Wonkette
- Long juicy Palin story alert! This one features the fascinating tidbit that the governor of Alaska’s hair started thinning, so beset was she by worries following the terrible 2008 election failure and subsequent publicity overexposure. [New York Times]
- Democrats are pretty mad at Dick Cheney for telling the CIA to keep secret whatever that secret thing was. [Los Angeles Times]
- Judge Sonia Sotomayor’s confirmation hearings begin today. Is this person way outside the mainstream, or very mainstream? That depends on whether your name is “Sessions” or “Schumer.” [AP]
- The church founded when a fat married Catholic megalomaniac wanted a new wife is very upset over the ordination of gay American clergy. [Guardian]
- British researchers have found a link between obese parents and their obese children of the same gender: they are both obese. [BBC News]
- New study confirms what Wonketeers have known for years: swearing helps ease the pain. [Reuters]
The Archbishop of Canterbury seriously needs to trim those eyebrows.
What’s with the photo of Palin plunging a sharpie in the chest of a child? Satanic rituals shouldn’t be photographed…it’s a rule. I’m right off my breakfast now…
Wow. I realize that Sarah P and I have something in common except when I end up shaving my head there is an off chance (very small one) I “might” look attractive.
Fuck, fuck, fuckity-fuck, fuck! I feel so much fuckin’ better now. I know, I should watch my fuckin’ language.
The BBC headline, “Obesity link to same-sex parent,” seems to imply that the children of gay and lesbian couples are obese. Thanks for the clarifying rephrasing, SKS.
Fucking swearing is a goddamned motherfucking emotional outlet for dumbfuck ole me. Better to fucking swear than be one of those crazy son of a bitches who bottling that shit up and then go on a batshit killing spree with a motherfucking AK-47.
Sessions: “We’re gonna be dicks to Sonia just ‘cause we can.”
swearing helps ease the pain.
Fortunately, buttsecks hardly hurts at all anymore, and I kinda like the shame and sobbing.
ManchuCandidate: I can’t wait for the tape to be released of our favorite frontier trash tearfully shaving her head so that Ashton Kutcher can run out and tell us how we’ve all been punked by letting Britney Spears run for VP.
“swearing helps ease the pain”
Dick Cheney must feel that standing on the Senate floor is like lounging on the fucking beach.
“Her hair had thinned to the point where she needed emergency help from her hairdresser and close friend, Jessica Steele.”
Hairdresser I can understand, but what did Jessica’s help entail? Hair plug donations from her arm pits?
Also, aren’t most Church of England ordained bishops already gay?
And what is the Archbishop doing at Hogwarts?
Naked Bunny with a Whip:
A sand based lube will bring back that first time feeling. So I hear.
John Cornyn: “Sonia has some splainin’ to do.”
Excuse me, senator. The whole fuckin’ W administration has some splainin’ to do. Good luck trying to escape your well-deserved raking, repukes.
Like how the GOP is bringing a White Firefighter to the confirmation hearing—the one who got Racial Justice from the SC after the racist lady shafted him. He will talk about why we should build that fence, in the water, to keep the Nuyoricans out. Because who are you going to believe on the jurisprudence of Title VII? The White Firefighter or your cleaning lady?
Naked Bunny with a Whip: Um, it’s sounding like maybe you’re not doing it right?
WIDTAP:
The Archbishop of Canterbury has to be waxing those eyebrows so they point to heaven but the really give a nice satanic look. I’m dressing as him next Halloween.
Implants, baby, implants! More sweet crude salmon, Sarah?
If you say “fuck” and then “Sarah Palin”, you will proceed to relieve stress and then create it. Have a good friend do it for a minute and then you can eagerly watch their head explode. Make sure you wear safety glasses for the bone shards.
Autochthon: Maybe I need to upgrade to horses?
If your name is Jefferson Beauregard Sessions the Fifteenth, I really don’t want to know what’s in your mainstream. I suspect it runs the gamut from Billy Ray to Cletus, including crazy Uncle Fritz who has lived in the attic since 1947 and still dresses up in his SS uniform.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: Hey, if it worked for Catherine the Great…
Autochthon: is there footage on da youtubes?
magic titty: Yes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtUb7iZ2wNw
Dear Archibishop of Canterbury: You already have PLENTY of gay clergy. The only difference is that Bishop Gene Robinson of New Hampshire is telling the truth, living out of the closet…he is not married with kids and hiring rentboys once a week for an hour on church funds. Trust me, Archbishop, I know first hand that there are PLENTY of married closeted gay men wearing the anglican collar.
I love this whole homo episcopal clergy things because it’s so refreshing to have the rest of the world hate us for doing the right thing for once.
Four yeses and one FUCK YEAH!
Thinning hair is a definite sign that menopause is on it’s way. But it’s more fun to blame it on teh eeevul libruls. Why not? She blames everything else on us.
If Palin wasn’t such a hysterical drama queen/victim, she might have made a decent politician. Now her life is just going to be a constant game of “Lets see if we can make Sarah cry”.
What’s the difference between a pitbull and a quitter? Lipstick.
I told my surgeon that cursing helped the pain when I got the Lidocaine shots(this is serious, Wonketteers) so he yelled “shit” when he gave me the first shot. That did not help me. Perhaps yelling shit and a shot of lidocaine would help Sarah’s hair loss or obese parents
Monsieur Grumpe: The hairdresser can provide extensions made from the finest moose hair.
The archbishop needs to lighten up. Hell, if it wasn’t for the gay boys, our church choir would be half the size it is now.
Palin needs to buy a Bump It…it’s very Wasilla, by way of Jersey.
norbizness: Jefferson Beauregard has waited 20+ years for revenge for his being denied a place on the federal bench due to his own unconcealed racism. So now his personal vendetta will end up costing his party the brown vote for the foreseeable future due to, you know, his racism. I believe we have yet another candidate for dumbest republican. Yield the floor to Sen. Sessions and let him talk as long as his little white heart desires.
Sarah knows she’ll be pushing 50 around 2012, and she’ll no longer be able to ignite the base’s testicles. Trig will just look like ordinary retarded kid to the base. My guess is that she’ll plop out another human prop real soon….oh but it will be so cute!
hockeymom: I had to google Bumpits. Consider this link my public service to Wonkette: http://www.bighappiehair.com/testimonials.html
hockeymom: BumpIts. Womens’ answer to men resting their beer glasses on their flat heads.
Is it a bad sign that Leahy had the Judiciary Committee hearing room equipped with a stripper pole?
nightshift: So I actually clicked that link. (Yes. I am THAT bored.)
Apparently it was necessary for them to put a disclaimer at the bottom of their page that bumpits, these half-circles of plastic, are not edible. This might explain the obesity epidemic more than blaming it on the parents…
I say leave the Anglican church exactly the way it is today. All the closeted fags being priests and all the fabulous fags being organists.
Todd Mecklem: Nothing says “Mark Of The Beast” quite like a Sharpie!
At last! A plausible explanation for the Palin quit-a-thon.
Actually, drugs and alcohol help ease the pain, swearing just makes it feel good.
My guess she resigned because she got caught putting Rogaine on her government-provided socialist health care plan.
Is the contention being made here that the reason the Church of England exists is due to the fact that it’s founder wanted to fuck a younger chick, and the stodgy old Pope said ‘nope’?