Wonkette
Here, take a break from Todd Purdum’s 98-million-word rehash of everything awful about Sarah Palin and cleanse your brain with this bizarre interview the Alaska governor did with Runner’s World! Did you know that Sarah Palin is so weirdly secretive about EVERYTHING that she made the Secret Service swear not to tell anybody about this one time she fell while jogging?
Tell me about a memorable run during the campaign that really stands out.
Oh, my gosh, the one that really stands out I’m embarrassed to death to repeat. I went for a run at John McCain’s ranch a couple of days before the debate with Joe Biden. [...] I fell coming down a hill and was so stinkin’ embarrassed that a golf cart full of Secret Service guys had to pull up beside me. My hands just got torn up and I was dripping blood. …I don’t remember news reports about it?
Heck no! I made those guys swear to secrecy. [...]So the Secret Service guys kept silent?
They did! And I have this great respect for them that they’ve kept silent all these months later.
Wow. See that right there is a pretty explosive secret! Wouldn’t want that kind of information to fall into the wrong hands!
Sarah Palin is INSANE.
I’M A RUNNER: SARAH PALIN [Runner's World]
Duh. Those SS guys are now addicted to V-juice and are lost in some swamp in Louisiana.
Her giant head caused her to lose balance.
Lotsa sprains from the rocky campaign trail.
Apparently she can’t run well in any sense.
Sarah’s still got it. Joe the Plumber can’t even get interviewed by Runner’s World anymore. I give it 6 more months and one more surprise offspring.
“Govnr’ Palin, have you ever ran the Appalachian Trail?”
No doubt the Secret Service won’t say anything about the fetus that fell out either (just for that moment, she knew no one had to know. . .).
Sarah, those of us in the lower 48 have our glasses specially made for our vision. We find we fall, bump into to many things, and say stupid things when we where those pharmacy shelf reading glasses
rereridiculous: Maybe the Yukon Trail.
i’d say wonkette should be proud to consider themselves “the wrong hands.”
I’d say she was speaking metaphorically, but that would give her too much credit.
nope- not reading it. I only read about one crazy Repub at a time. That is my man, Mark Sanford. Sarah is just trying to steal the crazy limelight from him.
The keywords Palin, tripping, rehash triggered one of my most exotic google alarms, but now i am disappointed.
Well gosh, I was so embarrassed when something similar happened to me. Jeepers, I was running in a downtown Seattle neighborhood when some hotties were across the street. I was watching them thinking “golly, they’re hot!” instead of where I was going and *bang* hit the sidewalk after tripping over the darn curb. The hotties just laughed and kept going. I skinned my knee and bruised my ego. Ah Heck.
Also, I understand that this article was in Runner’s World but…
WHO. THE. FUCK. CARES…? She needs to get hit by a bus…
Dear Sarah Palin:
http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/0/03/Give_a_fuck.gif
She has many, many reasons to be embarrassed, falling whilst running is WAYYYY down on the list….
She fell jogging on McCain’s ranch and ending up with hands “dripping blood”? Do the McCain’s landscape with broken beer bottles?
Was she wearing a flag pin? And why no thanks to the men and women of the military? Someone just lost the 2012 primary.
I’m suprised she didn’t mention how proud she was of our military who are fighting in Iraq and Afganistan to preserve her right to run and fall down a fucking hill.
finallyhappy: Agreed. If she wants the limelight back she should either take a hike on the Appalachian Trail or drop dead.
Uh, have Mark Sanford and Sarah Palin met at some Republican Governor thing? Wouldn’t that be a dream(y) ticket?
Kudos to the Secret Service! Not once in the thousands of memorable and newsworthy interviews granted last year by SS men on presidential security detail did an agent tell of Snowturd’s secret shame.
To think that Media Whore Bible Spice (Runner’s World???) tripped and fell and got blood on her hands for MY First Amendment(or whichever amendment it is or maybe the constitution or whatever, giggle, wink) rights just, oh, I dunno, makes me wanna puke.
So she fell and decided to name the kid “Trip”?
