Wonkette
Politico WON THE MORNING today, and that’s not even an overused joke — it truly won! And the Shenanigans blog isn’t under the Link Ban, so ta-da: a link! The story is about an executive assistant at “McBee Strategic” e-mailing Elizabeth Becton, scheduler for Democratic Rep. Jim McDermott, to set up a meeting. Becton doesn’t respond for a while, so the assistant sends a follow-up e-mail — but this time with the salutation “Hi Liz,” thinking that’s what she goes by. Turns out she doesn’t, AND SHE REALLY DISLIKES IT WHEN PEOPLE CALL HER THAT.
Liz Becton is calamitously insane, over the course of a 20-part e-mail conversation, ending with: “Sounds like you got played by someone who KNOWS I hate that name and that it’s a fast way to TICK me off. Who told you that I go by that name? They are not your friend…” Anyway, if any of you readers need to schedule an appointment with Liz Becton in the future, best try this OH SHE’S HAD ENOUGH, nevermind.
[Politico]
Can we call her Bristol?
Liz(ard Person)
Jon: “Liz.” That’s a pretty name. Is that short for Elizabeth?
Liz: No, it’s short for “Lizard.”
Insert generic PMS joke here: _________
And it’s Ms. Becton if ya nastay!
I think I’m in love.
I may have sent some sort of email in her general direction. I hope she doesn’t really believe that the AFL-CIO needs to meet with Jim…
I think it is clear that she lacks the temperament to be a scheduler for Representative McDermott. Scheduling decisions should not be made on empathic bases, and her poor writing reveals herd intellectual inadequacy for a position requiring a firm grasp of lucid correspondence.
Wait, Becton isn’t Latinate, is it?
Liz: “Where do you get your information?”
JPMC: “From people that hate your guts.”
It is to avoid just such misunderstandings that I insist on referring to women by the appellation of “cunt.”
I wonder if Betty will schedule the meeting I just requested with McDermott and a hermit!
Does a McDermott staffer really have any room to talk about “eavesdropping?”
Most likely she’s a Betsy.
“I row with a lot of other women who share the same first name.”
Well, that’s the problem then, Ms. BecTAWN.
Nice find Jimbo, I bet Kenny wishes he found it first.
i sympathize with liz. i just hate it when people call me ppyp.
“Elizabeth” is you’re going to be familiar, but “Mistress” is preferred.
I AM NOT A NAIL!!!
Seems like a Freedom of Information Request is in order. And maybe a waterboarding. Or at least some kind of watersports.
Liz is a pretty testy gate-keeper. Sounds like she still hasn’t found her Rick Moranis key-master.
Sounds like someone was called “Jizz Liz” in Fifth Grade.
Lighten up, Francis.
Hey Liz: Just thought I’d drop you a line. I used to go to high school with a girl called Liz, and was wondering if you were her. I don’t remember her last name though. You’d remember me, I have a 15-inch p**** when flacid.
Anyhoo, Lizzie-Lez, if it is you, maybe we could get together for coffee and then have teh hot, hot animal seckks, otherwise which do you prefer, Liz, Lez, Lezbot, Schlitzy-Lizzie, The Lizzonian, Lizzmeister, The Lizzinator, or Cocksmoker?
Thanks for your time.
Too aggressive?
“a past time”?
As in they used to do that in a time past?
“eaves drop”?
As in what forms icicles in the winter?
It’s not a good idea to be grammatically incorrect when mercilessly overplaying offense that was more than adequately covered in numerous apologies.
Blogger corrected her mistakes for her.
Quit apologizing and never call me anything but Elizabeth again. Also, make sure you correct anyone who attempts to call me by any other name but Elizabeth. Are we clear on this? Like I said, it’s a hot button for me.
Settle down, Francis.
EB has a point but someone in her position should’ve just rolled with it. Dealin’ with a gatekeeper-we’ve all been there.
LIZ LIZ LIZ LIZ LIZ LIZ!
Where do you get your information?
Lizard people.
I’m one of McDermott’s constituents and WE’RE ALL LIKE ELIZABETH! I hate it when people call me “Kev” and not “Kev-O”. Totally rude.
