Wonkette
We know a little bit about disputed elections and revolutions and riots and such, and they all have one thing in common, throughout human history: Twitter. This is why Andrew Sullivan demanded that the always-broken Twitter not undergo some crucial scheduled maintenance tonight.
Because how are you supposed to throw rocks and shit, in Tehran, without a Silicon Valley startup’s Facebook-status-update thing? And now Twitter has given in, and the maintenance will happen tomorrow, so Twitter will probably still break tonight. [Twitter Blog]
See, the gays really do rule the world.
…thank goodness; without Twitter how do they expect the Iranians to coordinate their pillow fight flash mobs?!
We are all twats now.
If I were rich, I’d buy Twitter then shut it down forever.
Wait — Twitter Blog? Twitter Blog?! That’s basically an acknowledgement of failure right there, isn’t it? Like “abstinence condoms” or something.
SayItWithWookies: Fine point. Like a 0.5 mm pen.
TedTheLightBulbSalesman: If I were rich, I’d buy Twitter and charge these idiots for using it, or at least start sending contextuals with every message:
>>> Everyone, rush to Backalacka Street to stop the leader’s assasination!!! [Low, low prices on assasinations at Ebay.com]
Aw, the poor newspapers.
Only Twitter-enabled pet rocks, with mood rings, will be thrown henceforth.
if Sully were so powerful, how come Sarah Palin hasn’t admitted that Trig is not her child?
Johnny Zhivago: ‘Backalacka Street’ should be the Twitter Name that we organize the new Iranian Revolution under.
It’s also been vital for setting up proxy servers, which is how all of those video clips and photographs get out.
This confirms what we’ve known all along: Twitter is a liberal conspiracy!!!!!!1111!!!!!11
Also
I think throwing words around like “Backalacka Street” is rude, and disrespectful. I feel like it’s being implied that Farsi is a jibberish language. Please don’t be ignorant.
ummm: DON’T YOU SAY THAT ABOUT SULLY. He has magic laser-eyes, and is watching this.
It is a matter of your own safety.
Andrew Sullivan MURDERED the Twitter FAIL WHALE using his TWO BEAGLES and a WATER-PISTOL and I HAVE PROOF!!!At 7:50pm EST, in a Iranian election-related blog post titled “MSM-Bashing”, Mr. Sullivan exalted the singularly heroic efforts of a select few mainstream media operatives, dismissed cable news as utterly “useless”, and extolled the virtues of a non-traditional news future. The text of his original post ended thusly: “And I’m doing it on the end of a pier in Cape Cod surrounded by two beagles and a water-pistol (to control Dusty’s howling).”BUT!Mr. Sullivan’s self-indicting closing statement has since been redacted from the original post, which now closes on a much less douchey note!.If the Watergate scandal taught us anything—aside from the gag-suppressing capacity of the human throat—it’s that the coverup is often more illuminating than the crime. The postponement of Twitter’s previously scheduled routine maintenance is the direct result of Andrew Sullivan’s brutal, beagle-backed, water-pistol warblogging against a twitless whale!Mr. Sullivan MUST be called to account for his duplicitous Daily Dish revisionism. If not by Wonkette, then by whom?! Whom among us is brave enough to BLOG from our own private pier on behalf of the WHALES?The very integrity of the MSM hangs in the balance!
queenbitch: Mekka Lekka Hi-Mekka Hiney Ho! That means HELP ONESELF REVOLUTIONATING MACHINE in Illegal Alien-Speak. Do you speak Illegal Alien? If not then BACK OFF.
Extemporanus: At the moment, I’m entirely too inebriated to adequately ascertain whether the epic HTML FAIL [WHALE?] in my previous post undermines or underscores the underlying impact of its factual importance. Bottom line: Sully wrote a post about killing whales with beagles and squirt guns from his private pier in Cape Cod, changed it without comment, and then ragged on the MSM for not playing it straight when the time came to document the atrocities. The end.
It is very strange.I am agree with all the members of here.
Regards,MOON
employee wellness
Extemporanus: I’m interested in this beagles vs. whales face-off. I would especially like to interview the whale aferwards. To see what the beagle tasted like. Or if it even noticed the beagle’s taste at all while it was going down. Having known some beagles in my time, I imagine they taste kind of oily and stupid.
MOON: wow! you too? no way. you guys hear this? he am agree with all the members of here.
If Wonkette is a party, this guy MOON is invited. If he has really good weed and is otherwise quiet.
meyotch: I say don’t let him in until he gives us all blowjobs of wellness. Bukkake party on MOON!
If I were an Iranian secret policeman I’d be coming in my pants every hour on the hour. You have the entire “resistance” laid out in a database, your Windows screen saver shows traffic studies identifying cells and cell leaders in real time, with a click of the mouse you can pull up the middle initial and buttsex preferences of anyone you like, and when you pull on the vests and helmets and head out to bag some ringleaders, you just follow the pointing arrows on the in-van map directly to where the stupid assholes are standing around staring at their phones, which are radiating away as their owners feverishly type with their thumbs. Taser! Full-body canvas bag! Call dispatch for a pickup and go pluck the next one! Thomas Friedman’s next book is going to write itself.
Holy fuck, I mean, even Orwell assumed that disguises and hidden microphones would be used in Teh Future. Darwin in action…
Whoever is behind Twitter’s marketing and PR is brilliant. I’m sure this thing is all made up with Andrew receiving some kind of consulting fee out of it.
They are no different than all the incredibly boring B-list celebs who somehow made their career on tabloid journalism and the papparazzi. And they have found the same user base who is into updates on Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, with the first and only exception to this rule being Iranian dissidents - I wonder what they have in common with our friends at the GOP who want to ‘own’ Twitter.
Like King Canut the Great ordering back the waves, only this time the waves stopped like whipped puppies.
SayItWithWookies: A beagle vs. whale throw-down does indeed sound exciting, which makes Mr. Sullivan’s blatant obfuscation of said altercation all the more infuriating. With a few exceptions (e.g. sperm), whales are not anatomically equipped to battle, eat, swallow, or digest prey on the scale of the common beagle. Nor are they known for being predisposed to the granting of interviews. That said, I too have known some beagles in my time, and can state from first hand experience that—while they do indeed taste stupid—they are more earthy than oily. Regardless, ANDREW SULLIVAN spent the entire day BLOGGING about IRAN like he was riding SHOTGUN on some MOUSAVI-SUPPORTER’S Esprit, let slip a self-incriminating post describing the less-than-revolutionary bona fides of his blogging bunker du jour, and then—realizing the douchey disconnect inherent in his pier-side proclamation—86′d it. I happen to like Sully, and think what’s he’s doing vis-à-vis the whole Iranian kerfuffle is important, but for some reason that sorta un-noted edit really sticks in my craw.
You are so fucking wrong.
Just read the twitter feed coming put of Iran.
Can you not see what they are using it for?