Wonkette
- ARREST MARK SANFORD FOR WAR TREASON! Now that Mark Sanford has arbitrarily admitted that he saw Ms. Lady from Argentina seven times instead of three in the past year, and that he fingered millions of other ladies, he will finally be rendered to Azkaban for war crimes: “COLUMBIA, South Carolina (CNN) — The attorney general of South Carolina on Tuesday asked the state law enforcement division to review Gov. Mark Sanford’s travel records after the governor admitted to more visits with his mistress than previously disclosed.” [CNN]
In SC, adultery is illegal: stone him!
Did he cross state lines?
Norm Coleman caves! Called Franken and conceeded at 4:00pm EDT.
Well, as we all know anyone who would ever consider leaving the US should be looked upon sceptical and harrassed by the TSA.
JamesMichaelCurley: but will Harry Reid let him be seated in the Senate? He’ll have to ask Mitch McConnell, if it’s ok first.
O, the toolness of it all.
What a devious, dick-driven self-deluded morooon.
Feelin’ considerable despair here at the dearth of leadership in our country as its Independence Day looms. South Carolina should get independent of Mr. Sanford.
No wonder I’m so in the tank for Barry Hopey. If he should disappoint on the moral scale… but NO. NEVER. Plz: never.
Two of the meetings in the past year included multiple-night stays in New York, Sanford told the AP. Sanford told the AP he met with Chapur a third time in New York on what was intended to be a goodbye visit. Sanford was accompanied by his spiritual adviser, the AP reported.
Asked to comment, Sanford’s “spiritual advisor,” a homeless man with an extensive fez collection that he keeps in a shopping cart, said only “They’re real and they’re magnificent.“
Make him dodge well-aimed fireworks at South Of The Border for a week.
With this new revelation of his adulterous behavior, Mark Sanford should do the honorable thing and concede to Al Franken.
According to the Confederate law which SC operates under, seven times is OK for a republican, once would be too much for a lib’ral socialist demcrat.
Sanford, 49, said the casual encounters [with women] happened outside the U.S. while he was married but before he met Chapur, on trips to “blow off steam” with male friends.
You see, he was trying to be a proper GOPer, but turns out he is some sort of obligate heterosexual. Can’t help himself.
I predict a big holiday weekend Friday news dump from SC … either Sanford resigns or the wife kicks his butt to the curb.
Dude, was all this on the state’s dime? That might be why they’re pissed. In that case, have fun y’all, and I’ll go out and stock up on some more popcorn. Meet you back in the front row.
What would King David do?
I believe the attorney general in question wants to be one of those “guys and gals who assume that mantle of public leadership” as Michel Steel so elegantly puts it. He may hawant to keep the guv in office so that Gay André does not get to run as the incumbent next year.
He is no King David.
SayItWithWookies: Were Maria British, Sanford would’ve been accompanied by his “bishop.”
Mahousu: Mark Sanford, International Ambassador of Love.
— He said his experiences with other women took place outside of the United States —
This tears it. I mean, how can you respect a man who cheats on his mistress?
Is it too late for him to claim he did not commit “adultery”, but may have mis-fucked?
It’s really not all that complicated:
10 Commandments - 7 Deadly Sins = 3 Strikes Rule
I think we should give him some credit for being thorough. Many men would’ve ended things after sexually recreating Deadly Sin #4.
Our American boojum is clearly not good enough for this guy.
“Casual encounters” while on trips, carefully noted to have been outside the US, to “blow off steam” with male friends?
Dude is barking mad, but still being careful, you see, he did his adultery outside of South Carolina, he is being very very careful about this, like Clinton, who was so careful to note that he was outside the US when he didn’t inhale the evil marijuana.
My guess would be that there was prostitution involved, and he wants to be sure noone can claim he violated the laws of the US or South Carolina. \
The only reason he would ever be admitting to foreign blowjobs with the guys, is because Jenny knows about them, and she is fixing to talk.
SayItWithWookies: My spiritual adviser goes everywhere with me too. I call him Penis.
I look forward to Gov. Sanford’s next attempt at Biblical exegesis, since his last one went so well.
“You see, it’s like when Jesus was tested by Satan in the desert, except I’m Jesus and the Attorney General is Satan. Did Jesus resign when Satan reviewed his travel records? Fuck no, and neither will I.”
widestanceromancer: “may have mis-fucked?”
That there is a keeper statement.
**crickets**
It’s not the crime, but the inability to STFU.
It’s depressing when a Republitard Governor from South Carolina (SOUTH CAROLINA!) has a more colorful love life than I.
Well, Song of Solomon is out, since looks like the deep sparked up soul-mate wuv angle won’t play no more. Next stop Genesis and Judges. And dude, that is way past PG territory.
Can we have get the whole GOP leadership in for observation. They are all nuts.
How about a contest with your readers on “HOW MANY LIES HAS MARK SANFORD TOLD?”…I count at least 7 or 8 right now, and no day goes by where there aren’t a few more…wonder how much longer this pathetic lying wreck of a human being can hold on…
Talk about the Walking Dead…the hangdog expression of Mark’s face says it all every time he appears in front of a camera!
widestanceromancer: Comment prize genius for “mis-fucked”. I think that’s how my dog got pregnant.
wagonjak: Sadly, that’s his HAPPY face.