Beth Betty Lizzy Betsy Bess Liza E-lizzle E-Dawg ElizaCUNTY BITCH needs to take it down a notch.
Someone needs to buy Liz a high quality toy. Stat.
Duderino, if you’re not into the whole brevity thing
This gangster bitch just should go full Wu-Tang and refer to herself as LZA.
I also sometimes leave my desk to go to the bathroom, which is why my comment is so late.
I’m conflicted — on the one hand, Ms. Becton sounds like a harpy. On the other hand, the meeting the other person was trying to set up was for JP Morgan Chase. I think I’m siding with the harpy on this one.
Oh for God’s sake, it’s not like you were called “lez.”
OK, I confess. We used to call her “Jizzy Lizzy” back in middle school.
We didn’t think the scars would last this long.
That’s no mere stick up her ass, it’s a uranium fuel rod.
Well, that will certainly make her life better. I went to Shenanigans and she is getting slammed in the comments. I do feel sorry for her; now she is also famous in Wonkette (the well-known Library of Congress SCOTUS blog).
Liz (seething in anger):
Are we clear on this?
XXX (apologetically):
I am very sorry if I offended you.
Liz (in a rage):
Quit apologizing and never call me anything but Elizabeth again. Also, make sure you correct anyone who attempts to call me by any other name but Elizabeth.
XXX:
Thanks Liz. And sorry.
Lizzie Becton took an axe, . . .
I can see this is an issue that really matters to McDermott’s constituents.
(Pssst! Liz, if you are lez call me.)
We can compromise and make it Beth then. Beth Becton. BB for short.
Judging by her grotesque Six Flags-caricaturist picture used in The Politico (Mexico’s finest paper recycling RNC talking points), she appears to be one of the many Peggy Noonan clones developed by Josef Mongele in the jungles of Brazil. I sawr a documentary about it, and James Mason was involved as well.
A Liz by any other name would smell as ragingly cunty.
as an italian-american with a 5-syllable name that gets mis-pronounced ALL THE TIME, i’m offended that Liz gets her panties all in a bunch over a mis-appropriated nickname.
why does Lizzy Becton hate American’s with hard-to-pronounce names? what will we tell the children.
i also do sometimes leave my desk to whack off in the bathroom. please don’t call without leaving a message.
As someone who lives “outside the beltway,” I’m beginning to suspect that everyone who works in D.C. is an egotistical, self-absorbed, self-important, pretentious, batshit-crazy asshole.
But I could be wrong.
Her Congressional work/pay history reveals she’s been working for congresscritters for a long time, but that McDermott is the first Dem for whom she’s worked. MOLE!!!
Little Betsy Becton has gone to the big city to become Lucrezia Borgia. Mind if I call you Zia?
Bett has too much time on her hands to fight such battles as these.
you know, lizzy only makes like 8 bucks an hour, so cut her some slack
staffer salaries
Now that the initial buzz has worn off and the entire free world has chimed in with the aim of shoving the nickname “Liz” down her throat, I feel deflated, depressed, and a little sad for her. But mostly I’m pissed because those Shenanigans commenters got such a giant head start.
Dave J.: where did you get your information? i REALLY want to know. whoever sent you that link is not your friend…
The Legend of TeaBagger Vance: Not really. Her annual salary for 2009 is only for the first few months. She’s making like 65-70K/year.
*tinkling of glasses and overlapping conversation of a DC cocktail party* “Hello, it’s nice to meet you…uh…Did you say your name was A-lizard-barfed-bacon?”
She got a 70% salary increase when she went to work for McDermott (from Jo Ann Davis). I wonder if McDermott gets to call her Liz? The site lets you suggest alternative names, also.
http://www.legistorm.com/person/Elizabeth_J_Becton/31855.html
Mr Blifil: Does it get any longer when tumescent?
Betsy & Bessie are fat girl names. So she’s one of the two. Her office mates need to take her out to a bukakke party. Being the center of attention there will loosen her up.
Hope you like your new job spraying the crops at the White House, LIZ.
