Wonkette
- TUCKER CARLSON TO SAVE THE INTERNET: Check it out, a fancy new clicky-clicky! “Pundit Tucker Carlson publicly announced Tuesday that a right-leaning news site resembling the Huffington Post he’s been planning will go live within weeks … ‘Tell the truth, and be accurate,’ Carlson said of the venture’s goals. ‘It’s very important to live up to the basic standards of journalism.’” Doesn’t making something explicitly “right-leaning” or “left-leaning” in and of itself make it impossible to be an important journalistic news site? Anyway Tucker’s thing will be called hcsfjm.com. [The Hill]
For a second I thought it said “Pandit Tucker Carlson” and that he was going to take his jazz-bow over to the Subcontinent and inflict his prissy solecisms on unsuspecting Indians.
A right-wing HuffPost — brilliant! Why didn’t somebody think of that already….Wait, what?
The Tuckington Post: Your Source for Lukewarm-Conservative Douchebaggery.
“There just aren’t enough people covering this administration and telling the people what’s going on.”
Translation: “There are still some facts that can be heard over the right-wing temper tantrum. I intend to fill that gap with my foppish preppy inanity.”
Like everything else in Tucker’s life, it will likely fail before it even starts.
It’s nice to see Tucker failing in media other than TV.
This will go about as well as that right wing version of the Daily Show that FOX ran for about 2 weeks last year.
joezoo: Tuckington Post. Brilliant.
Neocons Tuck & Beck do the AIPAC dance;
Music by 911 & The Federal Reserve!
Tuck & Run
HickJism.com?
Let’s hope this costs Mummy a ton of Swanson frozen turkeys.
Tucker wouldn’t know the truth if it bit him on his freshly sodomized ass.
I vote that his first guest be Jon Stewart.
Featuring bloggers who think buttsecks is fine just so long as your the “top.”
hot cum shots for john mccain .com
They can’t read, you bowtied retard. That’s why they get all their news-porn and pseudo-political screaming from talk radio and Fox (and Lou Dobbs). They only use the intertubes and print media for porn (Malkin), pedophile support sites (Free Republic), humor written by fat children at a 4th grade reading level (The Corner), and crypto-communist sites that take advantage of their illiteracy to drive traffic (RedState, natch). If they wanted intelligent written commentary… hmmm… no, I can’t think of any logical conclusion to that sentence.
Since Tucker straddles the great divide between populist right-wing douchebaggery and what’s left of the intellectual conservatism, that should mean his web-site gets around 40 hits a day.
+1 on the Tuckington Post…..
I miss Ed Hale. Sniff, sniff.
Will it be written IN ALL CAPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Has Rush Limbaugh approved of this?
So his mother died? Or did he actually manage to talk her out of some of her frozen food inheritance to bankroll this little brainstorm?
SUBSCRIBE TO THE TUCKERTON POST! I DEMAND IT!
hje2nv02wdoz.com?? I guess assparade.com was already taken. Still, nice fail, Tuck.
Doesn’t making something explicitly “right-leaning” or “left-leaning” in and of itself make it impossible to be an important journalistic news site?
NO. That’s just something silly you’re taught in American journalism school. It’s partly why American journalism usually sucks. Not being explicit about which way you are leaning often just means taking too seriously whoever is in power.
Advocatus_Diaboli: I’m hoping he will have a Daily Show watchdog column similar to HuffPost’s Palin watch. And, of course, that it will provide the thread for it’s inevitable undoing.
FoxNation & InfoWars will be tough competition.
He was elected most likely to be caught having sex with domesticated animals by his college classmates. He’s such a disappointment in so many ways.
slavojzizek: Nice argument you made there, that objective journalism is pretty much vacuous horseshit, but I can’t accept it without an “on the other hand…” rebuttal graf from, uh…Richard Cohen!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every time some pompous ass right wing retard starts a blog, they have to announce to anyone stupid enough to listen that it will be the next Kos or Huffington or lefty blog du jour. Kind of like Pajamas et al tried to do. Where are they all today?
Helloooooo. Is anyone there?
*Crickets*
Tucker’s web-site is going to be called hisgism.com?
If he needs a URL, I heard Lemonparty.org was still available…
So if this is going to be like HuffPo, will it basically be a website containing a couple of squishy semi-conservative articles larded with links to AP, AFP, and UPI stories that make it seem like TuckPo is doing its own reporting?
“tell the truth & be accurate,” two things tucker carlson has never done in his entire life. no doubt this will be yet another successful wingnut venture.
