Wonkette
Here is our new favorite musical duo, “Garfunkel and Oates,” with their chilling song about the slippery slope (and beak) of Legal Gay Marriage, when we all just start cold fuckin’ the ducks. [Garfunkel & Oates]
FRIDAY FUN VIDEO
When All Americans Can Gay Marry, We All Gonna Screw Some Ducks
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Well, now I know what I’m going to be doing this weekend…
When society is finally free, we will all be duck-fuckers. THE OPPRESSION CANNOT STAND.
I don’t know what these two chicks are selling, but I’m buying!
Lascauxcaveman: Masturbating to this video? (In a duck suit?)
@Lascauxcaveman: Indeed, procrastination is a terrible thing.
More tits, less ducks. Who wears a bikini in the tub? A few strategically placed ducks would’ve done the trick. And I miss Paul Simon.
Youtubo delenda est! Also.
I get it.
Gay marriage is going to cause quacks in the foundation of our society.
Ken Layne: “In a duck suit?” Hey! I hadn’t even thought of that part.
Thanks!
I wish I was a duck in their pond…
Fuck the ducks! Go Penguins!
It’s good to be Mr Bubbles.
ph7:
Speaking of chicks: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7izbgEZ0dM
lesbos in a tub! man, gotta love the YouTubes!!!
I am morally opposed to sex with migratory animals. Well — except wildebeest.
A man and a woman
Are one.
A man and a woman and a duck-fucker
Are one.
If it weren’t natural, the stork wouldn’t bring babies.
Art’s really looking foxy with his new partner. Hope Paul’s doing OK.
Howard the Duck Approves this message.
Somewhere there are two pre-frontal lobotomies with those chicks’ names written on them.
Aww Mom, furries for dinner again?!
The brunette has the wonderful crazy ex-girlfriend look to her. This is going to be a long weekend.
Give those gals a cloacal kiss.
There once was a duck named Santorum,
whose arrears were taxed ad valorem.
To alleviate his plight,
He sucked dick day and night,
And in between, fucked Big John Cornyn.
The duck ain’t got no cultyah -
No talking teevee head has yet declared sex with rabbits to be out of bounds, so I am still available tonight. For God’s sake, please!
Fuck the ducks - I’m gay marrying my Bloodhound.
Duckystyle. oh yeah, stone cold pimpin’.
Quack.
Ducksechs for a couple slices of stale bread? I’m in.
Custerwolf: So you’re going to marry your bloodhound but fornicate with birds?
Any way we can talk the one the left (Garfunkel?) into giving up ducks and Oates for guys? Just saying, nice eyes on that one.
Today we are all duck fuckers
Now I’m going to spend the entire day thinking about bathtub threesomes with perky college girls. And the remainder of the evening reflecting on why such an arrangement has yet to happen thus far.
finallyhappy: We’re actually planning a l’orange a trois.
Rick Santorum is not pleased.
ManchuCandidate: The seduction scene between Lea Thompson and Howard the Duck always gets my cloaca ready for action.
Yeah, but how many ducks would a woodchuck fuck if a woodchuck could fuck ducks?
Custerwolf: win
Like a duck over troubled water, I will lay me down…
SayItWithWookies: I never gnu.
Johnny Zhivago: Eeeuuwww!!!
WIDTAP: Actually Garfunkel is the one on the right.
if they’re into water sports they could call it pee king duck.
Custerwolf: Who cares. I just want to be the duck in the middle.
Lascauxcaveman: I know. It’s sort of hard to think about having dirty thoughts about Ted’s girlfriend in “Scrubs.”
Mallard Failmore?
And this reminds me of an old joke:
One day out on the farm the owner of the farm goes to his 13 year old son and says, “Son, take this last duck to town and sell it so we can buy our cow some food.”
The son agrees to, and as he is walking down the road he passes by a woman. The woman says to the boy, “Son I will fuck you for that duck.”
Not thinking, the boy agrees, and they go off in the woods and fuck. When they got done the woman says to the boy, “WOW that was good, I’ll give that duck back if you do it again.”