The Legend of TeaBagger Vance: Nah, it looks more like $60K for a year. That’s more than I make, and I am nice to most people. I mean, I am nice to many or to some people.
Dave J.: but don’t staffers work like 16 hour days?
Lizzie Becton took an axe
And gave the Becton assistant 40 whacks,
When she saw what she had done
She gave that apologizer 41.
The ‘McBee Strategic’ person should have replied back:
“Kathleen told me you went by Liz. She also told me all about your college days. Wow, I can’t wait to met you. Are all of those stories true?”
Whoever was on the other end of The Legend of TeaBagger Vance: $6ok a year is a lot more than 8/hr
“In the future, you should be VERY careful about such things. People like to brag about their connections in D.C. It’s a pastime for some. It’s also dangerous to eavesdrop, as you have just found out. Quit apologizing and never call me anything but Elizabeth again. Also, make sure you correct anyone who attempts to call me by any other name but Elizabeth. Are we clear on this?”
Oh sweet fried christ in a bucket… she must be soooo smokin’ hot, because she sure wasn’t hired for her tact and efficiency.
Dave J.: The four quarters for 08 (the last quarter is officially in 09 expenditures I guess) actually adds up to over $90K. Hope she saved some of it.
A Better American Than YOU: It’s broken down by quarter… $88k/year.
This woman is AWESOME.
Oh I probably shouldn’t have linked to her e-mail (even though it was in the comments of most stories about this and, presumably, she’s been dealing with e-mails all day), and have taken it down, so I do not encourage any more warring, but do what you will.
I refuse to be at anyone’s Becton call.
“Liz” was the name she went by in high school. However, she was shamed miserably by that name during the high school prom (something to do with many many football players). The new Elizabeth emerged during Freshman Year at college. However, she did not have the foresight to spell the name with an ’s’ therefore anytime the name Liz is mentioned she reverts to her high-school personality. Sexy?
19kevin8: as a former customer service lackey, i was suggesting that someone who makes peanuts might understandably get a little short-tempered from time to time. obvs if she’s pulling in 60k she could be nicer to people in her correspondence.
what’s with the literal brigade all of a sudden? where’d you get your information?
Bukakke party tonight!
Bukakke party tonight!
Bukakke party tonight!
Jim Newell: I posted it to the Politico article comments. Just for shits and giggles.
Is there a Guinness record for Most obviously fired person in the world?
Her FaceBook picture shows her to be something of a Romantic of a certain age — younger than moi, at any rate.
Jim Newell: if you call and don’t leave a message, she’ll know.
rambone: Me, too…although I use Vaginarian because it sounds classier. Sometimes with “Ms.” in front of it if I’m really turning on the charm.
Jim Newell: “…I do not encourage any more warring, but do what you will.”
Agreed. Mission PULVERIZER commence now. See you War-inbox for details.
Oh, so the war’s moved from Twitter to Paultards to e-mail now. Seriously, e-mail was CREATED for this nasty work-related crap. And what’s wrong with Instant Messenger, why are there no wars going on there?
ph7: You forgot about a frog named Kermit.
Wow, to be that bitchy for that long takes some effort. I just get sleepy…..
Sad Liz is prob’ly a PUMA needing an intervention.
I vote for Betty Becton. Alliteration turns me on (and I, myself, as the gurukalehuru’s real life identity, have an alliterative name).
I’m assuming she’s single, and will stay that way for a long time.
Still, I’d like to see pix.
And do not call me a “public servant”! Queen Elizabeth is nobody’s SERVANT.
It would also be inappropriate to use either of these 2 phone numbers in an online form that might result in Liz getting marketing phone calls:
(202) 225-3106
(202) 225-6197
gurukalehuru: There is an Elizabeth Becton on FaceBook. She’s a fan of some DC women’s photo group, so she’s a like candidate.
I kind of like the crazy bitch. I read the exchange and the McBee EA started getting on my nerves immediately. Using exclamation points when apologizing makes you seem chirpy and insincere.
A Better American Than YOU: Terrifying
This is wonderful, and it reminds me of this, which is also wonderful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXhnzIO5N30
chascates: Pure, unadulterated evil.
