Wonkette
D.C.’s romance with blow began sometime in the late ’80s, a trend started by the Reagan Administration’s lavish White House cocaine socials featuring teenage boy-hookers and live performances by New Order. Fast-forward to 2009: D.C. is coked out beyond Oliver North’s wildest fantasies, except now all the delicious cocaine is mixed with baking soda and the entire Department of Homeland Security is infected with tuberculosis from sharing crack pipes in the office. [DCist]
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- With daily headlines exposing some sort of new gay congressional grab-ass scandal, it’s hard to believe anyone in D.C. is actually attracted to the Fairer Sex. But we now have photographic proof of a peeping-tom in Adams Morgan supervising someone going pee in a bathroom, a bathroom for LADIES. [Holla Back DC]
- Pretty people get all the good jobs, mostly because they have really cool names, like Kip or Alastair or Bianca. But aside from using a fake birth certificate like Obama, what else can help ugly people find work? How about a “Botox Bailout” from your friends at Reveal, located conveniently on Pentagon Row? It’s like the New Deal but for your face! [DC Metblogs]
- Every summer thousands of young impressionable political science majors flock to D.C. in hopes of having the privilege of emptying some congressperson’s pencil sharpener or doing other odd jobs only political science majors are fit for. This is called “Living the Dream.” But this dream was shattered for some poor intern after orchestrating an elaborate surprise office party for her congressman boss’s birthday, only to be sent back to her cubicle to lick stamps, because “those stamps won’t lick themselves.” [Spotted: DC Summer Interns]
Yo intern, stamps ain’t the only things that don’t lick themselves.
Despite the creepy hat, Waggaman, you’re making it worthwhile to change ‘wonkabout’ to ‘wonkette’ so the site recognizes me as a registered member (heh.) Keep up the funny. You practically crammed a crime novel into just one paragraph there at the beginning. Bravo!
mollymcguire: Hell…if I had a dollar for every time I heard that one, I’da been a paid intern.
“you’re making it worthwhile to change ‘wonkabout’ to ‘wonkette’ so the site recognizes me as a registered member”
Aha.
I hate when I get rick-rolled onto that pr0n site “wonkabout”
There you go again! They were not “boy-hookers”, no one paid them anything but a little well-deserved attention…and some precious bodily fluids. God bless.
hobospacejunkie: Double aha. Thanks! So that’s how it’s done.
Why is everything powder-blue all of a sudden?
I hope they give you space on the beige page, too, Riley!
I was born and raised in DC and I was doing blow there in ‘78 at the latest. Just ask anyone who was hanging out at Nathan’s, The Guards, The Foundry, or anywhere else in the 20007 zip. Just don’t quote me.
It seems this intern doesn’t realise that pizzas don’t really do it for most people besides other interns. If a member of congress is involved, you need to go for kobe steak, or at least a live fetus. (not to mention the lines of coke)
hobospacejunkie: I too have taken your advice and found it to be good. Thanks!
Bwwaaahhaaa. I CAN COMMENT AT WONKABOUT! Thanks Riley (Maria), and hobo.
Oh and did anyone see “X” last night at the 9:30 Club? I was tied up too late to risk buying a ticket only to find out they had already played.
There’s some pure gold at that DC Summer Interns site. Like this:
Heard: Newsworthy Celebrity
Traveling home one evening on Metro a notable news reporter was standing near me. As a courtesy, everyone was adhering to proper Metro conduct by leaving him alone and minding their own business. An intern was also standing near by and quite obviously staring at him. He noticed her and very politely said, “May I help you miss?” Her trance broken, she blushed and replied, “Oh no, I’m sorry, you just look a lot like my favorite reporter.” He smiled and jokingly said, “Well is he at least handsome?” Her response was, “Well I think so, but my friends don’t. And they all tell me he’s gay anyway.” He smirked and the conversation ended. Anderson Cooper left our train at the next stop.
I thought the lady behind me was going to die laughing. The intern never figured it out.
http://dcinterns.blogspot.com/2009/06/heard-newsworthy-celebrity.html
I will say only one things that this is a nice post. Keep it up like this.
Philips, you are so right! I like to think of this is as the happy-calm-powder-blue-room-of-serenity.
hoosiermama: The blue does seem to match the color of Klonopin tablets
Hey, I guess its official David Carridine didn’t die of “Low T” ?
http://www.isitlowt.com/index.html#lowt_quiz.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/05/carradine-had-rope-around_n_211689.html
Bruno: Really? My (generic) klonopin tablets are yellow. Hmm…