The words “pundit” and “Tucker Carlson” really do not belong in the same sentence.
Unlike, say, the phrases “anal rape victim” and “Tucker Carlson.”
Or “simpering fratboy dweeb” and “Tucker Carlson.”
Or “fire five shots into his head, it’s still only misdemeanor assault” and “Tucker Carlson.”
“”We are a general-interest newspaper-format style site”, Carlson told conservative bloggers at the Heritage Foundation on Tuesday.”
Sir Fapsalot said to the knights of the round jerk.
He will take it down after Jon Stewart ridicules it, just like those fucking bowties.
“Tell the truth, and be accurate”
I take it that Tucker needs someone else is going to run it?
I believe fembottomwithbowtie.org may still be available. Ilovespoogeinmyfratboymouth.org is probably not taken either. Also
If it’s a right-wing Huffington Post, will it feature an ugly, hard-to-navigate interface, and consist of a combination of copied wire service stories and analysis pieces that give basically the same information as on other conservative blogs, only with poorer writing from C-list Hollywood celebrities? Hm, but Big Hollywood already provides all that.
FormerDCite: or idiotasswipe.org; iheartjoescarborough.com; ihatemyself.org
Ha, Tucker can’t get his work read even by the intellectual heavyweights at RedState or FoxNation or Pajamas, so he’s got to start his own site?
Please don’t let comments be moderated, please don’t let comments be moderated…
hcsfjm.com-
hannity&carlsonssuperfinejournalismmanchowder.com
“He said the site would seek to ‘drive’ the news, similar to the Drudge Report, the Huffington Post, the New York Times, and other major news outlets. ”
One of these things is not like the other …
I read the address as “hogjism.com” and thought it was a very appropriate and honest name,only to be disappointed one second glance.
mensroomcruiser.org may be taken. What’s Larry Craig up to? … Three dudes a day.
The Daily Caller? As in, “It’s calling from inside the house”?
Also, perverts, my MacScan always shows The Hill has tracking cookies, so run your programs to erase them if you can.
Tucker? I hardly knew ‘er!!!
(sorry…)
Will he be wearing his bow tie and assless chaps when he edits the spun news?
prophet1195: .. and his fleshtone glossy lipstick.
Tucker Carlson: the P.J. O’Rourke for AOLers.
Hard Core San Franciscan Jizz Models? Talk about domain sniping. Is shorts warblogging for tucker?
Advocatus_Diaboli: Tucker has 228 fans on Facebook and 47 who say he is evil.
Don’t be fooled people! This will just be a front for his online haberdashery, “Tucker? I Hardly Knew Her.”
Tucknutz.com
Why that little Tucker!
Hufftucker Bloast. Say it five times fast before you vote.
Oh, goody. Yet another place for wingnuts to express their Caps Locked fanaticism. MUSLIM! SOCIALIST! HIDE YER GUNZ!
Wingnuts on the internet are like Wile E. Coyote with his latest Acme gadget. They never learn, no matter how painful the results.
TuckerSakBak.com
Ha ha. I read it as: … Carlson said of the vermin’s goals.
Country Club Jihadi: At least 150 of those fans can’t comment until after mom goes to bed.
“For the righteous skinny, go to hogjism.com,” - catchy!
Advocatus_Diaboli:
Teh FUNNY! You brung it.
Tell the truth, and be accurate.
Tell the truth, and don’t lie.
Tell the truth, and be truthful.
Tell the truth, and get all the facts right.
Tell the truth, and don’t mislead.
Tell the truth, and be a jizz mopper.
hobospacejunkie: Tell the the truth or we waterboard your exposed-by-chaps-ass.
Tucker’s first article is going to be about how the cheerleaders in Texas, who were responsible for making a feces pizza, were framed because they were Republicans! Other hard hitting investigative reporting will follow:
http://www.redorbit.com/news/oddities/156576/cheerleaders_disciplined_for_feces_pizza/
I think EVERY SINGLE one of us should go and register on that site and respond to every article with one word “LIAR”
I hope it has a humor section like HuffPo (that isn’t funny at all, except for the dickpedia part). I’m not sure I’ve encountered any side splittingly funny right-leaning humor before. They usually think its funny to joke about people not like them.
With Craig’s List banning the sexytime annoucements, this is Tucker’s chance to seize the day.
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For Cougars, dating a younger man can be exciting and feel younger. And also you may find yourself more compatible with young men.