WTF - am I unknowingly stuck on some parallel high-gravitational universe. Palin’s 15 minutes seem like they’re never-ending.
I was on a, um, hiking trip in Alaska earlier this month, and saw both the governor’s mansion in Juneau and the Palins’ house in Wasilla. She wasn’t at either one; a tour guide in Wasilla told me that nowadays she spends most of her time in Alaska hanging out at some third, undisclosed location. No, I’m pretty sure it’s not Chris McCandless’s bus.
The SS dudes working Tiger Woods’detail or whatever should have known to immediately shoot her so as to put her out of her misery– and by gum is she miserable.
God, that photo looks like the head of John the Baptist if he was a cross-dressing frog.
Must’ve been a hilarious vision for Putin’s eyes.
If you stare at the photo long enough, she will stick out her tongue and catch a fly.
It’s just a cover story. Them there bleedin’ hands is stigmata.
well, duh, I wouldn’t want everyone to know that i dropped acid during a run for VPOTUS! … oh wait, nevermind.
It’s hard to take a jog carrying a baby and bearing a cross.
I think there’s a typo. It should read:
Sarah Palin is INANE.
Runner’s World??? WTF? Do the people who read Runner’s World really give a fuck about Nanookie of the North dashing through the snow? Editorial FAIL.
She needs to take up cycling so she can do a proper Bush-style face plant. Running is too much like walking and everybody knows that only poor people walk. Democrats like Bill Clinton go running. Does Sarah Palin support the Clinton exercise agenda?
Sarah, thank you, thank you, thank you! I’ve been working on a stage adaptation of the ‘08 election drama and this little story gives me the bloody-handed Lady MacBeth moment that I needed.
I’ve always said that stupid should be painful.
The real secret is the stoopid coont was wearing Christian Louboutin peep-toe stilettos when she was running.
After reading the Vanity Fair piece, all I can say is that if there is any justice in this universe, John McCain will henceforth be required to sign all correspondence as “Sarah Palin’s Creator.”
She swore the Secret Service to secrecy. Next, she’ll have the fire dept put out some fires, or the police dept do something about policing our streets. What a maverick.
A Better American Than YOU: Sorry, it is Ensign/Sanford or Palin/Bachmann for 2012.
Whoops, she was jogging when she was supposed to be cramming for the Katie Couric interview, the little dickens.
Vanity Smurf: As a Runner’s World subscriber, I can honestly say “no”. I get the feeling the magazines subscriber base isn’t a fan of hers to begin with, and just because she falls (what runner doesn’t?) is likely to change that.
The RW article is worth a glance if just for the comments. There are still dozens of REAL `Murkins who LOVE Ms. Sarah, so our entertainment is guaranteed through the 2012 primary season.
So she’s inept and arbitrarily secretive on top of being a know-nothing. Well, at least Dick Cheney would endorse her for VP.
BioCookie: Ha Ha….I just peed my pants. Also.
I heard a long time ago that tripping is a side-effect of post partum depression. No need to be embarrassed about it, Sarah. You were clinically mentally unbalanced. Even your campaign staff says so.
I’d hit it
smartypants: Not gonna lie, I popped a raging woody at your True Blood reference.
What is she, that she can’t run down a hill without falling, some kind of retard?
Most people are hard to demonize. Most people.
Huh? Really? Because I remember when she was getting off the plane on the day of her big debate with Biden and she had a big white bandage of the palm of her hand and Wolf Blitzer said that she had taken a fall while running and skinned her hand. Lying again Sarah?
More Sarah lies in the slideshow:
http://breepalin.blogspot.com/
Fess-up, Palin. One too many beers at the checkpoint.
On-on!!
Fell down? Oh my gosh! Heck no! Land o’ mercy!
I get RW. It is a really great maagzine–good writing, very good stories and articles. I love it. And now this. I am bereft. And fyi, this interview is their monthly back-page interview with a famous person runner (they did Gov David Patterson a month or so ago–blind runner!). So, really, there were no other famous people they could interview? Bad, bad Runner’s World. You’ve tainted my magazine with the foul Alaskan maternal icon opportunist bimbo.
