Wonkette
Today, in our ongoing celebration of profane Republican lawmakers, we bring you the beloved Ohio smoke-mummy John Boehner. On Friday he very coyly suggested that Nancy Pelosi’s “Let’s All Give Anal Beads to the Polar Bears for Christmas” enviroterrorist legislation was not quite to his taste …
HE CALLED IT A PILE OF SHIT. AS IN, POOP.
When asked why he read portions of the cap-and-trade bill on the floor Friday night, Boehner told The Hill, “Hey, people deserve to know what’s in this pile of s–t.”
Using his privilege as leader to speak for an unlimited time on the House floor, Boehner spent an hour reading from the 1200-plus page bill that was amended 20 hours before the lower chamber voted 219-212 to approve it.
Did you know that John Boehner’s last will and testament includes a request that he be melted down into a pure carbon distillate and incinerated in the engine of a Hummer on its way to the Bunny Ranch? True story.
Boehner: Climate bill a ‘pile of s–t’ [The Hill]
Hope we can honor that last request soon.
‘Spose we should listen to the guy. Having packed more fudge than Fanny Farmer, Boehner knows shit when he sees it.
So, instead of taking an hour to mount an impassioned but logical refutation of the bill while proposing an alternative, he decided to use his time to just read directly from the legislation? I bet he got all bothered that it was in proper English, as well. Ladies and Gentlemen, your own very serious Republican party.
Of course Boehner is against this bill — he didn’t get the fine leathery complexion of a baked sea turtle by avoiding the sun, you know.
The party of Family Values. Of unified opinions. Of unswavering belief in one way of doing things.
Does Riley have to show up in EVERY John-John Boehner photo? What is he, a damned stalker?
Seriously, has no one told him he looks like an Oompa Loompa?
Was he sipping bourbon while he read it… or was he gulping it?
On a quick read, I read that as “Let’s All Give Anal Bleaches to the Polar Bears,” you know, to match their fur or something.
in the engine of a Hummer
Ah, the old ‘wrapped in an American flag and burned with high octane gasoline by the President of the US’ burial ploy. Well, all but that last part.
Boner is just worried he’ll have to cap the toxicity of whatever the hell it is he uses for his orange tan.
I can’t decide what’s more orange in that picture……his tie or his face.
Wait a minute, I thought no one read this bill and it wasn’t even written? Now it turns out that Boehner was reading it on the floor of the House? I’m so confused.
Boehner looks forward to global warming, because when the earth is baked into a dessicated dustball, in flames, his orange skin will actually be a survival trait.
Did you know that John Boehner’s last will and testament includes a request that he be melted down into a pure carbon distillate and incinerated in the engine of a Hummer on its way to the Bunny Ranch? True story.
Perhaps the first and the last time a Republican brings a Hummer to the Bunny Ranch.
spoken by an expert on the subject? but it’s really great shit, man
I bet the baby cried when he read it too.
Boehner is right, it is not like Sun Tan Oil grows on trees…,
Oh, wait…
He wants it to be warm enough to get a year round (natural) tan in Ohio.
Did you know that John Boehner’s last will and testament includes a request that he be melted down into a pure carbon distillate and incinerated in the engine of a Hummer on its way to the Bunny Ranch? True story.
Damn! I thought I was the only one.
Why would he want a natural tan? Rubbing petroleum distillates all over your body is an American birthright - Jesus invented handguns to protect those rights.
John Baner-Boner may be the first republican politician to die of a carrot overdose. ‘damn vegetarian.
He spoke just an hour before giving up? What a pussy! If I was one of his corporate slaveowners demanding my money be used to prevent any emissions control of my planet-crippling factories, I’d be most disappointed and whip him good!
One hour? Strom Thurmond filibustered the Civil Rights Act for 24 hours! I can’t believe Boehner is so weak in his convictions he only cares about quickening the Earth’s destruction 1/24 as much as Thurmond hated black people. I thought John had convictions.
Ha! The joke’s on him — now that this bill is passed you can only get to the Bunny Ranch by taking the monorail from Disney Land!
And the media continues allowing republicans to deny the existence of global warming unchallenged, even though doing so is as credible as the birthers’ denying Obama’s American birth.
Seriously, though, polar bears are totally fucking retarded.
will his tanning salon be “capped” or “traded”?
Being the embodiment of bronzed turd himself, you have the excrement calling the cow patty brown. Now is when we could use a probing comment on values from Scott “moist flushable wipe” Simon.
I keep trying to ignore it, but the sumbitch really is orange.
I just LOVE a man with a good, fake tan!
rmontcal: “Was he sipping bourbon while he read it… or was he gulping it?” Neither. He was bathing in it.