I’m headed over to Bessie’s to dry hump one of her cow legs. Anyone wanna join me?
Country Club Jihadi: I am a Liz, and I am totally steeling that.
Huge BEE-OTCH!
http://dyspathy.com
19kevin8: Not in D.C.
I’m an old timer Dem Hill staffer, and the fact that she worked for Repugs and then McDermott hired her is infuriating. There are plent of poor Dems that worked for free for Obama and other Dems in the 08 campaign that deserve a shot to have the fun that is the Hill. Fire her ass (because she deserves it for her birchy actions), and hire a Dem. The BEST part? That the lobbyists outed her bullshit to Politico. She gives us other REAL public servants a bad name. She can make my Pot Belly sandwiches I buy every Friday.
A Better American Than YOU: 19kevin8: That isn’t PMS, it’s friggin’ MENOPAUSE.
Hi Liz,
I just wanted to let you know that, since, as a taxpayer I pay your salary, I will be referring to you as Liz in any official communication. I don’t know if you particularly care at this point but I felt it was best to put that on the record. And feel free to call me Woody!
Thanks,
Woodwards Friend
“A meeting with Jim McDermott is a fucking value thing!”
Give small people the slightest semblance of power and they suddenly go all “Uday Hussein” on a bitch.
Dave J.: GAAAAH! She started in Alaska! Nutjob snowbilly biznitch from hell NOT named Palin! Run, run, run!!!!111!1
Given that XXX was trying to set up a meeting for a lobbyist for Citigroup, I think Liz’s emails were beautifully done.
Fuck, I knew it, saw this earlier and was waiting with baited breath for it to hit here, then I had the great idea to take a nap. :/
oh well, at least I got someone to send her an e-mail addressing her as E.Lizardbreath at HuffPo. I also invited her to enjoy a bag of dicks on shenanigans, so I feel good about that.
Lay off. She was becton all night in an alley by Logan Circle, so today she’s a little tired an’ cranky.
WideStance: Here’s a list of McBee’s clients. Lots of Indian tribes. Whom I’m sure they’re screwing left and right:
http://www.mcbeestrategic.com/allclients.php
Jim Newell: Ha ha! Real world intersections with teh reading/commenting world SUXES, doesn’t they?
I got physically threatened at a college basketball game one time, because I had written a critique of the frat boys’ cheering technique (it failed to measure up to my previous alma mater’s). Not being a total puscatore, I left press row and went up and sat with the threateners, which moderated the threats slightly, but not completely. Reading sucks.
Youstonedorjuststupid?: Bated. Does baited even make sense? You were eating sushi? Srsly, wtf?
Lazy Media: I think “sending stupid e-mails” is considered part of the “reading/commenting world.”
I always thought it was exciting when Paultards issued fatwas against me at various campaign events.
Hey Liz,
Lizzie Lizzie Bo-Bizzie, Banana Fanna Fo Fizzie, Fee Fi Mo Mizzie! Liz!
Lovingly,
Facehead
Youstonedorjuststupid?: Don’t be so hardon yourself. A nap is always a great idea.
Jim Newell: At least you didn’t get chased down the street a la Hannity. That guy should take up concealed carry as his next Konservativ Kauz.
On the other hand, the person who chose Elizabeth’s nickname for her might think for a minute before s/he does that again. I object to familiarity from people I don’t know.
Lazy Media:sorry, stoned… or was it stupid? I dunno still sleepy.
Winsome: True dat. But a non-crazy person responds with something like, “I prefer to be addressed as Elizabeth.” and then answers the e-mail.
Personally, I like being addressed as “Mr. Lazy Media,” and if my promotion comes through next month to lieutenant commander, I’m doing to insist on “Commander Lazy Media.”
Youstonedorjuststupid?: No need to apologize. I get bitchy when I’m drunk, and I haven’t had a drink since Sunday. Cracked the seal @ 4:30, and now I’ve had eight glasses of wine in two hours. Apparently, I’m an alcoholic.
