Wonkette
We of course never read Dana Milbank, but this little bit is actually kind of funny, due to the scarily incompetent driving of one Senator Orrin Hatch, who has not operated a motorcar since the fall of Vichy France.
Sen. Orrin Hatch was test-driving a plug-in hybrid Hummer H3, and the 75-year-old Utah Republican was having some technical difficulties.
“How do you start this baby?” Hatch asked of the executives who built the 100-mile-per-gallon SUV.
“It’s started,” an official told Hatch.
“It’s already on?” Hatch asked, surprised. “Heh, heh.”
“Put your foot on the brake, then put it in drive,” the official said. Nothing happened. “Is your foot on the brake? You have to have your foot on the brake.”
“I think I’ve got it on,” the senator replied.
“Nope,” the executive said, pointing out the brake pedal. “There we go.”
“No wonder,” Hatch said. “I had it on the gas.”
Hatch was the only senator to attend the demonstration of the fancy plug-in hybrid H3, which weighs FIVE THOUSAND POUNDS. It costs millions of dollars and contains its own men’s bathroom, plus a hairdressing lounge and a spot in the corner for birthing babies (no multiples, please). It is made in Utah.
Senator Hatch is a menace and should have his drivers license revoked immediately.
Sen. Hatch’s Wild Ride [Washington Post]
I’d hate to be waiting at an ATM as Orrin searches for each number on the key pad.
“Three, where is three? Is it this one? No. Oh there it is. Five, where is five…”
Oh God… I can see it now: Senator from Utah plows into crowd of school children on a field trip. Dozens sent to hospital. Apparently he hit the gas pedal when he meant to hit the brakes, a fairly common occurrence among people who are too old to be driving, as well as Senators from Utah.
“It’s already on?” Hatch asked, surprised. “HENGGH, HENGGH!”
There. Fixed.
My mom once suffered that same brake pedal/accelerator pedal mix-up. Landed the Vista Cruiser squarely in front of the family room couch.
At first I was going to say that maybe he didn’t know it was on because some of those hybrids are awfully quiet, but jesus christo! he doesn’t know where the damn brake pedal is!
Can’t imagine why the auto companies are failing if they’ve blown untold millions developing a hybrid of the world’s most pointless automobile which no one needs and no one asked for. Jesus pig-fucking christ…
Is the best way to solve the energy crisis and avoid global warming really to electrify America’s crappiest cars?
Also, it is my fervent desire to see Jim Inhofe (R-Assholia) to fellate the exhaust pipe of an H3. Also.
hobospacejunkie: Bunch of wannabe drugz dealerz and pretend pimps in Jamaica (Queens) regard the H3 as MUST. What you talkin about?
queeraselvis v 2.0: Argh. Strike that second “to,” you idiot.
It’s own men’s bathroom? Is Hatch’s stance wide enough to handle it?
Of course Senator Hatch didn’t know how to start the damn thing. The last time he started a car, he had to hand-crank the old flivver, and that was — oh, weeks ago.
Mr Blifil: watchutalkinbout? He’s a Republican senator–you can’t possibly have a wider stance than that!
Maybe Sen Hatch can take some herbs and natural supplements and all that shit he’s helped flog for the last twenty years. Sharpens your brain, and then kills ya!
More ephedra, Sen Dimwit?
Custerwolf:
i have fond memories of our vista cruiser…wish we still had it…
hobospacejunkie: Seriously, I thought we were fucking finished with Hummers for eternity, except where you actually need an armored personnel carrier.
Actually the H3 is a lot smaller than the H2; its the ‘compact’ model that weighs 5000 lbs, has no restrooms but has almost as much interior space as a Honda fit which gets 3x the gas mileage and costs a third as much.
So as far as a Hummer vehicles go, it’s the one that makes the most sense.
“So as far as a Hummer vehicles go, it’s the one that makes the most sense.”
Now, THAT is damning with faint praise! Well played, sir…
Unless it’s pulled by a mule team or one their wives, all vehicles are alien to Mormons.
as the world burns: Me too. She actually survived crashing into the family room, but then my teenaged brother turned her into the “Draggin Wagon” and beat the ever-luvin shit out of her. Poor old girl. My folks used to hide liquor bottles in the secret compartment when we’d drive back and forth to Canada. All six kids could sleep (almost) comfortably in the back. She was a classic.
S.Luggo: QED: http://committedtoromney.com/2007/06/24/mitt-romneys-car-accident-in-france/
One more Mormon Neocon.
nam redux
chickenhawks
charlie foxtrot
anthrax intimidation
extortion blackmail bribery
federal reserve is not federal
neocon 911 crime of the century
israel first dual nationals aipac
gravel kucinich paul nader
mckinney ventura too
perotcharts.com
RATM
S.Luggo: From the website: “Mr. Paulson includes interviews from the survivors who are still alive.”
A real reporter would have interviewed the survivors who died and not just taken the easy way out.
Custerwolf:
the little window in the roof was the best.
my dad used ‘old bolts’ to get grandma to the hospital in a blizzard. only car that would stay on the road that day.
there’s something about old cars though…inefficient as hell compared to today’s, but they sure are cool. they just don’t have style like that anymore.
shhhiiiiiit, are we OT or what here ? you’d think this was http://www.vistacruiser.com/ or somethin’ !
I STILL LOVE YOU, VISTA CRUISER !! IF LOVIN’ YOU IS WRONG, I DON’T WANNA BE RIGHT !!!
ok, back to normal snark mode.
A plug-in hybrid Hummer H3 actually exists? Does the entire power grid on the Eastern Seaboard dim when you plug it in?
as the world burns: THANK YOU for that link!! We drove all over tarnation in that thing. Cross country and on up through Canada.
as the world burns: Custerwolf:
You can still buy a sweet old vista cruiser if you know where to look.
Lascauxcaveman: Ours had the nice faux wood paneling though, where are you gonna find a ride like that?
The only hummers that count (besides the sexytime variety) are the ones that come loaded up with RPGs and various machine guns. But the kevlar is too expanesive an add on feature.
Bodyguards do the driving.