Wonkette
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Here’s more of John McCain making a damn ruckus over Iran. He truly believes that the United States must do whatever it can — use all available options! — to ensure Iran counts all votes in its domestic presidential election. (And it also needs to ensure that Ahmadinejad loses, regardless of how the votes play out. Democracy!) Just remember, again, that if WALNUTS! were president right now, you would be dead, regardless of age, as all Americans would have been shipped out to fight in the wars in Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, China, Russia, Spain, France, Mexico, “Africa,” Spain again, North Korea, Greece, Italy, Nazi Germany, the Carolinas, and Neptune. [MSNBC]
I would be the first one to sign up for the great and glorious Battle of Neptune.
You forgot the Great War on Northern Virginia, which WALNUTS was desperate to get in on after the election.
I hear that Neptunian chicks totally put out after they’ve been liberated.
WALNUTS! Doesn’t this man have a pair of underpants to shit in?
He’s sort of like Emperor Palpatine, but without the neat electricity gunfingers.
Would the battle of Neptune be a space battle or an undersea battle? Either way I volunteer my Chemist skills to the cause of Neptune liberation.
How long before President Ahmcainejad declares war on Uranus?
We must support the people of Iran by bombing them. Into democracy.
Neptune must pay for all the anal probing of drunk/high US American half wits! Or is it Uranus?
The Fundamentals of the Economy are strong”
If I have to be sent to war, then I want to go to Greece. The men are gorgeous, and there’s ouzo.
BTW, my city is under a tornado warning, so wish us luck.
We are all Neptunians now.
ManchuCandidate: Today, we are all anuses.
The Iranians must have freedom even if we have to shove it down their throats and butt-rape them with our star spangled dildos.
Personally, I cannot wait to leave the office and get home so that I can engage vigorously.
Somehow, somewhere, he’s gonna say The President’s health plan is a no-go unless we start a war with Iran.
But don’t you see? There was conclusive proof of fraud! Election returns allegedly showed that Mir-Hossein Mousavi didn’t carry his home region. That’d be like Al Gore not winning Tennessee. Impossible!
Just like the complete recount in that other sinkhole of unAmerican indecency… Florida.
Didn’t this guy LOSE to George W. Bush? ouch.
Joehoya: Have you been to Tennessee?
Min: Good luck indeed. We had that shit over here last Friday and again on Sunday. Be safe!
Vote my ass! Unless the US has become a nation of whiny butt-balling fagelehs, we need to ensure the reinstatement of the SHAH!
Hey Jim, you left out the war on that infidel David of Letterman.
Also.
I miss the tri-faced licking WALNUTS! gif.
What is up with the Republicans? It’s like they’ve wrecked their car and now feel that qualifies them to give everyone else driving lessons. Hey GOP — shut up, stay in the back seat where you belong, and let the guy drive.
El Bombastico:
Space Cadet Grumpe reporting for duty Sir!
Retirement beckons.
WALNUTS! just wants us to go to war with Iran for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS.
Noodle Salad: Or are we Neptunites?
How do you serve in the US senate for that long and not develop some sense of foreign policy beyond “if something makes you mad, yell at it (diplomacy) or bomb it (humanitarianism)?”
Mr. Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb bomb Iran needs a new tune. Take a nap McCain.
TGY: Not soon enough!!
oldguy: Beat me to it. Where was “this” Walnuts! in 2000 in FL or 2004 in OH?? Please, but OTOH I volunteer for Neptune or “Uranus,” whichevah comes, uh, first!
Why, oh why, won’t he just go away??
Subjected to a 30 second commercial from msnbc to watch that ass wipe? I’ll stick with the Wonkette summary, thank you.
If we had to put up with four more years of Bush, what’s wrong with the Iranians putting up with four more years of Immadingadong? Seems to me, to even things out, they should get at least another ten years. Share the misery, I say. Nail ‘em up, nail some sense into them! And someone give McWalnuts a change of Depends…his face looks like he did a poopie.
