Wonkette
Last fall an Internet hobo named Jack Cashill broke a certain “biggest political scandal ever” proving that Bill Ayers, the hippie terrorist, colluded with then-Sen. Barack Obama, in 1995, to ghostwrite the latter’s profane memoir, Dreams From My Father. Cashill noticed that several sentences in Dreams incorporate similar (if not exact) individual proper nouns and conjunctions as those in Ayers’ Fugitive Days and other books. National Review hero Andy McCarthy picked up Cashill’s story, but then it died, because of liberal political biases in the national media. But it hath risen a-gain! Cashill wrote a long post yesterday titled, “Breakthrough on the Authorship of Obama’s ‘Dreams,’” and it proves once and for all that Obama didn’t write a fucking word in the whole book; it was all the terrorist Bill Ayers. And Jon Favreau wrote The Audacity Of Hope!
Cashill cleared his schedule for the whole last year to play e-mail detective with “serious people” from most other countries, whom he has labeled with clown names, because of Joe the Plumber.
Since then, I have received helpful contributions from serious people in at least five countries and any number of states and have integrated many of their observations into my ongoing narrative, summarized here. If you are unfamiliar with this research, please read this before going forward.
About a week ago, however, I heard from a new contributor. I will refer to him as “Mr. West.” Like most contributors, he prefers to remain anonymous. The media punishment that Joe the Plumber received has much to do with this nearly universal reticence.
A week before that, I heard from another excellent contributor, Mr. Midwest. Their collective contribution should dispel the doubts of all but the willfully blind that Ayers played a substantial role, likely the primary role, in the writing of Dreams.
What was unnecessary in this investigation was Science.
As a reminder, there is no reliable computer science for determining authorship. In assessing the value of the existing science, think polygraph, not DNA. Polygraph-level scholarship may suffice for harmless speculation about the authorship of Midsummer’s Night Dream, but not for Dreams From My Father. Too much is at stake for the latter.
First, it was necessary to set up Parameters. If each instance of Ayers’ ghostwriting was a boobie, what size bra would it need?
What Mr. Midwest noticed recently is that both Ayers in Parent and Obama in Dreams make reference to the poet Carl Sandburg. In itself, this is not a grand revelation. Let us call it a C-level match. Obama and Ayers seem to have shared the same library in any case. Both talk of reading the books of Malcolm X, James Baldwin, Langston Hughes, W.E.B. Dubois and Frantz Fanon among others. In fact, each misspells “Frantz” as “Franz.”
Ayers and Obama, however, go beyond citing Sandburg. Each quotes the opening line of his poem “Chicago.” From Dreams:
He poured himself more hot water. “What do you know about Chicago anyway?”
I thought a moment. “Hog butcher to the world,” I said finally.
From Parent:
“At the turn of the century, Chicago had a population of a million people and was a young and muscular city - hub of commerce and industry, the first skyscraper city, home of the famous world exposition, “hog butcher to the world” - bursting with energy.”
This I would call a B-level match. What raises it up a notch to an A-level match is the fact that both misquote “Chicago,” and they do so in exactly the same way. The poem actually opens, “Hog butcher for the world.”
SOMEONE DIDN’T COVER HIS TRACKS, DID HE?
Serious Person “Mr. West” had much, much more, but if only he could trick the damnable Obama-controlled e-mail machine into transmitting his codes!
Last week, the first email I received from Mr. West had in the message box “759 striking similarities between Dreams and Ayers’ works.” This claim seemed so outsized I did not take it seriously. When I was unable to open the documents, I emailed Mr. West back, asked him to reformat, and then forgot about the email. He resent his documents a few days later.
“The 759″ are all basically direct instances of plagiarism and ghostwriting, a sort of literary “bombing the Pentagon storage room” exercise. What are all of these words that Bill Ayers uses in his two books, and how could Cashill not know them?
Returning to the exotic, in his Indonesian backyard Obama discovered two “birds of paradise” running wild as well as chickens, ducks, and a “yellow dog with a baleful howl.”
