• CHILDREN’S STORY HOUR: “Mr. Sanford’s spokesman, Joel Sawyer, just sent out a notice saying the governor would hold a news conference at 2 p.m. in the Statehouse.” Oh yes, we will liveblog this, provided some television networks carry Governor Sanford’s brief and fanciful explanation for his prolonged absence this weekend. [The Caucus]
 
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{ 64 comments }

Gopherit June 24, 2009 at 12:18 pm

I smell a resignation to spend “more time with family.”

Boojum June 24, 2009 at 12:19 pm

Sara, will you hike the Appalachian Trail with me?

Crazybroad June 24, 2009 at 12:19 pm

Ooooooh, goodie, goodie, goodie! Cannot wait!!

InsidiousTuna June 24, 2009 at 12:20 pm

He just wanted to go get really, really high and catch up on his collection of Entourage seasons 4 and 5 before season 6 starts in July. Is that really so terrible?

Gopherit June 24, 2009 at 12:20 pm

It’s also very nice of him to give the AP reporters in BA 2 hours to dig up everything they can. Please let him lie his ass off again.

Who is bringing the popcorn?

tunamelt June 24, 2009 at 12:20 pm

Fashion Prediction for press conference?

octupletsmom June 24, 2009 at 12:22 pm

I wonder what words will not be used at this news conference.

SayItWithWookies June 24, 2009 at 12:22 pm

Well that gives him 90 minutes to get the hell out of the country. I wonder if he’ll come back this time.

Autochthon June 24, 2009 at 12:22 pm

Sic ‘im! SIC ‘IM!!!

tunamelt June 24, 2009 at 12:23 pm

[re=346367]Gopherit[/re]: so drugs, whores, gay sex, other fam/wife/kids, strange kink re: diapers or some wacky combo?

What is the over/under on this?

ManchuCandidate June 24, 2009 at 12:24 pm

I’ll put 50 bucks on Hookers&Blow.

Crazybroad June 24, 2009 at 12:24 pm
AllHat June 24, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Look, Sanford got a nice little vacation away from the office, wife and kids, got some tasty roast beef, probably some anonymous anal sex, and TONS of free publicity. Now, for 2012 he’ll have that all important “name recognition”. No one will remember why, but it won’t matter, it can be spun into whatever works at the time. I say set up some journo to call him out for the clown that he is, and then drop it. Every time his name appears in print, that’s like 12 more votes or something.

Autochthon June 24, 2009 at 12:26 pm

“Mr. Sanford’s spokesman, Tom Sawyer, just sent out a notice saying the governor was rafting down the mighty Mississip with his associate, Huck Finn…”

Gopherit June 24, 2009 at 12:28 pm

[re=346368]tunamelt[/re]: Nice link, Tuna. I want them to get Keyboard Cat to close his presser.

Saragon June 24, 2009 at 12:28 pm

WYFF 4 in Greenville – the NBC affiliate that originally reported Sanford passing through Hartsfield airport in Atlanta – will be doing a live webcast of Sanford’s presser.

S.Luggo June 24, 2009 at 12:29 pm

Telemundo Argentina will be covering the presser. Plus, it will be entirely in Klingon. I wonder if the governor-at-large has told staff that.

tunamelt June 24, 2009 at 12:29 pm

[re=346383]Autochthon[/re]: So the governor = Jim?

Gopherit June 24, 2009 at 12:29 pm

[re=346376]tunamelt[/re]: The way his wife is reacting, it could be all of them. I’m betting on Brokeback Mountain: Buenos Aires. He looks like a Latin Heat kind of guy.

liquiddaddy June 24, 2009 at 12:29 pm

What kind of country do we live in where a state executive can’t steal a car and secretly fly to Argentina by himself with no contact for five days and lie like hell about it?

A Better American Than YOU June 24, 2009 at 12:29 pm

I just learned on Wikipedia that Buenos Aires is the site of the Teatro Colon.

It is, allegedly, an opera house.

earnestcivilservant June 24, 2009 at 12:31 pm

[re=346376]tunamelt[/re]: My money’s on gay sex.

