Wonkette
Somehow it seems unlikely that this dude, who vows not to read Wonkette ever again, has read much of it in the past.
Subject: Disgraceful
From: Jerry to tipsYour recent article on Official Romney Portrait Unveiled is disgraceful. I will refrain from your degrading views in the future.
It’s precisely this sort of closed-mindedness that prevents wider distribution of much-needed rectal spindles to populations in need. The disgrace is not ours, but YOURS, SIR.
“Article.” Jerry, heaven bless your simple little soul!
Oh poor little Wonkette, chastised by a spindled one. For the record, that post made me throw up, I laughed so hard. Here’s to more vomit-inducing Romney-on-a-Spindle posts.
Thank the Mormon God they didn’t read the comments on that one. Disgusting.
Was it the rectal peg thing?
I will refrain from printing out this blingee of McMorman Child Toucher, blowing his Phedo-Wad on MCSecondJesus, and eating it.
Or not.
Love Jerry Lee Lewis
Why is Mittens sending mail to Wonkette, anyway?
Refrain from what? How do you “refrain” from someone else’s views? Great writer, moran!
I also feel degraded by your views. Stop mind-molesting me, Wonkette. I’m only going to give you 20 more chances, okay maybe 30.
I smell Mormon. Really, I do. It’s kind of like Gouda cheese.
In Jerry’s defense, it WAS a disgraceful post. Imagine! The nerve of you “internetters”, suggesting that Mittens has an anus! Those of us “in the know” know that the angel Moroni removes bodily wastes from all good Mormons through a hatch in the lower back.
Hey, Jer!! We have not really yet begun. This is the off-season and a holiday weekend coming up. Stick around for the good stuff, buddy.
“rectal spindles” was the WOTD, what’s the prob, Jer?
Before I agree with that individual, will somebody please tell me how that Romney portrait was demeaning? PLEASE?
He’s just jealous because Wonkette raped Mittens with its mouth before he was able to. No Mittens virginity means no gay Mormon heaven, so now he’ll never achieve his dream of the two of them co-ruling their own planet in an eternal blissful man-crush.
Will Wonkette ever recover from the loss?
Meanwhile:
http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2009/07/02/politics/politicalhotsheet/entry5129482.shtml
CBS’ Chip Reid, Gibbs Spar Over “Town Hall”
Who’s Jerry Two Tips?
Does he hang out in a bar, sitting on a rectal spindle while lavishly tipping cocktail waitresses?
Degrading to whom? Sexless robots with an exaggerated sense of religiosity who used to live in Massachusetts? Until that little demographic gets an anti-defamation league, we’ll just carry on…
I read Wonkette for the articles.
Don’t let the door hit you in the rectal spindle on the way out, Jerry.
Well, I guess he told you! I wonder why Jerry Falwell was reading Wonkette- I think he likes Sara or Riley cause he looks really young.
Look, but dont make you eyes strain
‘Cuz a cracka like him is gonna refrain
Must be the same “pro tips” guy from earlier this week. Like good ol’ venial sin, it’s hard not to watch. Or participate.
Well, Newell wasn’t around yesterday. Maybe he wrote it.
Jerry, without these degrading views, you will never understand U.S. American politics.
Those cult religionists may be few in number but they stick together.
Yay! More degrading views for the rest of us!
I’m offended that Jerry wasn’t offended by the “article” about photoshopping Trap or Wilco or whatever. Yet he was offended by the reagan-clown’s pompus portrait.
El Pinche: Yet he was offended by the reagan-clown’s pompus portrait “article”, that is. Whatever. I’m so digusted by Jerry, now I gotta take a dump.
Which one of the Romney boys did this? My bet is on Josh.
magic titty: We better check his underwear. He may have been abducted and converted.
S.Luggo: I would totally hate rape Chip Reid, hard, on tape, and in front of his kids. Like Dade County Dept Of Corrections type shit. Leave him bleeding out in the showers etc.
All while Andy Duphrane watches.
FUCK CHIP REID, deep in his faggot ass.
It was the champale bottle that pushed that one over the edge. Didn’t the golden tablets expressly forbid beverages with bubbles? Damn sacrilege, Wonkette.
Dare I ask what a “rectal spindle” is? I’m too afraid to Google it.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Fine by me. But I called ‘not it’.
Naked Bunny with a Whip:
Not Mittens, his unpaid intern who is hoping to impress him.
