Wonkette
WONKETTE ATHLETIC COVERAGE: Tonight, for the first time in three years, your Wonkette will attend the annual Roll Call Congressional Baseball Game at Nationals Park, to produce epic journalism (get drunk and take stupid pictures). Your male associate editor and Intern Riley will be sitting somewhere, so if you any of you other attendees somehow know what we look like, be sure come over and say hi or punch us in the face. It starts at 7:00. You can still buy billions of tickets, since it is at an enormous professional athletic stadium. Proceeds go to charity, too, so you can pretend to feel good about yourself. [Roll Call]
If you see any Republicans there, remind them that the Nationals are getting their asses kicked by a bunch of Hispanics, including the guy who knocked up Palin’s daughter (according to reputable source David Letterman.) Then remind them that the team’s owned by an East Coast billionaire. Please take pictures of any suicidal swan dives that result.
Never thought I’d say this, but go Yankees.
I consider myself something of a connoisseur of Santorum pics (oh come on, guys, not like that!), and so I’m a little disappointed in myself that I’ve never seen that AWESOME one of him before.
John Ensign was supposed to be there — until the Republicans found out he plays for the wrong team.
HA HA have fun getting rained on…but at least it’ll be better than watching the Nats lose
Either the Ds or the Rs could beat the Nationals.
Now why would we punch you in the face? I’m thinking we head up to the cheap seats where I can blow all of you in relative comfort & anonymity. Bring a blanket!
Love the caption on the Little Rickie pic.
Looks like Rickie’s saying he’s not afraid to see some high hard chin music.
Ricky Santorum was the best catcher the Butts Pirates ever had.
Jim:
My solar-powered hovercraft cannot possibly get me to the game before it ends (it is overcast right now.) However, could I take a rain cheque and punch you in the face some other time? Please advise.
Kindest.. blah blah blah
Your pal & mine
Canuckledragger
No punching Riley. I would have to take exception to any such activity.
Will there be live twittering of teh game, Jim? There had be live twittering
You think we can’t find Riley in that top hat he wears? They caught the syphilis before it led to blindness.
I know that Senator Ensign has been a slugger for the Republican team for the past couple years at least, wonder if he will be noticeably absent this time? The staffer that ratted him out could have had the curtosy to wait until he got to play the big game in the big time stadium again, come on!
(Frustratingly, I can’t seem to find the photographic proof of him at the 07 or 08 game I know exists out there since I’ve seen it in the past)
Yeah, no punching Riley. He’s just a child, and a sensitive-looking one at that. Jim’s Irish; he’s no doubt been punched harder by his mother.
Is that a SOMALI pirate?
Careful about getting knocked up by A-Rod or Willow or whatever. Apparently it’s a common problem between certain innings.
So the Comics Curmudgeon will not reprise his role in the previous Wonkette outing? Well, have fun and don’t drink too much.
If Liz Becton shows up tell her I said hi.
gurukalehuru: Butt Pirate.
I hate Tommy Lasorda.
I heard that back in his first stint in Congress during the 1920’s, Ron Paul was a big star of this game. Too bad he probably doesn’t play anymore. The blimp overhead would be awesome.
You can still buy billions of tickets,
since it is at an enormous professional athletic stadiumbecause the Nationals totally suck.[/fixed]
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Jukesgrrl: You think we can’t find Riley in that top hat he wears?
Ah, didn’t you hear? It’s Monopoly Monocled Plutocrat Night tonight at the stadium. You’ll never find the wee laddie.
qwerty42: Ha ha, seeing professional politicians in baseball uniforms once was enough for one lifetime, thanks. Be thankful that pic of Santorum isn’t from the waist down, as those pants clung to every nook and cranny.
Can’t make it–heading out to Camelot, Good Guys and Archibald’s with John Ensign.
“so if you any of you other attendees somehow know what we look like”
Jim, aren’t you one of People’s 100 Hottest Bachelors?
Fuck the National League. Come to think of it, buck both leagues. But have fun, you two.
I’ve always thought of the Wonkettes as huge athletic supporters.
bitchincamaro: TAKE YOUR DH AND SHOVE IT, YOU AMERICAN LEAGUE SCUM.
/end rant.
Is this some kind of media experiment on torture like Mancow’s waterboarding? Cause from what I’ve seen, that’s what going to a Nationals game is tantamount to.
Jim, if you go home with a broken nose tonight you can’t say you didn’t ask for it.
Please do not leave young Riley unsupervised amongst such uncivilized folk. They’re a bad influence! They’ll teach him bad habits like apologizing without really apologizing.
If you can cover congressional baseball of all the silliness available, the least you can do is cover the Furries’ convention, Anthrocon, in Pittsburg Pa July 4 weekend? I can’t go because my time is too valuable, but you have interns.
shortsshortsshorts: TAKE YOUR DH AND SHOVE IT
actually … yeah. If the pitcher doesn’t go out and swing at everything, it just isn’t baseball.
HEY … Another beer over here!!
Extemporanus: Pitcher. I still remember him out there kickin’ the rubber.
Also, his slider had some bite.
Accordion-o-rama: He only pitched in the minors, though. When he finally got called up, he switched to catcher and wowed everyone with the hustle he showed in chasing down foul balls.
Extemporanus: Plus, in 2005, he set the team record for both runs and errors.
Man! I really wish I’d saved my “Santorum Slide” rally towel…
hobospacejunkie: i wanna be blowed!
Now, I know Ken looks like the dude who used to sell me seeds and stems and I’m pretty sure Jim looks like Ana Marie Cox with smaller tits and a fatter ass. Is Riley the intern who looks like Anne Frank?
According to Rachel Maddow, the Dems are ahead 15-7 in the bottom of the sixth (if I remember correctly). Damn you, Ensign!
cal: How hard can it be to recognize an Irish sixteen year old with another teenager in a top hat? Jim only dreams of anonymity. I’m puzzled by Ensign’s absence, though. Given it’s a sporting event, isn’t it rather routine, nay, dull, for a player to be screwing around on his wife?
If he’d been caught wearing a panda suit, however . . .
shortsshortsshorts: YOU AMERICAN LEAGUE SCUM.”
Yeah, because there’s nothing more exciting than watching the manager think. (Ongoing Amer/Natl league battle).
Jesus. I just read somewhere that Bill Richardson used to pitch or something at these games. Really? Bill Richardson? I can’t see him hurling anything besides his fists inside mayonnaise vats.
qwerty42: “If the pitcher doesn’t go out and swing at everything, it just isn’t baseball.”
After watching Randy pitch and Edgar hit behind Griffey in the good old days, I know watching that eight foot tall geek swing weakly at a pitch is so much more exciting.
Parents, please have your young sons stay away from the ball players
Rev. Peter Lemonjello: He used to talk about how he had been scouted to play pro ball. It turned out it was more of a inquiry than an attempt at recruitment, but he is Latino, and they’re all naturally good at baseball, like how our president is naturally good at basketball and John McCain is naturally good at getting skin cancer.
Like I’d go over there to watch a team worse that the D.C. Nats.
Who is on the roster now for the Washington Generals?
DustBowlBlues: All decent NL pitchers know how to bunt, I’ll give them that. Still, the AL seems to win the All Star games and World Series’, there’s that.
Meh. Needs more spontaneous buttsecks.
Bad pics here.
Extemporanus: You’re right. When I think of Santorum, I think about the runs.