In Fugitive Days, there is even more “howling” than there is in Dreams. Ayers places his “birds of paradise” in Guatemala. He places his ducks and dogs together in a Vietnamese village being swept by merciless Americans. In Parent, he talks specifically about a “yellow dog.” And he uses the word “baleful” to describe an “eye” in Fugitive Days. For the record, “baleful” means “threatening harm.” I had to look it up.
Ayers is fixated with faces, especially eyes. He writes of “sparkling” eyes, “shining” eyes, “laughing” eyes, “twinkling” eyes, eyes “like ice,” and people who are “wide-eyed” and “dark-eyed.”
Now Cashill *never* claimed that Bill Ayers wrote Obama’s second book, he never SAID THAT, he is not crazy. The Audacity Of Hope was written by, let’s see… ah, that little queer kid who writes all the stuff these days.
A likely suspect for these imitative passages, perhaps the whole of Audacity, is Obama’s young speechwriter, Jon Favreau. Favreau joined the Obama team in 2005, time enough to play that role. The London Guardian reports that Favreau carries Dreams wherever he goes and can “conjure up his master’s voice as if an accomplished impersonator.” If so, in Audacity he played the classic role of the ghostwriter — one who absorbs his client’s thoughts and relates them in a refined version of his client’s voice.
WHY ARE YOU NOT OUTRAGED ENOUGH?
Breakthrough on the Authorship of Obama’s ‘Dreams’ [American Thinker via Salon]
All-time fave pic and alt-text. I say ALL-TIME!
Must now read copy.
Bill Ayres works for the Rand corporation and has ties with the U.N. Also.
“oh” “for” “fuck’s” “sake.”
There is the brink of insanity and then there is the abyss.
Maybe Obama wrote “Fugitive Days”.
At Balloon Juice, John Cole provides this link which shows Dreams was in fact written by the 1967 Illinois Commission on Automation and Technological Progress. Obviously a front for the Illuminati. And we have to ask whether Cashill is trying to cover up for them.
I’m probably gonna be late on the draw with this, but I want to know what “Mr. Pink” has to say.
What!? They’re going to exhume Shakespeare and make him take a polygraph!? Crimes against literature indeed.
This is like the unfunny version of the original “The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3,” w/Mr. Grey, Mr. Blue, etc (or even unfunnier than the unfunny “Resevoir Dogs” w/similar nomeclature). Said it before, say again: these losers need to “Get” “a” “Life.”
Da-yum. That is some serious food for thought.
Where the hell is Mr. Pink?
“759 striking similarities between Dreams and Ayers’ works.”
Well there are 48 striking similarities between Cashill’s chromosomes and a fucking chimp’s. Also.
The best part about this whole conspiracy theory isn’t how spectacularly wrong it is (and it’s completely fucking incorrect), it’s the fact that, were it true, it would be the most completely inconsequential conspiracy in fucking history.
OH NOES, A FAMOUS PERSON’S MEMOIRS WERE GHOSTWRITTEN?? Behold the end of Western Civilization, folks.
Also, I hear Shakespeare used the word “baleful” every once in a great while. Obviously, Bill Ayers is secretly Shakespeare’s ghostwriter, Mary Sidney.
I am outraged!! … he had to look up “baleful”
Of course! Watson, it’s elementary. Obama and Ayers both use many of the same words. Mirthful persons in any number of locations (759, let’s say), which persons include the long lost grandson of Mae West and his second cousin once removed, Middy West, have provided invaluable obfuscation. It comes in on little fog feet! Then it all becomes clear! Hand me my fiddle, Mr. Watson, it’s time to dance a jig. A P is a B and a B is a Q! All the pieces fall into place! Both men dotted eyes; both men crossed the same tease. The dog would not stop barking! It heard its master’s voice. Spots are dancing before my eyes. Elementary spots, 759 of them, dancing a fine white Peruvian jig. On fog feet. Mr. Watson, come here right now, I need your help! Also.
I knew the CIA should have assassinated Adam West when it had the chance.
I know it’s heresy, but a niftier alt-text might have been: “Wretched of the Earth”
Excuse me, now I need to do some ritual bathing before I meet my Maker.