DagNabbit: I sense that you kind of dislike Chip. In your visceral anal ripping rape scene, can you include Glenn Beck (and Santa’s evil twin guest saying we need a nucular armageddon to strengthen our security), and Joe the Plunger?
I only come here for the pictures and sweet fleeting glimpses of Jim Newell’s wit.
RoscoePColtraine: Bubble are fine. It’s drinks served warm, caffeinated or alcoholic that God gets frowny about. A warm Kona Moon Porter from Six Rivers Brewery really pisses him off. I agree with him on that one, though, as Kona Moon Porter is best icy-cold and as far from rectal spindles as possible.
No, no. You are all missing the meaning of the descriptor “degrading” as Jerry is using it. He just means that over time Wonkette’s views are degrading, i.e., becoming less “viewy”. He’s just offering a little criticism, one writer to another, ya know.
“will somebody please tell me how that Romney portrait was demeaning? PLEASE?”
Mainly because he was in it.
Was the jizz on Reagan’s face a step too far? Did I cross some sort of line?
germansteel: It’s the spindles. They stack. Like Legos.
He probably would have tolerated it a bit longer until the Mittens portrait got blingeed.
NoWireHangers: Maybe not enough jizz?
Dear Jerry:
If it will make you feel better, we can flog NoWireHangers with a wet noodle for contributing such a distasteful blingee to an already disgraceful post.
Then we will take NoWireHangers out for drinks to celebrate the distasteful and disgraceful contribution.
Do the Super-Power Mormon Underpants provide protection from said rectal spindle?
Smells like the return of Ben Johnson
Crazybroad: Kinky spanking and drinks? Wow, and it’s not even Christmas yet!
NoWireHangers: According to Mark Sanford, you crossed lines, but not sex lines. I finally understand now what he was saying. Painting your illicit lover’s face with splooge, while crossing some sort of line, does not cross the main line like inserting an appendage into an orifice. Finger into his/her mouth, is one example that comes to mind.
NoWireHangers:”Was the jizz on Reagan’s face a step too far?” You are clearly an artist of the Clinical Realist School. You must follow where the Muse leads. Or the jizz.
I’m curious why he didn’t find the 10,000 other rude and offensive posts on this site before yesterday degrading also.
Well, I guess we can safely assume Jerry is on Spindler’s list.
Wow, there’s been lots of worse things said here than the Romney article. Something hit a nerve with that guy. Next time, use lube on the spindle, d00d. Might help to prevent it from getting STUCK when you go to pull it out of your ass.
It was so disgusting, I was forced to close the Cheetos bag, pull up my pants, and go upstairs. Teh-he-he.
“There was Anthony Stabile, Frankie Carbone and then there was Mo Black’s brother, Fat Andy and his guys, Frankie the Wop and Freddy No Nose. And then there was Pete the Killer, who was Sally Balls’ brother. Then you had Nickey Eyes and Mikey Franzese.
Jimmy Two-Times, who said everything twice…
and then there was Jerry Two Tips, who was called that because he was a moron.”
NoWireHangers: It’s Christmas in July!!! And you’ve been such a GOOOOOD Wonketteer!
He talks about rectal spindals like it’s a bad thing.
I think Jerry’s got a spindle up his butt. Wasn’t that in a Zappa song?
He’ll be back. Once you go Wonk, you never… go back to the Bronx. I forget how it goes. Whereas.
gurukalehuru:
“Oh God, I am the American dream,
With a spindle up my butt ’till it makes me scream!”
(http://globalia.net/donlope/fz/songs/Bobby_Brown.html)
Actually, that whole song could probably be about Mittens, with a few twists (”I tell you people, my life was failin’/ till I fucked this dyke by the name of Palin…”)
I thought Mitt looked just his father in that portrait. Spindles and all.
Cicada: I believe the word is ‘eye-raping’.
FYI: No one has seen Tag Romney and Jerry in the same room together.
I’m just sayin’…
Who is Jerry to tips?
um … didn’t we have the southerner with his stomach in the wheel barrow picture yesterday? and the post of Mittens he found unacceptable???
We hardly knew ye
How did he find his way to the offensive “article”? He had to have Googled either “rectal spindles” or “Mitt Romney portrait” and one search is as questionable as the other.
DagNabbit:
Wow; that was pretty sexually angry, huh? Guess what? I laughed so hard at that that I was actually in tears. Does that mean I’m going to hell laid out in clearly in the Jesus-book?
The Texas oil industry began at Rectal Spindletop. Don’t let the sun set on you anywhere west of the Sabine River, Jerry.