Wonkette
Last year Rudy Giuliani’s humble son Andrew, then a student at Duke, sued the university for kicking him off its varsity golf team, a move that “interferred with Giuliani’s efforts toward becoming a professional golfer,” the right to which is, what, Seventh Amendment? Eighth? (Second.) Yesterday a U.S. Magistrate Judge recommended dismissing the case in a SNARKY opinion that just eviscerates this brat, with “golf humor.” Ever seen a judge reject a plaintiff’s “promissory estoppel claim” by quoting a line from Caddyshack? [The Smoking Gun]
Douchebaggery certainly doesn’t skip a generation in THAT family.
DENIED
Upscale white kids have been put down for FAR TOO LONG. Will Obama denounce and reject him?
The school (and coach Orrin Daniel Vincent III) countered by saying that Giuliani was bounced for a variety of boorish acts, including assaulting a teammate, defying coaches, and violating “both the rules and the spirit of the game of golf.”
Daaaaaamn. We’re worried about terrorists being imprisoned within our borders, and yet there’s a Giuliani spawn roaming wild who — as certified by a court — is too big an asshole for the game of golf. That’s what I call misplaced priorities.
Don’t you know that Judge Dixon did the gopher dance the entire time he was writing up this opinion. Next stop: SCOTUS!
Danny Noonan: I gotta go to college.
Ty Webb: You don’t have to go to college. This isn’t Russia. Is this Russia? This isn’t Russia.
It’s a blatant try by the court to get into the next law school textbook; however, it can’t replace my faves, the gleefully rhapsodic sentencing decree of a Texas judge announcing that a felon would be hung at sunrise or the famous “written unwritten law of Texas” decision. Whew, so glad I passed on law school for playing music!
“Golf Humor” is almost, but not quite, as funny as “Library Humor”. I believe they still have a section for both in The Reader’s Digest, however.
Damn, and I was thinking of suing my high school baseball coach for kicking me off the team, thus depriving me of my right to become an overpaid, steroid abusing bench warmer for the NYY.
Should’ve invoked the ‘but my dad’s a dickhead and I need to be away from him, golfing’ defense.
Andrew Giuliani: I planned to turn pro after college, but it looks like I won’t be able to go now.
Judge Smails: Well, the world needs ditch diggers too.
The judge should have just told him there were too many 9’s and 11’s on his scorecard.
Anything bad that happens to a Giuliani is like sunshine for me.
It seems like only yesterday the little punk was disrupting his father’s swearing-in ceremony. It’s good to see that wasn’t simply a phase.
Didn’t Adam Sandler star in a movie about Roodi’s kid?
Billy Ghouliani?
Andrew Madison?
I don’t remember.
This is the same bratty kid who upstaged Rudy at his swearing-in about 20 years ago, running all over the stage and mugging for the cameras while Rudy tried to speechify. I remember a lot of people blasted Rudy and whoever his wife was at the time for having an out-of-control kid. Guess they never did get control of him….
911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911
You’ll get nothing and LIKE it, Spalding.
“$5 says the Giuliani kid picks his nose”
“$10 says he eats it”
Do you think the judge had Caddyshack playing in the background when he wrote this thing? I can’t believe I’m finding a law document full of hilarity. “Plantiff attempts to take a mulligan with this argument, however, his shot still lands in the drink.” “Plantiff also shanks this claim.” I think this guy had way too much fun writing this.
“The world needs ditch-diggers too.”
OF COURSE Giuliani’s kid goes to Duke. Perhaps he can now join Duke’s glorious lacrosse team (who are NOT GUILTY, of course — they just like to party).
General rule with some exceptions: people who go to Duke or Princeton are fucktards.
Sternographer’s record:
Judge: What’s that sign say?
Andrew Giuliani: No bare feet.
Judge: What’s THAT sign say?
Andrew Giuliani: No fighting.
Judge: What does it mean?
Andrew Giuliani: No fighting.
Judge: You owe me one gumball machine.
He has that Giuliani sociopath gene. He just chose to apply it to the game of golf.
A noun, a verb, Rudy - no, correction - Andrew Giuliani - Fore!!!!
the deliverator: And then there’s this classic:
http://graphics8.nytimes.com/packages/pdf/obituaries/infieldfly.pdf
/does victory dance to “I’m alright”
true story: rudy giouilianai’s son is a dipshit.
i am a “duke alum” and a couple years ago a friend of mine happened to be in an on-campus 24 hour eatery around 3am on a saturday (which is when the entirety of all drunk fraternity people like to enjoy a burger). understandably, the poor wretches who had to fry these burgers were a bit overwhelmed. however, this rudy giulianai son fellow was not happy with having to wait like all the other drunk schlubs. so he felt like the correct course of action was to actually yell at the employees something to the tune of “do you know who my father is? do you know who i am?” etc etc. unfortunately this is only a little bit worse than the average treatment that duke restaurant employees generally receive from duke students. i sincerely hope that rudy gioualiana’s son received a big pile of spit mixed with armpit mixed with other things on his delicious burger that night.
the end.
Rudy loves Dr Ron!
nam redux
chickenhawks
charlie foxtrot
anthrax intimidation
extortion blackmail bribery
federal reserve is not federal
neocon 911 crime of the century
israel first dual nationals aipac
gravel kucinich paul nader
mckinney ventura too
perotcharts.com
RATM
“Neocon Rudy loves Dr Ron!”