Liz’s Facebook page photos seem to be gone but here are two that were cached:
http://profile.ak.facebook.com/v226/1802/114/q1427143815_9798.jpg
http://profile.ak.facebook.com/v225/949/56/q550370214_2445.jpg
I think she would be happy to be called anything other than “sooey.”
Lazy Media: How about “Grand Moff Lazy Media”?
Man, Betty…..those replies about the liz thing were ugly. ugly, Betty.
Liz needs to send out some “funny” racist emails STAT.
There was a musician (read: band geek) at my high school who went by Be-beth. will that work better?
CollegeStudent: Stutterer?
Lazy Media:
*ding ding* Commander, Lazy Media, arriving.
no stinger for you.
Jim Newell: In order to make up for it, why don’t we all take up a collection to take LIZ out and get her knee-walking drunk and then laid like a linoleum floor. I heard Senator Ensign might be up for it.
Youstonedorjuststupid?: Schweet!
There was absolutely no reason for Bitsy to get so salty…
Would Senator Ensign lick the cheese “fumunda” her thick knees? Oh LIZ….you have kankles!
19kevin8: SQUID!
Lazy Media: Hey. You are my brother. Just saying. Srsly. I thought so, but the basketball thing clinched it.
Today we are all Elizabeths!
Boojum: Anybody who doesn’t get your Snark reference needs to be banned from teh Internets.
Lazy Media: And be condemned to an agony in eight fits.
I worked with Elizabeth Becton for three months as an intern and I can tell you this is PAR FOR THE COURSE. She is full time batshit. The McDermott office is filled with very smart, very dedicated people who deeply care about what they do. It’s an ongoing tragedy that they have to work under Loose Cannon (her office nickname).
If anyone is interested, here are some tidbits from the blog I kept about Ms. Becton. I referred to her as “Ratched,” in the text. It seemed appropriate.
http://intern-congress-lame.blogspot.com/search?q=ratched
Schedulers: The most overworked, least-respected fulltime staffers in the office. Their decisions can be overruled by anybody. No wonder Liz is going nuts. Someone needs to frisk her for weapons, then tell her to get back to her clock and calendar.
thursday: Wow. I’m so glad you shared this, because some tiny part of me was worried that maybe this McBee Strategic assistant was actually a huge douche and Liz was letting lose some well deserved venom on him.
But no, she’s just a nasty megalomaniac. Hoorah! Continue the war-emailing!
thursday: Loose Cannon Liz. aka Ratched
nice!
Hey Liz,
Show us your tits.
I went to share the article from Politico on Facebook. It posted this:
“Anne Schroeder’s Shenanigans Blog covers gossip and lifestyle in Washington as part of Politico.com’s comprehensive coverage of national politics, Congress, Capitol Hill, the 2008 presidential race, lobbying, advocacy, and more.”
2008 Presidential Race?
Boojum: That was interesting. I guess legislation really is like making sausage. And Liz is a pig with lipstick. It’s nice to know there are actually some good people there.
Legislation is like making sausage out of money when some of sausage makers want bacon and some want toast. I’m not sure why, but I think the meds are working now and Wonkette is floating like a hot air balloon,
I’m Lizzing!
I don’t know her,but I can smell a cunt from a mile away!
My colleague told me you called while I was away at the Ladies’ room. I do sometimes leave my desk.
TMI! TMI! My mind’s eye! My mind’s eye!
Jeebus, she worked for Joann Davis? She must be goddamn brilliant because Davis was dead about 6 months before anyone noticed.
thursday: Is this the one?
If so, it appears she is Facebook “BFF” by her progeny Neal, William, and Martha (she reproduced? Jesus H. Christ on a Rascal©!)…and she lives in Atlantic Beach, FL, when she is not making the lives of fine folk like yourself a total fucking nightmare…
More forensics…there is only one McBee Admin/Office Mgmt. staffer with the title “Executive Assistant”…could it be this multi-culti Marcia Brady look-alike?
She strikes me as the type that would inflict punctuation abuse on a reader.
If anyone were interested in emailing Liz, you would find her email addresses here:
http://www.muckmakers.com/elizabeth-becton-email-address/
Eliot Spitzer had to pay a whore $1,000 an hour to get a mouth spank like Liz gives out for free.