Nerdalicious June 24, 2009 at 12:32 pm

[re=346386]Gopherit[/re]:
Play him off keyboard cat! I think he is the real father of Edward’s so called love child. Also, a third country will come out in this press conference. Just a hunch.

magic titty June 24, 2009 at 12:33 pm

[re=346379]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Weird. That’s exactly how much he paid for Hookers&Blow.

Personally, I think he went looking for this guy: http://www.atlantaillustrated.com/blogs/blog02/tino1.jpg

S.Luggo June 24, 2009 at 12:33 pm
CrunchyKnee June 24, 2009 at 12:33 pm

$35 and six pack says he’ll echo Palin’s “gotcha media” phrase at least once.

Cicada June 24, 2009 at 12:33 pm

Oh goody! I am waiting with bated breath for Governor Sanford to clear this up once and for all. I’m sure he has a perfectly reasonable and truthful explanation, you just wait and see.

nappyduggs June 24, 2009 at 12:33 pm

Sure hope he has some new tits!

Autochthon June 24, 2009 at 12:34 pm

[re=346393]tunamelt[/re]: And I quote: “Come back to the raft ag’in, Huck honey!” ‘Nuff said…

hobospacejunkie June 24, 2009 at 12:34 pm

Y’all are gonna feel bad when he announces he’s been undercover in Iran fighting the Basiji bare-handed for freedom and Neda.

BlueStateLibtard June 24, 2009 at 12:35 pm

$50 at 3-1 on rehab.

Serolf Divad June 24, 2009 at 12:35 pm

Hope you get Gaffney public access TV Channel 35, because I have a feeling that’s the only place you’ll actually be able to watch this (which is a pity, given that we all want to hear Sanford’s krazee).

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 24, 2009 at 12:37 pm

[re=346406]nappyduggs[/re]: I’d wager it’s the whole sex change deal, wherein we will now refer to him as “Marge.”

NoWireHangers June 24, 2009 at 12:38 pm

Cosmetic procedures (like sex changes) are cheap and safe in Buenos Aires.

Just sayin’

Autochthon June 24, 2009 at 12:39 pm

[re=346401]magic titty[/re]: Um, I think I “know” that guy…

SmutBoffin June 24, 2009 at 12:42 pm

Reporter: Why all the subterfuge on your recent trip governor? Why did you just up and leave like that?
Mr. Sanford: I was on a secret mission, smuggling netbooks with Twitter clients to my Iranian contact in Argentina. They need them to get the freedoms. It had nothing at all to do with a bukkake party.
Reporter: I see, I see. Wait, what was that last part?
Mr. Sanford: Freedoms. The Iranians need bukkake movies for their freedoms.
Reporter: You mean netbooks?
Mr. Sanford: I’m fucking this up, aren’t I? Did I mention I love my wife and family and how supportive they are of me and how I would never, ever participate in anything as hot as a group jerk-and-blow?
Reporter: Uh, yeah. I have no more questions and am sorry for asking the ones I did.

stink, but June 24, 2009 at 12:43 pm

Cue the Mark Sanford is a “Gay American” speech in 3..2…1…!

Saragon June 24, 2009 at 12:43 pm

[re=346413]Serolf Divad[/re]: Fortunately no (see above WYFF4 webcast link). And I’m going to tune in to WEPR 90.1 (the local NPR affiliate) at 2:00 to see if they’re covering this. (At the very least, the hourly news update might have something at 3:00.)

nappyduggs June 24, 2009 at 12:45 pm

[re=346409]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I think that maybe the only thing he’s been fighting bare-handed is ED.

Youstonedorjuststupid? June 24, 2009 at 12:46 pm

This man is doomed, he has a Velcro wallet for Christs sake.

Hooray For Anything June 24, 2009 at 12:46 pm

I think I’m actually going to get out of bed to watch this.

bitchincamaro June 24, 2009 at 12:46 pm

If he claims he spent the week in Mansfield, TX, I think he’d have a shot at credibility.

Autochthon June 24, 2009 at 12:46 pm

[re=346409]hobospacejunkie[/re]: And then Aunt Esther will come on camera and call ‘im a “fish-eyed fool”…

Saragon June 24, 2009 at 12:51 pm

Oh, and TPM is reporting that Sanford didn’t make the trip alone. Looks like a woman.