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Join us and contact tens of thousands of cougars and cougar admirers!
GaySailor: I’m sure it will be true to form and ban every form of mildly dissenting opinion.
By the way, Joe the Plumber’s blog has gone into free fall, mostly with posts about “where did everybody go?”. Joe himself hasn’t updated since the tea bagging, somehow ignoring the whole “keep the queers away from my children” and “I’m quitting the GOP” quotes*
*its still not clear if he has children and had ever bothered to register to vote/be in a party. Kind of like being a plumber, making a bazillion dollars per year, etc etc
GaySailor: LIAR
Still another dude who has to launch a website in order to finally figure out he’s gay.
“Ha, Tucker can’t get his work read even by the intellectual heavyweights at RedState or FoxNation or Pajamas, so he’s got to start his own site?”
There are intellectual heavyweights at FOX and PM?
That gave me a laugh.
I have nada to say on Tucker.
myshoeshurt.com
GaySailor: I am soooo not reading any article entitled “Cheerleaders Detained for Feces Pizza.” Although the first person to make a movie with that title is probably going to strike it rich.
El Pinche: uhh, that site really does exist, but it has nothing to do with sponge and dice sandwiches.
Gosh-a-rooty. Will the Tuckboy be able to explain how his bow tie does not interfere with his duty as a fluffer for the Rush? America waits. Mmmm…, not really.
Mr Blifil: What’s the hardest part about starting a right-wing news site?
Telling your parents you’re gay.
Neilist: Aren’t pundits high caste Hindus who memorize the Vedas, the Sanskrit grammar of Patanjali, etc.? Does TC have any academic credentials?
Zhu Bajie
El Pinche: My shoes hurt, too, El Pinche. My shoes hurt, too.
Bob Lamonta didn’t know how good he had it, with the prepared lunch and all.
Will Tucker Carlson eat a seal’s nuts on TV to get some publicity for his site?
Zhu Bajie
Bruno: What? Rightwingwhores.com? I expect real harlots do appreciate hard currency!
Zhu Bajie
zhubajie: Wrong group, although many of them do have things in common with the Pandits — they’re often well-born, faith-based and skilled at rote memorization.
hobospacejunkie: :Yeah, Bob was a good kid. RIP
tuckers_bag_of_dicks.tysonfoods.com ?
I figured it would be on mommy and daddy’s domain.
Let me guess, he will increase awareness of the site by going on cable news network chat shows whose core audience skews over 70 years old.
For old times sake:
http://image.blingee.com/images16/content/output/000/000/000/575/453767696_1553535.gif
So, the internets need bailed out, too? Well, who’s gonna bail out my internet?
El Pinche: Ah, the ever popular Tucker Carlson blotter paper.
Seriously, we should be stoked about this. New articles by that man may well prove the comedy gift that keeps on giving (like Richard Cohen, only crankier and more bowtie-y)
I can feel the enthusiasm already.
“Click My Bowtie For HOT Wingnut-on-Wingnut ACTION!”
Sweet bleeding Jesus - you’d think after so many failures he’d get a clue & just help run Mommy’s business for way better pay & likely a lot less hassle.
I wonder if someone/s put him up to this folly, or if his leviathan-scale ego just needed a new media to bloviate in? The man’s about as appealing as hookworms & as intelligent as a Rubik’s Cube.
I think I’m naming my next band Feces Pizza.
I’m sure this guy Tucker Carlson whom I’ve never seen is a pox on journalism, but I can’t bring myself to mock him because I keep thinking of his poor mom, Mothertucker Carlson, and the terrible burden she’s been forced to bear.
1) Yawn.
2) I hope it fails.
Yeah, but with Tucker so busy running his inert-tube thingie, who will be left to pound out homos in the men’s room?
Hmmm. Maybe “pound out” wasn’t the expression I was looking for…..
Tuckarl Crapperson
Crapper Tuckarlson
The Crapper Tuckarlson Feces & Masturbation Comedy & Variety hour
A Revolutionary Show from a Reactionary Man
Crapper Tuckarlson: Auto-Fellatio is No Longer a Myth
Three years ago, my wife saw Tucker on TV for about 30 second and has lost any libidinous urge since then.
Conundrum: If Tucker’s bloviating, then he can’t be orally active.
pogobock: Since he’s usually bloviating out of his ass, conundrum solved.
GaySailor: So like is it amusing to anyone else that when I went there I saw a video about how frozen food is unsafe? Poor Tucker…