Can you blame the GOP for its strong reaction regarding one of its one having “casual encounters” with adult women? I mean, a house divided against itself….
Bronkers: Barry Hopey. Ricky Bobby. Ricky Bobby. Barry Hopey. I like the way you say that. I shall, through the fog and haze of drug and alcohol abuse, endeavor to remember to use this in the future.
It takes a village (of women) to hike the Appalachian Trail on a regular basis.
Now I may be mistaken, being a female of the species, but hasn’t Sanford also violated some kind of “guy code”? He more than likely just outed his buddies as having “crossed the line” as well.
Some very interesting conversations going on in homes across South Carolina tonight.
Lord have mercy, were I Jenny Sanford, I would have fed his ass to the alligators two days ago.
I’ve got 20 bucks that says the Repubs in SC calling loudest for his resignation and pedobears and/or cheaters.
This is what happens when you let a grown man people call “Cubbie” tell you what’s right and wrong. Sooner or later ol “Cubbie” hissef is gonna hafta come clean. Clearly he’s been condoning and nurturing this kinda of behavior from Sanford for years. Yeah, I think they guy code has been breached, also. also. Michael jackson.
Mad Farmer Manifest: ‘are’ pedobears, etc, not ‘and’. Dumbfuck.
It’s just one more day until we get the confession about the gay prostitute and the meth. I’m also waiting to hear that at least one of Maria’s kids is his. And what a schmuck- says his mistress is his soulmate but he is trying to fall in love with his wife again. If Jennie doesn’t have the papers drawn up already- she is a fool.
Sanford keeps digging deeper holes, and I, for one, hope he doesn’t bury himself… YET. Pass the popcorn: schadenfreude don’t get better ‘n this. Coudna happened to better hypocrit. Hey, Mark, did one of “those women” wear a blue dress??? Inquiring minds need to know.
Mad Farmer Manifest: don’t be so hard on yourself! and: true dat!
Gosh. I just hope he doesn’t have a sexy tape that can trump stud-turd John Edwards.
Edwards? Edwards? We’re talking Edwards? Dood, who care about Edwards. Sanford has it sooo totally over Edwards in every way. Who will pay one rat’s ass to anything about Edwards. Except for trailer trash.
I am not from the South, and don’t want to start class snob wars over North and South Carolina. But, it this is over.
It’s the peaches.
Pretty, high class but sexytime beautiful with banging body lady -check
exotic foreign land -check
luxe digs in exotic foreign land -check
Gothic mental stability issues -check
Drama Queen meltdown -check
More mystery alduteresses to come -check
how much stolen the money investigation -check
Public office malfeasance for secret sex AWOL -check
Public wife out for the take down -check
Sanford has full marks.
Sanford. A scandal great for the ages. Period. If we are lucky, this will start going Full Borges.
Extra credit for the Harry Potter nerdery. Good job, Jim.
woke up today to two flat tires on my car, so i sat and drank all my beer. now im out of beer with two flat tires on my car. bitch
Olbermann suggested “cross the sex line” will enter the vernacular. Works for me.
Sanford’s horndogosity: An offense against God.
http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/panelists/susan_jacoby/2009/06/the_scarlet_letter_for_politicians.html
That Jenny is pretty shrewd to head out on a boat with her boys for the week. She knew Mark had more - MUCH MORE - to say and, boyo!, did she want him to say it.
desertwind:
Give her credit. It is very cramped in a U-boat.
http://www.speedace.info/speedace_images/U_Boat_world_war_one_the_great_war_painting.jpg
Oh no, you didn’t!
http://www.salon.com/wires/ap/us/2009/06/30/D99592G80_us_sc_governor_quote_box/
As we all came to realize a couple of days ago, Brother Mark is a ‘tard. It’s not surprising, he’s a Libertarian, the nice folks who can’t do math.
This righteous bag of gravy has no concept of “call forwarding” or even the exotic construct commonly known as an “answering service” and as a result we all know he traveled to to some Godless sin pit to sink nuts deep into his soul-mate (is that what the kids are calling it now?).
While announcing that he was going to try to put his marriage back together he also happened to mention that, boy he’d like to be nuts deep in that soul mate of his, but…ya know…the old ball and chain aint havin’ it.
I’ve learned two things about Brother Mark in the last week. First, he is the ballsiest man on the planet, no question about it. How do you turn to your wife and talk that kind of shit? ” God will punish but since I’m on my way to Hell is it OK if I go bang Maria some more?” That’s world class brass.
And of course he’s dumb as a stump but that was settled back on “Nude Appalachian Trail Hiking day” wasn’t it?
Let’s all take a breather from this virulent cyber-voy and watch “Wild Orchid” together.
Which, by the way, is a very cool, chick porn movie.
Of which I have very fond memories, because it is the only thing in this universe that inspired my ex to want to fuck me. In…oh…15 years of marriage.
During which I never once went to Argentina.
Though I should have.