Scandalabra: It gets so much worse. so very much:
From Matt Yglesias (via Tyler Cowen):
Thomas Sowell argues that “Perhaps people who are busy gushing over the Obama cult today might do well to stop and think about what it would mean for their granddaughters to live under sharia law.”
This is in that respected journal of conservative thought, The National Review. So you know it isn’t some nutty thought. it is well-reasoned.
OMG, I read some of those books! That means I must have written Hopey’s book!
Franz? Frantz? Always the damn French. Why don’t we just say Freedom Fanon!
Mr. West and Mr. Midwest, go back to Fargo cuz you are Fargone.
Lean Back. Lean Back.
NoObama used the verb “is” just like secret black muslin terrorist helper Bill Ayers did.
As long as we’re on this train of thought, where is Bill Ayers’ birth certificate?
Geez: I thought it was proven Joe Klein wrote “Primary Colors” based on a computer analysis of that book and his signed writings. Was that all BS? He really didn’t do it, even though he admitted that he did?
And what about those programs that find poor sap “students” are finding their term papers on the Internets? Another Urban Legend?
I didn’t know what “baleful” meant, either. I thought it meant your Cigarette boat tipped over in the Miami harbor from being crammed with too much weed…
wow- this bunch of asshats here is in need of some actual working brain cells.
You people think Sarah Palin is in denial??? look in the mirror morons! A complete wretch like “prof” Ayers,guilty as hell and free as a bird, is pulling the puppet strings on your choice for president, barack HUSSAIN obama.
libtards=fuctards
I wouldn’t be surprised, Favreau hasn’t had shit to do since Swingers.
My advice to Mr. Cashill is keep Mr. Blonde away from the Gasoline, and for God’s sake don’t trust Mr. Orange.
Okay, am I to understand that “Swingers” is really a SNICK propaganda film? Bill Ayers is so money, and he doesn’t even know it!
Well, I’m totally 100% convinced by the literary scholarship of some asshat who had to look up the word “baleful”. Oh, and turns out no one in the history of time has misquoted Sandburg: http://www.encyclopedia.chicagohistory.org/pages/11271.html
DMOCKERCY:
Anybody wanna pick this one up? I left my “English-To-Retard” dictionary at home…
Violenza: Yeah I feel bad for the guy. He is a poor man’s Vince Vaughn.
Which is pretty much just a regular man’s Vince Vaughn, since both options suck.
WAKE UP SHEEPLES: LIBTARDS=FUCKTARDS. NOBAMA haz pEPputt sstings PULED BY no-BRainer muzlinSOCIlist telprobmter ayers ACRON pron denIAL crazed nutty nuts. Luk in teh miror, fucTARds!
Even Joe Cannon, despiser of all things Hopeyesque, thinks this is massive steaming crock.
http://cannonfire.blogspot.com/2009/06/did-obama-write-it.html
Wasn’t “759″ the number of Commies McCarthy found in the State Dept. back in the day? Coincidence or conspiracy?
As for Jon Favreau, the only thing he’s done since “Swingers” is gain weight.
Hmm. I never would’ve pegged them both to be Haddaway fans.
Jack: We’re going to be using aliases on this job. Under no circumstances do I want any one of you to relate to each other by your Wingnut names, and I don’t want any talk about yourself personally. That includes where you been, your wife’s name, where you might’ve done time, or maybe a book you read in St. Petersburg. All I want you guys to talk about, if you have to, is what you’re going to do. That should do it. Here are your names…
[pointing to each respective member]
Jack: Mr. North, Mr. South, Mr. East, Mr. West, Mr. Midwest, and Mr. Southwest.
Mr. Southwest: Why am I Mr. Southwest?
Jack: Because you’re a faggot, alright?
hobospacejunkie:
Great minds….
Tommmcatt: Well, Mr. Magenta called to point out that said retard spelled moran, “moron”…so irony can be definitively ruled out. It is, as we experts say, an A-level match.
I bet there’s a line about NYC as “Big Apple” in both Ayers’ and Obama’s text. Also.
Yes, it’s proven now: if you have one million monkeys hitting typewriters (or computers) long enough, they might produce a Shakespearean masterpiece; before that they will just fill teh Internets with their nutty conspiracy theories.