Which is sort of a shame, since I’m going to lose money – I had “visiting male hookers” as my bet. Still, he’s at least providing my daily allowance of crazy.

gurukalehuru June 24, 2009 at 12:52 pm

Don’t lie to me, Marco Sanford
The truth is, you weren’t even hiking
You needed time to think
and maybe have a drink
and get fucked up the butt…..
la,la,la,la,la

WadISay June 24, 2009 at 12:52 pm

I predict the Carrie Prejeant defense: If I hadn’t been so outspoken against the Stimulus money, I wouldn’t be getting all this bad press now. Isn’t it still a free country, boo-hoo?

Mahousu June 24, 2009 at 12:53 pm

[re=346360]Gopherit[/re]: I smell a resignation to spend “more time with family.”

I think you mean “to spend even less time with my family.”

TeddyS June 24, 2009 at 12:57 pm

After America was attacked, George Bush just sat there for seven minutes reading a children’s book before running away and hiding in a hole in the ground. President Sanford would have been out of the school in a flash, heading back to Argentina or Colombia for some private time. Seven minutes in a national emergency is a lot of time.

President Beeblebrox June 24, 2009 at 12:59 pm

Today, we are all orange-skinned Republicans.

TGY June 24, 2009 at 12:59 pm

So, how many thousands of dollars did he pay a ho and how many Whore Diamonds will we rate her?

jodyleek June 24, 2009 at 1:00 pm

[re=346395]liquiddaddy[/re]: The same country that would frown on a certain governor getting tea bagged by a tranny war criminal dressed in a storm trooper (Nazi, not Star Wars) outfit. What’s a guy with that kind of fetish supposed to do?

Hooray For Anything June 24, 2009 at 1:01 pm

[re=346449]Saragon[/re]: From the South Carolina politics blog:

S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford and his wife, first lady Jenny Sanford, are having marital problems, sources tell FITS. The couple have reportedly been in marital counseling for several weeks now….”It’s Jenny plus four minus Mark,” one S.C. politico joked to FITS, referencing the reality TV show “Jon & Kate Plus Eight,” whose two protagonists are divorcing after ten years of marriage.

For those of you who had “having extra-marital affair” in their office pool, you should probably be feeling pretty confident about now.

Extemporanus June 24, 2009 at 1:05 pm

[re=346449]Saragon[/re]: Was the woman Che Guevara’s granddaughter Lydia, who just posed for PeTa wearing nothing but a beret and bandolier of carrots? (Really.)

Viva la Erection!

Gopherit June 24, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Autochthon June 24, 2009 at 1:10 pm

“Tonight, on Firing Line – Heterosexal Affairs: A New GOP Trend?”

magic titty June 24, 2009 at 1:14 pm

He was KIDNAPPED BY NEGROES.

McDuff June 24, 2009 at 1:27 pm

Reporter: Why couldn’t you just call and let the Lt. Gov. know where you were?

Sanford: I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!

canadians for pussy June 24, 2009 at 1:27 pm

at least he did not come to cunuckistan for his gay tranny buttseks.

Lascauxcaveman June 24, 2009 at 1:35 pm

[re=346498]Extemporanus[/re]: Nice. I’m not a bunny, but I’d nibble her carrots.

Youstonedorjuststupid? June 24, 2009 at 1:37 pm

[re=346487]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I dunno, lookit the “vacation” spots he liked to goto, looks like buttsehks ftw.

“Sanford said he has taken adventure trips for years to unwind. He has visited the coast of Turkey, the Greek Isles and South America, sometimes with friends and sometimes by himself. “I would get out of the bubble I am in,” he told the newspaper.”

Autochthon June 24, 2009 at 1:37 pm

[re=346522]McDuff[/re]: “You know I love you baby. I wouldn’t leave ya.”

McDuff June 24, 2009 at 1:44 pm

[re=346540]Autochthon[/re]: Maybe Sanford shoudl try the I was ON A MISSION FROM GOD excuse.

LittlePig June 24, 2009 at 1:57 pm

[re=346498]Extemporanus[/re]: Shoot. I was hoping for baby carrots.

Superfluff June 25, 2009 at 12:59 am

Play Sanford Off, Keyboard Cat!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB5bu9lxeDU

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