Wonkette
Well, this would certainly explain why Colorado is under constant assault from terrorist organizations seeking to free their own, and why the whole state has descended into a state of anarchy as Terrorist Cooties spread faster than the swine flu. “Thirty-three international terrorists, many with ties to al-Qaeda, reside in a single federal prison in Florence, Colo., with little public notice,” announces the Washington Post. THANKS DUDES YOU JUST TOLD AL QAEDA WHERE TO LOOK. [Washington Post]
Don’t these Homeland Security people watch Arrested Development? The terrorists could use that stair car to escape. We need Dick Cheney back in charge.
Bad boy Eric Cartman lives in Colorado also.
I assume we are torturing them with John Denver ballads and sneaking Rocky Mountain Oysters into their falafel.
Where’s Col. Klink when we need him?
They keep them in a drunken stupor by feeding them Coors all day long; wait, that sounds like a pretty good gig.
So the worst of the terrorists and criminals at the Supermax are kept in solitary confinement? I think it would be a lot worse of a punishment for them to have to share a cell with Charles Manson. Imagine how bats$#t insane he must be at this point.
What do you want to bet that the plot line of the next season of 24 feature a group of terrorists escaping from a supermax?
And they killed Kenny!
Larry Fine: But Cartman fights crime now, like Batman. Only his alter ego, “The Coon,” is far more cunning. And even more so than that stupid glory-hunting “Mysterion.” What a fraud that asshat is.
Will someone please remind the pissy-pants public that these Gitmo terrorist idiots do not have cartoon-like superpowers. X Men not.
It is a measure of our collective insanity that anyone would think these pathetic jokers would be released or could escape into the public. MIght they become targets though? Sure. Welcome to ’sponsibility Merica. Everyone wants to party, but no one wants to clean up. See you at the mall!
Numbat Dundee: Those BASTARDS!
We already knew that Focus on the Family was there; how’s this a big revelation?
But are they accumulating stockpiles of urine and raw chicken?
How come we don’t have “Penitentiary for the Criminally Insane” any more? That’s a cool name
Are they going to put a snook in Hilldog’s sniz?
DoctorCulturae: Remind the pissy-pants senators, too, please. Also.
What the fuck is wrong with this country?
We’re afraid of some random dudes locked down in supermax prison?
I would like more public notice. You know, parading them about nude and guarded by snarling dogs and the like.
But do they toss good salad?
Did anyone check to see if them there a-rabs speak Mexican?
Florence? couldn’t they put it em a place with an appropriate name?
suggestions?
magic titty: They might escape on magic flying carpets.
Somebody tell Tancredo that the terrorists are voting in local elections. I want to see his head asplode.
Texan Bulldoggette: Making them drink Coors is far worse than waterboarding.
But Sen. Max Baucus (D-Mont.) put his foot down. “We’re not going to bring al-Qaeda to Big Sky Country — no way, not on my watch,”
This is the sound made just before a politician then claims it is helping out their constituencies by do the exact opposite of what they have said they would do.
Can we just release them into Texas, thats no longer part of the U.S. right?
Florence, Colorado: Come for the skiing, stay for the jihad.
(Actually, I don’t think Florence is particularly near any decent skiing areas. The jihad prospects probably aren’t that great, either.)
Well, duh! Clearly they’re the member’s of Obama’s DNC posse who wandered into the traps the FBI set outside Denver’s city limits last year! Also!
Texan Bulldoggette:hockeymom: Drinking Coors is actually a form of bladder torture
Broadcast journalism creates its own reality. I know it does. In a certain office which catered to military veterans in a town where there was a local teevee station and resulting news articles about menopause several guys came down with it and applied for benefits. Publicity is deadlier than the Taliban.
well imagine that, we’ve been living with terrorists in our midst for forever and nobody’s been living in fear of them sneaking into their bedrooms at night and stealing all the white women. i guess these ones don’t have the magical powers that those gitmo guys do.
hobospacejunkie: Noted. Cleaning hose to Sen. Reid’s office please. Vitter’s office has the appropriate repair undergarments. Also Romney. Also.
cheeto_jeebus: Well, Rattlesnake Creek is a common name in my area. Might discourage unwanted wandering outside the wire.
remember in smokey and the bandit how they were smuggling coors to texas,
just how batshit bad is the beer in texas??
Batshit is my new favorite word.
canadians for pussy: If you’ve ever had Lone Star, you wouldn’t be asking that question.
Perfect set-up for “Red Dawn 2: Rise of the Indefinitely Detained”
I agree with hpwilliams that this should be a red state problem. These a-holes supported the Neo’s terrist war all the way, didn’t they?
I’m looking at you, Inhofe, SACK UP!!!!
They’re stealin’ our (prison) jerbs!!1! I want my license plates built by good ol’ merkin convicts, dammit!
RabidHamster: I wonder if they will make the armless Jeebus license plates?
Larry Fine: and there is no doubt this will be in South Park within 2 episodes
Bruno: They’ll be stamping out armless Muhammads instead. And then the terrorists will have won. Nobama has doomed us all!
FlamingSooner: All those red states should actually be excited about the possibility of having terrorists in their states as it allows the citizens the possibility of using all those concealed weapons they love to carry around. Even better, hunting humans is so much more fun than hunting poor, defenseless, non-muslin deer.
Waterboarding, snowboarding, same difference.
It’s a damn problem for us out here in Colorado. Everytime there is a knock on the door, you expect to find another terrorist out there with the same tired story, how he escaped from the Supermax down the road and would appreciate some money, food and a map of places to attack. I always encourage them to go to nearby Colorado Springs and visit the Reverend James Dobson for guidance.
cheeto_jeebus: I would suggest Blawnox, but it’s near Pittsburgh so there wouldn’t be any guards available on any winter Sunday.
Bruno: The Muslins will make Jeebus headless. And a special brown Jeebus for Rev. Dobson.
RabidHamster: But an image of the Muhammed on a license plate will spark up the Cartoon Riots again.
Ehh, what the hell, long live the riots!