This, by far, is the funniest thing I have EVER read on Wonkette.
I buried Paul. I buried Paul.
Osama the anti-christ muslin’s socialist commie manual was written by a terrorist hippie ghostwriter??!!1!1
This is great news for John McCain! Also.
All the MSM did to Joe the Plumber was MAKE HIM FAMOUS, so he could quit his “job” and whine for a living. May I have some of that?
Tommmcatt: Great minds…
…rush to IMDB to copy & paste!
Fabulous. But I think I’ve encountered this “Jack Cashill” before, playing the dim, befuddled American lady in James Thurber’s short story, “The Macbeth Murder Mystery:”
http://www.sd84.k12.id.us/SHS/departments/Language/edaniels/English%20IV%20(H)/Macbeth/MacbethThurber.htm
Violenza: You guys are totally forgetting Iron Man. And Elf. I forgive him for Swingers and Very Bad Things cause he turned out to be a great director. Who knew?
DMOCKERCY: I may be a libtard, but you misspelled the President’s middle name. How dare you.
Carl Sandburg. Jesus F. Christ. You can’t live in Chicago and pretend to be a moderately educated person without quoting him. Next you’re going to tell me that both Ayers and ‘Obama’ (if that is his real name) mention the blues song ‘Sweet Home Chicago’.
DMOCKERCY:
Hahahaha.
You might have a point if your ilk wasn’t wrong about, oh, everything.
BTW, how’s that permanent Republican majority working for you?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Canuckledragger: In both birther and booker circles, the number “759″ signifies the following:
7+5+9=21
—>
21=blackjack
—>
blackjack=N1GGER PREZDINT?!! OMFG!!1!
There ARE striking similarities in Obama’s and Ayer’s works. They both have lots of the words “is” “of” “were” “the”; plus, come on now, both have too many periods and commas throughout their books for it to be a coincidence.
Forget yellow dogs and commie birds! The blatant similarities start on PAGE 1. The first line of Hopey’s book Dreams From My Father is
A few months after my 21st birthday a stranger called to give me the news
While the first line of Ayer’s books is (are you sitting down?!):
Memory is a motherfucker
I think it’s all time we faced facts: Has anyone ever seen Bill Ayers and Barack Obama in the same place at the same time?
All snark aside, is anyone on this site as nervous as I am about these people? Please tell me I am as paranoid as they are. I could live with that.
So they both quote Sandburg, BFD! They are both writing about and living in Chicago. Who do you expect them to quote Pablo Neruda?
DMOCKERCY: AND I HEARD REMOORS THAT AYERS AND NOOBAMA WERE BANGING IN THE BOY’S ROOM. YOR THAWTS?
For the record, “baleful” means “threatening harm.” I had to look it up.
This is the one statement in the whole thing I actually believe.
Anyway, everyone knows it was really the Earl of Oxford wrote Dreams from my Father.
I am Spartacus and I wrote “Dreams From My Father.”
shortsshortsshorts:
I forgot we had someone here that was fluent. I should have just got a hold of you in the first place.
Cashill’s face = two cheeks. Cashill’s ass = two cheeks. I would call this an “A” level match.
Mahousu: Just like Che Guevara wrote “The Taming of the Shrew.”
Tommmcatt: Teh correkt wurd es “flooint,” Tommmcat. “Flooint.”
shortsshortsshorts: fukkin ileetast, sprwlt tooommkart rhite.
I really enjoyed Jon Favreau’s work in Iron Man & Friends.
Mr. Cashill should be applauded, and President Obama impeached, for finding out that President Obama is apparently one of only two people to read some Jew sounding poet named Sandburg. And you would think Obama would have known better, being from an all-American city like Chicago.
Still, I’m a little leery of Mr. West. He puts himself out as an expert on writing styles, and yet he had problems with “baleful.” Until he releases his SAT scores, I’m withholding judgment.
Still, when will they all turn their attention to the real crime: Did Ayers actually write Obama’s birth certificate.
Did you also notice that both the books in question were written in English? Pretty suspect if you ask me.