I watched the whole thing waiting to hear David Gregory say “you know, you got your ass handed to you in the last election so why should anybody pay attention to you?” but, sadly, I didn’t hear it.
And just wondering, how many interviews does one have to do before it stops becoming “exclusive?” since we all know John McCain would appear on the RW/Road Rules Challenge if they told him he’d be on tv.
Robot Santa lives on Neptune. Fuck that, I’m not going.
But what does Meghan McCain think about the political situation in Iran? Why has she been so quiet on this issue? What are the political, social, religious, theological, socio-political, cultural and historic implications regarding the situation in Iran–according to Meghan McCain?!
“And someone give McWalnuts a change of Depends…his face looks like he did a poopie.”
So maybe HE’s a guano faucet. Also.
David Gregory was “reporting” on The Today Show?! NBC never subjected Russert to such humiliation…your days of ruining Sunday mornings are numbered, Gregory.
that said: had McCain won, would Obama be doing this kind of shit? no, because he is a classy individual…McCain is just sticking around to see himself on TV, providing contrarian sound-bytes to lazy, former White House correspondents.
Did Walnuts! clear that jabber with his girlfriend, Miss Lindsey? Oh, yeah, I forgot, she’s in love with war, too. More work for JAG and she gets to wear that fancy uniform.
Min: Hold onto your hat, Min! Hope you don’t wake up surrounded by Munchkins.
In further developments, John McCain has announced he will immediately suspend his campaign and fly to Tehran to solve this crisis.
McCain thinks the mighty Iranian Ayatollahs are going to listen to America and do what we say?
That would be like Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and Rick Warren listening to Dan Savage on gay rights.
You cant reason with the theocracy.
They can only lose popular support on their own merits.
I’ve taken the safety off my anal intruder and I, too have an itchy trigger finger. Who’s with me?
The Neptunians will welcome us and shower our troops with flakes of solid ammonia. It’s a slam-dunk!
“We must restore Emperor Darius to the throne, post-haste! But we need allies! Quickly, Yes, send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail!”
there are definitely some Iranian boys I’d like to invade.
If the fight was over Uranus, this place would have near 100% participation.
Can’t we take a break from “helping” people for a while?
Who knew that the acorns were working for old ahmedinijad, anyway?
I think this puts the nail in the coffin for theories that John McCain’s staff is to blame for losing the election. He lost because not only is he literally wrong on everything, he can’t stop being on television while ainfully, shockingly wrong, repeatedly. It’s like he’s so damn counterintuitive that his brain actually works in reverse.
doxastic: thanks for that: WIN! After the election some pals of mine posited that perhaps Walnuts! picked Nailin-Palin & engaged in strange antics out of some weird sense of patriotism, so that Barry-O would win. At that time, I just barely entertained that fantasy on some level, but now?? Nah, stick a fork in ‘im, this one’s done (please).
It’s thanks to our hard-fighting troops on Neptune that dinguses like David Letterman can say mean things about the next Princess of the Galaxy with free speech.
This is good news….for John McCain.
Palin/McCain 2012!
PS - How soon can we make contributions to Obama’s reelection campaign?
Jukesgrrl: We’re all fine, but no Munchkins in sight. Too bad. I would have loved to see that house fall on top of Ann Coulter’s sister.
You forgot Poland!
I applaud McCain for modernizing by calling it Iran and not “Alexander’s Persian Realms”, as it was taught to him.
“we condemn the sham corrupt election”
is sham modifying corrupt?
If these Iranians don’t do a recount, we should DEFINITELY bomb the shit out of them.
You also forgot Canuckistan. The Canuckistanis are to blame for the lousy weather that we’ve been having in the Northeast. Jason Bay is eligible for forgiveness because of his dual citizenship (Red Sox Nation).
McCain Bolton Lieberman:
The two-faced AIPAC trio
Federal Reserve Faves
911 Liars
Give the Iranians a free and fair election. Shit, the world should have helped us have one in 2000. Whoomp, There It Is!