Wonkette
- BOMB WASHINGTON NOW: “With an impressively straight face, Rep. Steven LaTourette (R-Ohio) walked up to Rahm and said something that began with ‘you mother’ followed by a number of bleeped out expletives, according to eyewitnesses. Emanuel responded by giving LaTourette a friendly punch in the stomach, followed by a handshake.” [Washington Post]
I had to check the calendar to make sure this wasn’t April 1st. LaTourette Syndrome, indeed.
Realllly??? LaTourette you say? like the syndrome…well at least he has a good excuse.
Yeah, I get the Tourette thing, but does he have a death wish, also?
Maybe the WaPo should do like my mother used to when I’d tattle on someone else for cussing. She say to me, “Oh honey, don’t be a snitchy little cunt.”
Better LaTourette’s than Letourneau syndrome where he gets impregnated by a 12 year old Asian boy.
Bonne soirée mere’fucker…watch yer back La Tourette..
Red Zeppelin: I don’t know, but someone should check him for tics.
Video, plz.
Aww, reading the actual article is kinda disappointing, they’re just horsing around like old army buddies, (or ballet-class buddies or whatever).
That pic of Mary Ann Akers is kinda cute, however. She’s sort of like a downmarket SKS on a bad hair day, isn’t she?
Will Emanuel have this guy killed now?
ManchuCandidate: He was actually Messican. She’d never stoop low enough to fuck an Asian.
Lascauxcaveman: Hey do you need a hide-a-bed by any chance? You can call it second-hand rock memorobilia. It used to be Chris Cornell’s Moms, and we just lost the last room of our house that we were keeping it in. Let me know.
Custerwolf: Samoan actually. Coincidentally, her father was a conservative Republican congressman.
ManchuCandidate: Custerwolf: Let’s compromise and say he was Filipino, okay?
Also, I think we can beat LaTourette with a well-financed, 1st-tier Democratic candidate. His incumbency is the only thing keeping him in office, because his district is no longer safe Republican.
Canmon (the Inadequate): I’m sorry, but he was NOT a white fluffy dog.
Brendan M.: Oh. Okay.
Tuna tartar? TUNA TARTAR? OMGWTFARUGULAMARXISTCOMMIEPINKOFAGGOTTYMOTHERFUCKINGMUSLINMORAN! Also.
Jesus, what’s wrong with me? Rahm punching someone in the stomach just makes me want to bang him even more.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Easy cure for Tourettes - eliminate the idea that certain words are taboo.
Lascauxcaveman:
No shit. But with all due respect, the “hip nerdy sexy Janeane Garofalo but-12-years-later politically saavy” look is getting a little tired (if it wasn’t murdered outright by Sarah McSnowbilly).
spryte: This.
LaTourette then introduced Rahm to his wife, Jennifer LaTourette, a lobbyist who used to be Congressman LaTourette’s chief of staff before she became Mrs. LaTourette.
Not only does this guy have a problem keeping the f-bombs from flying out of his mouth, he obviously has a little problem keeping his f*%7ck@#g willie in his pants…Tourette’s of the mouth maybe?
>>LaTourette then introduced Rahm to his wife, Jennifer LaTourette, a lobbyist who used to be Congressman LaTourette’s chief of staff before she became Mrs. LaTourette.
First Mrs. LaTourette fucks the people than the congressman fucks the person fucking the people.
DC circle of life.
“LaTourette then introduced Rahm to his wife, Jennifer LaTourette, a lobbyist who used to be Congressman LaTourette’s chief of staff before she became Mrs. LaTourette.”
Nothing like fucking the help… especially help that finds your ability to talk dirty really fuckin’ HOT.
takes12no1: Tourette’s of the pants I mean.
4tehlulz: my point exactly.
Custerwolf: + easy cure for LaTourettes tendency to run his mouth: punch him in the throAT>
takes12no1: 4tehlulz: Wow, triple quote excerpting. You both owe me a Bourbon Manhattan, rocks, heavy on the bourbon.