Add Stephen Sondheim to the conspiracy, Mr. West-by-Midwest. In “Company” Joanne explains (in “Ladies Who Lunch”) that one of her divorces was from a husband who expected hrt to move to Chicago with him. She didn’t intend to live anywhere that called itself “Hog Butcher To The World.
Moreover, the conspiracy deepens–Sondheim’s gay!
qwerty42: “granddaughters to live under sharia law.”
OMG!!! Under Sharia law, they would have to be obedient to their husbands! Oh, wait, that’s the official position of the Southern Baptist Convention.
I’m always mixing up the two.
SnarkNotFark: And what was his hidden in IFC’s Dinner for Five? That Muslims smoke cigars?
DMOCKERCY: When you snark, you need to be a little more overboard, because someone’s taking your shit seriously. You’re not, are you?
Sorry to be a kill-joy, but aren’t there two Jon Favreaus?
One is a director, and one (this guy) is Obama’s speechwriter and serial Hillary boob grabber?
Crow T. Robot: I’ve been going along with this, but it’s not the same Jon Favreau is it? Because I saw him get in a snit over Bill Maher changing topics from the one JF had prepared for and he threatened to vote for Bush. This was back when Junior was running, of course.
The post makes way more sense if you read in the voice of Mayor Adam West.
ZOMGZ what a revelation!!!1 All those shocking similarities, like the use of “the” before nouns and “to” before verbs.
Kaavya Viswanathan has NOTHING on Obama. Might as well have called it “How Dreams From My Father Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life.” That’s what he gets for plagiarizing his first book just so he could get into Harvard.
DMOCKERCY: I’m not completely convinced this equation works. 1. We are in need of “actual working brain cells.” 2. We are libtards (or fuctards, since they are equivalent in your formulation). But, in your estimation, are libtards/fuctards capable of having working brain cells? How is this not tautology?
Clear as beer piss to me. Colonel Mustard wrote Dreams of my Father. In the conservatory. With the lead pipe.
Ayers couldn’t have written Dreams. I know from a brief encounter with him a few years back that he wrote Fugitive Days after taking a memoir-writing seminar. He didn’t even know how to write a memoir before then, and, if you’ve ever actually read Fugitive Days, it’s not clear he knew after. And now I must get back to excavating the back forty while waiting for the rosy fingers of the dawn–Signed Miss Peacock in the Library with the Very Important Memoir
So you’re saying that terrist Ayers is the one operating the TelEpRopntzer? Or maybe the TeLeproOntZter ghost-ghost-wrote the book for Ayers? HOW DO IT KNOW?
Yes, the fact that two literate educated men know the meaning of the word “baleful” and were willing and able to use it correctly certainly proves that Obama was born in Kenya or whatever it is this fellow is trying to convince me of.
Yellow dog- Old Yeller
Chickens and ducks- Julie Child’s cook books
Howling- Allen Ginsburg
“shining”- Stephen King
I don’t think I need to say anymore- it should all be perfectly clear what is going on now.
ZOMG, Bill Ayers wrote Howl!
DMOCKERCY: That’s “fucktards,” you moran. I don’t mind name-calling, but have the decency to get the spelling correct.
June Cleaver 2.0: yes, June, go visit here:
http://palingates.blogspot.com/
one of my favorites, and from France, also!
For me the chapter on Obama’s favorite bomb-making recipes is the tip-off. Also, ever notice when Salinger went recluse, Vonnegut’s output increased? They were both written by BEYONCÉ.
I’m missing a bunch of poemetry I wrote about my dad about 40 years ago. Most of it was more
Jim Morrison “the end” type stuff than audacity(which I didn’t know was a word)but I wouldn’t
be surprised if Ayers got in my closet and stole this shit for his Obama manifesto. Now, where’s
my vote?
I believe, considering the historical record, that Bill Ayers may also be responsible for the “Ezra Pound” Cantos. Or maybe Bill Maher. During his fascist period.
Actually, it’s proven (although not with Science, god forbids it) that everything ever written in English (the only real language)was/is written by Shakespeare. Ever notice that all writing has WORDS in it?
