no no no it says 'coke' ring

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Now there's a fun new way to support your candidate!WELL THAT IS CERTAINLY ONE WAY TO RAISE MONEY FOR A CAMPAIGN: History proves that there is no faster way to accumulate quick cash than by setting up a cocaine ring. (Thanks to “Dip from Philly” for the tip.) [Politics PA]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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  • Mike Steele

    That was a typo. It meant to say 10.4 million dollar cock ring.

  • Cape Clod

    He’s just planning on campaigning 24/7. This was the best way to do that.

  • hobospacejunkie

    Sleestaks do coke? Hmm…learn something new every day. Also, long-term abuse would exlain their labored breathing.

  • Mr Blifil

    This motherfucker Sestak is some playa.

  • Mahousu

    I appreciate that Sestak is a fast mover, but what is he going to do if he gets into the Senate? It’ll be like that Star Trek episode with the Scalosians, who move so quickly that humans can’t even see them. He’ll have to trip up the other Senators, or scribble on their notepads, for them to notice him.

  • Brendan M.

    I am definitely going to Rep. Sestak’s victory party.

  • germansteel

    Who are the Bitters, Poors, Gun Freaks, and Bible boors of Pennsylvania going to line up with?

    (Santorum, if he gives ’em a chance.)

  • proudgrampa

    Maybe this was some monkeys with typewriters?

  • magic titty

    [re=326293]Mike Steele[/re]: Maybe we can all send him our cock rings, as a campaign contribution?

  • Turd Way

    A coke ring, but this time instead of mob bosses it’s union bosses running the show to punish Specter for his betrayal of labor shortly before he betrayed America, and quit the Republicans. Not that there’s any difference between the two kinds of bosses, because organized labor is organized crime, as Specter’s old future Republican primary challenger would like to remind you.

  • charlesdegoal

    I tried this once. Ended up snorting all my profits.

  • ManchuCandidate

    That’s why Coke Is IT!

  • Come here a minute

    Sestak placed his can of Coke on a van Gogh painting, leaving a mark that required the Philadelphia Museum of Art to quickly set up shop for the restoration project.

  • Brendan M.

    [re=326304]Mahousu[/re]: Yeah, but tripping Jim DeMint down stairs and drawing cocks on Joe Lieberman’s would be totally fucking worth it, no?

  • Brendan M.

    [re=326336]Brendan M.[/re]: Face! On Joe Liberman’s face! Goddamn it.

  • 4tehlulz

    [re=326336]Brendan M.[/re]: That’s fine, unless he starts drawing Joe Lieberman’s face on cocks, then he’ll need to be stopped.

  • SayItWithWookies

    If only Roland Burris had thought of this, he wouldn’t be in all that trouble.

  • BadKitty

    Dear Representative Sestak,
    I would like to “contribute” to your “campaign”. Meet me in the alley behind your office in one hour. Thanks.

  • Bruno

    Does this have anything to do with the cocaine they found in Red Bull in Germany?