Rep. Steven LaTourette touched a dirty socialist . He must repent to master limbaugh and lick his giant 8 inch taint clean.
x111e7thst: I like your style.
5-25-09
WASHINGTON: Police found the deceased remains of U.S. Representative Steven LaTourette (R-Ohio) on the Capitol steps last night. The cause of death is reported to be asphyxiation, caused by a pair of plastic TruckNutz(tm) lodged in the throat. The artificial testicles, used as a popular pickup accessory in low-income regions of the country, were painted bright red. A string of profanity was scrawled across the deceased’s forehead.
Police said they do not suspect foul play, as Rep. LaTourette “probably deserved it,” according to the chief of D.C. police. Other theories advanced by the police coroner indicate that “[LaTourette] may have been into this sort of thing.”
Custerwolf: Chris Cornell’s mom’s ex-hide-a-bed?! SWEET! I’ll drive right over!
(Who is Chris Cornell again?) Actually, since you keep a house full of critters, I’m guessing that’s one raggedy-ass hide-a-bed, so no thanks.
But speaking of critters, do you want to add a mountain beaver to your menagerie? I’ve been catching them and deporting them to way up the end of my road. They are feisty little motherfuckers when they’re inside a Havahart trap.
(Rather boring, poorly shot videos of captured/freed mountainbeaver on my lame blog .)
El Pinche, the visual you just gave me, of rush’s dingleberry encrusted taint is making my skin crawl. There’s no way he can keep that clean, hell he’s so fat there’s no way he can wipe his ass, or clean under his scrotum, or get at the decomposing skin in the creases in his fat…
bobwurst: You’ve been looking at the pannus/furries/midget picture again, haven’t you?
bobwurst: Ew ew ew just shut the fuck up about Rush Limbaugh’s grundle.
Lascauxcaveman: HAHAHAHA!!!! I love it!! Is that your daughter filming? At that age it’s hard to tell a voice’s gender through all the cuteness. Also, I love how you cut her off at the end you bastard. Thanks for sharing. Your fondness for beavers is admirable.
Custerwolf: I too have a great fondness for beavers.
ProfessorJukes: I believe you were the last. I’ll take one of these things Mr. Blifil was describing in an earlier post:
“…a Blood Orange “Mimosa,” made with real blood squeezed from a discarded uterus and fermented urine in place of champagne”…uh…wait nevermind.
Zadig: 4 days! no way Rahmbo would take that long to exact his revenge.
bobwurst: Unwashed grundles can cause failed kidneys. Smell ya later, ElRushbo!
Custerwolf: Yup, my daughter. She’s 9, she’s brilliant and definitely my best playmate, always up for a lark. She’s currently designing a tree house she want to build; ’cause boy, we got trees!
My 13-year-old OTOH is getting kind of boring and mature these days, never wants to play outside, always with her nose in a book, and she talks so fast I can’t understand a word she says. (Insert sad face emoticon).
Lascauxcaveman: I love her. If they still have that show Zaboomafoo she could get a starring role.
Zadig: No surprise there. Interesting fact about “regular” beavers (Castor canadensis) - their size is determined by lifespan. In other words, a beaver keeps growing until it dies. A trait which is shared by certain human females (i.e. K-lo).
Custerwolf: *rimshot*
OkayLascauxcaveman: you’re kind of the Hurricane Katrina of Wild Mountain Beavers, but I forgive you b/c that Bond Girls Never Whine picture is too perfect for words.
Advn2rgirl: Thanks, Advn2rgirl, I’m such an asshole, I didn’t even scroll down to see if there was anything other than the Marlin Perkin’s mountain beaver episode. CUTEST little darlings you have there Lascauxcaveman!
Advn2rgirl: Custerwolf: I gotsta admit, you are both right.
[/pats self on back - again.]
takes12no1: That’s the beauty of it, though. LaTourette will wake up on the morning of the 24th and think he’s gotten away clean.
El Pinche: That my friend was Wonkette Gold.