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BLOOD RED LINE

  • RED LINE KILLS AGAIN: “Metro reports a person was struck and killed by a Red Line train at Forest Glen this afternoon. The transit authority said it appeared the person was on the tracks deliberately.” Yeah they always say that. [Washington Post]


6:20 PM on Mon June 29 2009
By Ken Layne
796 Views

  1. paintitblack says at 6:30 pm, June 29th, 2009

    Would you folks in DEE CEE kindly get yer acts together… I’m gonna be there soon & usually need to ride the red line (with all due respect and sympathy to those who’ve lost lives, etc). Yikes.

  2. DagNabbit says at 6:33 pm, June 29th, 2009

    Where were you Hancock?

  3. DagNabbit says at 6:34 pm, June 29th, 2009

    Is that Sean Penn ad for the retard pianist or the retard governor?

    I just dont know anymore since he went full retard.

  4. qwerty42 says at 6:37 pm, June 29th, 2009

    The transit authority said it appeared the person was on the tracks deliberately.” Yeah they always say that.
    Ken, are you suggesting maybe this guy knew too much about the crash?

  5. Extemporanus says at 6:38 pm, June 29th, 2009

    Stephen King has always been kind of a hack, but this latest effort is just downright embarrassing.

  6. shortsshortsshorts says at 6:42 pm, June 29th, 2009

    Even though the train left the track, reached out its arms and ate the man whole, it was still his fault.

  7. DagNabbit says at 6:48 pm, June 29th, 2009

    Ok! Ok everybody! Come here… come here. Let’s form a semicircle.

    You ready?

    Bicycles!

    Yeah two wheels, handle bars and chains? Ahaha I know, I know.

    Thank you, Thank you all!

  8. Uncle Glenny says at 6:57 pm, June 29th, 2009

    I think this is just another one of Obama’s doings to take attention away from further investigation of the Green Line crash in Boston because that’s where his aunt (illegally in the country) lives. Haven’t heard much about her for a while, have we? Hengh?

  9. Deepthroat says at 7:25 pm, June 29th, 2009

    Too bad; if a person had to go falling on the train tracks it couldn’t have been the governor of Alaska. You know, Sarah Palin.

  10. Joehoya says at 7:26 pm, June 29th, 2009

    The transit authority said it appeared that last Monday the people were in the front car of the red line train deliberately, as well

  11. Neilist says at 7:30 pm, June 29th, 2009

    Oh, dear! Trains are dangerous! Any Thinking Liberal will vote immediately for their ban!

    Which, of course, will lead inevitably to a backlash:

    “When the Red Line is OUTLAWED, only OUTLAWS will have Red Lines!”

    “Light rail commuter trains don’t kill people; people kill people!”

    “You can have my computerized metro train system when you can snatch it from my cold, DEAD FINGERS!”

  12. Mild Midwesterner says at 7:38 pm, June 29th, 2009

    Suddenly the Orange Line delays don’t seem so bad…

  13. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 7:41 pm, June 29th, 2009

    Just further proof that the Red Line sees Obama as week!

    When will he nuke it and make us all safe as Americans?

  14. user-of-owls says at 7:50 pm, June 29th, 2009

    Lionel Hutz Esq.: “Mr. Mass Transit Commissioner, tear down this line!”

  15. Lascauxcaveman says at 7:58 pm, June 29th, 2009

    I know what would solve the problem of the Red Line constantly gunning down and running down innocent pedestrians.

    Just change the name to something less-lethal sounding, like “The Pink Line.” Name like that and it’d be too embarrassed to run anyone down.

  16. smellyal8r says at 8:07 pm, June 29th, 2009

    The age-old question: Pushed or jumped? Paging Vincent Foster…

  17. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 8:12 pm, June 29th, 2009

    Lionel Hutz Esq.: Make that weak. God, that is just embarrassing. What do I think I’m doing, writing for the Corner?