I love Liz !!! Talk mean to me !!!
this is the 15 minutes nobody wants.
heh.
Best of the 90 withering/repetitive comments at Legistorm:
by The Founding Fathers
on 06/17/2009 11:39 PM EDT
Dear Liz, You aren’t what we had in mind at all.
But WHAT is POTLATCH?! Is this something all you DC people know? because it sounds like something all snooty and Belizean Grovey, and I think this assistant person must have been totally namedropping that; she brings it up like 15 times. In which case The Cunt’s attitude could (possibly???) have been . .. I don’t know, sort of understandable?
Or am I overthinking this? Shit. I’m high.
Somebody, help. Please.
Also, Lazy Media needs to stop posting random syllables, please. Also.
commiegirl: It’s probably this thingee, sponsored by a bunch of chardonnay-swillin’, expatriate Dungeness crab-sucking Seattleites…why wasn’t I invited?
schvitzatura: That’s not her. I feel bad for the poor Liz on facebook. She’s probably gotten all kinds of crap already. I have to protest against this internet campaign against her email account, too. It’d be much, MUCH more helpful just to send email to McDermott demanding her firing.
How awesome was the person on the other end of this? She deserves 9 beers, at least.
There’s a yahoo mail account someone at reddit established called lizbectonforpresident@yahoo.com
password= pzzword
SEND LIZ YOUR SUPPORT!
Wonder how much it would cost to get Carlos Alazraqui (Reno 911!, but also was the voice of the Taco Bell chihuahua) to give her a call and say, “Here Lizzy, Lizzy, Lizzy…”
thursday: Wow, that girl sounds AWFUL! I do think everyone shohuld keep calling her Liz, lizzie, lizbo, beth, anything you can think of
mynameisdetroit: WIN
rambone: As a female Wonketeer, I enjoy the snark, but that word is offensive (except when used in reference to Sarah Palin).
thursday: “You don’t get paid. You don’t have a business card here. I have two
English degrees.”
Ridiculous!
You deserve lots and lots of free intoxicants for having to put up with that harpy.
You WILL address me by my proper TITLE: Mr. Malvones Veracruz de la Joya Cardinal, Adjunct Viceroy and Vending Machine Archduke
commiegirl: Potlatch is from that other Washington - a redistribution of wealth thingie. We call them taxes in the DC Washington - ask any teabagger.
From: XXX
Sent: Friday, May 22, 2009 11:38 AM
To: Dearest, Mommie
Subject: JPMC Meeting Request
Mommie Dearest,
Attached is a meeting request for JP Morgan Chase who will be in Hollywood June 3rd-4th and would like to request a brief meeting with the Congressman.
Let me know if you need any additional information.
Thank you!
Best,
XXX
________________________________
From: XXX
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:05 PM
To: Dearest, Mommie
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
Hi Mommie,
just checking in on whether the Congressman is available next week. [REDACTED] can confirm a meeting time for you - JP is available at [REDACTED].
Thank you!
Best,
XXX
________________________________
From: Dearest, Mommie
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:07 PM
To: XXX
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
Importance: High
Who is Mommie?
Mommie Dearest
Executive Assistant/Office Manager
Office of Congressman Jim McDermott
XXXX Longworth House Office Building
Washington, DC 20515
XXX phone
XXX fax
________________________________
From: XXX
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:07 PM
To: Dearest, Mommie
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
Hi Mommie Dearest, I thought you went by Mommie - apologies if that is incorrect. Best, XXX
________________________________
From: Dearest, Mommie
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:08 PM
To: XXX
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
I do not go by Mommie. Where did you get your information?
________________________________
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:10 PM
To: Dearest, Mommie
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
Hi Mommie Dearest, I’m so sorry if I offended you! I thought you had gone by Mommie at a fundraiser, this was my mistake. Best, XXX
________________________________
From: Dearest, Mommie
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:11 PM
To: XXX
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
NEVER. I hate that name.