Potater: That sort of high-brow flattery will get you everywhere.
Um, a pose of Caribou Barbie stretching? Isn’t that a bit cheesecake? I thought she wanted to be taken SERIOUSLY.
Sarah is impressed that the Secret Service kept her deep dark secret about tripping — not so much about keeping Hopey alive, DESPITE the crowds at Palin/McCain 08 rallies.
So a dozen or so guys all agreed that they’d throw themselves in front of a bullet/knife and/or on top of a bomb to save a woman who: (a) attended seven colleges before “graduating”, (b) wasn’t sure whether Africa was a country or a continent, (c) had 14 children all named after power tools or geographic landmarks, (d) aspired to be a sportscenter anchor but settled for U.S. America’s least intelligent governor and doomed VP nominee, (e) doesn’t read and (f) cannot take a jog on an Arizona ranch without suffering puncture wounds to her hands AND THE BEST she can do is commend and respect their ability not to yap about her lack of coordination. what about that time they caught Ensign and Sanford eating sushi off you or when they had to explain that the fossil wasn’t a riddle from God?
Ummm,that trail wasn’t called the “red” trail was it?
This line from Todd Purdum’s article is artfully phrased.
“Palin is a cipher by choice. When she chooses to reveal herself, what she reveals is not always the same thing as the truth.”
In other words, lies more than a sleepy dog on a hot summer’s day.
Her next kid’s name: Trip
I’m just a simple cave man, but the way i read it she was running with Joe Biden. I wonder who won that race, oh now I remember, it was the old guy!
widestanceromancer: Win.
My favorite bit in the Vanity Fair article: Several told me [...] that they had consulted the definition of “narcissistic personality disorder” in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders [...] and thought it fit her perfectly. When Trig was born, Palin wrote an e-mail letter to friends and relatives [...] not in her own name but in God’s, and signed it “Trig’s Creator, Your Heavenly Father.”
Sounds like the Presidency may be just a stepping-stone; what she’s really looking for is a spot in the Holy Trinity (Quadrinity?)
Mahousu: “… Meghan Stapleton, who has drawn withering fire from Palin friends and critics alike for being an ineffective adviser.” No. Cannot be true.
hey I tripped one time while running and that f’ing hurt. I feel her pain.
I think it’s great that Sarah Palin runs regularly because then when I subject her to degrading anal hate sex she’ll emit the proper slapping tone.
wallythepug: Cheesecake? Naw. She justs likes to scratch using the heel of her shoe.
Next month in AARP Magazine: “Senator John McCain shares his secret for memorable runs: Activia, Depends, Wet Ones”
My favorite part of the interview is where she talks about how she held a lighter to the arm of one of the Secret Service guys and held it there so he could prove his loyalty to her.
A Better American Than YOU: Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me….
Oops. Yet ANOTHER LIE from Miss Wassilla.
Wolf Blitzer saw her coming down the stairs of the plane with a bandaged hand. He told the world that she fell while running.
so, Blitzer, national TV, film in archives, or her word?
I’m surprised no one caught her recent Bon Appetite interview in which she confessed that she needs her meat cut into little pieces to keep from choking. It is noteworthy for her personal insight that she “likes pudding,” and that it is “good to eat.”
ticklemejethro: Really good one!
Mahousu: She wants to be God’s Trophy Wife.
So, Sarah Silly Pants’ hands get torn up and are dripping blood and she doesn’t claim they are stigmata from the baby Jeebus? Bible Spice FAIL!
also on vf.com, poll: who’s the most powerful woman in the GOP? and next month’s preview poll: which retired WNBA star has the strongest ACLs?
kipperthegod: I think you’ve, uh, nailed it.
But seriously, is this not the entire point of her recounting this story? She’s making herself into some sort of quadripartite deity: equal parts Heavenly Father (see VF article), bleeding Jesus, Holy Roller Spirit, and “iconic” Mary, Mother of God, rolled into one blessed quadrinity.
