy Media

    [re=362739]Noonan[/re]: That’s his TelePrompTer. You don’t think he improvised that locker room banter, do you?

  12. TGY

    Her fingers scribbled notes as senators asked her questions.

    …Kill…fuck…marry…kill…kill…KILLKILLKILL!!!!

  13. Todd Mecklem

    It was partly Sotomayor’s fault the Repub Senators were snorting at her all day–waving a red jacket in front of those tired old bulls! Sonia wasn’t bothered, though; she was secretly given an infusion of the Prez’s blood before the hearing, and his magic super-chill crystals did their job…

  14. finallyhappy

    BHO said he wore the white sox jacket because he is a fan and Michelle told him he looked cute in it. I am sorry but you could eat up this guy with a spoon(just kidding, Michelle- REALLY!).

  15. TGY

    [re=362742]Delicious[/re]: The rich never stopped ass-fucking us. Even in the depths, they were making off with what was left.

  16. donner_froh

    Sheryl Gay Stolberg has really nailed some of the Sotomayor hand gestures: palms up, come closer; palms down, stop fighting

    However she missed a few: middle finger extended, Hello Sen. Graham; fist clenched: I have something for you, Sen. Kyl.

  17. Servo

    Attention morans of the auto industry:
    Your job is never, EVAH coming back. The age of using connections to land a $30/hr factory job is over. Period.
    There is no magic wand or mystical force that will create jobs. Jobs are created out of necessity. The dinosaur industry that you clung to for decades is gone. Every facet of our way of life is re-shaping right before our eyes. Either adapt or die.
    There are to methods of change: The slow and imperceptible and the quick and painful. Despite the warnings, we all unfortunately opted for the latter.
    Sitting around whining and pointing fingers will get you nowhere fast.
    Welcome to reality.

  18. Nyarlathotep

    SKS sounds a bit snarky. Maybe she doesn’t realize just how hard it is for a cyborg to get past one of those extended Voight-Kampff tests…or perhaps she doth protest too much?

  19. CorkPopper

    Who picked out those “jeans” Barry was wearing? They looked like the male equivalent of mom jeans. That’s not change I can believe in…

  20. dijetlo

    No updates on the Chinese Moon War…When our Overlords are not crowing about our victories, that means we’re getting our asses kicked.

  21. dijetlo

    [re=362775]Nyarlathotep[/re]: Voight-Kampff tests are for clones, you need a dog to spot a cyborg.
    Don’t see any dogs in the Senate hearing room…more bad news…

  22. hobospacejunkie

    The drug war has always been this stupemdously successful. And now we’re finally seeing up close how our winning strategies play out on the ground. I’m sure the response will be something reasonable, because civil war in Mexico is great business for our weapons exporters.

  23. dijetlo

    [re=362809]finallyhappy[/re]: Wrong kind of bitch
    It’s probably just as well, you’d need a phase rifle to drop a SoSo 2000, she’s armor plated.

  24. hobospacejunkie

    Also, Lindsey Graham the Cracker doesn’t like bullies, especially mean brown female bullies. The kind who used to beat her ass on the playground and send crybaby Lindsey home to mommy in tears every day.

  25. Min

    I, for one, welcome our new Supreme Court cyborg overlord.

    A dozen dead bodies found dumped along a mountain road in Mexico were identified as federal agents.

    Damn. There’s nothing funny about that.

  26. DemmeFatale

    At least with Obama, we know that throwing this “pitch” wasn’t the highlight of his life!

  27. Barry White Zombie

    [re=362818]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Somehow I imagine Graham went to an all-white school.

  28. Crank Tango

    You know, this may be beside the point, but I was just thinking that since Obama’s mother was allegedly a white American lady, doesn’t that make him a citizen no matter where he was born? So I looked it up:

    Birth Abroad to One Citizen and One Alien Parent in Wedlock: A child born abroad to one U.S. citizen parent and one alien parent acquires U.S. citizenship at birth under Section 301(g) INA provided the citizen parent was physically present in the U.S. for the time period required by the law applicable at the time of the child’s birth. (For birth on or after November 14, 1986, a period of five years physical presence, two after the age of fourteen is required. For birth between December 24, 1952 and November 13, 1986, a period of ten years, five after the age of fourteen are required for physical presence in the U.S. to transmit U.S. citizenship to the child.

    So… wtf, is the entire right wing only using wikipedia as a reference or something?

  29. gurukalehuru

    Since it doesn’t seem as if anybody else has mentioned it – Hooray for Community Colleges!

  30. Mumpedo

    Anyone else notice Sotomayor’s eyelids go into convulsions during her verbal waterboarding? I believe it’s Morse Code, so far I can make out “Cracker” and “you’re gonna pay for this you little bitch.”

  31. AnAdmirerOfThatOne

    [re=362866]Crank Tango[/re]: Yes, that is correct, he is an American citizen by virtue of being born to an American citizen, no matter where the birth took place. The breathers are upset, however, because he would be the first Pres’dant born outside ‘Murica. Also.

  32. trickyrick

    [re=362895]AnAdmirerOfThatOne[/re]: yeah, yeah, but is he a ‘native born’ son, born on ‘Murican Soil, the Mother land, homeland home boy, blah blah blah
    Native born in Hawaii, not a native Hawaiian? shit, it is all so confusing he cant possibly be eligible for office.

    You can use these ‘doubts’ to escape deployment to Afghanistan like US Army Maj. Cook Chickenshit.

  33. Lascauxcaveman

    Judge Sonia Sotomayor betrayed not a hint of emotion under intense and occasionally offensive questioning

    Oh, I thought rolling ones’ eyes ostentatiously and making fake puking gestures counted as an emotion.

  34. Paul Tardy

    BARACK OBAMA IS NOT A LOYAL AMERICAN. HE IS A SUBJECT OF THE QUEEN OF HAWAII AND A CRYPTO-ROYALIST. HE, AND HIS ROYALIST FAMILY, SHOULD HAVE TO PADDLE BACK TO THERE PEOPLE IN POLYNESIA IN AN OUTRIGGER CANOE. I WILL PERSONALLY OFFER TO PAY THE PANAMA CANAL TOLL TO MAKE IT EASIER. STOP THE CORONATION BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE AND WE ARE RULED FROM A HOTEL IN OAHU. THIS KENYA STUFF IS JUST A SMOKE SCREEN TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE HE IS AN AMERICAN LIKE THE REST OF US. hE IS NOT HE POLYNESIAN CRYTPO ROYALIST, SEE WIKIPEDEIA HAWAII ENTRY, THEY ARE RULLED BY A QUEEN.

  35. desertwind

    Instead of throwing out the first pitch, Barack should have thrown out those dad-jeans.

    Come on, people! Support Michelle and Malia in the crusade against that abomination.

Comments are closed.