Wonkette
IS GAY MARRIAGE A THREAT TO OUR CULTURE? “If you haven’t noticed, gays make most of our culture. They write our teevee shows and Broadway musicals and even books, for those who can still read. They are the world’s entertainers, designers and bloggers. And nothing threatens the creative spirit — which God gave primarily to homosexuals — than the awful tedium of marriage.” [Politics Daily]
Heck, Ken. Your marryed and still rite gud.
Here’s what I don’t get–the people who are against gay marriage are really against gay sex. That’s a given. They all would’ve voted to outlaw gay sex if that had been on the ballot.
So why are they against gay marriage? They all must surely know that the best way to make two people stop fucking permanently is go get them married.
Oh Kenny, you isso meta!
and here i heard it was the jews who secretly ran everything. turns out it’s the gays.
What a nightmare world without promiscuous gays you paint, Ken. We have such a rich culture in the USA. Maybe we would have an even richer one if every artist wasn’t considered gay, by assumption. Of course, in an atavistic society of used car salesman, all culture is gay.
I’ve been “married” to another man for going on five years, and if you think that that does terrible things to the creativity, you can only IMAGINE what it does to the sex.
Did you leave out the “more” in that last sentence intentionally so that we would think you aren’t gay?
Good comments below the article, to wit:
“i think that, under the circumstances - ‘people think something’ - that all married people should have to be tested for homosexual tendencies, with all confirmed unions involving one or more ‘married gays’ being nullified. if not because of the semantics of the thing, then because of the misunderstandings which must have come about when one partner mistook the other for ‘having the same sex as mee!’
‘marriage’ is to say ‘union’ — ‘let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediment…’ isn’t gay political comment. ”
I couldn’t agree more. Or less.
Rary Guppert: All teh Jews are gay, obviously.
Duh.
Please. More about these “books” of which you speak….
Speaking of gay, what the hell happened to Awl vs. Wonkette? Am I the only on the enjoyed that “weekly feature?”
“For an extra fee, the happy partners would be allowed to travel back to 1977, for both a glimpse of famous New York nightlife…”
A time before web porn made the “buddy-booth”, trolling for cock in the trucks along the lower Hudson, and Bette Midler, obsolete. Not that I would know.
Tommmcatt: I’ve been “married” to another man for going on five years, and if you think that that does terrible things to the creativity, you can only IMAGINE what it does to the sex.
Hetero married guy here, feeling your pain. I can’t remember the last time I got a good beejay. Even ‘normal’ sex is rare oasis in my long, dry trudge through the desert of life.
Commenter “Wayne” is teh seriouz.
V572625694: Oh, even better was the contribution of Mister “Being Gay Myself”:
I wanted to find a partner and live the American Homo Dream
Don’t we all, my friend. Don’t we all.
“They are the world’s entertainers, designers and bloggers.”
Ken is this your way of coming out to us? If so, I already knew. teehee
Poor Wayne. He needs to change his name to Ernest. His comment supports my theory that Prop 8 passed because voters didn’t understand what the words meant.
So, you’re saying if I get my ass tapped, somewhere up there they’ll find that screenplay that I know I have in me?
V572625694: Oh no, do gays want to collectively bargain now, with their civil unions? That would be the conservative’s worst nightmare.
Lascauxcaveman: when it comes to culture and entertainment there is nothing secret about it. It’s our show, but we certainly like to hire gays because they are far more interesting than their straight gentile counterparts. And they notice when we dress well.
summary:
Gays and Jews = Funny, dress well.
Everyone else = Dane Cook and Ray Romano.
Lascauxcaveman: I recommend sending your wife out for a night on the town with the girls, then. Especially if her girlfriends have crappy marriages. Whenever I do that, I come back liquored up and raring to give my hubby some sweet hot lovin’, in appreciation for his awesomeness. Then I pass out, leaving him to resume his video game playing. Win win!
mullingitover: I think you mean they would outlaw only the man-on-man buttsecks. Most hetro dudes appear to have a thing for the girl-on-girl action, if sales of Jenna Jameson tapes are any indication.
Turd Way:
I keep begging them to bring it back, but to no avail! I even have my sweat sock and “Gun Oil” ready and waiting for the occasion.
The Cold Sea: Yeah, it’s kinda sad that commenter “Wayne” imagines he’ll get anything but ridicule.
Turd Way: Not sure at all what commenter “Zeitbauer” (timebuilder?) was getting at. Maybe he was meta beyond meta. Liked the stream of semi-consciousness, though. Organizing gays into a Teamsters-style union is a pretty interesting idea, though: they’ll picket all performances of “Cats” and “A Chorus Line” to make sure straight scabs aren’t stealing their jobs.
I’m not worried about our culture. I’ve known plenty of people who, if set down in an empty room, will manage to create their own drama. And think about what else gay marriage leads to: gay extramarital affairs, gay divorce, gay custody hearings, gay alimony, gay restraining orders — no, I think we’ll be alright.
Lascauxcaveman: Maybe gays need to reevaluate their marriage preference, but then again maybe your wife needs to reevaluate a certain personal preference and move to Vermont.
Lascauxcaveman:
They never tell you about the lack of “alone time” either. One can’t even take care of it oneself.
Love is both a blessing and a curse.
Turd Way: I always suspected “check cards” and “employee free choice” were somehow filthy code for something abominable in the eyes of god.
Tommmcatt: Dude, don’t you have a shower?
sweetcandy: our own BlogBear! Grr.
gay sex with my man is incredible. i’m not going to ruin it by getting married.
You mean, no sex after marriage is NORMAL??
WTF??
CorkPopper:
I’m a “kicker”.
Well sure, but really, why couldn’t Rufus Wainwright have settled for a dismal slow death? By marriage or any other means necessary.
