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NO NO NO IT SAYS 'COKE' RING

Now there's a fun new way to support your candidate!WELL THAT IS CERTAINLY ONE WAY TO RAISE MONEY FOR A CAMPAIGN: History proves that there is no faster way to accumulate quick cash than by setting up a cocaine ring. (Thanks to “Dip from Philly” for the tip.) [Politics PA]


12:20 PM on Thu May 28 2009
By Sara K. Smith
468 Views

  1. Mike Steele says at 12:28 pm, May 28th, 2009

    That was a typo. It meant to say 10.4 million dollar cock ring.

  2. Cape Clod says at 12:29 pm, May 28th, 2009

    He’s just planning on campaigning 24/7. This was the best way to do that.

  3. hobospacejunkie says at 12:30 pm, May 28th, 2009

    Sleestaks do coke? Hmm…learn something new every day. Also, long-term abuse would exlain their labored breathing.

  4. Mr Blifil says at 12:33 pm, May 28th, 2009

    This motherfucker Sestak is some playa.

  5. Mahousu says at 12:39 pm, May 28th, 2009

    I appreciate that Sestak is a fast mover, but what is he going to do if he gets into the Senate? It’ll be like that Star Trek episode with the Scalosians, who move so quickly that humans can’t even see them. He’ll have to trip up the other Senators, or scribble on their notepads, for them to notice him.

  6. Brendan M. says at 12:39 pm, May 28th, 2009

    I am definitely going to Rep. Sestak’s victory party.

  7. germansteel says at 12:40 pm, May 28th, 2009

    Who are the Bitters, Poors, Gun Freaks, and Bible boors of Pennsylvania going to line up with?

    (Santorum, if he gives ‘em a chance.)

  8. proudgrampa says at 12:40 pm, May 28th, 2009

    Maybe this was some monkeys with typewriters?

  9. magic titty says at 12:44 pm, May 28th, 2009

    Mike Steele: Maybe we can all send him our cock rings, as a campaign contribution?

  10. Turd Way says at 12:47 pm, May 28th, 2009

    A coke ring, but this time instead of mob bosses it’s union bosses running the show to punish Specter for his betrayal of labor shortly before he betrayed America, and quit the Republicans. Not that there’s any difference between the two kinds of bosses, because organized labor is organized crime, as Specter’s old future Republican primary challenger would like to remind you.

  11. charlesdegoal says at 12:53 pm, May 28th, 2009

    I tried this once. Ended up snorting all my profits.

  12. ManchuCandidate says at 12:56 pm, May 28th, 2009

    That’s why Coke Is IT!

  13. Come here a minute says at 12:56 pm, May 28th, 2009

    Sestak placed his can of Coke on a van Gogh painting, leaving a mark that required the Philadelphia Museum of Art to quickly set up shop for the restoration project.

  14. Brendan M. says at 12:57 pm, May 28th, 2009

    Mahousu: Yeah, but tripping Jim DeMint down stairs and drawing cocks on Joe Lieberman’s would be totally fucking worth it, no?

  15. Brendan M. says at 12:58 pm, May 28th, 2009

    Brendan M.: Face! On Joe Liberman’s face! Goddamn it.

  16. 4tehlulz says at 1:10 pm, May 28th, 2009

    Brendan M.: That’s fine, unless he starts drawing Joe Lieberman’s face on cocks, then he’ll need to be stopped.

  17. SayItWithWookies says at 1:20 pm, May 28th, 2009

    If only Roland Burris had thought of this, he wouldn’t be in all that trouble.

  18. BadKitty says at 1:42 pm, May 28th, 2009

    Dear Representative Sestak,
    I would like to “contribute” to your “campaign”. Meet me in the alley behind your office in one hour. Thanks.
    -BadKitty

  19. Bruno says at 4:07 pm, May 28th, 2009

    Does this have anything to do with the cocaine they found in Red Bull in Germany?

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124346904511260559.html

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