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WONKETTE CONSUMER GUIDE
ALERT To All Ladies In Philadelphia
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1:23 PM
on Tue June 9 2009
By
Jim Newell
3123 Views
Can I get a raincheck for when I’m actually getting laid on a regular basis?
I got mine on layaway.
I’m 9 weeks today. Guess I should hop in the car and get going. Too bad, though - I was really hoping for a third trimester one. But you can’t beat the price.
Oh hey! Now I know what to do on my lunch hour. I just need to fire up the time machine and get Hannity, O’Reilly and Palin’s mothers and I’ll be all set.
heuristicdevice: I saw ads about that from National Rent-To-Die
That’s Beck’s tweet. He’s such a cut-up, so to speak.
Damn, I’m a dude and even I’m tempted to head over there and get me some of that sweet, sweet abortion.
Do they have those “Be nice to me I had an abortion today” stickers?
I’d settle for one of those li’l deuce packs of RU486 like as if they were Advils. Pre-emptive steeer-ike!
The Station Manager: Word! I love free stuff!
Today I regret being a man.
Aren’t we all required by Obama to have one anyway?
I’ll bet they still charge for rustproofing. That’s how they getcha.
Monsieur Grumpe: I regret not having a series of one night stands 6 to 8 weeks ago in the greater Philadelphia region.
Just in time for bikini season!
Can you get a Chinese take-out container for your aborted goo?
The Schadenfried PAC: Yeah, I have always been an advocate of retroactive abortion…
Does he do post-birth abortions (e.g. 40+ years) and does he who house calls for that price?
If anyone has Glenn Beck and Hannity’s home addresses let me know!
Internally valid: Pregnant you say? That’ll buff right out!
Internally valid: Here it’s the scotchguarding or maybe an extended warranty.
But, hey, I notice Tiller’s clinic is officially closing forever, which is sad because that fucking wing nut got exactly what he wanted.
Yeah that’s just a few blocks from my office! Abortion party time! Now if only I were a lady, and had actually been getting some recently.
JMP: and speaking of Philly, any idea where to get a veggie version of a cheesesteak? I hear your former mayor ate them.
These abortions are not gay ones. Fail.
So if this is a play off of “I am Spartacus”, does this not mean that executions are in order?
If i had only had sex a month or so ago, I could totally take advantage of this. Where is my foresight?
finallyhappy: Blasphemy!
For the shit of fuck, I wasted my lunch break on a crappy pedicure. I could have gotten my womb vacuumed AND saved $48! I guess I’ll just have to wait for the (sadly, probably inevitable) next horrific and tragic murder of an American medical hero by an unhinged wingnut neanderthal.
finallyhappy: That kind of defeats the purpose of the cheesesteak; the only acceptable replacement is chicken. Have seen them on some of the sidewalk vendors’ menus, though; don’t remember where.
Why, that’s cheaper than a box of condoms!
Do I get a free toothbrush? They’re pricey!
facehead: They should give out the same ones they do on Election Day. “I Aborted”
As usual welfare cheats will game the system, getting abortions, running out and fucking vagrants and then getting right back in line. This is why we can’t have nice things anymore.
Yes!! I’m not even female, but I think I will have something baby shaped removed from my anus in a symbolic gesture honoring the wonder of abortion.
a bunch of murderers!
a bunch of murderers of innocent children. Shame on you.
mpslim: I am laughing my ass off and hating myself simultaneously.
mpslim: I can’t believe you beat out lea111.
CivicHoliday: Congratulations! Or condolences…
finallyhappy: Tip Top Kitchen and Cocktails on Gay Street in Columbus, Ohio.
lea111: RED RUM RED RUM
lea111: Innocent my ass. As soon as they come out of the womb THEY HAVE AN AGENDA.
This is classic bait and switch. You go in just for the free abortion but you’ll walk out $10,000.00 poorer with fake tits on your face.