So the boy agrees, and they do it again. Well when they get done the boy gets his duck, puts it back on the leash, and starts leading it down the road. When he gets about half way to town a truck comes through and runs over the boy’s duck. The truck driver stops, jumps out, and says to the boy, “Son I’m sorry about your duck. Here’s 20 dollars.”
So the boy takes the money and goes back home. When he gets there he finds his dad, and his dad asks him how he did. The boy says, “Well dad, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck and 20 bucks for a fucked up duck!”
Hooray For Anything: she can really strum a uke
the pixie one scares me.
mollymcguire: Mind if I take a gander?
that dark-haired chick is a hideous troll. i’d rather fuck a duck.
Her name is Kate Micucci, and I kind of love her…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOUEjiE6-Hk
http://www.katemicucci.com/
Is their label by any chance Lame Duck Sessions?
iolanthe: A duck’s favorite snack? Cheese and quackers!
Hm, well, it’s true that a duck *does* weigh the same as a witch.
NEAL HORSLEY HERE THESE LADIEZ HAVE THEIR HAEARTS IN THE RITE PLACE BUT YOU JUST HAVENT HAD GOOD TRANS-SPECIES INTERCOORSE UNTIL YOU DONE DID IT WITH A GODDAM BOVINE/EQUINE COMPANION WHO LOVES YOU AND WILL LET YOU HIT IT HARD LIEK A HORSE-POON-JACKHAMMER
That pixie girl also looks like she probably has a buncha crappy knit abominable-indie-girl monsters in her bedroom.
I think all public discourse should now only involve the gays–gay marriage, gay torture of the Muslims, gay teevee people, gay Republicans, etc. Nothing else is as important.
Johnny Zhivago: A duck’s favorite snack? Cheese and quackers!
Is ‘quackers’ a new slang term for vaginas?
ManchuCandidate: Poor Howard’s trapped in a world (of gay duck sex) he never made. But not me, baby, I’m too precious.
what’s wrong with f**king a duck?
Custerwolf: Wapiti you.
SayItWithWookies: I’m not of that elk.
The video sucks, the acting sucks, the song sucks, the lyrics suck, but…
DAMN THOSE TWO GIRLS ARE HOT!
Is it just me, or does the brunette look like Rowan Atkinson’s long-lost baby sister? And, if no one else has declared dibs, I’m up for doing Jessica rabbit six ways to Sunday.
Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck…
Screw a kangaroo…
thefrontpage: agreed.
19kevin8: Finger-bang an orangutan…
19kevin8: Orgies at the zoo.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: I might have 30 seconds to spare…
bago: Thanks for reminding me - I have to get Elvis the bunny a new stuffed duck toy. He fucked the last one to death.
queeraselvis v 2.0: FTW, for the month.
Also: I am appalled that no one has uttered the ineffable (or is it “effable?) Wonkette comment about attractive women, no matter what they are saying or doing:
“I’d hit that.”
There. I hope you all feel better. Now, explain to me: are they for or against gay marriage? And does it matter?
I’d hit that.
With my Remington 1100, that is.
But she’d have to be wearing the duck suit.
Oh, and be flying. None that Sitting Duck stuff for the old Neilist.
After that, a 350 degree oven for about about 90 minutes, and a bed of wild rice.
BlueStateLibtard: Screw you with a duck! Equal time for the hetero drooling, pal.
Does anyone else find it funny that they call themselves Garfunkel and Oates, yet never bother actually harmonizing?
Anyone?
Bonk a donkey. Shag a stag (no, wait, that’s gay)
I would like to see more of these girls. In every sense of the word.
Kate Micuccicuccicoo
gurukalehuru: How do the conservatives say her last name?
Duck fucking really is overrated… But that little brunette, man!!! She’s got that spooky-chick-that-will-really-mess-up-your-life thing really going on, so right up my dysfuntional alley, who CARES if they can’t harmonize!
Girls in the bath together? Isn’t that illegal in most states? We need a witch hunt.
SuperMudVST: They harmonize on Pregnant Women Are Smug, if that helps.