________________________________
From: XXX
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:13 PM
To: Dearest, Mommie
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
Hi Mommie Dearest, I’m so sorry if I offended you! I must have mis-heard. My mistake! Best, XX
________________________________
From: Dearest, Mommie
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:20 PM
To: XXX
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
Importance: High
XXX:
If I wanted you to call me by any other name, I would have offered that to you. I think it’s rude when people don’t even ask permission and take all sorts of liberties with your name. This is a real sore spot with me. My name has a lot of “nicknames” which I don’t use. I use either my first name or my last name—AND I hate wire hangers! Now, if you ever want to schedule a meeting here, don’t use wire hangers and do not ever call me by a nickname again.
As for your meeting request, who is the point of contact for this meeting? If it’s not you, then I need to know who because it’s very time-consuming to deal with a lot of people for one meeting.
Thanks,
________________________________
From: XXX
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:23 PM
To: Dearest, Mommie
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
Hi Mommie Dearest, I’m so sorry I offended you! My mistake!
XXX can confirm a meeting time for you - she is available at XXX XXXX.
Thank you!
Best, XXX
________________________________
[UNRELATED EMAILS REDACTED]
From: XXX
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:33 PM
To: Dearest, Mommie
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
Of course! Again, I am sincerely sorry for offending you. I must have mis-heard and it was in no way my intention to make you upset. I always enjoy working with you and seeing you at the award events J
Best,
XXX
________________________________
From: Dearest, Mommie
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:37 PM
To: XXX
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
Sounds like you got played by someone who KNOWS I hate that name and that it’s a fast way to TICK me off. Who told you that I go by that name? They are not your friend…
________________________________
From: XXX
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:38 PM
To: Dearest, Mommie
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
Hi Mommie Dearest,
Again, I am sincerely sorry for offending you. I don’t want to cause trouble as I clearly must have mis-heard the person at the Oscars. It was in no way my intention to make you upset.
Best,
XXX
________________________________
From: Dearest, Mommie
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:41 PM
To: XXX
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
Importance: High
I REALLY want to know who told you to call me that.
________________________________
From:XXX
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:44 PM
To: Dearest, Mommie
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
Hi Mommie Dearest,
Again, I am sincerely sorry for offending you. I don’t recall who I overheard. It was in no way my intention to make you upset.
Best,
XXX
________________________________
From: Dearest, Mommie
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 6:04 PM
To: XXX
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
Let me put it this way, they don’t know me and perhaps they were PRETENDING to know me better than they do and pretended that I go by Mommie. They did YOU a disservice.
In the future, you should be VERY careful about such things. People like to brag about their connections in Hollywood. It’s a past time for some. It’s also dangerous to eaves drop, as you have just found out.
Quit apologizing and never call me anything but Mommie Dearest again. Also, make sure you never use wire hangars and correct anyone who attempts to call me by any other name but Mommie Dearest. Are we clear on this? Like I said, it’s a hot button for me.
And please don’t call the office and not leave a message. My colleague told me you called while I was away at the Ladies’ room. I do sometimes leave my desk.
She might as well now change her name to Liz.
Got to believe the cards, letters and cakes will be flowing in.
Keith Olbermann reads all emails as Liz:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oI-ficXX_ag
thursday: Your blog is awesome. I laughed. I cried. And I laughed again.
Love,
menopausal martinet
I wonder if the Liz-ter has a siz-ter who could raise a few bLIZters? Liztaunamo-Bay, Lizzy-Dizzy-ding-dong, maybe she needs a LIZ-otomy or should study LIZ-ology, she could go into the LizBiz or manufacture products like ‘Liz-Biscuits’ which could be pet treats or the term itself, Liz-Biscuit, could become slang to refer to the clitoris of any woman named Liz. Maybe we could all agree that the term ‘Liz’ will now mean ‘flatulent weasel snout’ and we can send emails to her that way.
A lot of people are saying she makes in the $60,000/year range. She made $27,000 in three months at McDermott’s office, which translates to an annual salary of $109,000. Yes, $109,000 a year.
She should resort to a decent republican solution to this problem.
1. Hold a fund raiser and raise one million dollars.
2. Use the funds to get herself laid.
I am sure there is a nice big pharma company that will contribute to you cause.
Country Club Jihadi: win