Wonkette
- ROAD TO RECOVERY: Oh golly, those sasspants over at Roll Call: “House Republicans presented a four-page outline of their health care reform plan Wednesday but said they didn’t know yet how much it would cost, how they would pay for it and how many of the nearly 50 million Americans without insurance would be covered by it.” [Roll Call]
1. Costs less
2. Provides results for the American people
3. ???
4. Profit!
they’re the new know-nothings.
Four whole pages?
Remember, 1 in 3 Americans approve this message.
The other two thirds are bankrupt and/or dying.
A four-page outline of their health care reform plan ?!?!
All this time to come up with a solution to the health care mess and the Repubs only have a four page plan? FAIL! Come back when you have something that took you longer than one afternoon to write.
Come here a minute: SouthPark win!
Didn’t someone once say that if you put a typewriter in a room full of monkeys and you give them enough time they’ll eventually reproduce Shakespeare?
This was definitely a one monkey operation with a very short timer.
The Republicans are nothing more than thumb-less hitchhikers on the road to recovery.
I once wrote a four-page paper comparing two books, one of which I never read, fourty-five minutes before it was due. I got a B and I’m still ashamed at my mastery of procrastination.
This is like their “budget” that had no financial data, charts or graphs, no real plan, and really nothing in it. Does this “plan” have oddly overlapping venn diagrams that make no sense? WIN! As per: they gots nuttin’. FAIL.
Does it have nifty little abstract charts like their budget plan did? If it does, I’m so downloading it.
How do you Twitter a four page outline?
It’s just four pages of pictures of a man in surgical gloves holding a little boy’s balls.
“Hey! This is just four pages of copy-pasta from Wikipedia!”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_care_reform
SayItWithWookies: Comment of the day.
The fifth page is a picture of Kathleen Sebelius with a caption “Baby Rapist!“
Most of it is cadged from Dickens: “If they would rather die,” said Scrooge, “they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.”
SayItWithWookies: Dr. Rosenpenis?
“Republicans who stayed at the press conference to answer questions — the leaders made statements but didn’t stay — could not answer whether their plan would include a tax increase to pay for such costly items as refundable tax credits …”
Official GOP Health Care Plan: Don’t Get Sick.
(Run away! Run away!)
Let’s just face it. Health care for all is not going to happen in the US of A. You might as well forget about it and move to Canada or any number of civilized countries with a decent system for not dying unnecessarily or being ruined by a chronic illness in the family. No free medical care in the land of the free (enterprise).
SayItWithWookies: Dr. Rosen-rosen?
Essentially it just says NO SINGLE-PAYER option.
Better dead than red.
Republican Health Care Reform:
Please think about the Insurance Co profits before you see a doctor.
chascates: “Better dead than red.”
That IS the Republican healthcare platform.
hobospacejunkie: Dr. Rosen. Where’s the records room?
I read it. It’s hilarious. Brevity is wit.
As per a fellow Wonketteer’s suggestion yesterday, the republicans should do the right thing & decline their evil, socialistical govt-provided health care for life & instead purchase it on this open market of which they are so fond and which always provides the best options. IOW, put your money where your underage page’s peen usually is.
Nice to see that the Republicans learned from their April 1 alternate budget rollout.
twice as much planning as for the Iraq occupation, I’m impressed!
Extemporanus: I’m banning myself for the rest of the day for spastically hitting “submit” and bolloxing a good running gag. Feel free to use the whole fist, Doc…
Mightn’t we take just a moment to note that the folks at RollCall seem to understand the nature of journalistic objectivity? Alright. Now back to hawt Persians…
Georgia Burning: They *planned* for that?
Extemporanus: You’re doing fine. Just bring me a cup of hot fat. And the head of Alfred Garcia.
Monsieur Grumpe: More specifically if you gave an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters they would eventually produce the complete works of shakespeare. Systemic and logical problems with this idea aside, thanks to the internet we now know it’s not true anyway.
Come here a minute: In font size 120.
I don’t have time to read it but I’m guessing two pages say that any Democratic plan is SOCIALISM!!!!!!!!!!! and that some sort of tax break is included.
By “outline,” I assume you mean four half-finished pages ripped out of a Thundercats coloring book.
hobospacejunkie: I was accurate, but borgart-y.
And I’ll handle your order just as soon as I finish getting Wookies a Bloody Mary and a steak sandwich…and a steak sandwich.
Extemporanus: Ooh, I didn’t know there were prizes.
SlouchingTowardsWasilla: I read it. It’s hilarious. Brevity is wit.
Actually, the saying goes “brevity is the soul of wit,” but you, having shortened it have … hey, I see what you did there!
Extemporanus: So long as you put it on the Underhills’ bill then all is well.
“They will give low-income Americans tax credits to buy health insurance”.
I’m trying to find the hilarity, and failing. Help, help.
hobospacejunkie: Gracias, señor.
Pages 1 and 2 are a list of items that are “off the table.” Page 3 is a photo of the table. Page 4 is a list of amendments that will be added to the bill: killing EFCA, subsidizing the NRA, and giving billion-dollar payments to bankers, bond traders, hedge fund operators, sub-prime mortgage lenders, and every Major League Baseball team in America.
octupletsmom: Yeah, last time I checked you had to actually make enough money to pay taxes before a ‘tax credit’ was worth more than zero dollars.
If the people putting together the health care bill don’t find a way to cover every US America citizen the only conclusion to be reached is that they don’t care if the uninsured live or die.
chascates: Essentially it just says NO.
//fixed!
SayItWithWookies: that made my day!! lord knows i needed it!!!
Does Roll Call have a comment section?
They are children. The Democrats should hand it back to them with “Incomplete” written in big letters across the top. “You must do better than this, Eric, if you don’t want to fail English Composition.”
Mad Farmer Manifest: I’d prefer a game where every time an uninsured person dies because they couldn’t afford treatment, a random House member is taken out back & shot. This should speed up the health care bill negotiating quite a bit. We can import some Basij from Iran to do the dirty work.
Aside from Kenneth, who were the other three pages?
Were these four pages wearing smart suits, biker leathers or those chaps that show your ass so Larry Craig could jerk off to the plan?
Were the 4-pages mostly boxes with phrases and arrows to some faulty logical statement?
~ Insurance Corporations Out ~
No single-payer at the table…
Profits of death.