“When Trig was born, Palin wrote an e-mail letter to friends and relatives [...] not in her own name but in God’s, and signed it “Trig’s Creator, Your Heavenly Father.”
This is what I’m talking about: God needs to start smiting people again.
jodyleek: Who said she was bleeding from her hands? Perhaps that’s why she was so “stinkin’ embarrassed”… she forgot to deal with those monthly cycle thingees, also.
Mahousu: Crap. Sorry. Missed that before posting.
No link to the Politico article about the Vanity Fair piece? Here it is in brief:
“…Responding to Schmidt’s counterattack, Kristol directly fingered Schmidt…Schmidt suggested that Scheunemann had fingered Nicolle Wallace, a senior McCain adviser…When Kristol questioned the likelihood of a male like Mark Wallace using such a gossipy term as diva, this source said, Scheunemann wrote back that Mark Wallace knows something about divas because he’s married to a diva…Kristol…glitterati…
proudgrampa: You missed the part in the story where she later signed her emails “Trig’s Creator, Bristol.”
If Letterman mentions this story, she’ll start squawking that he’s a misogynist sexist asswipe to BLATANTLY suggest that women are generally clumsy and deserve to get their hands cut up as punishment for their utter lack of athleticism.
proudgrampa: He’s not through with Sanford yet.
Somebody needs to fire those blabbermouth Secret Service guys. What a bunch of Chatty Cathies:
From Politico, Oct. 2, ‘08:
“Sen. Joe Biden will face an injured Sarah Palin in tonight’s debate after the Alaska governor took a spill jogging around running mate John McCain’s Sedona, Ariz., home….The Alaska governor arrived in St. Louis today wearing a bandage on the injured hand and is expected to sport it during the vice presidential debate.”
She should have just said she was injured in hand-to-hand combat with Cindy. Catfights are sexy.
(Askanced expression on my comely face) That kind of tripping? Sheeyet.
dave666: Me too - no wait, weak moment…but I did also fall down once even outside a church which may have been a sign to me.
She totally made this stuff up - her falling while running at McCain’s ranch while prepping for the VP debate was broadcast and published widely in the news on the day of the debate:
read the caption with the photo:
http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/83090607/AFP
For more SP lies:
http://breepalin.blogspot.com/2009/07/sarah-palins-guide-to-lying.html#comments
In the Runner’s World article it said that McCain engages in “wading” for exercise. He wades in the creek near his home. I guess he is about 200 years old but still — wading??
Agent Smith: I was hoping for something more exciting in my Secret Service career than riding along in a golf cart behind some panting fatass Alaska woman. I got to ask myself if I would really throw myself in front of a bullet to save her.
Agent Jones: Me, too. The only way to stay sane is to keep it a secret. I ain’t telling noooobody. Damn, she just fell down again. Your turn to pick her up.
Is this why Bristol named her baby Trip? Or was it because he was conceived in the back of the bus during the field trip to Otter Canyon?
musial78: She knows how the Iranians feel who were beaten by the bajij. And she can see them from her house.
If only Gerald Ford could have lived to see this day!
Bree Palin knows more about the Sarah Palin crazy:
http://breepalin.blogspot.com/
http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=ZGE1OTE3OTFhMmZkOWE5MDQ5MmZhZTFjMzE2MjcxNTM=
Ha ha Jonah Goldberg hates Sarah now too and wants her to go home and shut up just like everybody else. Too bad she will ignore his advice.
Have a good weekend don’t and blow up any thing valuable I am going out to buy meat.
Just when you think you’ve heard palin at her most stupid, she opens her face and something ever more moronic comes spilling forth to convince you that she is indeed, THE most stupid person EVER to pretend to service the public.
The Secret Service protects the principal from threats they cannot protect the principal from themselves.
Palin is in great physical shape and that is the beginning and end of her qualities.
If the election was a beauty contest, she wins.
If we are electing someone who can understand and try to solve problems she is the last person on the list.
if she was really worried about being a lame duck gov. and wanting to do the right thing for alaska. she should have stepped aside 3 yrs. ago.