  18. ProfessorJukes says at 8:35 pm, June 29th, 2009

    Neilist: Sounds good. Whatever sneaky ploy gets conservatives to fund mass transit, I’m for it.

  19. WickedWitch says at 8:37 pm, June 29th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: Nom nom nom nom…

  20. You do know that each time someone suicides via train they have to stop the train and measure how far the body parts flew, correct?

  21. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 8:43 pm, June 29th, 2009

    This is why I have my slave* run me everywhere in a rickshaw.

    * Don’t worry, he’s white, so it’s okay.

  22. Red Line = Dead Line

  23. WIDTAP says at 9:04 pm, June 29th, 2009

    It’s curse I tell ya! The evil soul of Dick Cheney possesses the Red Line from Shady Grove to Silver Spring.

  24. SayItWithWookies says at 9:06 pm, June 29th, 2009

    Neilist: Oh, it’s just more evidence that things are safer with stronger regulations and enforcement. Like with — you know — guns.

  25. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 9:27 pm, June 29th, 2009

    @SayItWithWookies: Wait. Are you and Neilist saying the trains in DC are armed? Awesome! Can they also transform into space shuttles? Man, the stuff I miss out here in Iowa.

  26. windupbird says at 9:47 pm, June 29th, 2009

    Bunny, the Boston band called the Upper Crust has a very funny song about that mode of transport.

  27. Mr Blifil says at 10:14 pm, June 29th, 2009

    THE ROBOTS ARE RISING UP AGAINST US

  28. chascates says at 10:21 pm, June 29th, 2009

    Thee are no ‘transportation accidents.’ Gaia is pissed.

  29. Sunfire says at 10:35 pm, June 29th, 2009
  30. SayItWithWookies says at 11:17 pm, June 29th, 2009

    Naked Bunny with a Whip: Yeah, they’re armed. And as usual the guy in the ball turret has the worst job in the world.

  31. dijetlo says at 12:16 am, June 30th, 2009

    Lascauxcaveman: I used to ride the red line to and from work, it wasn’t nearly this angry back then. Though I think your initial thought is dead on but I’d point out that it’s always been the Red Line and it’s only become malevolent in the last couple of weeks.
    What really is needed is for Mel Gibson to lick a communion wafer off the third rail, thus insuring that whatever animus it is that lurks in the Red Line is safely stored in Mel until he get’s another speeding ticket. He’s always drunk, he’ll do it.

  32. zenferret says at 10:24 am, June 30th, 2009

    Mild Midwesterner: Sucks to be the guy that rides orange then red to get to work. Like me.

  33. misterfixit says at 12:33 pm, June 30th, 2009

    When metro opened in March 27, 1976, the then-uncolored Shady Grove to Glenmont line was the most illustrious route in the newly formed WMATA transit system. The District’s elite would ride it around the Capitol for pleasure and to see the city envisioned by the late Pierre L’Enfant.

    However, the Shady Grove - Glenmont service was struck a heavy blow in the early 1980s when hair bands were gaining poularity and breakdancing had brought the street life to the streets of DC. There was rampant cocaine usage and the line was finally assigned a color: The White Line.

    The White Line became the coach for denizens of the new musically driven lifestyles. It was common to see riders throwing down cardboard in the standing areas and carrying boom boxes blaring the latest hair band or break dance beats. As a strange coincidence, the White Line trains were frequently used by dopeheads to snort cocaine. Local dealers would set up glass tables between seatbacks and allow users to peruse their supplies.

    Then in 1996, the White Line suffered a catastrophic and fatal crash at the Shady Grove station when a train failed to come to a stop behind an unoccupied train. The driver of the train was killed and Metro’s response was to ignore warnings of the 1000 series train issues and simply rename the line “The Red Line” to commemorate the bloody incident and serve as an overt warning to future riders.

    The line retains this telling appellation today.

  34. villageatrois says at 6:25 am, July 3rd, 2009

    Too harsh! I heard the train driver swerved at the last minute.

  35. What was the victim’s age?

    This just might be a covert death panel.

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