NO NO NO IT SAYS 'COKE' RING  12:20 pm May 28, 2009

by Sara K. Smith

Now there's a fun new way to support your candidate!WELL THAT IS CERTAINLY ONE WAY TO RAISE MONEY FOR A CAMPAIGN: History proves that there is no faster way to accumulate quick cash than by setting up a cocaine ring. (Thanks to “Dip from Philly” for the tip.) [Politics PA]


Hola wonkerados.

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Mike Steele May 28, 2009 at 12:28 pm

That was a typo. It meant to say 10.4 million dollar cock ring.

Cape Clod May 28, 2009 at 12:29 pm

He’s just planning on campaigning 24/7. This was the best way to do that.

hobospacejunkie May 28, 2009 at 12:30 pm

Sleestaks do coke? Hmm…learn something new every day. Also, long-term abuse would exlain their labored breathing.

Mr Blifil May 28, 2009 at 12:33 pm

This motherfucker Sestak is some playa.

Mahousu May 28, 2009 at 12:39 pm

I appreciate that Sestak is a fast mover, but what is he going to do if he gets into the Senate? It’ll be like that Star Trek episode with the Scalosians, who move so quickly that humans can’t even see them. He’ll have to trip up the other Senators, or scribble on their notepads, for them to notice him.

Brendan M. May 28, 2009 at 12:39 pm

I am definitely going to Rep. Sestak’s victory party.

germansteel May 28, 2009 at 12:40 pm

Who are the Bitters, Poors, Gun Freaks, and Bible boors of Pennsylvania going to line up with?

(Santorum, if he gives ‘em a chance.)

proudgrampa May 28, 2009 at 12:40 pm

Maybe this was some monkeys with typewriters?

magic titty May 28, 2009 at 12:44 pm

[re=326293]Mike Steele[/re]: Maybe we can all send him our cock rings, as a campaign contribution?

Turd Way May 28, 2009 at 12:47 pm

A coke ring, but this time instead of mob bosses it’s union bosses running the show to punish Specter for his betrayal of labor shortly before he betrayed America, and quit the Republicans. Not that there’s any difference between the two kinds of bosses, because organized labor is organized crime, as Specter’s old future Republican primary challenger would like to remind you.

charlesdegoal May 28, 2009 at 12:53 pm

I tried this once. Ended up snorting all my profits.

ManchuCandidate May 28, 2009 at 12:56 pm

That’s why Coke Is IT!

Come here a minute May 28, 2009 at 12:56 pm

Sestak placed his can of Coke on a van Gogh painting, leaving a mark that required the Philadelphia Museum of Art to quickly set up shop for the restoration project.

Brendan M. May 28, 2009 at 12:57 pm

[re=326304]Mahousu[/re]: Yeah, but tripping Jim DeMint down stairs and drawing cocks on Joe Lieberman’s would be totally fucking worth it, no?

Brendan M. May 28, 2009 at 12:58 pm

[re=326336]Brendan M.[/re]: Face! On Joe Liberman’s face! Goddamn it.

4tehlulz May 28, 2009 at 1:10 pm

[re=326336]Brendan M.[/re]: That’s fine, unless he starts drawing Joe Lieberman’s face on cocks, then he’ll need to be stopped.

SayItWithWookies May 28, 2009 at 1:20 pm

If only Roland Burris had thought of this, he wouldn’t be in all that trouble.

BadKitty May 28, 2009 at 1:42 pm

Dear Representative Sestak,
I would like to “contribute” to your “campaign”. Meet me in the alley behind your office in one hour. Thanks.

Bruno May 28, 2009 at 4:07 pm

Does this have anything to do with the cocaine they found in Red Bull in Germany?

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