OH MY GOD!!!! What the fuck is wrong with those people? Can we cure them with savage beatings? As a heathen I suggest we use Science to study the effects of beatings on wingnuts.
Based on this analysis, I have just realized that all my cookbooks are written by the same person.
These Memoirgate dipshits actually tried hiring a linguistic analyst to prove their point - whereupon he did a preliminary survey & told them the odds were “extremely low” that Ayers wrote Obama’s book … & when he stipulated that his findings be put on the public record, they mysteriously lost interest.
But heck, at least it keeps them off the streets.
FunkyPalmettoBug: turn me on, deadman
finallyhappy: It’s totally clear now! Julia Child wrote a recipe for how to cook Ginsburg and King, thus leading to the creation of Burger King (which is a beloved eatery of wingnuts), which then FUELED the madness of Cashill and many others.
WadISay: Fucking A, that is perfect.
DMOCKERCY: Pitiful. Obviously, Ron Paul wrote this for you.
spraklepeapooh: I thought it was monkeys with a typewriter.
Backwards!!!!Read the books backwards!!!!! OMG !!!!!!!
gjdodger: Well played! Although, personally I prefer Miss Scarlet. In the Library. With the rope…
God forbid anyone (gasp! more than one!) have a vocabulary that stretches beyond “you betcha,” “second amendment,” and “communist-socialist-muslin.” The nerds are clearly taking over the world! Hide your children! Save yourself!
I note that Friedman makes us of tue word notch. Et tu, pornstache?
It’s a good thing Sarah Palin wasn’t armed with this oppo-research during the election campaign, because a polemicist of her stature would have devastated the Democrats with it. We dodged a bullet there!!
Wait, further analysis has revealed that Mr. Cashill wrote most of the letters to “Leather NAZI” magazine.
Polygraph-level scholarship may suffice for harmless speculation about the authorship of Midsummer’s Night Dream, but not for Dreams From My Father. Too much is at stake for the latter.
What could possibly be at stake? Just curious.
The real connection here is probably that Barack Obama is spending about a million dollars to hide his identity records, most probably not his money, and someone else is pulling the strings on this puppet man, and it could be “the terrorist” Ayers and his connections. Our country and our government desperately need a change, but there is a better way to make the changes than ways that incorporate fear and violence.
Barack Obama and his wife have acknowledged his father was a citizen of Kenya and his step-father, Soetoro, was an Indonesian citizen. After he was an Indonesian citizen named Barry Soetoro, there is no evidence he changed his name back to Barack Obama or became a naturalized citizen.
Occidental College shows he received a financial aid available only to foreign students. We not only have an incredible deceiver in the highest office of the land; we have an organization skillful at using innocent people who just want a black man in charge. Do not be taken in and used for what would be a deceptive and dangerous agenda.
Control of our government can be gained by blackmail by foreign forces, in this case Kenya, Pakistan, and Indonesian government etc. who have Barack Obama’s records, passports, school and adoption and citizenship records. College classmates and faculty and his own administration with these details can also sway policy decisions. His own dual nationalities bring a natural divided loyalty. As it comes closer to revealing his information in court, the fear he may implicate someone puts him in danger. This makes satisfying the controversy about his eligibility extremely important to all people involved.
Those who supported him need to stop playing blind-man’s bluff for him; and tell him you want him to release his identity documents; it is too easy not to.
MarieDevine: Is that a nun in your avatar, or Batman in his Sunday drag best?
I kind of hope Barry reads this analysis and starts inserting random words from that list into his pressers & speeches - in a row. “We must not shut our eyes to the sight of yellow dogs of oppression chasing with baleful howls Irandian birds of paradise whose twitters herald freedom, for we are not the hog butchers the Iranian governtment paints us as, also.”
DMOCKERCY: You’re totally right- everyone here on this site is in deniel. They wouldnt care if Ayers ADMITTED he wrote the book. Can you suggest a site where people think independantly for a change?
If we put Dreams From My Father through the Gender Genie ( http://bookblog.net/gender/genie.php ) and it turns out as “female”, can we then accuse Obama of colluding with far-left feminist terrorists?