Lascauxcaveman: I’ve been opposite-married for 13 years (17, if you want to tack on a trial run before I realized that crazy in the head doesn’t mean crazy in the bed) and cannot feel your pain. Maybe it helps that I married a mormon, then perverted, er, converted her with a steady influx of fetish porn and alcohol to non-mormonism. I think a bit of kink (anything short of ritualistic cannibalism, at least) can help with the trudge out of the long dry desert of your life.
Lascauxcaveman: best way to get a good “windy from the wife”–> do a bunch of random cleaning (windows, mirrors, vacuum, dishes,) then take a full bath, and for a finale, soak your took in squeezable butter. It’s definitely in the 95th percentile of “you’re going to get a pole smoke” that night.
Just contributed to the lively discussion of this most excellent column on teh gayz.
thejesusandmarycheney: I knew that beard and mustache wasn’t just for disguise hiding out from the mob.
You know, from an anthropological perspective, there’s so much wrong with the way the word “culture” is used here that I feel like some comment is nece-
*head explodes*
Lascauxcaveman: I only do bjs on the first date.
Custerwolf:
That used to be my line.
RabidHamster: Do you have any brothers by chance?
Holding Out for a Hero: No brothers. I just realized it probably helps that I’m a decent cook (I’ve yet to burn water), will empty the occasional dishwasher or take out the trash, and am very good at mimicking human emotions and pretending to listen.
The nuts and bolts of straight marriage - a very legal event - has been confused with romantic and religious events so much that “same sex marriage” gets mixed up with cultural bullshit.
Gay people demanding equality need to understand that they are like Schrodinger’s Cat. Yes, gay marriage really does redefine marriage. Let’s be honest. What it doesn’t do is weaken “family values”, whatever that means.
I am a proud gay man, seeking equality. But that means not just that mainstream society has to let me into its club; it means that the rules and suppositions of that club must fundamentally change. I don’t attack ‘family values’. I attack traditional, ugly family values that exclude gay people like me.
Also . . . can I say this one time? I am sick of HURTING. I know I am supposed to be above the HURT, because I am supposed to be fabulous, being gay. But I really am sick of fighting, and always having to fight, and always having to be the second-class boy arguing for first-class respect.
It is cool here on Wonkette, where I and my queer brothers and sisters get a break. But sometimes, elsewhere, I get broken down.
I try to be good to people. I keep making allowances for other people. I empathise.
And I am really sick of being treated as dirt by my society.
There is a shame in admitting being dumped on, admitting that I am not equal. There are days when it fucking hurts.
I will not speak of this again, because I have to shore up my dignity.
wheelie: Thank you for posting that real talk. And that’s why as a straight person, I am mad as hell for you. So you keep your dignity, whilst I start behaving like an unruly, shrill angry black Biaytch until people and politicians alike stop hiding behind Christ and religion to fuck up people’s lives that have nothing to do with them.
Custerwolf: Well, then. We’d be “one and done.” Not a bad idea?
BigDupa: Believe it or not, I already do all the cooking and well over half the cleaning in my house. The wife just got too used to it when I was unemployed, and therefore in the position to be Suzy Homemaker, her personal errand boy and the kids chauffeur alla time.
wheelie: Whinging fag.
(Haha, just kidding. I thought everyone in Ireland was already gay married.)
I got married back in 1997 and almost immediately life became so boring my feet fell off.
It’s only in 2006 I discovered the cause - marriage. One quick divorce later, and I’m learning to walk again using robot legs and taking out the garbage whenever the fuck I want, even if there’s like rats or horses playing in it, or hobos encamped within it.
And Linda - fuck your dishes.
The Gayez get married, and torture is no longer cool.
Just saying, whole country is going gay.
wheelie: Well, our society is pretty dumb. This is America, after all! But, ON THE OTHER HAND, what appears to be incremental change over the miserable daily grind of life can be pretty shocking/big when seen even on the scale of even a 40-year-old’s life. In just that time: the Civil Rights act, Stonewall, Chavez, EPA, Clean Air/Water Acts, MOON LANDING, Internet (good? bad?), hybrids, face transplants, robots, etc. And now you’ve got the Republican gov. of the nation’s most populous state saying, “Yah, gay marriage is certain to become da standahd,” even as it already IS, in all legal state rights.
So, occassionally, I’m an optimist about these things. We are used to thinking of various great artists/composers/etc. as gay people, but they could’ve never been KNOWN as gay people in their time. They would’ve been lynched. For all the dumb MySpace tattoo Taco Bell txt-message youth idiocy, these people are for the most part just naturally tolerant of every kind of sexuality. Sure, they might all be dead of obesity/diabetes before they turn 30, and then we will be stuck with healthy young Mormons, but maybe Nobama’s Socialist Health Care can save them, and save us, from something.
The End.
Dear Ken,
God is concerned that all their wonderful gifts would turn sour if they’re allowed to marry.
problemwithcaring: Thank you. I really appreciate that.
Ken Layne: It is true that the youngs of this world are not so cruel and malicious when it comes to gay rights; they mostly don’t see what the fuss is. So a point in favor of optimism there.
But they can be complacent too - even the gay youths - because they think that this thing will be put right eventually. But nothing advances without the toil of endless campaigning, and there can be times, like yesterday, when I just get so f*cking fed up. Last night when I was posting here, I should have been at yet another local campaign meeting, but I just ran out of energy and was frustrated as much with my own tiredness as with the painfully slow inching forward of progress.
But you are right. I will see equality and justice in my own lifetime. Onwards and upwards . . . Thanks for your reply, and for beating the drum for people like me, because we cannot do this by ourselves.
End of Serious.